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catharina
Guest
Any idea if you’re suffering from clinical depression? Been to a doctor lately?
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Tollers
Guest
I was just about to post something along these lines. In our spiritual quest and questioning, we should keep in mind that there are physical ailments that affect us on all levels.
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jmeyer3131
Guest
That’s a good question. Depression would make a difference on how you view things, such as mentioning in your first post that nothing good happens when, of course, there are always some good things.
I’ve been where you are. I’ve had physical sufferering that kept me bedridden for years. I’ve used the “H” word in describing how I felt about God.
You say you’d prefer physical suffering; believe me, when you’re in bed on pain pills, living in a fog of meds and pain, it’s an awful place to be. It’s especially difficult when you have a young child at home who you can’t properly care for, who you love deeply and want to be a proper parent to.
I’ve struggled with some of your same issues, particularly where Jesus instructs us to ask for things, and we read those words as meaning to ask for anything and it will be given. Those same sentiments led me from where you are now to seriously doubting His existence.
Note that in Luke, where one of the examples of asking and being given is told, this is the conclusion:
If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"
For me, I eventually got to the point that my entire focus was on asking for faith. I finally realized that this was all that mattered. None of the rest, my questions on why my other prayers weren’t answered, none of my questions mattered. I cried out for faith, having once known it and now knowing it’s loss. And when my prayers seemed to go unanswered, it made me even more agnostic.
And it still took years and persistency. I’m still not where I need to be, but after a decade, I had some rather dramatic things happen during Lent that have helped. In fact, one of those dramatic things gave me the answer to why I didn’t immediately receive faith when I asked for it. Now I know why it took so long, and I’m pretty convinced that there will be a day when I’m where I need to be.
Notice, though, that I was not by now focussing on what God can do for me, but on what I can do to regain my faith in God, under the assumption that if there is a God, He really does want us to believe.
It does sound a bit on your post like you are looking for God to give you what you want, and in return you’re saying you don’t want to be all that spiritual. But what if that’s exactly what God is calling you to? It seems you are trying to limit Him.
I know that many people work in jobs they aren’t crazy about, jobs that they wouldn’t take if they could find what they wanted, but they do it to pay bills. Many, many people can’t find relationships, or can’t find satisfying ones. While Jesus said not to worry, he also asked us to take up our cross and follow Him.
So maybe you can find a way to use your cross to do just that.
I also know that depression can keep you from seeing things clearly. If you think you may be experiencing this, it’s worth your time to see somebody about it.
Good luck.
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catharina
Guest
Your post is beautiful. Hope it does a lot of good for Severus Snape.
Thanks for sharing so much.
J
jmeyer3131
Guest
Thank you. I really appreciate this.
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catharina
Guest
Thanks for the thanks, you’re more than welcome!
One thing about your previous post that touched me so much is that you found yourself to be quite ill at the very moment that you thought you’d be a very loving and INVOLVED mother. Me too - and what a great cross. However, the lesson (and some of us learn it sooner rather than later since it’s “forced” upon us) is that our children are most truly in the hands and care of God. My son is 33 yrs old now and he’s a wonderful young man. It was a HUGE part of my suffering that I couldn’t be easily available to him at all times in his earliest years, but I learned then (and taught him too) our hope is in the Lord, first and last and always.
Hope this thought resonates with you too.
J
jmeyer3131
Guest
Yes, it does. Hugely. Thank you.
And you’re right about leaving it in God’s hands. My daughter is now 15 and a terrific person with a very strong faith.
She also knows about my doubts. I want her to know that if she ever has times of doubts to never, ever give up.
Thanks for sharing that. Your understanding has made my day.
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catharina
Guest
You’re very welcome and thanks right back to you!
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Karol_Lynn
Guest
Out of curiosity, HOW are you praying? When asking, are you asking for what you NEED or what you WANT? Are you asking this according to His will for you?
I have lived the last few years financially instable because of my own stupidity, but in the midst of this, Father has taught me how and what I need to know.
