INDIANS (South Asians) Please Help?

[God_Willing]

Hi all,
Thanks for listening!

I am facing a bit of an issue with my husband. He was raised in a NORTH Indian home, his parents were Hindus but non practicing (They never went to temple, etc).
I am Catholic and my husband is not, but now is thinking about it.
Although he grew up in a non traditional Hindu home, now that we want to have kids he wants to pass on his rich Indian heritage, without including Hinduism. This is one of the issues as he doesn’t know how he could attend an Indian event and not participate in the prayer part of it.
Another more serious problem is that his parents don’t think it’s possible for him to become Catholic without completely disregarding his ethnicity and are upset with him.
I’ve told him there are many parts to a culture and being Catholic doesn’t make you less Indian. But he’s told me it’s not exactly like that because the culture strongly upholds itself in Hinduism, especially because he is North Indian not South Indian, and of Brahmin caste. Moreover, he says his parents would never understand that and he doesn’t know how to talk to them about this without them feeling like they were a failure by not raising him “more Indian”. His parents are okay with the fact he doesn’t go to the temple now, the problem is, that by becoming Catholic, they would feel he’s completely ignoring his culture…if that makes sense.
Bottom line is, he is now thinking about being Catholic but doesn’t know how to reconcile being Indian with being Catholic.
How have you guys:

1- Explain your decision to your parents and helped them feel at ease that you’re not disregarding your culture

2-Raise your kids with Indian values but being Catholic at the same time. How do you deal with going to events such as Diwali?

3-How do you practice Catholicism and still hold on to your North Indian identity? My husband is having difficulties thinking that now he will have completely diregarded his culture and identity. He does want to become Catholic but can’t reconcile this within himself and his family.

Please help
Thank you very much and God bless you!

 

[trish_scotland]

I am not sure what your husband should do in this instance and i am sure it is a difficult time for you both, if your husband knows he is catholic deep down then he must find the strength to do what he thinks is right, he shouldnt leave it as it is as it will eat away at him, as to ignore it wont make his faith go away. He musent turn his back on god as god wouldnt turn his back on your husband. You are both in my prayers that he finds the strength to do what is right.

 

[TheRiver]

Bottom line is, he is now thinking about being Catholic but doesn’t know how to reconcile being Indian with being Catholic.

I’m not Indian, but I have lived there and know to a large extent this kind of situation. There are many Catholic Indians, and whilst it’s true a large of the Indian culture and heritage is based around Hinduism, there should be no problem in participating in such events, he only needs not to say the prayers. I have been to many hindu events and festivals, and they are quite fun and interesting.

How have you guys:

1- Explain your decision to your parents and helped them feel at ease that you’re not disregarding your culture

Strictly speaking, this is not entirely possible, especially not with South Asian parents, because of the culture and heritage, they can be very set in their own ways, and there’s no guarantee that anything he says can make them feel at ease or accept it easily. Not all parents are like that, but for the most part, the ones who have grown up in India, or South Asia will feel strongly about their culture and identity. He has to put his foot down, make the decision, and tell them about it gently but be firm about it. What their reaction will be only he and you can only know.

I’d say not to get in to an argument about the culture issue, though it probably will be brought up, as long as he feels that he’s not disregarding his culture and that he knows he can still be a part of many things with the exception of hindu prayers.

2-Raise your kids with Indian values but being Catholic at the same time. How do you deal with going to events such as Diwali?

When I was in India, me and a lot of other foreign kids used to celebrate Diwali, we weren’t hindu, neither did we speak the language or say the prayers, but we did all else that was in it. Diwali in India for the commoner means one thing: FIRECRACKERS - and if you don’t believe me, try going to sleep that night, you won’t.

Raising your kids with Indian values shouldn’t be difficult as he is Indian himself, that would just naturally be passed on by the way he acts, and thinks. Like I said, there are many Catholic Indians, and a lot of Christian Indians.

3-How do you practice Catholicism and still hold on to your North Indian identity? My husband is having difficulties thinking that now he will have completely diregarded his culture and identity. He does want to become Catholic but can’t reconcile this within himself and his family.

Seems more like a family issue that’s extending in to his person and hence he questions himself, best bet would be to give it more time, be prayerful and consider it more and developing a way to best put it to his family.

He would be a Sikh I’m guessing if he’s North Indian? I certainly can understand why the parents would be quite upset if that’s the case, but I’m sure a compromise can be made, and it certainly doesn’t mean he has to give up his identity.

Cheers

 

[God_Willing]

Thank you Trish for your prayers. He really needs that.

Thank you Theriver for your advice. Those are some points I can sure use, and I will when I’m given the opportunity.

Thanks again.

I hope one day my husband is able to reconcile this with himself and his family and to live a full Catholic life…and find the unconditional happiness and freedom that comes along with that!

God bless you all