In love w/someone I'm shouldn't?

[fakename]

user "grandfather":

It seems a little odd (not wrong) that a young person would remain enfatuated in a romantic sense with someone for such a long time over some past kindness. Have you had any girlfriends, any other women you have dated, or for whom you had romantic feelings, or that have expressed romantic inclinations for you?

Well I like unrequited love since it seems to be love par excellence. It also seems like the virtue of magnanimity in that it gives you practice in sacrificing a lot for very little.

 

[grandfather]

Well I like unrequited love since it seems to be love par excellence. It also seems like the virtue of magnanimity in that it gives you practice in sacrificing a lot for very little.

Then why did you write to ask for advice or help to anyone who might respond if you are happy with your condition?

All love is trinitarian. There is a lover, the beloved and the love itself. God is love. Love can not exist by itself. There are The Three Divine Persons. The Father gives Himself entirely to the Son and the Son returns to the Father.

Apart from thoughts about whether or not there can be such a thing as unrequited love it seems you need to ask yourself some questions. This has been going on for quite awhile. How long, how much of the rest of your life do you want to remain with this romantic attachment that is in your mind? Would it be ok if you stay this way for the rest of your life?

You said this woman showed you some kindness and therefore that created this romantic feeling or notion you have not been able to let go of since. You question if there is something disordered there so you must wonder yourself about what you are experiencing.

It is fairly normal to be appreciateive of a kindness. It is kind of strange that this would trigger a long term response of feeling a romantic attachment to a person from a distance. You did not say what this kindness was, but you must have perceived it as a very significant event in your life, very important, given the response.

Are other relationships in your life successful? Would you say you have normal friendships, people you like and with whom you share time and interests? Are you more introverted than extroverted?

Would you prefer getting over this attachment that seems to have no future and move on with life, or would you rather cling to it? Does this attachment make you happy, or does it hurt?

It is often difficult for everyone to understand why we do what we do. Often people do things that make no sense, but they feel compelled to do them and can not explain why.

We are made to love and be loved. Some of us find it and some do not. If you like the situation you are in, unrequited love, then stay there. You do not need help from strangers on a forum to accomplish this. God bless you on your journey.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

the former: charity.

The latter: romance.

Even w/o romance though I think that it’s okay to feel a lively desire for their good?

Is it still okay to feel good for her past kindnesses to me?

I’m just asking because if we really shouldn’t like what is bad for us, then it would seem bad for me to still feel gratitude. But again, maybe I’m seeing things from one overly simplistic view point?

Do you count venus, sexuality, as part of romance or just eros?

 

[Matrix_Refugee]

By “practicing yoga”, do you mean she exercises with yoga? If she is simply exercising with yoga, she is likely not involved in the occult! As far as the horoscopes, do they simply read the papers horoscope for fun? Or do they seek out other more indepth horoscope info?

Try talking to her. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Is she even interested in you “that way”?

I read the horoscopes myself, for a daily dose of silly. Half the time, they don’t apply (relationship or business advice that I don’t need: not in a relationship, and I’m a grocery CSR), but the other half, I wonder if the Holy Spirit is speaking to me, as Flannery O’Connor put it, through “things the Church doesn’t approve of.”

 

[fakename]

user "grandfather":

Then why did you write to ask for advice or help to anyone who might respond if you are happy with your condition?

I was just explaining myself as per your question to me.

anyways, now I’m over this whole thing but the emotions need to be sorted out.

To Dakota Roberts: I count sexuality as part of romance, but I always thought that the platonic love aspect was the best part.