In RCIA - Having some difficulties with changes

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TickTock

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Hi,

I’m a newbie. A little background so you’ll understand my questions a bit more…

Many spiritual paths in my life. Raised young in Southern Baptist, then to many churches with friends and my mom (post divorce). I went to RC Mass for several years. Almost took the plunge but just couldn’t go through with it knowing I was going to “be” with my boyfriend (I was young), no religion for a while, then after my divorce back to Southern Baptist for a while then nothing, then into New Age / Paganism and Wicca. Note that I was always (since childhood) into Tarot and such (I’m in my early 50’s). I did decide a couple years ago that Wicca just wasn’t for me and went back to what we called “fluff bunny”, still New Age but really into angels (think Doreen Virtue).

A friend and employee died many months ago and at her service (I was afraid the church would fall down if I went it and it didn’t - it was Baptist) the Pastor quoted from John and elaborated that the Bible didn’t say that Jesus was “A” way to God, it was the ONLY way (New Agers think all ways lead to God or the Creator). For some reason this really hit me.

I decided to attempt to go back to church but didn’t care for the evanglistic services of protestant and decided to go to Mass as it was something I enjoyed before and accepted angels. I have been going for many months and have started RCIA (actually our Church calls them Adult Faith).

The past several weeks I’ve been having very strong desires to pull out my Angel cards (I really miss them - I packed all them away and threw out much of that type of stuff), listen to my Angel cd’s. Also, I’ve been questioning if I can really commit to go to Mass every week for the rest of my life - this is scary for me.

I’ve been praying about this but not getting stronger. Do you think this may be a test for me or that Satan is trying to pry his way in or is it that perhaps that the Spirit is trying to tell me that the Catholic faith is not for me?

I don’t know anyone at Church (other than my instructor - who isn’t really very open to conversation) and my few co-students. My Church seems very cold - all the time I’ve been going I think 3 people have said hello.

Sorry for such a long post. I’m just at a loss and don’t know where to go from here.

Thank you!:confused:
 
TickTock said:
I’m just at a loss and don’t know where to go from here.

Thank you!:confused:
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You don’t sound confused, just that you haven’t decided. Tell me if I’m wrong, but you don’t sound like you’ve “caught fire” about Catholicism, except maybe the part about Jesus being The Way.

What is it that you like about Catholicism that you don’t get from the other religions you experimented with.

For that matter, do you feel like there are things you are giving up (other than time for Sunday Mass) by leaving the others?

I’m trying to draw you out as to what motivates you, and what you are looking for your religion to do. Some go to church out of habit, and don’t think much of it. Most are hoping to go to heaven. To me the only real reason I can justify religion is How It Changes ME. I can go through rituals, learn and repeat prayers, do everything right, be participatory in Mass, but none of those things really require change of heart.

How about loving your enemy? Would you like to borrow the mind of Christ for about 10 seconds to learn how to do that? How about the last shall be first? The greatest is the one who serves? We hear these things, we understand these things, we say we believe Jesus said these things, but do we EXPERIENCE these things?

Can you sincerely pray for your enemy – neither for show no yourself, but out of genuine concern for their welfare? Can you sincerely thank God for your afflictions?

These are the types of things I expect to get out of religion, is how to answer the mysteries of life.

Jesus is the Way, but not just heaven after we’re dead but the way to Live “in abundance.” That is accomplished by our become self-mortified into pure poverty. You must lose your life in order to gain it. You must hate your mother and father – how does that square with the fourth commandment? If you ponder these things enough, perhaps the Lord will see fit to open your eyes into “the kingdom” which is here and now, and you can enjoy and share with others on this planet.

So yeah, my suggestion is to 1) hope for everything, but 2) expect nothing – as in do not be discouraged or anxious when things change, and 3) trust that if you seek first the things of the kingdom, all other things will be given to you as well.

Welcome to our faith, and I hope you decide to stay with us. If you do or don’t, I wish you well because you sound very sincere and I can see you’re trying to be very responsible about this. 👍

Alan
 
Alan,

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut and your thought provoking questions.

