Incident at Mass recently - how to handle if it happens again

[retire_early]

Sounds like the disabled boy has been trained by a lot of “o-o-ooh-let-me-show-love-to-the-disabled-boy-by-giving-him-a-handshake / hug-on-my-way-up-to-Holy Communion” types.

His mom would probably appreciate it MORE if you did that at the appropriate Greeting Of Peace time in the Mass, or after Mass, and thereby helping the boy learn the correct behaviors for the various parts of the Mass.

How about the people in line for Holy Communion who are suffering from arthritis, rheumatism, shingles, balance problems, vision loss, etc.? Do they need someone who lacks astute judgement, tugging at their arm, possibly throwing them off balance or causing pain? Not to mention people who may have limited tolerance about people unexpectedly startling, grabbing or touching them (autistic spectrum, etc.) ?

I am astounded by the number of so-called Catholics responding to Miss Rose73 who immediately had to chastise and berate her, including two who called themselves Deacons! Unbelievable! And the person who cited a previous post in a completely different thread by Miss Rose73 to try to belittle her is just beyond the pale.

As the third-grade teacher used to say, “Go stand in the corner!”:tsktsk:

 

[runningdude]

Kids with Downs are often affectionate and joyous. We can learn something from them.

I don’t disagree, and while minor social mistakes should be overlooked, it doesn’t help to actively encourage them to disregard social norms. They just want to fit in, and we should both help and accept them.

 

[paperwight66]

I don’t disagree, and while minor social mistakes should be overlooked, it doesn’t help to actively encourage them to disregard social norms. They just want to fit in, and we should both help and accept them.

That’s it absolutely in a nut-shell.

Of COURSE nobody wants to be unkind.

But if lessons need to be learnt, then someone has to teach and reinforce them, not undermine them for the sake of warm fuzzies.

 

[Graceejou]

I went to Mass yesterday morning. As I was going for Holy Communion, a teenage boy with a mental disability (Downs) kept trying to grab my arm - he was sitting in an aisle seat and was alone while his mother received Communion. I thought he would have known my posture of head down and hands folded meaning to not disturb me (which is my normal way of going up to receive Communion). The young man then tried to grab my right arm several times to get me to shake hands with him like he was able to do with several others in the line. I gently pushed his arm away several times before I was out of his reach to go receive Communion.

How should I handle it if it happens again? Should I approach his mother who certainly does her best to make him behave himself at Mass and let her know?

I would take it as a blessing in disguise. A chance to show kindness and true communion with God. I know it’s been a cutesy catch phrase for years, but if you honestly asked yourself what Jesus would have done had the young man touched him the way you described ? If Jesus was sitting next to you watching you (because he actually** is)** how would you have responded? You’re in His house, how do you think He would want you to treat the other people He invited?

I understand what you are saying but I think you’re approaching the whole situation as a problem instead of an opportunity.

 

[Immorrtalmortal]

I get annoyed at people who don’t think certain other people should be allowed in church. You remind me of my aunts who along with sadly quite a few older alleged Catholics who don’t like children in general at church. The parishes they go to all have crying chapels, exile from the real church cause people are ‘disturbed’ by babies crying. These older ladies then decided since these chapels are smaller they must be a better place for themselves so they don’t have to walk that far to receive Communion. (Never mind that most parishes around here leave the front couple of roles of pews reserved for older and disabled people who can’t walk far. That would require them to show up before Mass starts and stay till after the priest has left the Alter.) Now these same little old ladies crab about how children aren’t taught how to behave in church, and why are they even allowed in the building. Some people are never satisfied. Dare I say even in need of a refresher course in what our Faith teaches.

 

[Blue_Goose]

I shared this response with my six horses and burro. They were all offended by the dead horse analogy!

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

Oh, let’s all just high five everyone on the way to receiving communion and make everyone feel welcome and loved!

 

[robwar]

I get annoyed at people who don’t think certain other people should be allowed in church. You remind me of my aunts who along with sadly quite a few older alleged Catholics who don’t like children in general at church. The parishes they go to all have crying chapels, exile from the real church cause people are ‘disturbed’ by babies crying. These older ladies then decided since these chapels are smaller they must be a better place for themselves so they don’t have to walk that far to receive Communion. (Never mind that most parishes around here leave the front couple of roles of pews reserved for older and disabled people who can’t walk far. That would require them to show up before Mass starts and stay till after the priest has left the Alter.) Now these same little old ladies crab about how children aren’t taught how to behave in church, and why are they even allowed in the building. Some people are never satisfied. Dare I say even in need of a refresher course in what our Faith teaches.

 

[zab]

I shared this response with my six horses and burro. They were all offended by the dead horse analogy!

