In desperate need of Spiritual Help! please read

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pwlj_christ87

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Hello all I would like to pour my heart out into this post. Im not asking for money or anything other than spiritual help because I am severlely struggling and its eating me alive.
Please take the time to read this and help a fellow brother out because this is the only place I can turn to as I dont have many christian friends.

I am a catholic and have been baptised as an infant, I have attended church growing up but would say I was more of a easter and christmas goer. Anyways I am an early adult now and have decided to follow christ more closely and after reading the catechism this for me meant being active in the church.

What I struggle with is constant attacks in my head and it kills me, almost makes me unable to function and constant worry. Everything had been going good for about a month or so, I got halfway into the catechism and private bible study and then last night after church I started to think about blasphemy of the holy spirit, and all these wrong thoughts came to my head that werent mine and I kept trying to block them but one thought got threw and now I’m afraid for myself and my salvation.

All day I couldnt think of anything other than this and I drove to my church an hour and a half early to make sure I saw a priest in the confessional and he absolved me however on my drive home I kept thinking that I am good for nothing and that Im going to be seperated eternally from christ.

Honestly I have been dealt a bad hand in life with some bad medical problems and a household that was less than christ like growing up which in turn made me angry and rebellious throughout my teens. I am a good person now and i understand I have to be good, I dont like to sin and the last thing I would want is to be eternally and forever seperated from God, Christ, and people in heaven I want to meet.

Can you guys please help me, I would go to a church right now but I know the doors are locked and shut and I need a peace of mind or comfort going to bed. Having an exam tommorow morning doesnt help either.

Please,
Love

Pwlj
 
It seems like whenever I try to draw near to God, these thoughts and condemning thoughts come to my brain and It leaves me not walking away from god but just avoiding church and his word to take my mind of things. i dont want to live this way and be on my death bed ready to meet the lord and think of all the things i didnt do and the christian life i missed out on…
 
Just know that you are not alone. I am suffering spiritually as well and so are many others. Sometimes that is a great comfort in an odd way. Say a prayer to the Holy Spirit and maybe read the Bible tonight or pray. You will realize that the Lord knows you better than you know yourself. (I should take my own advice tonight!) I hope I helped a little.
 
thanks for your post it does help and it is good to know that there are others that suffer. I think its a horrible thing to suffer such things, the one thing I want more than anything in the world is to be a catholic christian warrior, somebody that is so rock solid in their faith and will not sway when trouble arises or give in. Maybe this is to make us stronger my friend,we for sure wont be weakened by this… it would just be nice for someone stronger than me to give me some advice , take away this guilt, and assure me im not going to spend my entire life in hell,
 
Don’t limit God’s forgiveness.

Don’t limit God.

I have the same sort of struggles in believing that God has forgiven me of my repeated sins. That is not God that is the evil one trying to create doubt.

My biggest step in faith so far in my life is trusting that God forgives you everything you ask for in forgiveness and throws it as far as the east is from the west.

Take heart in that. You ask it is done. It is tossed in the wind. you have a clean slate.

Mike
 
pwlj_christ87 said:
thanks for your post it does help and it is good to know that there are others that suffer. I think its a horrible thing to suffer such things, the one thing I want more than anything in the world is to be a catholic christian warrior, somebody that is so rock solid in their faith and will not sway when trouble arises or give in. Maybe this is to make us stronger my friend,we for sure wont be weakened by this… it would just be nice for someone stronger than me to give me some advice , take away this guilt, and assure me im not going to spend my entire life in hell,
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Your fate is not yet sealed one way or another yet or you would have been harvested already. Do you know who is planting these thoughts in your mind? It is none other than Satan and that is a fact. The angels minister to Gods will, the demons minister to Satan.
If you haven’t talked to Mary or the Archangel Michael about this, I suggest you do so now. The Lord first, but they are very important in your struggle here. Michael commands God’s army. I’m sure you know the importance of Mary. The Rosary will help almost as much as reading the Gospel.

God is allowing you to be tested. Why do you think it is horrible? A small price to pay for eternal life, I sure hope I pass though (for I am weak and sinful). Have you not sinned? He is offering forgiveness for those sins.

You seek to be someone who will not sway in your faith. It is your time to shine. You have a choice to be that person. The whole world will not see it, it will be a secret between you and the Lord.

You and Him will both know that when Satan tested you, for once in your life, you rose to the occasion and kept the Lord’s word close to your heart.

During this time, you need to keep the Lord’s word close. Make sure to understand everything you read in the Gospel.

