In so much pain

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wkj_123

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Hello everyone. Here is part of my story and the problems I am going through. It all started a few years back when I read some Bible verses that really scared me. I was afraid I couldn’t be forgiven and these fears became so bad that I spent some time in the hospital. I have always seen myself as someone who should get married and have a happy loving family. Eight months ago I met a beautiful woman and we then after fell in love. We then began to plan our wedding. During this time I had stopped trying anything with religion. Now I started to turn things around and get back to God but those old thoughts and worries came back. I started to think well what if God doesn’t want me to get married and what if its wrong to get married and not live single. I was dealing with these thoughts and trying to discern and then I began to think if you don’t stop going ahead with this relationship you wont go to heaven stuff like that. Im now trerrified and stuck at a stand still. Every time I want to hang out with her I have these thoughts and im terrified of going to hell. We have decided to live a chaste life but I still keep thinging hang out with her and your not going to heaven because your not doing what God wants. I don’t want to go against Gods will I just want to be sure of everything. I don’t know how to tell what the thoughts im having are. Thank you
 
Just remember, God will forgive everyone no matter what. What was Judas’ fault? He never repented, but Peter denied Jesus three times and asked for forgiveness and Jesus forgave him. God created us for marriage, he created man and woman to be a couple and love each other.

Genesis 2:22-24
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ’ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

God created man and women for each other. You need to pray hard asking God to reveal His will for you. Ask Him to help you understand His will. Do not give up, but keep an open mind and open heart. You might want to talk to your pastor about this issue, I am sure he can help you more than I can. Just remember God will always forgive you as long as you ask for forgiveness.
 
Sounds a little like scrupulosity, and maybe some OCD. You should speak to your priest about this, and maybe a doctor as well.
 
You need some professional help for these intrusive thoughts and anxiety related issues.
 
I experienced similar fears once, but when I did some soul searching I discovered it wasn’t God that wasn’t holding me back. There were a lot of issues in my past which I had never dealt with, just buried hurts and angers that would resurface every time I tried to move forward in my life. It’s got more to do with anxiety and self esteem and a feeling of undeserved happiness. Believe me when I tell you it is not God who does not want for you to be happy and have a good life because He does and it has nothing to do with deserving.

try to stop the negative thinking and allow yourself a little happiness before you throw it all away. Personal counseling should help you find that obstacle and remove it.

Good luck and God bless
 
wkj_123 said:
Hello everyone. Here is part of my story and the problems I am going through. It all started a few years back when I read some Bible verses that really scared me. I was afraid I couldn’t be forgiven and these fears became so bad that I spent some time in the hospital. I have always seen myself as someone who should get married and have a happy loving family. Eight months ago I met a beautiful woman and we then after fell in love. We then began to plan our wedding. During this time I had stopped trying anything with religion. Now I started to turn things around and get back to God but those old thoughts and worries came back. I started to think well what if God doesn’t want me to get married and what if its wrong to get married and not live single. I was dealing with these thoughts and trying to discern and then I began to think if you don’t stop going ahead with this relationship you wont go to heaven stuff like that. Im now trerrified and stuck at a stand still. Every time I want to hang out with her I have these thoughts and im terrified of going to hell. We have decided to live a chaste life but I still keep thinging hang out with her and your not going to heaven because your not doing what God wants. I don’t want to go against Gods will I just want to be sure of everything. I don’t know how to tell what the thoughts im having are. Thank you
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Hi, I’m sorry that you are in pain. Can you specify, do you think that God is not calling you to marry, but you want to marry anyway? Why/why not? Remember that God doesn’t scare us into anything… whatever His will is, He invites us to it. What I mean by He doesn’t scare us, is not that there are no consequences of anything, but that He would rather us focus on Him when we’re trying to make a decision, and focus on Him with trust that He would help us, not being so anxious. He is patient and wants to help us find the right decision. Why do you feel you are not called to marriage? Everyone has a different vocation… like in the Catholic Church, some people are called to be priests or religious. Marriage is also a vocation. Maybe the reasons why you feel so, you can talk about them with someone. Even if you are not Catholic, you can still talk to a Catholic priest and he might be able to help you figure this out 🙂 God bless and praying for you!
 
Well I have always wanted to get married. I guess I never thought of it as a vocation before looking into the Catholic Church. As far as being called I don’t feel called to the religious life, at least I don’t think I am. I think the fear is that since I personally happen to want marriage Im afraid of what if it is only my want not Gods if it makes sense. Its almost like im skeptical that mine and Gods will would line up so perfectly. I want to serve him, im just a sinner, so usually a lot of things I desire don’t line up with the Bible, thus the reason for the skepticism.
 
also me and my girlfriend have decided to live a chaste life, so that isn’t really the deterrent either.
 
Tomorrow is the feast of Divine Mercy 🙂

this devotion has given me a lot of comfort when I felt scared or distrustful of God’s mercy… of course, God’s Mercy doesn’t mean that we should sin. But Jesus told St Faustina, the more a person trusts, the more they will receive, so if you trust Him, you would be able to receive more grace to know His plan for you, and to feel less anxiety and more peace of mind 🙂 try to trust Him and not be afraid, but simply seek His will. Remember He is so loving and doesn’t want to punish you, but just to lead you and help you, and He is very patient.

Take a look 🙂 ewtn.com/devotionals/mercy/

These are also beautiful words from Jesus: tanbooks.com/doct/divine_mercy.htm

Try to open up and trust God, this can help a lot 🙂 God bless you!
 
Also, please try to keep in mind that if God didn’t want to you to get married, you would have never met this woman in the first place, you wouldn’t have gotten engaged either. He also gives us free will, since when is it a sin to fall in love and get married? Do you honestly think that if you have a good life on earth that you won’t go to heaven?
 
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