Our pastor interviews the students (who must be at least 15) and if they indicate such indifference, he will not include them in Confirmation.
It is a very painful situation when it arises. I always found it one of the more painful decisions one makes as a pastor…either when I had the delegation to confirm or I was presenting the students to the bishop but had to withhold those in the situation you describe.
I feel for you. I’ve been teaching Confirmation for over ten years and have taken three class thru so far, I’m working on another class now. We Confirm them all. Even the ones who don’t care, don’t complete the assignments, don’t attend the classes, or even attend Mass. At first I was against it. I thought the kids needed to confirm their belief in our faith and want it. It thought it was something of a prize for doing all the work. Now, not so much. After much study and prayers, I believe Confirmation actually is most needed for those with a weak faith in order to strengthen it. If they aren’t worthy of the sacrament at the time it is given, at least they have it, kinda in their back pocket, for when they do return to the faith. I’m not sure of I’m explaining it right…and I’m sure you will find MANY people who disagree with me.
This is the answer I wanted to give though I’ve never been involved in teaching a confirmation class. I’ve only been on the receiving end of instruction… and maybe I didn’t appreciate my confirmation enough at the time but years later in life I did and I do… Don’t know if it’s the same with others… Kids are often nonchalant…
East and West are of different minds on this matter.By the time young adults are confirmed in the Roman Catholic church, most have already lost their faith. When did the church start that practice? The Eastern churches confirm and commune infants at their baptism, hence, they are fully sacramentalized. My Eastern branch has been latinized withholding first communion until 2nd grade but our priest wishes to be allowed to return to the ancient practice.
As a witness to a (Roman Catholic) confirmation recently it was scandalous, young woman were told to dress modestly. Plunging, loose necklines, bare naked backs and too short and too tight dresses were the popular choice
You would do a justice to fully sacramentalize an infant then wait until after the evil one has a stronghold on their heart and minds.
I would gladly take questions about the Catholic faith and even challenges to it. We ask questions too, to help spur thought and discussion, but there is little to be had. I would even accept silence and confusion about how to answer the question. What is maddening is not taking it seriously – answering the questions with joke answers, farting and burping, rolling up a prayer book to hit others on the head, talking to each other when someone else is talking.
I know…its is really rough sometimes. And the administration doesn’t get it. Often times the Catechists is blaimed for “lack of control” of the class, then they quit. Next Catechists comes in and it is good for a few weeks, then…it starts all over again. I’ve been there.
do you think parents have some lf the blame for not raising their children better to know how to behave in the class?
My nephews were baptize and confirmed at birth in our Maronite parish in 1988 and 2001. My sister says they received first communion in primary school.
Our archdiocese (Denver) is in the process of lowering Confirmations to the 3rd grade. I think this is a positive step. Do it earlier, before the lures of the world have too much hold on them. This might also have the effect of clearing out the youth group of those children whose parents just want to get the checklist items marked off. For that matter, doing it as an infant would be even better. Then First Holy Communion can be their “graduation party” if doing the checklist is all they care about. Ongoing catechesis would be for the children of parents who want to increase their child’s receptivity of what has already been received – as it is with infant Baptism.By the time young adults are confirmed in the Roman Catholic church, most have already lost their faith. When did the church start that practice? The Eastern churches confirm and commune infants at their baptism, hence, they are fully sacramentalized. My Eastern branch has been latinized withholding first communion until 2nd grade but our priest wishes to be allowed to return to the ancient practice.
As a witness to a (Roman Catholic) confirmation recently it was scandalous, young woman were told to dress modestly. Plunging, loose necklines, bare naked backs and too short and too tight dresses were the popular choice
You would do a justice to fully sacramentalize an infant then wait until after the evil one has a stronghold on their heart and minds.
I think the parents have a share of the blame for their child’s behavior and lack of knowledge of the faith, but I’d be cautious about making a blanket statement. Teens and pre-teens are beginning to assert their independence – first with safer authority figures like Confirmation teachers, then later with their own parents. Some may also have only recently been baptized and have little knowledge or interest in the faith. Perhaps we should require parents of those who misbehave to sit in on the classes.
good idea. I had my dad attend my classes just for support.
Wish more pastors were like yours. I remember being like the 6th graders the OP describes. I was only getting confirmed because that’s what my parents wanted and what my classmates in School were doing (and mind you this was 9th grade at the time, the diocese moved it back to 8th grade the year after I was confirmed never mind 6th grade). It was not something I should have been doing at the time as I was not agreeing with the commitment it signified nor honoring it.
Can’t kids be “kicked out” of Confirmation for bad behavior? Or is it like public school - the Church has to accept them? Just wondering.
We’ve never had this happen. Sounds like it devolved along time ago, frankly.