In the workplace

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McCall1981

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I work in a office where we have staff meetings once a week for around 6 people, and during the meetings, the conversation will sometimes veer off topic and has touched on religion (I work for a public organization, so there’s no reason for religion to come up at all). A couple of times now there have been some dismissive comments made about Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular.

It’s nothing too blatently offensive, just kind of an implied disdain, but it’s enough to get me feeling down. Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions for how to deal with this kind of thing, and how to keep from letting it get to me.
 
McCall1981 said:
I work in a office where we have staff meetings once a week for around 6 people, and during the meetings, the conversation will sometimes veer off topic and has touched on religion (I work for a public organization, so there’s no reason for religion to come up at all). A couple of times now there have been some dismissive comments made about Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular.

It’s nothing too blatently offensive, just kind of an implied disdain, but it’s enough to get me feeling down. Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions for how to deal with this kind of thing, and how to keep from letting it get to me.
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Tell them that it offends you, and for them to put themselves in your place and imagine how they would like it.
 
Do you think your coworkers may not know that you are Catholic? Alot of people make these kinds of comments when they think they have kindred spirits around that will appreciate their enlightenedness. These same people would be loathe to say the same comment if they knew there were people present who would be offended. I was once car pooling with coworkers to a funeral and one woman who I did not know told me that she had a real problem with Catholics. I told her I was Catholic and asked if I could be of any assistance with her problems. Suddenly, she couldn’t quite recall what her problem was. She finally managed to spit out something along the lines of, “Well I don’t really have a problem with Catholic people, but I just don’t believe in what they believe.” The best thing to do in such a situation is to give the offending individuals a polite hint. “Hey, my family really enjoyed the homily at Mass this Sunday.” or “I’ve been thinking of joining the Knights of Columbus.” or, “Boy I’m tired. I got up extra early and went to daily Mass at St. Catherine’s Catholic Church before I came to work this morning.” This method preserves the offenders dignity while giving them a headsup so they don’t say anything that will embarrass them too much.

Now, if you think they are intentionally baiting you or giving you a hard time, I would find a polite way to express that it is unappreciated. “Hey, that’s not cool.” “Way to be unecessarily offensive, John.” “You know I’m Catholic right.” “Guys, this isn’t really appropriate conversation in the workplace.” Something along those lines that will work with the individuals you work with.
 
Or you could just read up and blow their minds. That’s what I plan to do in Social Issues this year. 😃
 
McCall1981 said:
I work in a office where we have staff meetings once a week for around 6 people, and during the meetings, the conversation will sometimes veer off topic and has touched on religion (I work for a public organization, so there’s no reason for religion to come up at all). A couple of times now there have been some dismissive comments made about Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular.

It’s nothing too blatently offensive, just kind of an implied disdain, but it’s enough to get me feeling down. Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions for how to deal with this kind of thing, and how to keep from letting it get to me.
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Well having the years of experience shooting off my mouth in defense of our religion, I can assure you, it doesn’t work.

Silent humility, until asked for your opinion is the far better option.

Remember, although they’re critical of religion, especially Christianity/Catholicism, they’re searching. Nothing moves them further away than what they precieve as “in your face religion.”

Jim
 
McCall1981 said:
I work in a office where we have staff meetings once a week for around 6 people, and during the meetings, the conversation will sometimes veer off topic and has touched on religion (I work for a public organization, so there’s no reason for religion to come up at all). A couple of times now there have been some dismissive comments made about Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular.

It’s nothing too blatantly offensive, just kind of an implied disdain, but it’s enough to get me feeling down. Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions for how to deal with this kind of thing, and how to keep from letting it get to me.
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You offer no context about how the topic arises nor what comments are made … so its hard to offer concrete advice IMHO

I am an active practicing Christian - Catholic … one would be hard pressed to spend a day with me and not know that - not because I necessarily proclaim that - overtly … however I pray before every meal - alone or in the presence of others whether at home, work, or restaurant - any where - every where … even if grabbing a bite - fast food - in the car. My faith is central to me …

When I began a new job a couple of years ago - a co-worker with in a short time informed me that the Church did not consider them as a valid person or their life of value - something like that. In any case I knew that they felt they had been badly treated by the Church … I looked them in the eye and told them I was sorry they felt that way - that the people who comprised the Church at times failed to live the Gospel values and had hurt people - and many times people were hurt … after that I was careful to not provide any reason to cause them to feel uncomfortable … I did not change who I was or how I act in any real way … but I was conscious of their feelings and hurt. We respect each other

A year later when my spouse died - that person [who had also lost a spouse - some 10 years earlier] has provided me great friendship and support in the work place. Not every one in our work unit even knows that they were ever married - let alone that they had lost a spouse - yet they shared that with me …

I am a Christian - it is who I am … when someone asks me a question about my faith I answer - but I do not proselytize - I live my faith
 