I know it seems like He isn’t listening, but maybe it’s just that YOU aren’t listening to what He is trying to teach you. Try being still and you will eventually HEAR what it is that must be done…
I am praying for you!!
Father Bless you,
Karol Lynn
I have lived the last few years financially instable because of my own stupidity, but in the midst of this, Father has taught me how and what I need to know.
I know it seems like He isn’t listening, but maybe it’s just that YOU aren’t listening to what He is trying to teach you. Try being still and you will eventually HEAR what it is that must be done…
I am praying for you!!
Father Bless you,
Karol Lynn
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catharina
Guest
Excellent questions: how and for what are you praying.
My darling mother died a few years back at the age of 88 yrs. She was a lifelong Catholic who taught her eight children that a perfect prayer of petition is to ask God to lead us to do His will.
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fhansen
Guest
SS, unhappiness is standard operating procedure for most of us-virtually none of us have the true joy which God offers. I’m 54 yrs old and no matter whether I’ve had a lot or a little of what the world has to offer I’ve always been able to find plenty of reasons to feel deprived. But if we look closely for the source of our unhappiness I believe we’ll find that it’s almost always ego driven-the"pride of life" and all. In other words, happiness is the natural state of mankind- and Gods’ desire for us- and the main reason for it’s absence comes by our being distracted by listening to a thought or thoughts (temptations) which attempt to give us reasons for hating ourselves and our lives by showing us how deprived we are for not having this or how angry we should be at this person who hurt us or how stupid we would be for being satisfied with no more than the basic necessities of life. And the world outside usually supports and is co-conspirator in this thinking as it’s also driven more by ego than love. I know people who have far less than me in terms of health and family and material possessions and are still happier than I am. Maybe they should stop that. But the point is, there is little stopping any of us right at this moment from choosing happiness in spite of what anyone might say or offer as reasons for why we would be happier yet if we just did this or had that. Adam & Eve had it all and still let themselves be convinced that they needed more so they looked outside of God and the natural joy he gave them to see if there was something he was holding out from them and we’ve all been doing it ever since. It’s not Him or the Church or anything else-it’s us listening to the wrong voice.
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LilyM
Guest
Ever tried thanking God for the pain and suffering as well as the good? That’s what it means to give thanks at all times. When you can do that then you’ll know you’ve really progressed.
St Paul says Col 1:24 ‘I now REJOICE in my sufferings for you, and fill up that which is lacking in the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for His body’s sake, which is the Church’. (my emphasis)
Remember that, since we are members of Christ’s body, we can and should unite our sufferings, whatever they may be, to His - when we do, they become part of the same great saving work that He achieved by suffering in His body on the cross, which is an awe-inspiring thing.
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EasterJoy
Guest
Well, sometimes what you want isn’t what God wants for you. I’m a mom. I love my kids to death. A lot of times they don’t get what they want from me, they sometimes even get mad at me and say they hate me, they want to know why everything has to be “your way, Mom!”
Why don’t you want to be a saint? You do know that God is going to make you into one, right? As I tell my kids, if we don’t become saints, and we go to Heaven, it isn’t going to be Heaven for very long!!
You do realize that sanctity isn’t something that you do for God–as if the Creator of the entire universe needed you to accomplish things–but something that makes you into the kind of man that will give you joy?
I teach religious education, too. One day, we were talking about the story of the prodigal son. I asked them what the point of the story was. They said, “Don’t spend all your money! Invest some of it!”
I had to explain to them that this inheritance was not money that the father had sitting in a bank account. It had been vineyards and farms and other projects, that gave people jobs, that fed those in need, that gave them community. Imagine how joyful it must have been, to be an employee of that father! Kind of like being an angel, in fact! There simply was no better place for that wealth than where the Father had it.
The story shows that the prodigal son, in contrast, used the money in ways that left people worse than they were before. He had taught people to use him as a thing, as no more than a disposable source of personal pleasure, rather than a source of joyful and sustaining relationship, as the father had. It wasn’t just the son’s friends who let him down. It went both ways.