He ain’t dead yet
http://www.smileyvault.com/albums/userpics/10404/deadhorse.gif

 

[zab]

:knight2:

 

[FAB]

Sounds like the disabled boy has been trained by a lot of “o-o-ooh-let-me-show-love-to-the-disabled-boy-by-giving-him-a-handshake / hug-on-my-way-up-to-Holy Communion” types.

His mom would probably appreciate it MORE if you did that at the appropriate Greeting Of Peace time in the Mass, or after Mass, and thereby helping the boy learn the correct behaviors for the various parts of the Mass.

How about the people in line for Holy Communion who are suffering from arthritis, rheumatism, shingles, balance problems, vision loss, etc.? Do they need someone who lacks astute judgement, tugging at their arm, possibly throwing them off balance or causing pain? Not to mention people who may have limited tolerance about people unexpectedly startling, grabbing or touching them (autistic spectrum, etc.) ?

I am astounded by the number of so-called Catholics responding to Miss Rose73 who immediately had to chastise and berate her, including two who called themselves Deacons! Unbelievable! And the person who cited a previous post in a completely different thread by Miss Rose73 to try to belittle her is just beyond the pale.

As the third-grade teacher used to say, “Go stand in the corner!”:tsktsk:

As one of those “so called deacons” I stand by my comments. The original poster did not indicate any ailment, she just didn’t what to be bothered by this child. That is what is being called out as being non Christian.
As far as those folks of which you speak, at least in my parish their needs are taken into consideration and I as the deacon, take the Eucharist to were they are sitting, other church’s have specific areas for the physically challenge to sit so they can be specially served.
Perhaps a lesson from the Kindergarten teacher is more appropriate, play together and share.:hug3: love and care for each other

 

[Lochias]

As one of those “so called deacons” I stand by my comments. The original poster did not indicate any ailment, she just didn’t what to be bothered by this child. That is what is being called out as being non Christian.

Sorry, Deacon, and my respect, but that is called a “snap judgement based on one Internet post which in no way, shape or form should have brought forth the torrent of bile and rock-slinging that half of this thread became.”

 

[InspiritCarol]

I shared this response with my six horses and burro. They were all offended by the dead horse analogy!

I know! It’s enough to give one nightmares . ~ahem~ (apologetic cough).

~sniff~
When will all the senseless violence on these forums end?

 

[retire_early]

As one of those “so called deacons” I stand by my comments. The original poster did not indicate any ailment, she just didn’t what to be bothered by this child. That is what is being called out as being non Christian.
As far as those folks of which you speak, at least in my parish their needs are taken into consideration and I as the deacon, take the Eucharist to were they are sitting, other church’s have specific areas for the physically challenge to sit so they can be specially served.
Perhaps a lesson from the Kindergarten teacher is more appropriate, play together and share.:hug3: love and care for each other

Thats right, Deacon FAB, love and care for each other, even if it is someone who does not want to be grabbed at going up the communion aisle.

You don’t have a dossier on everyone’s medical, emotional, social and religious capabilities, sensibilities and status who happen to be in your parish church at any given moment. SO DON’T ASSUME. Assume what? Assume that MissRose73 “didn’t want to be bothered” or that she is “being non Christian” in not wanting to be grabbed.

No one would know when I am suffering from a severe case of sciatica or shingles as I walk up the aisle. Or any number of ailments that would prevent me from glad-handing people in the pews. Or that I just want to walk up the aisle with a complete focus on receiving Holy Communion.

You may be ordained a Deacon, but you don’t get to call the shots about MissRose73’s Christianity. Get thee to a refresher course. :bible1:

 

[acarlson]

These kids are real loving. I don’t see what your problem was shaking hands with him.
Look out for him next Sunday & give him a big hug as well as handshake. He was offering unconditional love/friendship - perhaps on reflection you can see it like that.

Exactly :\ why not just shake his hand???

 

[toastmachines]

OP, I would just speak with the Mother. She probably wouldn’t think anything of it. I certainly couldn’t imagine her getting offended by it. Perhaps a solution would be a stuffed animal, or something of the sort to keep the hands occupied?

Some of the comments on this thread are ghastly.

 

[Lochias]

OP, I would just speak with the Mother. She probably wouldn’t think anything of it. I certainly couldn’t imagine her getting offended by it. Perhaps a solution would be a stuffed animal, or something of the sort to keep the hands occupied?

Some of the comments on this thread are ghastly.

Well said, 100%. I’d be surprised if the poor OP is still here, given what’s been heaped on her in this thread.

 

[enbell]

^^^^^THIS!!!

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

It is not all about any of us either!