In Need of Encouragement..

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MarieVeronica

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This Sunday morning, when I got up… it was raining. Not hard, but hard enough to hear on the roof. So I listened to the (NOAA) weather report. They called for an 80% chance of rain and thunderstorms in the morning and afternoon. Based on that report… I made the decision NOT to take my mother and I to Mass. This decision is never made lightly, as Sunday Mass is the most important event in the week.

Well, here it is… about 30 minutes later. And the sun is shining brightly! The birds are twittering, and the flowers blooming. Based on the decision I made (not to get us to Mass… because of the weather)… we’ve already had a heavy breakfast… and can not get ready for our regular Mass in time to be there.

It is not an option to go to a later Mass… because my mother is severely disabled, physically. It is only with extreme difficulty that I am able to get her in and out of the Church, and seated in her “usual” pew. Plus, she has Alzheimer’s. “Routine” and “Familiarity” is very important for her. I rely heavily on the kindness and assistance of the ushers at the 10:45 a.m. Mass. People outside of the 10:45 a.m. Sunday Mass… do not know of her limitations, which could be problematic. Nor, do I have anyone who can sit with mother… so that I can get to a later Mass by myself. We are alone.

Logic is telling me that I’ve not committed a sin. Because I made the decision, based on the best information available and our specific circumstances. But my heart is longing to attend Sunday Mass… and the enemy is taking full advantage. And is whispering in my ear “Well, you’ve made another mistake… you dummy. God is gonna be so mad at you for not getting to Mass today”.

I don’t know why I posted all this. I guess I’m just feeling really lousy about the way it turned out. Please pray for me… and all Caregivers. We need your prayers so much. Thank you.
 
quote: MarieVeronica
This Sunday morning, when I got up… it was raining. Not hard, but hard enough to hear on the roof. So I listened to the (NOAA) weather report. They called for an 80% chance of rain and thunderstorms in the morning and afternoon. Based on that report… I made the decision NOT to take my mother and I to Mass. This decision is never made lightly, as Sunday Mass is the most important event in the week.
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Well, here it is… about 30 minutes later. And the sun is shining brightly! The birds are twittering, and the flowers blooming. Based on the decision I made (not to get us to Mass… because of the weather)… we’ve already had a heavy breakfast… and can not get ready for our regular Mass in time to be there…

Logic is telling me that I’ve not committed a sin. Because I made the decision, based on the best information available and our specific circumstances. But my heart is longing to attend Sunday Mass… and the enemy is taking full advantage. And is whispering in my ear “Well, you’ve made another mistake… you dummy. God is gonna be so mad at you for not getting to Mass today”.

I don’t know why I posted all this. I guess I’m just feeling really lousy about the way it turned out. Please pray for me… and all Caregivers. We need your prayers so much. Thank you.

There is so much that I wish to say to you, MarieVeronica.

If I had described to you, what you have described, would
you not assure me that I had made the best decision possible?
I think that you would. Besides, I have a theory. When
plans change, and I feel frustrated, I now stop to think what
God had in mind. Did He know that it was best for me to
be off the road that day? Did He know something that I
don’t know, and was this His way of protecting me?
I have come to think that frustration, in terms of plans,
may indicate that God wanted me not to accomplish
what I had thought to be of value.

God knows what is in our hearts. And I think that He
would like you to rest peacefully in the considered
decision that you made. To have missed the companionship
that attending Mass brings, must hurt a lot.

I can’t remember if I told you this, but my own mother,
who is now 88, is in the advanced stage of Altzheimers.
3 years ago, she lost the ability to stand, or to in any way
help me, when I would help her to get into my car.
I could no longer lift her up. It was because of this
physical limitation that we sought nursing home care for our mother.
Osteoporosis and arthritis were taking their toll on Mom.