Likewise, the older son thought he was working for the father because the father needed his labor. But this was an extremely wealthy man with many servants! He didn’t need his sons to work for the sake of their labor! He needed his sons to work his concerns because that was the only way they would mature into men like him. To a father like that, there could be nothing more loving act than raising sons like himself. What could give a man greater joy, than to be like that father? That was clearly the father’s goal, not increasing his own landholdings or power.
In other words, neither son appreciated why the father asked them to do what he had asked them to do, or why they needed to refrain from doing what he asked them to refrain from. (I don’t think we need to wonder much about what kind of friends the older son had in mind with regards to the goat barbeque he had been denied!)
I would look again at this business of becoming a saint. You aren’t going to become Mother Theresa or Padre Pio. Sinners are tediously alike, but every saint is an entirely new creation, the full realization of that person’s deepest being. Saints, once saints, don’t want to go back. They want to go forward. That is where your happiness lies, kiddo!
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Severus_Snape
Guest
Thanks grandmaWell, sometimes what you want isn’t what God wants for you. I’m a mom. I love my kids to death. A lot of times they don’t get what they want from me, they sometimes even get mad at me and say they hate me, they want to know why everything has to be “your way, Mom!”
Why don’t you want to be a saint? You do know that God is going to make you into one, right? As I tell my kids, if we don’t become saints, and we go to Heaven, it isn’t going to be Heaven for very long!!
You do realize that sanctity isn’t something that you do for God–as if the Creator of the entire universe needed you to accomplish things–but something that makes you into the kind of man that will give you joy?
I teach religious education, too. One day, we were talking about the story of the prodigal son. I asked them what the point of the story was. They said, “Don’t spend all your money! Invest some of it!”
I had to explain to them that this inheritance was not money that the father had sitting in a bank account. It had been vineyards and farms and other projects, that gave people jobs, that fed those in need, that gave them community. Imagine how joyful it must have been, to be an employee of that father! Kind of like being an angel, in fact! There simply was no better place for that wealth than where the Father had it.
The story shows that the prodigal son, in contrast, used the money in ways that left people worse than they were before. He had taught people to use him as a thing, as no more than a disposable source of personal pleasure, rather than a source of joyful and sustaining relationship, as the father had. It wasn’t just the son’s friends who let him down. It went both ways.
Likewise, the older son thought he was working for the father because the father needed his labor. But this was an extremely wealthy man with many servants! He didn’t need his sons to work for the sake of their labor! He needed his sons to work his concerns because that was the only way they would mature into men like him. To a father like that, there could be nothing more loving act than raising sons like himself. What could give a man greater joy, than to be like that father? That was clearly the father’s goal, not increasing his own landholdings or power.
In other words, neither son appreciated why the father asked them to do what he had asked them to do, or why they needed to refrain from doing what he asked them to refrain from. (I don’t think we need to wonder much about what kind of friends the older son had in mind with regards to the goat barbeque he had been denied!)
I would look again at this business of becoming a saint. You aren’t going to become Mother Theresa or Padre Pio. Sinners are tediously alike, but every saint is an entirely new creation, the full realization of that person’s deepest being. Saints, once saints, don’t want to go back. They want to go forward. That is where your happiness lies, kiddo!
E
EasterJoy
Guest
Don’t mention it, honey.
Seriously, though…if you don’t want to hand over to God what is his, which happens to also be your only joy, well, what on earth is God supposed to do with that?
OK, no longer serious…Youth. Hmmph.
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Harmony1988
Guest
You are unlikely to get people to listen to you if you call them ‘kiddo’ especially if they are 20 years oldOK, no longer serious…Youth. Hmmph.
S
Severus_Snape
Guest
Thanks for all your comments and suggestions. I do mean it, all the advice, gestures and kind words, they do mean a lot. I may not see eye to eye on somethings with some of you, but nevertheless…thanks
May we all find happiness.
God Bless
May we all find happiness.
