Indifference

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My forthcoming rant is most likely conditioned by my many years suffering the effects of being an Adult Child of Alcoholic parents, with equally as many years of mistreatment. :o However. I think this is a valid question for any of us…If we are to accept life & its deficiencies (in a redemptive sense), then why, & to what degree of effort do we try, to change what’s wrong on any scale, personally, socially, micro or macro scale? :confused:

My intellect tells me through what I’ve read & hear from the Scriptures & Church teaching that we are expected to show charity & act on the injustices that we see (in today’s world, it would call for putting in many hours of overtime). 😦 When our efforts seem to fail over & over, when it seems that we don’t make an effective positive difference, at least for me, indifference would be far less stressful & draining, & simply accepting ‘the way things are’, & offering it up to God, would make an impact on the stock of Tylenol & Excedrin (to say the least).

Most times it just seems like, what’s the point? 🤷

(And, ok…just please humor me…someone tell me you’ve felt like this, even if only a little) 🙂
 
K Dog:

One needs to change inwardly. Change from a reactive being of this world, to a servant who does repairs.

He has become the janitor of this world, the fixer. He read Ecclesiastes the story of one man who saw the futility of catering to the prince of this world, and how even the happiness and joys it brings are fleeting and die with it eventually. The prince commands we observe and measure but no more. The wise man will not listen and become a contributer of the chaos.
I recommend you do the opposite and become the advocate of your parents. Talk about the positive things they did for you and don’t accept scandal about them. If their relationship isn’t solid, help bring it togeather, etc.

Sirach,Wisdom and Proverbs also good advice.

True happiness and peace is service to God.

AndyF
 
as someone who fits at least part of description in OP, survivor of life with alcoholic relatives, I know only one thing: you can change yourself, you cannot change anyone else. You alone are responsible for the circumstances under which you live your life as an adult, the time for excuses based on what somebody else did to you ends at your 18th birthday. (I use “you” editorially, not personally). you are not responsible for the misery other people create for themselves, you are not to blame for them clinging to destructive behavior. take responsibility for your own life, beginning with your spiritual health, and don’t carry somebody else’s cross, your own will be heavy enough.

nobody ever changed the world by starting out to change the world those who made a difference started in their own arena, first took care of their own little corner of the world, and got their own act together.
 
Accepting the way things are and leaving it up to God is not indifference. It is the first step in giving your will up to God. He wants those we pray for to come as much as we do but they do have a free will, so he doesn’t force anyone. I do feel like quitting on some too, and get discouraged but know that it is in the plan and purpose for all to come to the Lord. 🙂
 
I feel much like K dog a lot of the time, but then remember little gems like:

I can’t do everything, but that’s not an excuse to do nothing.

To fail to try is to fail.

God can touch the world with my hands, but only if I let him.

To God, it really doesn’t matter if you win-- he only cares how you play.

Trite, but true.
 
Kdog,

I have a couple of medical conditions that keep me from putting in the overtime, as you called it. Luckily for me, that is not the only way to serve God.

I can be an amateur apologist, by studying my faith and knowing what she teaches, and explaining it to others (in writing) with charity. (Well, sometimes I fail on the charity part. Shame on me.)

Above all, I can pray. I can pray for all kinds of people, from the most abandoned souls in Purgatory, to the most abandoned prostitutes on the street. I can pray for our emergency responders. I can pray for conversions and for vocations. I can pray for the intentions of our Holy Father. And more, as I think of them.

I can offer my pain up to God, to use where it is needed. I can earn indulgences and give them to the souls in Purgatory.

All these I can do without leaving the house. Apologetics takes some time, but prayer doesn’t take long. Here’s my favorite, which my DH came up with: “Lord, Bless and protect and be with —, and, if it be Thy divine will, grant their prayers.” It takes about 10 seconds. “Grant their prayers” can also be “heal them,” or “convert them,” or any other suitable phrase.

Hope this helps!

Ruthie
 
Thank you, all who replied. Most of what I read, I have tried; if not in the long ago, in the recent past. Some of it has worked, some of it I am still working on.

Truth be told, I am too into my faith & its beliefs to become indifferent, & actually have little patience (God is still working with me on that) for someone who is comfortable with that way of life.

In this day & time, when we seem to come so much closer to the unimaginable horrors that Our Lord spoke about, it seems like the world is one giant snowball rolling downhill to hell. Just seems like little we do makes a difference. But, still, we try. And maybe that is THE difference.

Thanks again, & God Bless.
 