When you say you allowed one thought to get through. I know EXACTLY what you mean. It is an evil seed that was planted in your mind. You are lucky enough to be able to catch them. There are others who are not able to do this please understand that it is a real blessing.

Remember who Satan is. You can only defeat him by keeping the Lord’s word close to your heart.
 
Rely on the Mercy of God. He knows you are not courting these thoughts. Try a divine mercy chaplet!

Look around- there may be a 24/7 adoration chapel near you that could be of some comfort.
 
PLEASE READ: i know EXACTLY what you are going through. i was once in the exact same boat. i would cry , and have severe panic attacks over severly blasphemous thoughts. my life was so bad, and the thoughts haunted me day and night. i prayed and prayed, read the lives of the saints, but nothing helped. the way i got over it was this “Resist the devil and he will flee from you” i fought of the bads thoughts allll day it was a living nightmare. what i did to help combat my bad thoughts was quoting scripture. pick a favorite verse of a short Pslam. i chose :Blessed be the Name of the Lord,now and forever. say this over and over in your mind and occasionally out loud. I would pray the Rosary, keep a blessed one with me etc. and you are not damned to hell. God is loving and merciful and knows you aren’t wishing to think against Him. if you were wanting to think against Him these thoughts would bring you pleasure, but the obviously don’t. God loves and isn’t going to send you to Hell over unwanted thoughts. the BIG thing that helped me was talking to my priest. I actually cried on my priest :o and “God helps those who helps themselves” please! go speak to your priest, and go to Confession. I am going to make my Rosary intention for you tonight if it makes you feel better. God Bless you. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
FaithInTheSon said:
Your fate is not yet sealed one way or another yet or you would have been harvested already. Do you know who is planting these thoughts in your mind? It is none other than Satan and that is a fact. The angels minister to Gods will, the demons minister to Satan.
If you haven’t talked to Mary or the Archangel Michael about this, I suggest you do so now. The Lord first, but they are very important in your struggle here. Michael commands God’s army. I’m sure you know the importance of Mary. The Rosary will help almost as much as reading the Gospel.

God is allowing you to be tested. Why do you think it is horrible? A small price to pay for eternal life, I sure hope I pass though (for I am weak and sinful). Have you not sinned? He is offering forgiveness for those sins.

You seek to be someone who will not sway in your faith. It is your time to shine. You have a choice to be that person. The whole world will not see it, it will be a secret between you and the Lord.

You and Him will both know that when Satan tested you, for once in your life, you rose to the occasion and kept the Lord’s word close to your heart.

During this time, you need to keep the Lord’s word close. Make sure to understand everything you read in the Gospel.

When you say you allowed one thought to get through. I know EXACTLY what you mean. It is an evil seed that was planted in your mind. You are lucky enough to be able to catch them. There are others who are not able to do this please understand that it is a real blessing.

Remember who Satan is. You can only defeat him by keeping the Lord’s word close to your heart.
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Very good advise.👍👍👍

Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

We are all in the same struggle. You are not alone. Just leave everything to Our Lord, and don’t worry. Trust Our Lord. He is all merciful and love.:cool:
 
Pray, Pray, Pray, and then Pray some more. I, too, went through a difficult period of time and it was only through God’s mercy that I overcame.

Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Jesus, I trust in You.
 
Try reading Scupoli’s “The Spiritual Combat”. It was a real help for me when I had similar problems a few years ago. Also daily Rosaries and corporal works of mercy helped very much.
Most important of all: Don’t Quit!
👍
 
pwlj_christ87 said:
thanks for your post it does help and it is good to know that there are others that suffer. I think its a horrible thing to suffer such things, the one thing I want more than anything in the world is to **be a catholic christian warrior, **somebody that is so rock solid in their faith and will not sway when trouble arises or give in. Maybe this is to make us stronger my friend,we for sure wont be weakened by this… it would just be nice for someone stronger than me to give me some advice , take away this guilt, and assure me im not going to spend my entire life in hell,
Click to expand...
You want to be a Christian warrior–some Christian warriors go through this; it does *not *mean you are not on your way. Spiritual Combat, recommended above, is a great resource, but also read the lives of the saints, some of them went through terrible temptations.

What my children are studying this week in their Baltimore Catechism:

Q. Can we always resist temptations?

A. We can always resist temptations, because no temptation can force us into sin, and because God will always help us if we ask Him.
 
FaithInTheSon said:
Your fate is not yet sealed one way or another yet or you would have been harvested already. Do you know who is planting these thoughts in your mind? It is none other than Satan and that is a fact. The angels minister to Gods will, the demons minister to Satan.
If you haven’t talked to Mary or the Archangel Michael about this, I suggest you do so now. The Lord first, but they are very important in your struggle here. Michael commands God’s army. I’m sure you know the importance of Mary. The Rosary will help almost as much as reading the Gospel.