God Bless
J
Jimdandy
Guest
SS: Jesus is right there beside you, each and every day.
Ask your Guardian Angel to remind you of this when you feel overwhelmed with despair.
Perhaps God is calling you to a life of poverty of spirit for a very good reason, and to completely understand this gift you must come to appreciate this.
Ask and you shall receive mostly refers to spiritual needs-which God freely gives if you but ask for them.
Example of what I mean: An obese person longs to lose weight and be healthy blames God for their metabolism-when in reality God wants this person to recognize the hardships of being overweight-how awful others judge and treat them.
When the person realizes this, this helps them to recognize all sorts of other judgmental ideologies they have and then they CHANGE their behavior of how they treat others.
Jesus was born poor, and remained very poor all His life.
I will pray for you that the Holy Spirit will come to you and console you-He really is trying to send you a message already. Open your heart to Him.
Peace be with you.
Ask your Guardian Angel to remind you of this when you feel overwhelmed with despair.
Perhaps God is calling you to a life of poverty of spirit for a very good reason, and to completely understand this gift you must come to appreciate this.
Ask and you shall receive mostly refers to spiritual needs-which God freely gives if you but ask for them.
Example of what I mean: An obese person longs to lose weight and be healthy blames God for their metabolism-when in reality God wants this person to recognize the hardships of being overweight-how awful others judge and treat them.
When the person realizes this, this helps them to recognize all sorts of other judgmental ideologies they have and then they CHANGE their behavior of how they treat others.
Jesus was born poor, and remained very poor all His life.
I will pray for you that the Holy Spirit will come to you and console you-He really is trying to send you a message already. Open your heart to Him.
Peace be with you.
C
catharina
Guest
Really, what God has promised us is PEACE, not happiness.
That means in easy times and tough times, we can continue to be at peace, to give thanks, to follow God’s will in our lives. It does seem that there’s an American thing that promises happiness, “the right to pursue happiness,” a human-nature inclination that seeks for comfort and pleasure, but God’s promise to us is that we shall have peace, a peace that passes all understanding. Does that mean happiness is a given within that promise? I don’t think so. At my age, I lose more people to death each year. It’s tough and it’s not happy - but at times when I see that a brother is in great pain and has been so for years, then when death comes it brings a sense of peace for all who will miss him here on earth. We’re not happy he’s gone but we can manage to be at peace about it.
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fhansen
Guest
I think it could be said that peace is an element of happiness but while perfect happiness is not achievable outside of the beatific vision, peace in the midst of life’s storms is a great blessing which our faith affords us. But in any case it might be relevant here to point out that happiness is Gods’ ultimate goal for us and His gospel exhorts us to taste it here as well. The less attached we are to worldly things and the more childlike our approach to God- the more we are turned towards Him in general- the greater our happiness will be. The words “beatitude” and “beatific” are both defined, in part, by happiness. The Church acknowledges and addresses mans’ God-instilled desire for this in her catechism:
**II. THE DESIRE FOR HAPPINESS
1718 The Beatitudes respond to the natural desire for happiness. This desire is of divine origin: God has placed it in the human heart in order to draw man to the One who alone can fulfill it:
We all want to live happily; in the whole human race there is no one who does not assent to this proposition, even before it is fully articulated.13
How is it, then, that I seek you, Lord? Since in seeking you, my God, I seek a happy life, let me seek you so that my soul may live, for my body draws life from my soul and my soul draws life from you.14
God alone satisfies.15
1719 The Beatitudes reveal the goal of human existence, the ultimate end of human acts: God calls us to his own beatitude. This vocation is addressed to each individual personally, but also to the Church as a whole, the new people made up of those who have accepted the promise and live from it in faith.
2548 Desire for true happiness frees man from his immoderate attachment to the goods of this world so that he can find his fulfillment in the vision and beatitude of God. "The promise [of seeing God] surpasses all beatitude. . . . In Scripture, to see is to possess. . . . Whoever sees God has obtained all the goods of which he can conceive."344
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