K Dog:

What helps me to make changes is to get out of my self, my absolute self-centeredness, and work with others, particularly others with the same affliction(s) that I have. I’m a recovering alcoholic who came from a WAY-alcoholic home, with siblings who are also in various stages of sickness and recovery. I have been sober 24 years and I still work at it a day at a time. I stay attuned to those who still suffer and attempt to carry a message of experience, strength and hope. If they can’t dig it, that’s ok. I pray, but not in a conventional sense; I consider God to be my guide but also my friend, one who will applaud my successes and help me to evaluate my failures so I don’t have to keep at it on the rodent wheel day and night.

I am also bi-polar, medicated 20 years. I am also divorced. Lots of company there. Every character defect I developed along the way I can explore with another human being in the hope that we can both progress.

If nothing changes, nothing changes. Change doesn’t have to occur on a grand scale. If one even slightly alters one’s character, attitude, demeanor, openness, it immediately affects everything around that person and effects change. A few modifications every day and you have changed your world in ways you may never know about. But you set things in motion. That’s important.

Don’t just sit there! There’s work to be done! :console:

marietta
 
Marietta:

Thank you for your encouraging words. I can tell you have walked some of the same rocky path that I have…a lot of the same kinds of barriers that created character defects. Know you’re in my prayer of gratitude, & wishes for continued strength. And congrats on your 24 years…I will celebrate 25 years this November.

I’ve come to learn that there’s a fine line between reaching out to help others (simply from the heart or to ‘get out of ourselves’), & running away or trying to escape from our garbage. I did that for 15 years, I think, as a social worker/addictions counselor. Even tho I felt what I was doing was for the Lord (I always sought Him for guidance to do His will in helping others), working thru & learning the step program of ACA I now wonder if it was also a denial thing…get into others’ to take the focus off self.

It’s all part of the journey. And every day, the journey begins with one step. Thanks again, God Bless you…
 
Hi K Dog,

As Mother Teresa said: If you can’t feed 100 people, feed one.

I think Catholics too often think that making a little bit of a difference is the old drop in a bucket. What’s the use?

Well, it means a lot to that one person you helped or were polite to or had an encouraging word for. Everyone needs encouragement from time to time. Other times, when things are going good, it’s OK to enjoy that too. Just don’t forget about helping, even a little.

For Christians, it means works supported by faith. All of us have different gifts and different situations. I think the current culture encourages people to be spoon fed ideas and suggestions. Like, what should I be doing? Oh, I’ll just pick up on something I heard on TV or the radio. Pray and ask God for guidance and be patient. Not all of us are going to fill halls or stadiums and God tends to give everyone an idea to work with, and if we’re faithful with that, perhaps a little more. Some are called to South America, others are called to be good husbands and fathers and role-models, and that’s difficult and time-consuming enough for some.

Pray and God will surely give you an answer.

God bless,
Ed
 
More wise words, Ed, & again as to others who replied, I thank you. As Scripture teaches, to those whom much is given, much is required. Sometimes I think we lose sight of the fact that, as Catholics, much has been given to us; especially in the richness of our faith.

So when we have to honestly decide what we can & will give back, & how to do it, I think we can often feel that we can’t do enough. I often am tempted to say that the monster (or maybe more appropriately, the beast) is bigger than I am; there’s nothing I can do.

Given the dark past I have, & the spiritually guided choice to use that to the best of my ability to show others currently in that darkness that there is a way out, when I have to face that darkness in trying to help lead others out (notice I said “help”…I wouldn’t dare try to do it on my own; I know who to rely on), & because the powers of that darkness are so strong, it seems I rarely am able to be effective. Yes, I’m aware that I may not see any results of the often draining effort that I put in, but in this predominently dark time of our lives, I have to wonder & question…we who are servants of God, who can only do so much…have to ask, “Lord, I need more help.” And when our prayer doesn’t seem to have an effect, the temptation is to turn to indifference. It would be so easy to say, “Oh well…I tried.” I have to admit, & I have often in confession, that I’ve come very close to that indifference.

As Catholics, we can/could/should be such a powerful influence on life, in the world, no matter if in our own little corner, or a larger stage. Why then aren’t we? Is indifference a factor?
 
Two sayings come to mind.

“Don’t bite off more than you can chew.”

And paraphrasing, " Learn to change the things you can change, to let go of those things you cannot, and pray for the wisdom to discern the difference." 🙂
 
Here is the ‘Whole’ Serenity Prayer:

Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.

(The second part is also enlightening)
 
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