In a rut... need prayers

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Apple_Fan_Boy

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I’m in a funk which I can’t seem to snap out of.

My wife was offered this incredible job relocation.
We were all excited at the thought of leaving the cold behind us to enjoy warmer weather.
Everything was going well with the negotiations at work.

But… yes there is a but…

But the full time relocation turned into a 3 year relocation.
We sorta panicked as we were not expecting that.

We talked about it, she asked for my advice, I said turned the offer down.
She did.

Bad bad bad bad advice.
I feel like absolute **** ever since.
She feels bad because she worked she really wanted this.
Heck, we both did.

I keep telling myself this happened for a reason.
I keep telling myself if it was meant to be, it will happen.
I’m praying to God that my wife gets another chance at this relocation because it wasn’t her fault, it was my fault for giving her the wrong advice.
She didn’t do anything wrong here. She listened to me thinking I was right.
I wasn’t. I wish I could take back that evening I gave her bad advice.

I’m praying that if she doesn’t get another opportunity, then I have the strength to accept it and somehow try to make up for it.
I’m praying for clarity hoping to understand what God’s plan is for us.

I’m angry at myself for not taking the time really sit back and think things out.

Has anyone here ever given out absolute bad advice which backfired and you wish you could have taken back?

Rant over
 
A full time relocation is different then a 3 year one. Imo u both chose security. This is an honorable choice, and I hope you both have peace with this decision.
 
mommy_k said:
A full time relocation is different then a 3 year one. Imo u both chose security. This is an honorable choice, and I hope you both have peace with this decision.
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Yes.

OP, you don’t know that you made the wrong decision. You can’t know that. What if you relocated and then three years later, she couldn’t find a new job?

You have made a very reasonable decision.
 
I think it’s normal to have some level of buyers remorse over decisions even when it’s the right decision. Things do happen for a reason.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

For Help in Trials

Most holy apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of His enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of hopeless cases–of things despaired of. Pray for me who feels so hopeless. Make use, I implore you, of that particular privilege accorded to you of bringing visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolations and succor of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, in particular (Maggie and her husband), and that I may bless God with you and all the elect throughout eternity. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, and I will never cease to honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to do all in my power to encourage devotion to you. Amen.

†

Prayer to Our Lady of Mental Peace

O Lady of Mental Peace,
Mother of Tranquility
and Mother of Hope,
look upon Apple_Fan_Boy in this time
of weakness and unrest.

Teach her searching heart
to know that God’s Love
for her is unchanging and
unchangeable, and, that
true human love can only
begin and grow by touching
His Love.

Let your gentle Peace -
which this world cannot give
  • be always with her.
    And, help her to bring this
    same Peace into the lives
    of others.
Our Lady of Mental Peace,
  • Pray for us!
    Amen.
Jesus, Help Me!

In every need let me come to You with humble trust,
saying:
Jesus, help me!
In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations:
Jesus, help me!
In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials:
Jesus, help me!
In the failure of my plans and hopes, in disappointments,
troubles and sorrows:
Jesus, help me!
When others fail me, and Your Grace alone can assist me:
Jesus, help me!
When I throw myself on Your tender Love as Savior:
Jesus, help me!
When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good
come from my efforts:
Jesus, help me!
When I feel impatient, and my cross irritates me:
Jesus, help me!
When I am ill, and my head and hands cannot work and
I am lonely:
Jesus, help me!

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls and short-
comings of every kind:
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, help me and never forsake me!

Amen

†
 
I do understand what everyone has said.
Same thoughts that crossed my mind as well.

This weights heavy on me as I’m the one that suggested she decline the offer.
Of all the time she chooses to listen to me, it’s gotta be this one time.

I dunno.
I’m sure it will just take time to get over this.
 
Offered a prayer that things will turn out for the best.
It’s very tough when we feel or know that our influence, words, or actions cause some unchangeable painful outcome for anyone else. Hard to live with, I know from experience.
God grant you peace and trust He will work all things to good.

Romans 8:28
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Please God it will be so
 
Apple_Fan,

My view is you both made the right choice, yes they always come with the “what if”. If she is in a good job now and happy with it, and it is stable, then you made a good choice.

An example for me was that a friend that I worked with left the company we were at to work a few states over. Loved the job, very good salary, and was happy with it. After several months went to work on a Monday and the doors were chained shut. The company went under, and no one had any idea all looked good for the company. He has a family so I am sure he had to take the first job that was offered, regardless of the salary.

Remember the grass is always greener . . . .

I pray God grants you both peace and happiness.

Winter
 
Winter_Warlock,

I know, I know…
Doesn’t make it any easier though.

I think this wouldn’t hurt me as much if I had let her have the final say.
She asked for my opinion and I stated/worded my opinion more as a fact.
I worded it in a way that gave the impression I was 100% correct.
When the truth was, I wasn’t.

I should have given my opinion and then told her that regardless of what I said or thought,
she had the last say and we would all support her decision, whatever it might have been.

I wish so badly I could go back and redo that evening over.

I don’t know.
I’ve been so off lately.
 
Apple_Fan,

You did give you opinion – and it was 100% fact to you, both things can be correct. And your wife, agreed to a certain extent; as she agreed with you. I am sure your wife is an intelligent woman who would tell you if you were wrong or mistaken. And in this case if she disagreed with you she would have told you. As is she most likely had concerns about taking the job herself, and you helped her with those concerns.

The remorse you have now is because of the the way you expressed yourself – and it is obvious that you love your wife very much. Maybe you can talk with her now and let her know just that; that you regret your tone / statements that night and that you feel guilty over them as you love her and you did not mean to cause any harm – if you did. But that you think the BOTH of you made the right decision.

May God grant you peace and happiness now and always.

Winter
 
Lord as it’s not possible to change the past, please give his wife peace over the choice made, and please open another opportunity that fits better if that’s for the best.
Lord for this husband and for all of us who suffer as result of past choices that affect others and ourselves, we ask healing and blessing greater than the blessings we lost through our mistakes.
 
Thanks again for the advice and suggestions.

My wife knew that I was unhappy. That I regretted the advice I had given her.
I told her I was sorry. I told her that if I could, I would redo that evening all over again.

I’ve been asked for my advice in the past and I do not recall an instance where my (name removed by moderator)ut backfired in such a grand manner.
I can’t recall the last time I was so down on something.
I’m trying to move forward but I can’t lie… it’s not easy.

I just say my prayers now for a 2nd chance to right this wrong or to accept and move forward.
 
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