The grandparents have committed assault.I feel for ya. If it were me, I’d be livid. I fully understand their desire and motivation, but it’s a deep betrayal of you and your trust.
I pray that your family can heal and pull back together.
And right after I made a nasty lawyer crack too.This is an excellent point! I was going to say something similar, but you worded it in a much more clear and precise way than I would have.
The only reason to have it recorded is that if the deed is done, your kids will have proof that they have been baptized if they ever want the proof, which they may. It could come in handy if they marry a Catholic or decide to start practicing the faith on their own…and it is the truth, so why not? As you say, though, you did not make the decision to have them baptized, so you can hardly be blamed for not having it recorded.Thanks, but no thanks. If my in-laws wish to have this recorded, I can’t and won’t do anything to stop them, but i will not be doing anything on my part to have this done. I really don’t see why I should especially if has no real meaning to me. It’s not as if this is going to stop the kids from being or becoming Catholic in the future, it will just make things a little longer. If they wish to become baptized in another church, this baptism will not stop them either. The children will certainly continue to see their grandparents, for goodness sakes they are my wife’s parents! We are slightly angry (mostly annoyed) at them because they are trying to force their beliefs on us when we have clearly stated what our boundaries are, but we will never cut ties with them. The children don’t need a certificate to tell them they are loved. If we receive a certificate then fine, it will just go in their baby book and we’ll let the kids know grandma and grandpa did a naughty thing behind mom and dad’s back. I’m sure they will have other things as well as memories to remember them by.
Until they learn their place, my in-laws will not be looking after the children while we are working, that is all. They can come visit them as many times as they want, provided I or my wife are there. We will still be having Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with them as well as any other family activities. For now they will be staying with my parents until my in-laws get over their grief of their grand kids not being raised Catholic.
Lol shot gun being a fly on that wall
Thank you for understanding. In their defense (and only because their daughter is the love of my life) they had the idea that they could raise the kids Catholic. My wife just went back to work as an oncologist and now is thinking about doing a Phd so the kids would have been spending a lot of time with them. I think that gave them hope, and in a way an opportunity to “make up” for their own kids not being practicing Catholics. After reading threads on parents in their situation I feel sorry for my in-laws but that’s still no excuse for what they did. Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut.
There are several grandparents at our parish who bring their grandchildren to Mass and to religious education classes and see to their catechesis, but they have the permission of their children to do it. Their grandchildren like going, so they have their parents’ permission to go with their grandparents. I have friends who have told me how your in-laws feel, but they all know that baptizing the grandchildren on their own is a no-no. I think your in-laws probably know it, too. I hope that they can work so as to deserve real trust that they will respect your parenting decisions from now on. That is how it is supposed to be. I hope they get there for you.
The Catholic Church - Stronger Morals Than Drug Dealing.
Oh yes. I like it.
The Catholic Church - Stronger Morals Than Drug Dealing.
I foresee a new bumper sticker.
. There is not a smiley in existence that can show you how hard this made me laugh.You probably know Sam Levenson’s cynical old parents’ saw, though: The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
But really though, the grandparents can’t raise them catholic. I mean, there’s the obvious issue of parents wanting, and having the inherent right and responsibility, to pass their values to their kids. But there’s also the issue of confusing the kids. You think mixed faith parenting is hard? Imagine having grandparents try to give the kids, who don’t live with them, a religious upbringing that the parents won’t reinforce.
I realize that they are unlikely to do so in this situation, but if the parents now chose to simply register their child at a local Lutheran or Methodist church, since they never provided external manifestation that the child be brought up Catholic, then the children would not be bound by Catholic canon law, correct?
This is not to say that your theoretical question is deceptive–I assume you only mean to raise the practical question of how the child would be treated by the Church later in life if the baptisms were recorded differently–but it would be deceptive to actually do what you’re suggesting. Please do not think I am attacking you; that is not my intention.
Easter Joy, you are right, I do not mean to suggest that the OP try to deceive anyone. I’m still not convinced, however, that what I’m proposing would constitute deception. There may well be a flaw in my logic, but where?
The child was baptized by a Catholic. It was a Catholic baptism. Neither the Methodists nor the Lutherans had a thing to do with it, because the parents are neither Methodist nor Lutheran. nor is the party that performed the baptisms. How could it not be deceptive to register the baptism with them? Besides, by your logic the child would be bound to practice as a Methodist or a Lutheran–there are no “random” denominations who don’t expect the baptized to do anything. Their expression of the demands of their faith may not be as formal as the canon law of the Roman Catholic Church, but it binds them just as surely.
One cannot be saved without baptism. Yes it’s possible that we can’t limit God to the sacraments, but this idea that baptism of desire is the case of everyone not baptized will be saved through baptism of desire is an abuse of the term. The grandparents likely grew up prior to Vatican II when there was a strong emphasis that the grace received through baptism would lead the person to the Catholic faith later in life (Which does happen, btw). This is a conflict which still exists today if you talk to priests from traditional orders such as the FSSP.