Let’s review:
My in-laws and all of that side of the family (sisters-in-law, grandmothers-in-law, aunts, etc.) want my husband and I to have children. I get that…However, I don’t want to involve them in that because I really feel that is personal to us.
What they want could hardly be less relevant. If you hope children will not come for awhile, that is your business, provided you do not voice that you intend to achieve that by immoral means. They don’t get to interrogate you about even that! If you decide you want eight children, and as fast as you can, they don’t get to have an opinion about that, either. None of this “they know what causes that, you know” garbage!
This is between you and God because yes, it is very personal, and babies are not a commodity you can go pick up at Costco and put on your American Express card. That is not some quirk of yours to feel that way! Polite people presume that you will, and if you don’t want to keep your deliberations private–drum roll please!–you are quite able to bring up the topic yourselves! What is their choice? To either agree to talk about it when you bring it up or else to decide they’d rather not. That is all.
amandamary; 10911003:
I’ve tried saying, “We’ll let you know when it happens. Please stop asking.”
I’ve tried, “I appreciate your concern. You’ll know first.”
I do the awkward laugh and change the subject. It has not worked.
Sometimes, they ask someone else to ask us and report back. I was fine with it but…
Were you really “fine” with that, or were you merely willing to tolerate it without letting your blood pressure rise?
You’ve tried all the gracious responses, and to be blunt they did not deserve to have you try a
single one of them. That is how out-of-bounds it is to pressure someone else to have a child, let alone to expect report on “progress” (!?!) Nice people do not stick their noses into whether other people can have children, even if those are to be their grandchildren. A few mentions of how much they would welcome any children of yours is as far as it gets to go. It takes self-control to be a good in-law, because you have to force yourself to respect that your children are now fellow adults.
Ask yourself this: What other personal decisions do these “nice people” feel entitled to stick their nose into? I’m going to wager it is not just this. It is fair to warn you that this will only get worse when you actually have children. Have a girl? When are you going to have a boy? Have another girl? Aren’t you disappointed? C’mon, tell the truth, you wish one of those girls were a boy, don’t you? Why aren’t you making sure that they _____? Why on earth do you allow them to ________? Have a boy, now. You’re not going to let him wear his hair like
that, are you? He wants to be a
what? Are you going to allow that?
Draw the line now, and do not back down. Infrequently-rewarded behavior is the hardest to extinguish, so don’t give them the idea that they can wear you out.
1ke was right: Draw your line now. If your husband refuses, draw one yourself. It is sometimes uncomfortable to ride out the initial resistance, but it beats the alternative, we can assure you of that!
When the whole room went silent, we had to say we weren’t. Believe me, there is nothing more that I want than to be pregnant right now. It is a struggle. 
I am trying to be kind and laugh it off but honestly, I am happy to avoid them. I think I’ve gotten some souls out of purgatory by offering it up! 
Any advice?
I have been emotional about it lately!