You are heroic, in your charity, MarieVeronica.
God must love you very much. I know what you are referring to,
in terms of familiarity and routine. This is why we did not
bring Mom to my sister’s home on Christmas Day, last year.
The noise and the movement of so many people on one
floor would have been upsetting to Mom, at this point.
I am sorry that your mother also has such physical limitation,
and that she has to endure Altzheimers as well.
The fact that your mother hears a familiar, loving voice,
first thing in the morning and last thing at night, is a
gift of unimaginable comfort to her, of that I am sure.
I keep thinking of the word “sacrifice.” Literally, “to make sacred.”
Each hour of each day, that you sacrifice, in care for your mother,
is an hour made sacred. I know that it likely does not feel that way,
yet it is in God’s sight.

I once read one of the psalms, when my parents were far from aged.
It stayed with me, because of the haunting quality of the words:

Do not cast me aside in my old age; as my strength fails, do not forsake me. Ps.71:9

God, please lift up the heart of your faithful servant, MarieVeronica.
Send Your Spirit, to comfort and uphold.
Christ, let her heart know that she cares for You, as she cares for her mother.
“I was elderly and frail. My mind was clouded, and you cared for Me.”
“Come, you blessed of My Kingdom.”

reens
 
MarieVeronica said:
Thank you “SMD”. I felt it appropriate for both forums, in which I posted. God bless.

(Moderators, if we are not permitted to post the same thread in multiple forums… then, I understand if you delete one of them. 🙂 I’m still learning the “ropes” here at CAF).
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If the Moderators feel that this is an issue, I’m sure they’ll let you know … until then, I’d say don’t worry about it 👍

In the meantime, heartfelt prayers for you and all caregivers. May God bless you for taking such good care of your dear mother 🙂 And as for your decision today, you did the best you could with the information that you had available at the time. I’m sure that’s all God requires of us … He knows we can’t see into the future :hug3:
 
Welcome to my World, MarieVeronica -
As someone who is scrupulous the evil has a field day with me on conscience issues.

But I, too, was a caregiver until both my parents passed in recent months. (Both had dementia or Alzheimers) Years back when my Mom was still ambulatory, I wasn’t always as quick to take her to Mass unless she really voiced the desire - I had my own issues and knew she was over the age of reason. So, if there was any sin it was on my soul - not hers. Now that she’s gone, it’s on my conscience - for all the graces she might have derived. But only a family member recalled that I had asked her once if she wanted a priest at home - to which she said no…Mom wasn’t one who wanted to confess to a priest face-to-face, but I’m not sure if that was the issue. I DID, however, get a priest here at home - just prior to her taking more seriously ill - Thank God. She would, in a matter of months stop eating. It was her last Sacramental Communion.

I tell you this - first, as a caregiver with my share of regrets. Second, to tell you - that while you may tell your priest this for your conscience sake, I don’t know if it’s a mortal sin. Talk to your priest - just to ease your own conscience. I know what that’s like. But it sounds like you really planned on making the attempt, despite many obstacles - God bless you. You couldn’t control the weather patterns.
 
** Quoting Morwenna:**​
If the Moderators feel that this is an issue, I’m sure they’ll let you know … until then, I’d say don’t worry about it 👍
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I triple underscore this comment:thumbsup: 👍 👍
In the meantime, heartfelt prayers for you and all caregivers. May God bless you for taking such good care of your dear mother 🙂 And as for your decision today, you did the best you could with the information that you had available at the time. I’m sure that’s all God requires of us … He knows we can’t see into the future :hug3:
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I underscore, MV, that no sin at all is involved, not even imperfection…since your decision was not taken lightly and we just cannot see into the future. There is no sin nor culpable imperfection…merely human limitation. But as another Poster has said, to give your soul, heart and mind complete Peace again mention it to Father in Confession, not as sinful, but as something that just wont go out the mind (if it still will not) as troublesome…The Confessional is truly a source of endless Graces and of The Lord’s all embracing Peace which is His gift to us and we should protect as much as possible. “My Peace I give to you”…not shall give or will give - but “give”.

I also underscore great gratitude and prayer for all caregivers, often it can be a thankless task and the workload massive and all given out of love for the one incapacitated and very often for The Love of God as foundational.

God bless you and richly reward you:thumbsup: …Barb:)
 
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