Indefinite use of NFP?

[Convert_in_99]

Can a couple who has no living children use NFP indefinitely to avoid pregnancy for emotional health reasons or is this not doing our job as Catholics or being closed to life?

For the record I’ve struggled with severe mental illness all of my life too.

 

[underacloud]

That’s an interesting question and there are some subtleties to answering it. The following are my opinions, not really clear Church teaching.

In general, NFP may be used to avoid pregnancy for as long as the just reason(s) to use it exits. This includes the option to use it indefinitely.

From Humanae Vitae:

With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time.

But, we could note here that it refers to “additional children”. Does this imply that it does not hold if the couple have not yet had any children? No, but it’s not entirely clear either way.

Obviously (I hope it’s obvious), a childless couple who find that there is a very serious reason not to have children are not bound to have children. eg if the mothers health will be gravely risked (including mental health).

But, there is a general responsibility for any married couple to be open to life; to procreate if it is possible. So we might say that in general, the reasons to use NFP indefinitely in the case of no children must be very serious indeed - the bar should be set higher than for couples who already have children. Procreation is rightly considered the primary (first, but not only) end of marriage, so a couple is generally bound to have children.

We can also note that a couple who already have children usually have more inherent reasons to avoid further children, such are the financial, physical, mental, emotional demands of parenting, that a childless couple do not yet face. So the use of NFP is generally more likely to be justified for those who are already parents.

Anyway, it’s a complex matter. I’m sure you’ll hear different opinions expressed here, either way. A trusted priest may be the best person to help you work through your own circumstances, taking into account any relevant medical advice you may have received.

 

[underacloud]

PS I’m assuming the couple in question is already married. A couple not yet married cannot validly marry in the Church if they have a permanent intention against children. I’m no canon law expert, but I believe that an engaged couple who intended to use NFP to avoid children throughout their entire marriage could not validly marry in the Church. Which is different to entering a marriage intending to use NFP to avoid but hoping/expecting that circumstances may change so that procreating will be possible.

 

[Regina7]

PS I’m assuming the couple in question is already married. A couple not yet married cannot validly marry in the Church if they have a permanent intention against children. I’m no canon law expert, but I believe that an engaged couple who intended to use NFP to avoid children throughout their entire marriage could not validly marry in the Church. Which is different to entering a marriage intending to use NFP to avoid but hoping/expecting that circumstances may change so that procreating will be possible.

I agree.

IMO, indefinitely using nfp is like saying that the couple knows better than God if/when to have children.

 

[JamalChristophr]

Can a couple who has no living children use NFP indefinitely to avoid pregnancy for emotional health reasons or is this not doing our job as Catholics or being closed to life?

For the record I’ve struggled with severe mental illness all of my life too.

I don’t believe your question can be adequately answered in this forum. Assessment of your mental health is a deciding factor in coming to a conclusion.

This link may be helpful:

taylormarshall.com/2014/08/nfp-and-serious-reasons-what-are-these-reasons.html

 

[Xantippe]

Can a couple who has no living children use NFP indefinitely to avoid pregnancy for emotional health reasons or is this not doing our job as Catholics or being closed to life?

For the record I’ve struggled with severe mental illness all of my life too.

I think it could be OK if the intention were simply, “we will avoid children until it is prudent.”

There might, for instance, theoretically be a new miracle cure right around the corner, so “I need to avoid for my health until there is a cure” is not at all the same as “I need to avoid forever”.

 

[agnes_therese]

I think it could be OK if the intention were simply, “we will avoid children until it is prudent.”

There might, for instance, theoretically be a new miracle cure right around the corner, so “I need to avoid for my health until there is a cure” is not at all the same as “I need to avoid forever”.

 

[UbiCaritas]

I think it could be OK if the intention were simply, “we will avoid children until it is prudent.”

There might, for instance, theoretically be a new miracle cure right around the corner, so “I need to avoid for my health until there is a cure” is not at all the same as “I need to avoid forever”.

Indeed.

There’s also the fact that many medications used for mental health are not at all safe to take when pregnant or trying to conceive. As a result, taking them may mean that you have two very good reasons not to conceive at that time: first, going off of such medications may mean a severe blow to your own mental health, and second, those medications could cause a lot of harm to a developing baby if he or she is exposed to them. (Whether or not this is true in your case is best determined by your doctor–not a bad question to run by him or her anyway, even if you are TTA indefinitely for now.)

Please do not think I am encouraging you to stop taking your medications; quite the opposite! If you and your doctor have figured out a good mix that works well for your particular brain chemistry, AWESOME! Keep it up! I only mention this to point out that in Humanae Vitae, there is a list of categories of reasons for why a couple may legitimately avoid children, and both psychological and eugenic (read, in modern language, “genetic”) are on the list. You’re fine; please be at peace and don’t worry.

 

[Kelfa28]

I don’t think there is a problem with this statement.

One could easily have a sacramental marriage, with every intention of having children, but after marriage medical issues could suddenly pop up…rendering it totally irresponsible for the couple to have children for a undetermined period of time.

Right now, hubby and I are done having children for a multitude of valid reasons.

Even if our financial issues and coping strategies even themselves out…pregnancy is just too rough on me. I don’t want to do it again…at all. So I seriously doubt having a fourth kid is on the table, ever.

So we will be using NFP until I hit menopause.

 

[Convert_in_99]

I agree.

IMO, indefinitely using nfp is like saying that the couple knows better than God if/when to have children.

I have definitely been where you are, until I discovered a circumstance in our own marriage where indefinite use of NFP might be best. Loosing a child, especially your one and only child after 8yrs of infertility, is the hardest experience my husband or I have ever faced (and we’ve had a doozy of a marriage too!) After starting to be open to life again, a year after our loss, we got a false positive pregnancy test yesterday that threw us for an emotional roller coaster ride like none other. We realized we aren’t ready to try again. Not at all! Will we ever be? I don’t know, but maybe we won’t hence why I am here asking this question. I have reasons enough for ongoing NFP use due to my mental health issues. But this isn’t the whole reason we’re choosing to use NFP right now. I wanted to know if this reason could also be justifiable for potentially indefinite NFP use. I’m 32 so Weve still got about fifteen years on the bio clock ticker. That’s a long time to think of using NFP.

 

[jlc2k2]

I have definitely been where you are, until I discovered a circumstance in our own marriage where indefinite use of NFP might be best. Loosing a child, especially your one and only child after 8yrs of infertility, is the hardest experience my husband or I have ever faced (and we’ve had a doozy of a marriage too!) After starting to be open to life again, a year after our loss, we got a false positive pregnancy test yesterday that threw us for an emotional roller coaster ride like none other. We realized we aren’t ready to try again. Not at all! Will we ever be? I don’t know, but maybe we won’t hence why I am here asking this question. I have reasons enough for ongoing NFP use due to my mental health issues. But this isn’t the whole reason we’re choosing to use NFP right now. I wanted to know if this reason could also be justifiable for potentially indefinite NFP use. I’m 32 so Weve still got about fifteen years on the bio clock ticker. That’s a long time to think of using NFP.

15 years is a long time to think about. It may be better to think in chunks of time. Then see where life is in 3 months, 6 months, a year. Who knows? By then you may be ready to try again. Or you may not. But if you are constantly reevaluating the situation, it may be less intimidating AND you’ll have the peace of mind (if you can call it that) of knowing that the reasons to avoid still exist.