In love w/someone I'm shouldn't?

[fakename]

I like someone who might/is practicing the occult since she practices yoga and has friends that have too much interest in horoscopes.

But she was esp. nice to me awhile back and I never really got those feelings of love & gratitude to go away.

Is this attitude towards her irresponsible since she surely is not beneficial for me (judging by the company she keeps) and one should not feel good towards things that can only bring you evil.

So what do you think?

 

[grandfather]

I like someone who might/is practicing the occult since she practices yoga and has friends that have too much interest in horoscopes.

But she was esp. nice to me awhile back and I never really got those feelings of love & gratitude to go away.

Is this attitude towards her irresponsible since she surely is not beneficial for me (judging by the company she keeps) and one should not feel good towards things that can only bring you evil.

So what do you think?

When looking for a mate it is best to start out with someone who shares your religious values and outlook. It is really difficult for people involved with all the complexities of undetstanding one another in a romantic relationship and at the same time trying to deal with disordered spiritual tendencies. That is why even married people go for counselling and help to resolve issues. They need someone outside the relationship to help them out, who can see things they miss as they live out their marriage.

You are not irresponsible in being attracted to any person, but maybe a better word is imprudent.

Prudence is the learned ability to come to a right decision quickly.

Look for someone who will be supportive of your religious beliefs, and vice versa, not someone with whom you will likely clash.

 

[Trishie]

The person isn’t evil, what the person chooses to do can be evil.
You could use those feelings of gratitude to remind you to pray for her.
God desires all to be saved, and as Saint Augustine said “Love the sinner, hate the sin”
In this case it certainly means, ‘pray for her salvation and blessing.’

You like her, but to become involved with her could cause a lot of difficulties.
“In love with” often means “attracted to”, not actually love, and not everyone we are attracted to is a good potential mate.

God bless you

 

[fakename]

Still I can’t shake the feeling that being attracted to her is wrong. Is it?

But every time I think I have that feeling killed it comes back again. I do pray for her though, I just wish that I could do more, but God’s power is enough hopefully she’ll not find herself among the reprobate.

 

[Trishie]

Perhaps the feeling you have also comes from the sense that her choices would be harmful to you, and your wariness is perhaps a grace from God to protect you from becoming involved.

 

[Angela77]

Still I can’t shake the feeling that being attracted to her is wrong. Is it?

But every time I think I have that feeling killed it comes back again. I do pray for her though, I just wish that I could do more, but God’s power is enough hopefully she’ll not find herself among the reprobate.

Maybe you’d be beneficial to her. Maybe the Holy Spirit is bringing you two together for you to help her.

You could always try out the relationship…see where she stands on your religion…

Best of luck!

 

[Catholic90]

I like someone who might/is practicing the occult since she practices yoga and has friends that have too much interest in horoscopes.

But she was esp. nice to me awhile back and I never really got those feelings of love & gratitude to go away.

Is this attitude towards her irresponsible since she surely is not beneficial for me (judging by the company she keeps) and one should not feel good towards things that can only bring you evil.

So what do you think?

By “practicing yoga”, do you mean she exercises with yoga? If she is simply exercising with yoga, she is likely not involved in the occult! As far as the horoscopes, do they simply read the papers horoscope for fun? Or do they seek out other more indepth horoscope info?

Try talking to her. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Is she even interested in you “that way”?

 

[Leegal]

I like someone who might/is practicing the occult since she practices yoga and has friends that have too much interest in horoscopes.

But she was esp. nice to me awhile back and I never really got those feelings of love & gratitude to go away.

Is this attitude towards her irresponsible since she surely is not beneficial for me (judging by the company she keeps) and one should not feel good towards things that can only bring you evil.

So what do you think?

I’m not sure what you mean by practicing Yoga. Does she meditate to get in touch with Vishnu? Is she Buddhist, Jain or Hindu? Or does she do Hatha Yoga which is exercise? While it can be the precursor to the higher meditation, Hatha Yoga for the most part are non-stressful excercises and nothing more, at least the way most people take part in Hatha Yoga – non-religiously. You need to define Yoga.

Her friends are interested in Horoscopes, but you don’t say if she is?

Horoscopes should be avoided as they place an importance upon something that belongs to God alone, but I can’t imagine that no one has read a horoscope from the newspaper. That’s nonsense. Do these friends do horoscopes? Does she?

 

[fakename]

user "Catholic90":

By “practicing yoga”, do you mean she exercises with yoga? If she is simply exercising with yoga, she is likely not involved in the occult! As far as the horoscopes, do they simply read the papers horoscope for fun? Or do they seek out other more indepth horoscope info?

Try talking to her. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Is she even interested in you “that way”?

well that’s why I said might/is (she seems to just exercise). As for horoscopes, her friends have them posted on facebook and in the interest of being safe I tend to stay away from that. I remember her friends too, and some of them are too “romantic” in the sense that they’re overly attracted to spiritual sounding things like fairies or some such. So I tend to be a little cautious of those things.

I think she could’ve been interested in me in the past but she’s Muslim so I knew that could never work out so I stopped anything from occurring.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

I like someone who might/is practicing the occult since she practices yoga and has friends that have too much interest in horoscopes.

But she was esp. nice to me awhile back and I never really got those feelings of love & gratitude to go away.

1.) Yoga isn’t occult. If it’s done in a gym or fitness center, which is where the vast majority of North Americans do it, it’s exercise. If she’s studying under a yogi in an ashram then she may be incorporating Hindu mysticism into her life, but that’s still not the occult.

