Infant Baptism...Non-catholic parent...Bad Cannon Law advice?

[jmcrae]

Please explain to me how a priest is supposed to have “well founded hope” that a child who has parents who are not yet Catholic, will be raised in the Catholic faith?

I do understand you are trying to do what you think is best for your child,but that is also what the priest is concerned about, too. **Please, talk to the priests involved instead of trying to find a ‘law’ that will give you the answer that you want. **

Peace & prayers.

I agree. This is not a “religion of the book” - it is a religion that is lived in community. Your pastor is the person who makes these decisions - and picking and choosing from canon law isn’t really a very good way to get him on your side.

 

[Honour]

Please explain to me how a priest is supposed to have “well founded hope” that a child who has parents who are not yet Catholic, will be raised in the Catholic faith?

I do understand you are trying to do what you think is best for your child,but that is also what the priest is concerned about, too. Please, talk to the priests involved instead of trying to find a ‘law’ that will give you the answer that you want.

Peace & prayers.

Ok, first off, I know priest baptize babies all the time for parents who are “Catholic” but have not been attending mass, who’s marriages are not valid, any number of reasons why it is likely that child will not be raised with a good understanding of the church or even receive further sacraments, but they do it anyways, they don’t get scrutinized like I do. If I have a desire to raise my child in the church, and I regularly attend mass, I am actively pursing steps necessary to have my marriage blessed so that I might be accepted into the church, and I have been attending RCIA classes…I think that is more “hope” than there is for some babies with “Catholic” parents.

Secondly, if you look back through my posts you would see that I am simply trying to get the correct information, advice on talking to the priest, different points of view, and general support from people who know more about this than I do. I NEVER said that I was out to prove the priest wrong, or find some cannon law to throw in his face.

The PRIEST HIMSELF first told me that he was more than happy and very willing to baptize my baby before my confirmation. He told me that it was great that I was seeking the sacrament for her even before I had been accepted. Now sure, he could have had a change of heart, but it seemed to me that his “hope” that she would be raised Catholic was in his mind, more than “founded”. It was only after he spoke to the lawyer that he told me he could not baptize her because the law did not allow it (I believe he may have received bad information).

ALL I want is to make sure that everyone is operating on the correct information and have another discussion. I take your comments personally and I find them judgmental and hurtful.

Put yourself in my shoes…you won’t be the one laying awake at night watching your little one take one breath after another…fearful of her not waking up the next morning and wondering about her poor little soul. I am not about to let it go based on a 5 minute conversation where some of the parties could be operating on bad info. I have said it many times, I DO want to talk to the priest again, I just wanted to be prepared, I want to know if he is saying the “hope” is lacking, or if it is something else.

 

[aemcpa]

Put yourself in my shoes…you won’t be the one laying awake at night watching your little one take one breath after another…fearful of her not waking up the next morning and wondering about her poor little soul.

My Irish side would be tempted to baptize the kid myself in front of the pastor if he refused to do it.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Ok, first off, I know priest baptize babies all the time for parents who are “Catholic” but have not been attending mass, who’s marriages are not valid, any number of reasons why it is likely that child will not be raised with a good understanding of the church or even receive further sacraments, but they do it anyways, they don’t get scrutinized like I do. If I have a desire to raise my child in the church, and I regularly attend mass, I am actively pursing steps necessary to have my marriage blessed so that I might be accepted into the church, and I have been attending RCIA classes…I think that is more “hope” than there is for some babies with “Catholic” parents.

Secondly, if you look back through my posts you would see that I am simply trying to get the correct information, advice on talking to the priest, different points of view, and general support from people who know more about this than I do. I NEVER said that I was out to prove the priest wrong, or find some cannon law to throw in his face.