Allegra said:
Do you think your coworkers may not know that you are Catholic? Alot of people make these kinds of comments when they think they have kindred spirits around that will appreciate their enlightenedness. These same people would be loathe to say the same comment if they knew there were people present who would be offended. I was once car pooling with coworkers to a funeral and one woman who I did not know told me that she had a real problem with Catholics. I told her I was Catholic and asked if I could be of any assistance with her problems. Suddenly, she couldn’t quite recall what her problem was. She finally managed to spit out something along the lines of, “Well I don’t really have a problem with Catholic people, but I just don’t believe in what they believe.” The best thing to do in such a situation is to give the offending individuals a polite hint. “Hey, my family really enjoyed the homily at Mass this Sunday.” or “I’ve been thinking of joining the Knights of Columbus.” or, “Boy I’m tired. I got up extra early and went to daily Mass at St. Catherine’s Catholic Church before I came to work this morning.” This method preserves the offenders dignity while giving them a headsup so they don’t say anything that will embarrass them too much.

Now, if you think they are intentionally baiting you or giving you a hard time, I would find a polite way to express that it is unappreciated. “Hey, that’s not cool.” “Way to be unecessarily offensive, John.” “You know I’m Catholic right.” “Guys, this isn’t really appropriate conversation in the workplace.” Something along those lines that will work with the individuals you work with.
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I’ve mentioned that I’m Catholic to my boss, but I guess I should do so again. It just feels out of place to bring it up most of the time, because the majority of the time we’re just talking about work. I don’t want to create a problem so it’s usually easier to just be quiet. I suppose I should just try to mention mass or something else obviously Catholic to get the point across more.

I guess I’m trying to find the line between not causing a problem and not denying who I am either.
 
Seems to me that if your company’s staff meetings allow time for chitchat and expression of religious likes and dislikes, they’re not the most productive use of the workers’ time.

I’d try to get the meeting back on task, even if I were not in charge of it. In part, that’s because I always have a heck of a lot of paperwork burying my desk, and spending even five minutes nonproductively away from my own worksite galls me no end. i’m not much of an evangelist, and probably would not attempt it in the workplace. I believe that one would have had to have been raised by wolves to not realize that there actually is a Catholic Church, and that if they are interested in finding out more about it, they have plenty of resources available. If asked, I would be happy to point those out, and even contact them for the person.

I also dislike being prosyletyzed in the workplace, and went to Human Resources when a fundamentalist Protestant colleague insisted on asking me repeatedly over a period of several weeks if I believed in Jesus Christ.

I do like the idea of making it pretty obvious that I’m Catholic. I’ve found that I don’t have to get too far off the chain to ensure this: I usually wear a crucifix necklace. In fact, that’s what tipped off my fundamentalist colleague that I was Catholic, and sparked his chronic diatribes. Similarly I like the idea of putting coworkers on notice that I find their insinuations about the Church offensive and that their comments are violating my rights to a harassment-free work site.

It’s funny, in an odd sort of way: Mainstream Christian denominations, and especially the Catholic Church, seem to be the last socially acceptable targets of bigotry in the United States today. Let’s hope that the upcoming end times are limited to snotty remarks and missed promotional opportunities.

I once requested time off for the purpose of attending Mass on a holy day of obligation. My supervisor was hesitant to give me the time off. So I put it in writing, and in the section of the form which calls for the reason for the request, wrote in big block capitals–“Religious observation–Catholic Holy Day of Obligation,” and presented her with the signed request. After reading the form, she signed it immediately without even checking whether staffing was adequate to accommodate the request.

Hey, we’re the Church Militant: Don’t give up the good fight, and use the enemy’s own institutions to strike a blow at him. In the scenario I described above, both the Diversity Coordinator and the department head would have been in serious trouble if they did not give permission for me to take the morning off and attend Mass.

If you feel that you are being harassed in any way for your faith, if your company is large enough to have a human resources department, contact them. You’re entitled to a non-hostile work environment.
 
McCall1981 said:
I’ve mentioned that I’m Catholic to my boss, but I guess I should do so again. It just feels out of place to bring it up most of the time, because the majority of the time we’re just talking about work. I don’t want to create a problem so it’s usually easier to just be quiet. I suppose I should just try to mention mass or something else obviously Catholic to get the point across more.

I guess I’m trying to find the line between not causing a problem and not denying who I am either.
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If some one slaps you on the left cheek, offer him the other.

These are Jesus words in the attitude we’re to express in situations such as yours.

If it bothers enough, just excuse yourself from the room.

If you confront them or your boss about it, it will make it worse, not better, I can assure you.

Like I said, I’ve had over 35 years of experience dealing with situations such as you’re going through. I handled it in the way you suggested, and it made it worse, not better.

People hate in your face religion and that’s what they’ll see it as, because they have no sensitivity toward the beliefs of Christians.

So, again, my advice, remain silent and humble.

Jim
 
If it is an isolate comment here and there, I would pray for patience and the people who made the comment.

If it is one or two people that are always making degradding remark about the church, I would tell them in private ‘I totally respect your opinion on religion and don’t wish to preach. However, I am Catholic and I was wondering if possible, when I am in the room if we could please not discuss religion’

That way you are not making them feel they should change but you are showing you are Catholic

CM
 
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