In need of advice, prayers from Caregivers

[MarieVeronica]

(Dear Moderators… I wasn’t sure where to put this. I placed it in 3 forums. I hope that is ok. If you need to delete it from any, I understand).

Dear Catholic Answers Forum… I’d like to request your prayers. I’m in great need of them. Tomorrow is my last day on a job I’ve had nearly 8 years. I didn’t want to quit. But felt I had no other choice.

The reason being, that I’ve been left alone with the care of my 85 year old mother… who suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease. I have two sisters, living in another state who aren’t able to assist me. I’ve had a professional caregiving agency in my house… to help out, 2 days a week; the cost for those 2 days was over $1,000.00 a month. The death blow came… when my employer notified me that my health insurance had run out… and since I’m not able to increase my hours at work (because we can’t pay for increased caregiving)… I am no longer eligible for medical coverage with my employer.

I felt my only option, then… was to quit the job and cancel the caregiver… so that I can pay for private coverage. Placing my mother in a nursing home was not an option. She suffers from occasional “agitation”… due to her illness… and I felt she wouldn’t live long, if I had gone that route. She’s been in and out of nursing homes on a rehab basis… and I’ve seen the way that those poor folks are treated by some (didn’t say ALL… but some) of the staff. Those poor elderly folks, are suffering so much. The last time my mother was in a nursing home… she had several falls (while I wasn’t there)… that were suspicious. I love my mother dearly, and I will protect her right to live her life… to it’s natural end.

However, this is going to be a difficult time for me. I’ve been in the workforce since 1977. I’m going to be losing some of my work years, and Social Security “points”, while I’m caring for my mother. (I’m 48 and single. No husband’s support to fall back on).

Is there anyone on this forum… who knows if there are any “rights/benefits” that caregivers can seek from the government? Is there such a thing… as Government Caregiver Benefits?

Thanks in advance.

 

[maryj]

Yes I have some answers for you. I was my mothers primary caregiver for a year. She died this past July. I didn’t actually quit my job, but worked very minimal hours over a 12 month period. First, contact your local social services. There should be a senior services division. They should put you in contact with a social worker. There is something called a senior waiver. Each state , each county could be different. They are allotted a certain amount of money each year. What will happen is this, social services will send out a social worker and a nurse to evaluate your mom. They will ask lots of questions, and based on the social workers evaluation and the medical necessity for care evaluated by the RN your mother will be alotted so many hours of care that the state will pay for. You see sometimes you run into a problem with certain agencys that offer senior in home care, they will not accept self pay. They will only accept medicare or private insurance ( this assures that they will be paid) So my mother was allowed 115 hours of care per week that the county would pay for, we paid $ 115.00 per month to the county for these services. Do the math $115 for 460 hours of in home care, remarkably affordable. Her’s the wringer though, we could be paid by an agency in town that provides in home care. I called around and found an agency called extended family homecare. They hired my niece(who helped take care of my mom) after a background check and a few hours of training, she turned in to the agency a time card and they paid her, the county paid them. Any family member could have participated in this, after having a background check and some training. I chose not to be paid, but instead used the hours to have other people come in and help since I was a bit overwhelmed at times. Then again I have a very undrstanding husband who supported any decisions I made about my mother. I know there are more hours in the week than 115, but you should be able to get paid for a lot of the hours you are helping your mom. It is less expensive for the county to pay you to take care of your mom than for her to go to a nursing home and them having to foot the bill for that( of course I mean us since we are the ones paying taxes for these programs to run. Please feel free to PM me with any questions. I learned a lot taking care of my mom, and am now involved in a caregivers support group that our church is involved in at a local nursing home. God Bless you for having the courage and will to take care of your mother. Even when you are exhausted and feel as though you are about to freak out, know that it will be one of the most rewarding things you will ever do in your life. If you are catholic, (or not), get to Adoration and give it all to Him, He is there waiting for you. I will remember you in my prayers.