Infant Burial

[RainDown]

In 1948 my grandmother converted my grandfather, a Baptist, to Catholicism and then married him. They eventually had 14 children. Some find it hard to believe that they all come from the same two parents within the context of marriage. Anyway, after having their 13th children, she was pregnant again. One of my aunts told me that she never announced her pregnancies; everybody just figured it out after a while just by the way she looked. But after three months, she had a miscarriage during the middle of the night. I don’t think anybody could really tell she was pregnant after this short period of pregnancy.

She called in her oldest daughter while everybody was asleep. I think she was about 16 at the time. My grandmother needed help after going through a painful miscarriage. Being poor from already having 13 kids, my grandparents didn’t have much money for a funeral. So, my grandma, as told to me by the same aunt, secretly buried the baby behind the chicken coop on their farm. I’m not sure how she felt about this, but my aunt implied that my grandma buried her child (who she named Mary because she thought the baby was female) with agonizing sorrow. She shook it off and never told her any of her other kids. This aunt said she cried every time she looked at her mom. Nobody suspected anything until somebody told the others about 6 years later. They were pretty upset that they weren’t told, but there was nothing they could do.

So, my question is this: did my grandmother sin mortally by burying her baby herself, or no because she couldn’t afford it? Was it her fault by having so many children anyway? They still got by having the kids work that were old enough to do so. Each of them turned out well and most are financially sound, except maybe one or two.

Grandma was a strong woman who was very adamant about receiving the sacraments and going to Mass, and she still is. She’s now 81 years old, widowed about 7 and a half years ago, but she’s not capable of really taking care of herself because of a series of strokes that happened last year and this year. The first set affected memory, the second, facial features and the ability to speak well. She probably wouldn’t remember ever confessing this sin, which she probably has already done. But did she sin in the first place?

 

[Jolly_Joe]

It would be difficult to say that she sinned. If you simply come forward to today, the vast majority of children, and that includes Catholci children miscarried in the first three months are given no burial of any kind at all.

While there are some funeral given to miscarried children, most of them are from the later stages of pregnancy.

Even that has changed over the years. I have a sister in law buried outside the fence at a Catholic cemetary with those who committed suicide. She wasn’t baptized so the priest forbid burying her in the family plot. I’m told that varied from place to place. She wasn’t technically miscarried, she was stillborn. The difference being the size and age of the child. Most funerals given are for stillborn infants.

In any case, the numbers are quite high. Of the conceptions that take place, it is estimated that less than half produce a live birth. Many of those never implant so there is no placenta or anything so it is not even known.

An estimated 15 to 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage.

Go to any cemetary, you will find no where near that number of graves to account for those children.

Your grandmother cared for her child. I see no sin.

Note what the position of the Catholic Church is cuf.org/Faithfacts/details_view.asp?ffID=264

May unbaptized babies receive a Catholic funeral? What about miscarried babies? If a child’s parents intended to have their child baptized but the child died before the sacrament could be administered, the local ordinary may allow the child to have a Catholic funeral (cf. Canon 1183.2).

Likewise, a miscarried baby may receive a Catholic funeral, though a family is not required to formally bury a miscarried child. If a more developed unborn child dies and is delivered intact, parents often choose to bury the child. Otherwise, hospitals typically remove the remains as they do with human organs or bodily tissue removed during surgery. (Because most miscarriages occur in the first trimester, the remains are generally minimal and/or incomplete [as with a D & C procedure].) The different ways of laying the child’s body to rest in no way imply that a fetus at an earlier point of gestation is less than a person or less deserving of respect. Every human life is sacred, “from the moment of conception until death” (Catechism, no. 2319; cf. no. 2258).

 

[RainDown]

Thanks Jolly Joe. That really cleared it up. But from your response, I was wondering, how are the bodies of miscarried children disposed of, keeping in mind that they are still human and should be treated with dignity and respect?

 

[Jolly_Joe]

The standards call for recognizable human remains to be disposed of by incineration or internment unless doing so would be hazardous.

Nonrecognizable remains are either incinerated or they may be autoclaved and disposed of as non regulated solid waste.

The remains are put in plastic labeled bags and sealed and placed in containers, then there is often a company that comes on a regular basis and takes them to dispose of them. Large producers might do their own or have daily service, smaller ones would have biweekly or weekly pickups…

While it’s not meant to be disrespectful, I really doubt any of it would be what you mean when you would think of when you speak of treating them with dignity and respect.