God is allowing you to be tested. Why do you think it is horrible? A small price to pay for eternal life, I sure hope I pass though (for I am weak and sinful). Have you not sinned? He is offering forgiveness for those sins.

You seek to be someone who will not sway in your faith. It is your time to shine. You have a choice to be that person. The whole world will not see it, it will be a secret between you and the Lord.

You and Him will both know that when Satan tested you, for once in your life, you rose to the occasion and kept the Lord’s word close to your heart.

During this time, you need to keep the Lord’s word close. Make sure to understand everything you read in the Gospel.

When you say you allowed one thought to get through. I know EXACTLY what you mean. It is an evil seed that was planted in your mind. You are lucky enough to be able to catch them. There are others who are not able to do this please understand that it is a real blessing.

Remember who Satan is. You can only defeat him by keeping the Lord’s word close to your heart.
Click to expand...
Exactly right. The closer we are to God the more and the harder the devil fights. You are at a pivotal moment in your life and Satan knows it and is trying to ruin it for you. Pray, Pray, Pray to Our Lady who the devil(s) can’t help but respect and shy away from. Call upon St. Michael for protection. Pray the Our Father or a Hail Mary every time such a thought occurs. It will help. And sadly it will get worse before it gets better and so you must persevere and ask God for strength and courage. “Ask and you shall receive.”

God Bless

PS some of the saints went through this too, so take courage.
 
Scrupulosity is what it sounds like. I suffer from the same burden. It is a terror. I will pray for you my friend…
 
Jeff616 said:
Try reading Scupoli’s “The Spiritual Combat”. It was a real help for me when I had similar problems a few years ago. Also daily Rosaries and corporal works of mercy helped very much.
Most important of all: Don’t Quit!
👍
Click to expand...
I second. Fantastic stuff.
It’s pretty normal. You will spiritually grow out of it.
 
Yeah, satan thought he had you, and you are proving him wrong! That’s why he’s attacking you. He hates to be wrong. Hang in there, it will get better.

If you can, go to adoration. The physical presence of Jesus will help and strengthen you, not to mention the huge numbers of angels that are there.

Don’t forget that you have your own guardian angel, with you all the time.

And pray to St. Michael:

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

:grouphug:
 
"What I struggle with is constant attacks in my head and it kills me, almost makes me unable to function and constant worry. Everything had been going good for about a month or so, I got halfway into the catechism and private bible study and then last night after church** I started to think about blasphemy of the holy spirit**, and all these wrong thoughts came to my head that werent mine and I kept trying to block them but one thought got threw and now I’m afraid for myself and my salvation. "

Someone explained the quotation “Therefore, I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the Holy Spirtwill not be forgiven” Mt. 12:31 this way.: The only way one can not be forgiven is if the person refuses to believe that the Holy Spirit CAN forgive. In other words, God is able and willing to forgive us when we approach Him with sorrow for our sins. However, we are free to refuse His forgiveness.

God knows your desire to live a holy life and spend eternity with Him. The other posters have given you lots of good enouragement and advise. Two things that have helped me: to pray the Our Father over and over again until the temptor leaves or to pray “Jesus, I trust in You” continuously until the situation subsides.

God bless you and may He surround you with His holy angels.****
 
OP, I’ve dealt with something similar to what you describe. You feel this anxiety about your faith and the state of your soul, but deep down you know you believe and you want to become holy. “Do not let your heart be troubled. God is greater than our hearts and knows all things.” (cf. John 14:1, 1 John 3:20)

If you have the chance, you should also read through Introduction to the Devout Life, by Saint Francis de Sales. He helped me through a lot - almost every major spiritual issue I’ve dealt with.
“Do not have any doubts; no matter how wretched we are, we will never be able to match the mercy of God.”
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“Instead of being discouraged by our imperfections, we should be consoled. Knowing about them, we can work to correct them.”
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“Do not be afraid! Jesus has given you the desire to be good. He will help you.”
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thank you to all the posters your help is tremendous. Although Im a christian I think I can be a way better one, and my faith must increase I dont like where its at and im not content with being lukewarm becuasei Kn ow that lukewarmness will cause the lord to “spit us out” if that is the correct wording in the passage. Im struggling what can i say but im going to buy a bunch of good books and grow

this forum is amazing glad ive stubmled upon it
 
i wish it was possible to meet all of you in a room and talk and pray with each other i feel more comtrable online than doing it in person at my church but i should look into it
 
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