When I started going back to Mass I felt like I had come home. I wept with joy and sorrow over things I have done. However, I do feel that the lessons I have learned during my trials were needed to come back to the Lord.

Of course I want to get to Heaven some day. Even during my pagan days, I’ve never done or willed harm on anyone (it’s not Wiccan to do so). I am one of the most open, understanding and forgiving people I know (I’m not trying to be prideful just honest). I want to be closer to God. I want to be a better person.

Why Catholic? In my heart I feel it is the true way.

What am I afraid of? Perhaps it is difficult of letting go of things and practices I know and am comfortable with. Maybe a bit of a commitment issue because when I give my word I feel it is everything and if I commit to going through with First Communion and Confirmation (I’m already baptized) I had better mean it - no turning back. Better not to go at all than to slap the Church in the face (for lack of a better term). Also the fear of not being worthy enough if I don’t make it to Mass (after I’ve promised to always go). I realize this is where reconciliation comes in. I guess I’m a perfectionist and in reality I’m a sinner and have to accept that.

Again, thanks, this gives me much to think on.
 
TickTock, Catholics are not known for their friendliness. I love the church and I love being a Roman Catholic. Have heard statements like yours before and have to admit you are correct. Don’t give up on God and His church, you are on the right path. I always look forward to Sunday Mass, not for socialization but because I LOVE JESUS!!!
 
Tick Tock,

It sounds to me as if you misunderstand the nature of Catholic mass. This is not uncommon amongst people who come from Protestant, and particularly fundamentalist, backgrounds. This seems to be the key passage in your post: My Church seems very cold - all the time I’ve been going I think 3 people have said hello.

I fully understand why this might confuse you. I myself am married to a non-Catholic, and at our pre-marriage course, an Angican clergywoman who was part of the proceedings claimed that Catholics do not welcome non-Catholics at their communion. Like you, she completely misunderstood the nature of Catholic communion - at the risk of overstating the case, at a Catholic mass, every congregant is essentially there alone: the communion is between that person alone and God, NOT between the members of the congregation.

You are not going to find an earthly home in the Catholic Church, at least not the kind I suspect you are looking for. What you will find, however, is the way to Heaven. But it’s not an easy road, and you must understand that faith alone is not enough. Ours is an intellectually demanding faith based not just on scripture and the individual’s interpretation of it, but on two thousand years of sacred tradition. We read the two together, and we don’t pick up the Tarot when we’re not getting the answers we want to hear. Likely, when we do something right, there won’t be a lot of our fellow Catholics patting us on the back, reinforcing us. Perhaps that is something we should learn from the Protestant churches, but in truth, despite the accusation we regularly hear from Protstants that we are sheep who blindly obey the magisterium, ours is often the lonliest of the Christian churches.

I hope you find the strength to join us on our journey. God bless you,

Mustard
 
Tick Tock,

Have you spent any time contemplating the mystery of the eucharist? Going to mass for the first couple of times (I am in RCIA, raised Methodist) one of the hardest yet most beautiful things for me to embrace was the reality that the eucharist is Jesus. Viewing mass attendance as a privilege (a chance to see God) might offset some of your uneasiness about being faithful to an obligation to attend. Indeed, for me the only bittersweet part of attending mass is that I cannot fully participate until Easter.🤷

As for feeling like part of the parish community, that has been one of the more difficult aspects of joining RCIA but I am making progress. I started going to the men’s fellowship group and also a DVD series for adult faith formation (all Catholics, not just RCIA). I expect your parish will have similar opportunities (or a neighboring parish will). Volunteering through the parish would also probably be a good way to get connected to the larger community.
 
Mustard said:
Tick Tock,

It sounds to me as if you misunderstand the nature of Catholic mass. This is not uncommon amongst people who come from Protestant, and particularly fundamentalist, backgrounds. This seems to be the key passage in your post: My Church seems very cold - all the time I’ve been going I think 3 people have said hello.

