In need of advice, prayers from Caregivers

[MarieVeronica]

(Dear Moderators… I wasn’t sure where to put this. I placed it in 3 forums. I hope that is ok. If you need to delete it from any, I understand).

Dear Catholic Answers Forum… I’d like to request your prayers. I’m in great need of them. Tomorrow is my last day on a job I’ve had nearly 8 years. I didn’t want to quit. But felt I had no other choice.

The reason being, that I’ve been left alone with the care of my 85 year old mother… who suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease. I have two sisters, living in another state who aren’t able to assist me. I’ve had a professional caregiving agency in my house… to help out, 2 days a week; the cost for those 2 days was over $1,000.00 a month. The death blow came… when my employer notified me that my health insurance had run out… and since I’m not able to increase my hours at work (because we can’t pay for increased caregiving)… I am no longer eligible for medical coverage with my employer.

I felt my only option, then… was to quit the job and cancel the caregiver… so that I can pay for private coverage. Placing my mother in a nursing home was not an option. She suffers from occasional “agitation”… due to her illness… and I felt she wouldn’t live long, if I had gone that route. She’s been in and out of nursing homes on a rehab basis… and I’ve seen the way that those poor folks are treated by some (didn’t say ALL… but some) of the staff. Those poor elderly folks, are suffering so much. The last time my mother was in a nursing home… she had several falls (while I wasn’t there)… that were suspicious. I love my mother dearly, and I will protect her right to live her life… to it’s natural end.

However, this is going to be a difficult time for me. I’ve been in the workforce since 1977. I’m going to be losing some of my work years, and Social Security “points”, while I’m caring for my mother. (I’m 48 and single. No husband’s support to fall back on).

Is there anyone on this forum… who knows if there are any “rights/benefits” that caregivers can seek from the government? Is there such a thing… as Government Caregiver Benefits?

Thanks in advance.

 

[reen12]

Dear MarieVeronica,

I put the query Alzheimer’s groups into Google,
and found

alz.org/apps/findus.asp

This links to the Altzheimer’s Association website.
You surely have my prayers and my respect.

reen12

 

[stbruno]

I too took care of my mother with Alzheimers. If your mother is ambulatory, consider adult day-care. It was the best thing for us when I was at work. The love and care she received and the peace of mind knowing that she was safe allowed me to not only work enough hours to maintain my health insurance and pay my bills, but also allowed me the ability to go to the dentist, run errands etc. The cost depends on how many days and hours she will be attending. But the daily stimulation in a safe environment, allowed her to have the best days of her life until she no longer could attend. See if your city has a hotline for caregivers. Our city does. Also contact your local Catholic Charities, they may have available information as well. You are in our prayers. And most of all take care of yourself.

 

[MarieVeronica]

Thank you both, very much for your responses. And thanks also, for the link to the Alzheimer’s Association.

I have pretty much run the gammut with them, though. I have called them a few times, looking for assistance… but it seems that all I got was a handful of phone numbers to call. lol. That’s the difficulty. Caregivers don’t have much time for phoning. But I’m grateful, and I will try again.

Unfortunately, Adult Day Care has not been an option for my mother, either. She suffers from occasional “agitation”… and it has been necessary for me at times… to wisk her out of public situations… until she becomes calm again. This would be a problem for me, with another job. I have no “back up” and if she were to become agitated in a social setting, I would undoubtedly be receiving phone calls at work to “come pick her up”. Employers will be tolerant of this… for just so long. This is also why a Nursing Home has not been an option. I strongly feel that elderly with a tendancy toward agitation are often sedated. And I don’t want this, for my mother. I want her to live her life to the fullest.

Well, once again… I truly thank all who may look at this and respond. And your prayers are so greatly appreciated.

And if anyone knows of any government programs… not private (believe me, I’ve run the gammut with these… too)… but government programs… I would be very thankful. God bless.

 

[LDNCatholic]

Thank you both, very much for your responses. And thanks also, for the link to the Alzheimer’s Association.

I have pretty much run the gammut with them, though. I have called them a few times, looking for assistance… but it seems that all I got was a handful of phone numbers to call. lol. That’s the difficulty. Caregivers don’t have much time for phoning. But I’m grateful, and I will try again.

Unfortunately, Adult Day Care has not been an option for my mother, either. She suffers from occasional “agitation”… and it has been necessary for me at times… to wisk her out of public situations… until she becomes calm again. This would be a problem for me, with another job. If she were to become agitated in a social setting, I would undoubtedly be receiving phone calls at work to “come pick her up”. Employers will be tolerant of this… for just so long. This is also why a Nursing Home has not been an option. I strongly feel that elderly with a tendancy toward agitation are often sedated. And I don’t want this, for my mother. I want her to live her life to the fullest.

Well, once again… I truly thank all who may look at this and respond. And your prayers are so greatly appreciated.

And if anyone knows of any government programs… not private (believe me, I’ve run the gammut with these… too)… but government programs… I would be very thankful. God bless.

Your problem is so familiar to my own. My grandmother (same age as your mother) has advanced alzheimer’s, she was ‘‘aggressive’’ and we could never put her in a Nursing home, it didn’t feel right. I wish I could offer advice but things run differently here in England, with various charities as well as the NHS all pitching in and helping us. All I can offer is my prayers.

God Bless

Peter

 

[margya]

Here are couple of other resources for you:

A Catholic Guide to Caring for Your Aging Parent by Monica Dodds. The book is great resource. This website which you will find the book listed on:

fsjc.org/

Margaret