In the closet: Right or wrong?

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What do you mean by “hide” it? If you mean lie or attempt to defraud someone, then yes, it would be immoral. But if you mean keeping one’s personal sexual attractions private, there is nothing immoral about that. It’s not anyone’s business.
 
Linux said:
Is it immoral for people to hide their same sex attractions?
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I think it depends in part on whom one is hiding from. If lying to co-workers for practical reasons is the main issue, I think one may be able to deflect discussion of personal issues without twisting the truth. With (close) friends, this may be more difficult as well as less desirable. OTOH, if one tries to hide SSA from one’s spouse and family, not only might this be painful and damaging to oneself and family but also possibly immoral since one is cheating by pretending to be a person they are not: for example, being married and fantasizing about a same-sex partner. Then, if one also acts on their fantasies in reality or virtual reality, that is just compounding the problem.
 
If a person suffers from SSA and does not act upon it, what would be the point of telling anyone? I don’t go around telling people about my temptations, except my confessor or someone from whom I might ask advice.

I don’t see SSA as being so much of a person that they are withholding anything from someone if they don’t tell them. We are so much more than our sexual impulses.

However, if someone had strong inclinations in the SS direction, it would be necessary to tell someone of the opposite sex *with whom they were considering marriage, *if that were to happen, but if it weren’t, and people asked, one could simply say that one did not feel called to the married state.
 
same sex attraction is like being filthy rich, in regard to the flaunting of.

If you were rich that would not be a sin, but, if you flaunted it, and made it knowen to all in every asspect then it would be wrong. and from that you drew others in and brought them to be able to flaunt all as they too were alowed to live lives devoid of charity towards others. Lets call it a Gay’ol time for all…
The taking of something thats not a sin, and by mere flaunting of, but more so ruination of others to do whats not right is what makes it wrong…
Its soo cut and dried that being of all natures is a reality, the church recognizes this for a reality and fact, and not a sin. but people cant grasp that they make it a sin by mere flaunting it and promoting the part that is a sin .

Few people, expecially the poor and down trodden care to hear the rich flaunt their extravigances and self indulgences, and same sex attractions should consider the same common mind.
 
I don’t see why one would need to disclose same-sex attraction if it is not being acted upon. I don’t openly share with everyone the things that I have a weakness for, nor do I openly share any of the sexual urges or thoughts that might go through my mind. Presumably, neither do you. I don’t know why we would expect the same of anyone else, personally.
 
In answer to your question, it’s not immoral to keep your sexual orientation to yourself. But
in response to some who posted comments about SSA, it is much more than sexual impulses.

We all have a strong desire to love and be loved in return, and this affect an individual at various stages of life and in relationship with others, it’s that way that we discover who we are, or rather, what kind of person God wants us to be. But like I said, this happens when
a person is loved and appreciated by others. Those suffering from SSA, in general, need love and compassion, because they’re hurt. And this isn’t about sexual impulses at all, it’s important to not confuse love with lust. Love in being included, treated equally and not emphasising on SSA, because this is just creating a void, a new wound.

It seems like a person suffering from SSA, need to be attracted by the examples of others. Someone of the same-sex, but that can only be achieved if it’s in a good environment. God always gives present leads in life, and this is His answer in what we’re looking for.

We have to trust what is deepest in our heart, filled by God’s love, and take one step at a time. I hope my answer help a few people.
 
It is never wrong to keep from others what they have no right to know. Even a spouse need not know if it makes no difference to the marriage. SSA attraction isn’t fatal nor is it absolute. Just like any other temptation to do what we shouldn’t it can be conquered with God’s help. It doesn’t mean the temptation will vanish–still the more one practices virtue the less one is drawn in temptation to do wrongful things. One needs to guard one’s thoughts, what one allows oneself to see and do, but that’s what we all must do when tempted by any sin, sexual or otherwise.
 
Corki said:
What do you mean by “hide” it? If you mean lie or attempt to defraud someone, then yes, it would be immoral. But if you mean keeping one’s personal sexual attractions private, there is nothing immoral about that. It’s not anyone’s business.
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this.