I fully understand why this might confuse you. I myself am married to a non-Catholic, and at our pre-marriage course, an Angican clergywoman who was part of the proceedings claimed that Catholics do not welcome non-Catholics at their communion. Like you, she completely misunderstood the nature of Catholic communion - at the risk of overstating the case, at a Catholic mass, every congregant is essentially there alone: the communion is between that person alone and God, NOT between the members of the congregation.

You are not going to find an earthly home in the Catholic Church, at least not the kind I suspect you are looking for. What you will find, however, is the way to Heaven. But it’s not an easy road, and you must understand that faith alone is not enough. Ours is an intellectually demanding faith based not just on scripture and the individual’s interpretation of it, but on two thousand years of sacred tradition. We read the two together, and we don’t pick up the Tarot when we’re not getting the answers we want to hear. Likely, when we do something right, there won’t be a lot of our fellow Catholics patting us on the back, reinforcing us. Perhaps that is something we should learn from the Protestant churches, but in truth, despite the accusation we regularly hear from Protstants that we are sheep who blindly obey the magisterium, ours is often the lonliest of the Christian churches.

I hope you find the strength to join us on our journey. God bless you,

Mustard
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Boy, no truer words have ever been spoken on this forum. I feel a little bad for new adult converts from other denominations. They are taken aback by the perceived unfriendliness of Catholic congregations. When I was attending Calvary Chapel in So. California many years ago, I was addicted to the social aspects of it. I really felt my spirit lifted there that I do not feel at Mass. But Mass has the authority and gravitas that no non-denom or Protestant church can ever hope to match. I’ve always said, no one goes to Mass for entertainment. We go for the Body and Blood of Christ. You’re right, this is a solitary union of our bodies and souls with our Lord. Catholicism is very internal and Catholic theology is very deep, too deep for most people. But when you begin to understand it, you realize that no other church can take it’s place.

Tick Tock: Catholicism is something you may have to just give it time to grow into. There is nothing quick and easy about it. It’s not “microwave” religion. It’s more like a slow-cooker!

All seriousness aside, 😉 I strongly believe (based on a couple of mystical experiences I’ve had) that the Catholic church is the one our Lord leads us to.
 
TickTock said:
Hi,

I’ve been praying about this but not getting stronger. Do you think this may be a test for me or that Satan is trying to pry his way in or is it that perhaps that the Spirit is trying to tell me that the Catholic faith is not for me?

Sorry for such a long post. I’m just at a loss and don’t know where to go from here.

Thank you!:confused:
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Tick, Some may call me alarmist or over the top but I think its the Evil One trying to pry his way BACK in. THROW AWAY ALL OCCULT ITEMS!!! Get rid of everything. All the CDs, all the New Age books, all the Tarot Cards, etc. Get your Pastor or another priest or deacon to come over and bless your house with holy water. Have him bless some salt and occasionally sprinkle it around the house.

Get a Rosary and start praying it. At the least say the Creed, Our Father, Hail Mary and the Prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel daily. Renounce any relationships with spirits and angels you encountered in the past. Commit yourself to Jesus. I recommend the Consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Establish relationships with your guardian angel, and the Archangels (Michael, Raphael, Gabriel and the four un-named Archangels).

This Dominican website has some excellent homilies on angels and sacramentals angelicwarfareconfraternity.org/2012/10/433/

You must break the hold the practice of witchcraft and other occult activities have over you. The good news is that the Sacraments of Initiation, for which you are preparing, will do this definitively.

I also recommend you say the following prayer:

"Heavenly Father, in the name of your only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, I denounce Satan and all his works, all forms of witchcraft, the use of divination, the practice of sorcery, dealing with mediums, channeling with spirit guides, the Ouija board, astrology, Reiki, hypnosis, automatic writing, horoscopes, numerology, all types of fortune telling, palm readings, levitation, and anything else associated with the occult or Satan. I denounce all of them in the name of Jesus Christ who came in the flesh, and by the power of His cross, His blood and His resurrection, I break their hold over my life.