The PRIEST HIMSELF first told me that he was more than happy and very willing to baptize my baby before my confirmation. He told me that it was great that I was seeking the sacrament for her even before I had been accepted. Now sure, he could have had a change of heart, but it seemed to me that his “hope” that she would be raised Catholic was in his mind, more than “founded”. It was only after he spoke to the lawyer that he told me he could not baptize her because the law did not allow it (I believe he may have received bad information).

ALL I want is to make sure that everyone is operating on the correct information and have another discussion. I take your comments personally and I find them judgmental and hurtful.

Put yourself in my shoes…you won’t be the one laying awake at night watching your little one take one breath after another…fearful of her not waking up the next morning and wondering about her poor little soul. I am not about to let it go based on a 5 minute conversation where some of the parties could be operating on bad info. I have said it many times, I DO want to talk to the priest again, I just wanted to be prepared, I want to know if he is saying the “hope” is lacking, or if it is something else.

Please do not take my comment personally. I know you are trying to do the right thing and I applaud you for that.

I know first hand the pit-falls that many “cradle-Catholics” face who are baptized no questions asked. I was one of them. I fell away as a teen-ager, and then returned in my mid-30’s. I was in an invalid marriage, and looking at the possiblity of having to choose between between my marriage and the Sacraments.
I know the pain, anger & frustration of having to follow rules & laws that you had no idea exsisted and did not understand. I was angry at my parents for “binding” me to this, and more angry at God and the Church for imposing the stupid rule in the first place.

Fortunately, I met some wonderful priests, who helped me and encouraged me and prayed with and for me. I had to wait a while for what I wanted, and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

You say you are worried that you got bad advice, IMHO, you have been given very loving and appropriate advice. It may be hard to hear, but please believe me when I say that your patience will be rewarded.

Peace be with you.

 

[Honour]

I agree. This is not a “religion of the book” - it is a religion that is lived in community. Your pastor is the person who makes these decisions - and picking and choosing from canon law isn’t really a very good way to get him on your side.

I know it’s a free world and all, but I would appreciate it you just stayed out of this conversation.

I have said numerous times that I understand that this matter is his call and that I just want to make sure everybody is operating with all the correct information, and that I am here seeking further understanding, advice on how to bring it up with the priest, and support from other Catholics.

I have never said that I am trying to “get the priest on my side” or make him see things my way…and I am not picking and choosing cannon law.

I am tired of defending myself and posts here, and I am tired of being bullied by you…so please stop.

 

[Honour]

I am grateful for all the information and advice I have received from well meaning people here. I think I now am better informed and have more points of view to consider, I am planning on meeting with the priest again to get a better understanding of why he said no.

At this point, I don’t want to decline into arguments so if a moderator would like to lock this thread I would be fine with that.

Thanks again.

 

[john78]

Note where the semicolon is and consider replacing it with a period so you have two separate ideas:

Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks. As soon as possible after the birth or even before it, they are to go to the pastor to request the sacrament for their child and to be prepared properly for it.

So as soon as possible after the birth – or even before the baby is born – they are to go to the pastor to request and prepare for the sacrament.

thanks for that grammar cop/ i hope: to,somehow ( figure out ) where one idea ! begins. and the other ends, because some people are just too slow to fill in the blanks on their own and still didn’t answer how an infant who is not born can be baptised.

but what ever lets not answer the question an instead throw off the thread with correcting grammar

 

[aemcpa]

thanks for that grammar cop/ i hope: to,somehow ( figure out ) where one idea ! begins. and the other ends, because some people are just too slow to fill in the blanks on their own and still didn’t answer how an infant who is not born can be baptised.

but what ever lets not answer the question an instead throw off the thread with correcting grammar

He answered your question. The answer is that, reading the sentence properly, it is clear that what is supposed to happen before birth is not baptism, but rather the arrangement of the ceremony and the required preparation.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

He answered your question. The answer is that, reading the sentence properly, it is clear that what is supposed to happen before birth is not baptism, but rather the arrangement of the ceremony and the required preparation.

Thank you! I’m glad someone understood what I was saying.