In-Law doesnt want to give blessing for Fiancee to marry me

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TheLittleLady said:
Who is picking up the tab? If you are expecting your MIL-to-be to pay for an extravaganza, then you will need to come to a peaceable solution.
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Whenever I hear something like this, I think of the movie Aladdin, when Jafar says, “Ever hear of the Golden Rule—whoever has the gold makes the rules?”

I think allowing the people who are paying to call the shots is reasonable, to a certain point. For example, if a request from the recipient is super outrageous, dangerous, or controversial, the giver can and should be allowed to say no. But in reasonable circumstances, I think there’s a real danger that the gift-giver can end up using money to unjustly control the gift-receiver. The OP’s situation seems like one of those circumstances.

When all is said and done, a gift with strings attached isn’t really a gift, IMHO.
 
My coworker had been in a similar situation when she’d been 18 and had married her 30-year-old husband, but it was HIS mother who kept putting up roadblocks. After the reception a friend drove them to the airport for a dream wedding trip to Hawaii that was truly unforgettable! My friend’s excitement dimmed when she realized that New Hubby’s mama had bought herself a ticket in their row, and New Hubs didn’t seem at all surprised. Not only did Mama go every place that they went, but my friend spent every night sharing a bed with her mother-in-law while Hubs slept on the couch!! Mama inveigled her presence and dominated their decisions in their marriage until they divorced,18-20 years later.

It is true, in a sense, that you gain an entire family when you marry, since you’ll likely see them frequently unless you live far away, but before you proceed with this wedding, be sure you’re not marrying Mama, too—that Mama’s not going to be in the midst of all decisions and activities. Living chastely while staying single is often preferable to a sapping marriage that slowly drains your life away.

See your priest and insist on joint counseling. If all signs then point to yes, go for it! But set firm boundaries with her—tell her courteously, but don’t ask if such and such is okay with her.

If, on further examination, you decide to break up, keep a prayerful life, look forward, and be ready for another ideal candidate. The world is full of lonely hearts.

Best wishes!
 
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A 30-year-old man who not only takes his mom on his honeymoon trip, but also expects his wife to bunk with his mom while he sleeps on the couch, has got a deep-seated psychological issue. If that happened to me I would be on the next plane home filing for divorce and annulment.
 
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