I confess all these sins before you and ask you to cleanse and forgive me. I ask you Lord Jesus to enter my heart and create in me the kind of person you have intended me to be. I ask you to send forth the gifts of your Holy Spirit to baptize me, just as you baptized your disciples on the day of Pentecost.

I thank you heavenly Father for strengthening my inner spirit with the power of your Holy Spirit, so that Christ may dwell in my heart. Through faith, rooted and grounded in love, may I be able to comprehend with all the saints, the breadth, length, height and depth of Christ’s love which surpasses all knowledge. Amen"

Here is the Prayer to Saint Michael

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle;
be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray:
and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen

As far as the unfriendliness goes, it varies from region to region and parish to parish. I hope you find all of us here at CAF friendly.

Yours with the Love of His Sacred Heart,

Patrick
 
Good grief I feel your pain.

Try another Catholic parish, some can be night and day from others. You want a positive welcoming feeling not negativity and coldness.
 
Respectfully, I disagree with the sentiment that Mass is between only the believer and God. The Catechism talks about the profound unity in the Body of Christ (the whole congregation included with the whole Church and the communion of saints) brought about in communion with Jesus. We come to Mass to worship the Lord in community,it is not an isolated act, but an act of unity with millions of believers. Here are some examples of what the CCC says about it:
1382 The Mass is at the same time, and inseparably, the sacrificial memorial in which the sacrifice of the cross is perpetuated and the sacred banquet of communion with the Lord’s body and blood. But the celebration of the Eucharistic sacrifice is wholly directed toward the intimate union of the faithful with Christ through communion. To receive communion is to receive Christ himself who has offered himself for us.
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1396 The unity of the Mystical Body: the Eucharist makes the Church. Those who receive the Eucharist are united more closely to Christ. Through it Christ unites them to all the faithful in one body - the Church. Communion renews, strengthens, and deepens this incorporation into the Church, already achieved by Baptism. In Baptism we have been called to form but one body.233 The Eucharist fulfills this call: “The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread:”
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1398 The Eucharist and the unity of Christians. Before the greatness of this mystery St. Augustine exclaims, "O sacrament of devotion! O sign of unity! O bond of charity!"237 The more painful the experience of the divisions in the Church which break the common participation in the table of the Lord, the more urgent are our prayers to the Lord that the time of complete unity among all who believe in him may return.
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That being said, I think the difference is that Catholics know that Jesus is present in the Tabernacle-- Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. This is what commands reverential silence. Scripture says, “Be still and know that I am God”. For 2,000 years Jesus has been present to Catholics in this real and profound way and I think this is why people aren’t spending a lot of time on chit chat before or during Mass. Still, most parishioners need a sense of fellowship and unity- it is what makes us feel like we are family. We need to feel loved and welcome. That is why there are so many opportunities outside of the Mass-- Bible studies, Knights of Columbus, helping the poor, taking communion to the sick, etc, etc. Here is where Catholics show the love of Christ they have within them to each other and to the world. This is what I recommend for the OP-- get involved with one of these groups and see how it goes. I think you might see your parish and Catholics differently if you do. However, if you still feel it is cold, go ahead and try another parish. You should be comfortable in your parish.

PS. There’s no excuse for Catholics to be unfriendly. A smile and nod or “good morning” are just good manners. Jesus certainly wants us to be kind to each other.
 
I don’t think the Holy Spirit would try and tell you that the Catholic faith wasn’t for you. 😉 BUT… if this RCIA isn’t working out for you, maybe there is another you could attend at another parish. I, too, used to be Wiccan and there was a lot I didn’t grasp about Catholicism before the RCIA classes, and then once I truly opened my heart and mind, that’s when it all started to really sink in. My prayers are with you!
 