2.) Denigrating her because her friends are interested in horoscopes is guilt by association. Does she herself read tarot cards or make birth sign star charts? If she doesn’t, how do her friends’ actions make her an unsuitable person for you? A close friend of my family is Wiccan. Does that make me a bad Catholic?

Frankly, I think mentally teasing yourself with this thinking. She was once nice to you, and now you’re trying to think of reasons why she’s unsuitable so you don’t have to persue her. Let her go; say a prayer for her and her well-being and move on.

Luna

 

[Leegal]

well that’s why I said might/is (she seems to just exercise). As for horoscopes, her friends have them posted on facebook and in the interest of being safe I tend to stay away from that. I remember her friends too, and some of them are too “romantic” in the sense that they’re overly attracted to spiritual sounding things like fairies or some such. So I tend to be a little cautious of those things.

I think she could’ve been interested in me in the past but she’s Muslim so I knew that could never work out so I stopped anything from occurring.

Okay, you are speaking of Hatha Yoga and it’s merely exercise.

I don’t get all that stuff either, but there does seem to be this attention to fairies and stuff. I’m on a gaming site and my friends there send me this nonsense too. This is some cultural fad for now, obviously among women. So, far so good, though it is nonsense.

And now we get to the real question which is what you should have mentioned. She is Muslim. Obviously, a relationship with a practicing Catholic would be problematic for her. And that should be your concern – not the Yoga exercise (which is harmless) or the silly fairy stuff – but the fact that she is of an entirely different faith (and culture) which can cause problems in a relationship and make marriage difficult.

 

[Leegal]

Still I can’t shake the feeling that being attracted to her is wrong. Is it?

But every time I think I have that feeling killed it comes back again. I do pray for her though, I just wish that I could do more, but God’s power is enough hopefully she’ll not find herself among the reprobate.

No, it’s not wrong to be attracted to her.

But it can be a problem because of the great disparity between Islam and Catholicism. Have you discussed this with her at all? You may be expected to convert and that would be a problem.

 

[fakename]

user "Leegal":

But it can be a problem because of the great disparity between Islam and Catholicism. Have you discussed this with her at all? You may be expected to convert and that would be a problem.

it’s been years, since I’ve seen her but I suspected that the religion thing could be a problem when I was younger (in HS), so I haven’t spoken to her for quite awhile. But unfortunately the feelings have not subsided (though I tried to let go 4 times) -the feelings are my problems.

Sometimes, when I like someone, I like them very much -is that a vice of mine that is getting in my way here?

 

[Leegal]

it’s been years, since I’ve seen her but I suspected that the religion thing could be a problem when I was younger (in HS), so I haven’t spoken to her for quite awhile. But unfortunately the feelings have not subsided (though I tried to let go 4 times) -the feelings are my problems.

Sometimes, when I like someone, I like them very much -is that a vice of mine that is getting in my way here?

Since it’s been years since you have seen her, I’m going to suggest that this is not love but more of “putting her on a pedastal” based upon past recollections. What you think you know about her may not even be the same person you knew in H.S. at all, any longer. Yes, she may do yoga and fool with FB horoscopes or fairy stuff, but she might not be the person you knew back then.

I’m going to suggest that you speak with a priest. You appear to have a problem with sorting things out – as was evident here. Not a criticism, just an observation. You have not seen the woman for years but believe the impediment to a relationship is yoga and some horoscope usage.

Did you consider the Muslim/Catholic differences to be a bigger problem, even if you were in direct contact with this woman in an ongoing basis?

Wouldn’t you find more meaningful and productive relationships with people that you have access to on an ongoing basis, such as school or those you may meet in other current social activities?

Think about this.

 

[fakename]

user "Leegal":

Did you consider the Muslim/Catholic differences to be a bigger problem, even if you were in direct contact with this woman in an ongoing basis?

well, yeah that’s why I didn’t want to pursue things and still don’t.

 

[fakename]

This brings up a related question:

how can you love someone w/o falling in love w/them?

I think that I confuse the individual with their humanity. I shouldn’t love her as her but her as a human?

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

This brings up a related question:

how can you love someone w/o falling in love w/them?

I think that I confuse the individual with their humanity. I shouldn’t love her as her but her as a human?

define “love” and “falling in love”

 

[fakename]

user "Dakota Roberts":

define “love” and “falling in love”

the former: charity.

The latter: romance.

Even w/o romance though I think that it’s okay to feel a lively desire for their good?

Is it still okay to feel good for her past kindnesses to me?

I’m just asking because if we really shouldn’t like what is bad for us, then it would seem bad for me to still feel gratitude. But again, maybe I’m seeing things from one overly simplistic view point?

 

[Ancient1]

Maybe it would benefit you to spend less time on Facebook and Gaming sites and get outside and join something where you have more normal human interactions. You are having a whole relationship with this woman IN YOUR HEAD. The question “should I feel in love or not?” is irrelevant. Feelings come and go and yours are what they are. However, as you yourself have stated, that are particularly and perhaps unreasonably strong considering they are based on almost nothing in reality. Join a cycling club or a hiking group or a volunteer corps where you are living life and not obsessing over fantasies.

 

[grandfather]

the former: charity.

The latter: romance.

Even w/o romance though I think that it’s okay to feel a lively desire for their good?

Is it still okay to feel good for her past kindnesses to me?

Yes.

I’m just asking because if we really shouldn’t like what is bad for us, then it would seem bad for me to still feel gratitude. But again, maybe I’m seeing things from one overly simplistic view point?

It seems a little odd (not wrong) that a young person would remain enfatuated in a romantic sense with someone for such a long time over some past kindness. Have you had any girlfriends, any other women you have dated, or for whom you had romantic feelings, or that have expressed romantic inclinations for you?