Incorporating Catholic Culture into our Wedding Day

[kacmcg]

Hi folks,

I’m getting marriage in the Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite in January and am trying to incorporate as much Catholic culture as possible into the wedding day. I’d like to use this opportunity to bring back so many family members who have lost their faith and understanding of the glorious Catholic Church.

The point of this tread is to gather creative ideas to infuse Catholic culture into our wedding day.

I do have a specific question if anyone has a place to point me to:
I am looking for gold-looking, but not plated, saint medals to place on my bridemaid’s/toss bouquets. Our theme is red and gold; I would prefer not to use silver-looking metals. Does anyone know of a vendor who sells these? (We’re on a budget!)

In Christ the King,
Kerry Ann

 

[agapewolf]

I think the premise of this question is a bit off. Catholic practices in a liturgy are not “cultural” in nature, but are rooted in deep theological meaning. I don’t think dressing up a wedding with cultural elements will do the job of bringing people back as that’s pretty much what most people do.

Stick to what the church gives you. It’s good enough. No need to “infuse” anything else in.

 

[Jguerra]

Congratulations!

At your wedding reception, you and your new spouse lead the guests in the Grace before Meals.

As the reception draws to a close, challenge/invite your guests to Sunday Mass (assuming your wedding is on a Saturday).

Joe

 

[kacmcg]

Perhaps I should have been more specific.

The liturgy is focused on God and we are doing all that we can to prepare for our marriage. My question mainly concerns everything else related to the reception and family festivities.

We’ve lost so much of our Catholic heritage! And it is important to bring people to Christ.

For example, I will be placing a St. Catherine of Alexandria medal on my toss bouquet. Hopefully, the maiden who receives it will look into the life of St. Catherine, the patron of single females, and draw closer to Christ through His grace.

 

[Richard320]

Too much emphasis is on the reception and not enough on the ceremony these days. So I commend you for worrying about the spiritual and not what color the tableclothes will be.

We were fortunate to be able to have our reception a few hundred yards from the church. Same parking lot. So we didn’t have a whole lot of people skipping the wedding and showing at the reception. None, in fact.

We also arranged that several regular Mass-goers sat up front so the lapsed and non Catholics would know when to stand or sit. If you’re having a Trad wedding, you’ve probably already thought about that sort of thing.

I’d go to the nearest Catholic bookstore and tell them what you want. I’m sure they have catalogs and can find what you want.

 

[PatriceA]

I think the premise of this question is a bit off. Catholic practices in a liturgy are not “cultural” in nature, but are rooted in deep theological meaning. I don’t think dressing up a wedding with cultural elements will do the job of bringing people back as that’s pretty much what most people do.

Stick to what the church gives you. It’s good enough. No need to “infuse” anything else in.

I actually agree with this. I as a guest would NOT want the reception to be used as an evangelization tool for my benefit if I was a lapsed Catholic. It would have just the opposite affect as you’re hoping to have with incorporating medals and other Catholic items or “customs” into the reception. I admire your enthusiasm, but I wonder if you’ve considered the point of view of the lapsed Catholic in your plans. Having a Catholic wedding ceremony and living out your faith is the best tool for reaching the lapsed Catholics in your family and guests. Doing too much though at the reception has the possibility of turning people off more than you think you will. Even as a practicing Catholic, I wouldn’t want to be reminded over and over again that you are Catholic and some of your guests are not which is how some of your ideas could come across.

 

[agapewolf]

Well, most single girls around me hate the bouquet toss- because the underlying statement is that all single people somehow are not good enough-- and must want to be married, and let’s put them all on display to show them scramble and fight for that.

That’s usually a time when most girls I know head to the restroom. If you want to be affirming of vocations…skip the “tradition” all together.

 

[coachdennis]

I actually agree with this. I as a guest would NOT want the reception to be used as an evangelization tool for my benefit if I was a lapsed Catholic. It would have just the opposite affect as you’re hoping to have with incorporating medals and other Catholic items or “customs” into the reception. I admire your enthusiasm, but I wonder if you’ve considered the point of view of the lapsed Catholic in your plans. Having a Catholic wedding ceremony and living out your faith is the best tool for reaching the lapsed Catholics in your family and guests. Doing too much though at the reception has the possibility of turning people off more than you think you will. Even as a practicing Catholic, I wouldn’t want to be reminded over and over again that you are Catholic and some of your guests are not which is how some of your ideas could come across.

I have to concur. This is a delicate balancing act. I understand the wish to celebrate your faith but your guests are your guests, not a captive audience. The number one rule of a good host/hostess is not to make guests feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Now, they may all be practicing Catholics but are you inadvertedly setting up a" litmus test" of who is more Catholic?

In short, do you want your wedding may remembered as a celebration of your love and your faith in Jesus … or a final exam on sacramentals? Your choice

 

[thewanderer]

I actually agree with this. I as a guest would NOT want the reception to be used as an evangelization tool for my benefit if I was a lapsed Catholic. It would have just the opposite affect as you’re hoping to have with incorporating medals and other Catholic items or “customs” into the reception. I admire your enthusiasm, but I wonder if you’ve considered the point of view of the lapsed Catholic in your plans. Having a Catholic wedding ceremony and living out your faith is the best tool for reaching the lapsed Catholics in your family and guests. Doing too much though at the reception has the possibility of turning people off more than you think you will. Even as a practicing Catholic, I wouldn’t want to be reminded over and over again that you are Catholic and some of your guests are not which is how some of your ideas could come across.

This. If I were a non-practicing Catholic I would feel like adding in too many extra Catholic details was just an attempt to shove something down my throat and so would be turned off by it more than anything else. I would say that a much better idea for evangelization is to use this as an opportunity to explain and display the beauty of the vocation to married life and sexuality as understood by the Church. Have your readings, toasts, speeches etc focus on this if at all possible. The fact that a marriage is a complete gift of self no matter what, that it is vocation to be lived out not just a personal decision which you feel will enrich your life and make you more happy etc etc. The Catholic Church’s understanding of marriage is radical enough to stand on its own as a witness to the Catholic faith and doesn’t have need of extra saint medals etc for that purpose.

[EDIT: Please note that I’m not saying you can’t put a saint medal onto the tossing bouquet, if you really want to of course you can, but just don’t look at it as a tool for evangelization, do it because it truly has meaning for you]

 

[papaececi]

We also arranged that several regular Mass-goers sat up front so the lapsed and non Catholics would know when to stand or sit. If you’re having a Trad wedding, you’ve probably already thought about that sort of thing.

This is a good idea. Also, your church may have a booklet for mass goers, but for our wedding mass, we had a printed booklet with every detail of the mass in it so that everyone would know exactly what to do and when. You could even talk to a priest about adding explanations of certain parts of the mass into it.