TickTock said:
Hi,

I’m a newbie. A little background so you’ll understand my questions a bit more…

Many spiritual paths in my life. Raised young in Southern Baptist, then to many churches with friends and my mom (post divorce). I went to RC Mass for several years. Almost took the plunge but just couldn’t go through with it knowing I was going to “be” with my boyfriend (I was young), no religion for a while, then after my divorce back to Southern Baptist for a while then nothing, then into New Age / Paganism and Wicca. Note that I was always (since childhood) into Tarot and such (I’m in my early 50’s). I did decide a couple years ago that Wicca just wasn’t for me and went back to what we called “fluff bunny”, still New Age but really into angels (think Doreen Virtue).

A friend and employee died many months ago and at her service (I was afraid the church would fall down if I went it and it didn’t - it was Baptist) the Pastor quoted from John and elaborated that the Bible didn’t say that Jesus was “A” way to God, it was the ONLY way (New Agers think all ways lead to God or the Creator). For some reason this really hit me.

I decided to attempt to go back to church but didn’t care for the evanglistic services of protestant and decided to go to Mass as it was something I enjoyed before and accepted angels. I have been going for many months and have started RCIA (actually our Church calls them Adult Faith).

The past several weeks I’ve been having very strong desires to pull out my Angel cards (I really miss them - I packed all them away and threw out much of that type of stuff), listen to my Angel cd’s. Also, I’ve been questioning if I can really commit to go to Mass every week for the rest of my life - this is scary for me.

I’ve been praying about this but not getting stronger. Do you think this may be a test for me or that Satan is trying to pry his way in or is it that perhaps that the Spirit is trying to tell me that the Catholic faith is not for me?

I don’t know anyone at Church (other than my instructor - who isn’t really very open to conversation) and my few co-students. My Church seems very cold - all the time I’ve been going I think 3 people have said hello.

Sorry for such a long post. I’m just at a loss and don’t know where to go from here.

Thank you!:confused:
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I suggest making an appointment to speak with your priest and also trying to get involved in the parish. You should have been provided with a sponsor which can be a great help as well.

ncregister.com/blog/jennifer-fulwiler/we-need-to-talk-to-converts-about-spiritual-attack
 
I was not provided with a sponsor. When I signed up for the class I was told they would help me find one, “not to worry”.

First night of class we were told we had to find our own. When I asked what to do if we knew no Catholic’s in good standing I was told it was our problem. She told us we could ask people in the church (right - the ones that don’t talk and rudely walk directly out of church the minute after they receive the Euchurist - not kidding half the Perish walks out and surprisingly to me it is the senior members that do this).

It so happens, I did know someone and already have the sponsor form. This is someone I hold in very high regard although don’t socialize with on a personal level.
 
TickTock said:
I was not provided with a sponsor. When I signed up for the class I was told they would help me find one, “not to worry”.

First night of class we were told we had to find our own. When I asked what to do if we knew no Catholic’s in good standing I was told it was our problem. She told us we could ask people in the church (right - the ones that don’t talk and rudely walk directly out of church the minute after they receive the Euchurist - not kidding half the Perish walks out and surprisingly to me it is the senior members that do this).

It so happens, I did know someone and already have the sponsor form. This is someone I hold in very high regard although don’t socialize with on a personal level.
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None of this is making any sense. The Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults is the standard method of coming into the Church as an adult in the United States. That your parish calls this something else and seems to run a different process makes no sense.

What diocese are you in?
 
The past several weeks I’ve been having very strong desires to pull out my Angel cards (I really miss them - I packed all them away and threw out much of that type of stuff), listen to my Angel cd’s. Also, I’ve been questioning if I can really commit to go to Mass every week for the rest of my life - this is scary for me.
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Put that way, it scares me too!