Someone who is asked why they aren’t dating or married could either state their desire to not discuss the subject or say simply that they are a “confirmed bachelor(ette)”.
 
I think the immoral ones are the people who make people with SSA afraid to come out of the closet.
 
Poseidon said:
I think the immoral ones are the people who make people with SSA afraid to come out of the closet.
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Yes, the Church tells us to honor the dignity of every person. All of us are sinners of one type or another, being gay is not, in and of itself, sinful no more than is being heterosexual. However, homosexuality is considered a disorder–one that the person is not morally responsible for having unless he cultivates his disorder–like having a proclivity towards alcoholism.

As far as the Church is concerned only acting on immoral use of sex that is wrong for either homosexuals or heterosexuals–this includes deliberately fantasizing about sex of any kind, so it’s more than mere outward acts, but inward dispostion that matters, as well.
 
Della said:
It is never wrong to keep from others what they have no right to know. Even a spouse need not know if it makes no difference to the marriage. SSA attraction isn’t fatal nor is it absolute. Just like any other temptation to do what we shouldn’t it can be conquered with God’s help. It doesn’t mean the temptation will vanish–still the more one practices virtue the less one is drawn in temptation to do wrongful things. One needs to guard one’s thoughts, what one allows oneself to see and do, but that’s what we all must do when tempted by any sin, sexual or otherwise.
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Except it will, it alters how you interact with people on a fairly basic level, people who are “normal” just don’t have a need to think of why they think something.
 
“Coming out of the closet” is a political construct of the gay lobby.

There’s no reason to think of this temptation as fundamentally different than 1,000 others, except that the gay lobby expends so much effort trying to make us think that this condition is absolutely special, unique and praiseworthy.

You could be tempted to try to have sex with sheep, certainly some people have had that problem, but since there’s no sheep-sexing lobby, nobody will pressure you to “come out of the closet” on that one.
 
Dakota_Roberts said:
Except it will, it alters how you interact with people on a fairly basic level, people who are “normal” just don’t have a need to think of why they think something.
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It only alters your interaction with people if you let it alter you. It can be conquered, just like any other temptation. That’s my point. 🙂
 
Is it wrong for people to force people with SSA to accept an openly Gay identity?
 
Della said:
It only alters your interaction with people if you let it alter you. It can be conquered, just like any other temptation. That’s my point. 🙂
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Except your attractions alter how you interact at a very low level.
 
Dakota_Roberts said:
Except your attractions alter how you interact at a very low level.
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They certainly may do that. They may do more than that if not heeded and dealt with. But a spouse need not know if the one with the SSA attraction can deal with it so that it doesn’t adversely affect their marriage. It might be good for the spouse to know so s/he can understand what kinds of struggles his/her spouse might have, but it’s not essential that a spouse know unless it’s too difficult to keep the marriage intact. Not all persons with SSA have the same level of attraction and can live with it quite successfully within a regular marriage.
 
Is it wrong for people to force people with SSA to accept an openly Gay identity?
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Yes, quite wrong. I presume you mean “outing”. It is an invasion of privacy. It opens up the person to abuse of many kinds on many levels, and I don’t mean from rednecks.
 
Della said:
They certainly may do that. They may do more than that if not heeded and dealt with. But a spouse need not know if the one with the SSA attraction can deal with it so that it doesn’t adversely affect their marriage. It might be good for the spouse to know so s/he can understand what kinds of struggles his/her spouse might have, but it’s not essential that a spouse know unless it’s too difficult to keep the marriage intact. Not all persons with SSA have the same level of attraction and can live with it quite successfully within a regular marriage.
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Do all these opinions exist solely in the mind of the person who expressses them or do they have some basis in reality, because what you say seems to contradict common sense. Stick with what the Catechism says about homosexual persons, don’t make up fairy tales. If being heterosexual was an abomination to God I don’t see myself being able to muster the will and desire to do the marital embrace with a man, my compassion and respect for homosexual persons do not go that far. I’m pretty positive sexual orientation is in most cases deep-seated and cannot be removed/put on as you would a wind-breaker.
 
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