Don’t worry about it. Plan for the next Mass. After that, then the next. Don’t “worry” about going to any Mass other than the one which is next- perhaps a mountain will fall on you and you wouldn’t have needed too anyway! Don’t think of it as some looming requirement. If/when it becomes a joyful, beautiful encounter you can’t live without, it won’t be so scary. When I’m feeling as you are- as it’s some big commitment- I just worry about THIS coming Sunday, never mind the one thereafter 🙂
 
Thanks to all for your feedback. Another thing that I wanted to share is the week before last was a “fair” with tables set up for different groups to check out. I went to 3 tables. Two said hello and then started talking to someone else. The other was my teacher and when I stopped to say hello and mentioned that I was checking to see what was being offered she mumbled huh huh and turned her back and ignored me.

I do not wish this to come across as a bashing to this particular Church. I like that it is close to home, that they have masses in English convenient for me (most here only have limited English - rest are Spanish), it is very casual (which shocked me since it had been 30 years since I was at Mass and things were much more formal) but I have learned to like the casual nature. Two of the 3 Priests and both the Deacons give wonderful and meaningful homilies. I don’t necessarily need to make friends there, but I would expect some support, especially during a time of making such an important decision about my faith.
 
Tick Tock, Expect nothing, don’t assume anything, and don’t take things personally. Trust in the Lord with all your being. When you feel rejected it hurts, I know. Now I just smile and thank God that I feel the rejection that our Blessed Lord felt when He walked this earth. I must answer to the Lord the way I treat others, not the way they treat me. Would be nice if things were different, but I have learned to accept all with thanksgiving. Jesus loves me this I know.
 
DaddyGirl said:
I thought Catholics believed in angels?
If so, what is wrong with looking at cards of angels?
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DG, We do believe in angels; those in the service of God and those that have fallen (Lucifer and his minions). Catholic angel cards are fine. But given TickTocks background and the fact that she said she was pulling out her ‘old’ angel cards I recommended that she jettison the old cards she had because they were acquired while she was studying withcraft and, in my opinion, likely fallen angels in the service of Lucifer. Additionally, in the words of Father Tom White, “The angels are not at the heart of the Christian mystery. Christ is at the heart.” Tick needs to focus on Jesus. I think the forces of darkness are working overtime to keep her involved in witchcraft and the occult and prevent her from becoming part of Jesus’ Church: one, holy, catholic and apostolic.

Here is a link to Father White’s homily on angels angelicwarfareconfraternity.org/2012/10/433/

Saint Michael the Archangel, protect the Catechumenate from the snares of the Devil. Help them see their way through to full Communion with the Church!

Yours in the Love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
Patrick
 
TickTock said:
The past several weeks I’ve been having very strong desires to pull out my Angel cards (I really miss them - I packed all them away and threw out much of that type of stuff), listen to my Angel cd’s. Also, I’ve been questioning if I can really commit to go to Mass every week for the rest of my life - this is scary for me.

I’ve been praying about this but not getting stronger. Do you think this may be a test for me or that Satan is trying to pry his way in
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Short answer: YES!!!

Long answer: Not so much a test as an attack. The closer you get to God the harder satan will work on you. Do not doubt, you are under attack. You have been called by the Holy Spirit, don’t turn back. I have had similar experiences recently. Satan is throwing everything at me but the kitchen sink. I have been shaken and feel very weak. Thoughts are arising, “I don’t think I can take much more”, “what’s going to happen next?”, “what if this, what if that?”. Shhhh! Quiet your mind. Get in tune with the Holy Spirit, that very instant when you were called back into the church. Hold on for dear life, your resolve will strengthen. Dive into scripture. Occupy your mind with all things Godly. Read, pray, talk about it with others as you are doing here. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you don’t have to be perfect. Don’t leave yourselve alone with your thoughts for too long. Don’t worry about who’s nice to you in church, that is not why you’re there. Perhaps volunteer for something. I started going to the nursing home with a group once a week and we pray the rosary. It seemed like it would be weird but, oh, it’s very fulfilling.

I will pray for you, please keep us updated! Oh yeah, get rid of the cards and CDs. Don’t worry about if you’ll feel like going to church every week…just go step by step. God will provide everything you need and He will lead you exactly where you are supposed to be. You’ll see. Trust, have faith.
 
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