Infatuation for Mary?

[JackVk]

Lately I have been fascinated with the Blessed Virgin and her role in my faith. I’ve read Scott Hahn’s Hail, Holy Queen and St. Louis Marie DeMonfort’s True Devotion to Mary. I’ve been studying the various apparitions, and Fatima is my favorite because of her powerful, sobering message there. I’ve been praying the rosary like crazy lately (prayed 10 decades yesterday). But am I going too far? Every time I think of her or see an image of her, she looks shockingly beautiful. I had a dream a couple weeks ago that she and I were hugging. When I’m in bed, I like to imagine that I am within her mantle and she is carrying me to Jesus. And just a few minutes ago, I saw an image of a Fatima statue, then ejaculated when I was going to the bathroom. I’ve been praising God for His extraordinary creation, but it all seems so awkward in the back of my mind. Does this mean I have a crush on God’s mother? Is this disordered or sinful?

 

[coolduude]

IMO, tone it down perhaps a little. When you pray the Rosary that much you run the risk of praying in vain:

These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.

Mathew 15:8

I’m not saying you are praying in vain, but praying that much makes you susceptible to it. Just try to stay pure of heart. Perhaps pray for purity and chastity? That could help. Also ask God for His will to be done, not yours. Lastly, place all your trust in God.

 

[JackVk]

IMO, tone it down perhaps a little. When you pray the Rosary that much you run the risk of praying in vain:
Mathew 15:8

I’m not saying you are praying in vain, but praying that much makes you susceptible to it. Just try to stay pure of heart. Perhaps pray for purity and chastity? That could help. Also ask God for His will to be done, not yours. Lastly, place all your trust in God.

I strive to do all things with a pure heart. I detest any illicit attraction, let alone to the Mother of God! I shouldn’t even think of that in my wildest dream! I know all the rosary mysteries by heart and pray each one with great love and sincerity (one strategy is to say the Hail Marys very slowly, and quote the Scriptural verses before each decade). I go to Mass daily and adoration often.

As for ejaculating involuntarily, this happens to me fairly often. My mom is a nurse and says it happens sometimes when a guy has been sitting down for too long.

 

[coolduude]

I strive to do all things with a pure heart. I detest any illicit attraction, let alone to the Mother of God! I shouldn’t even think of that in my wildest dream! I know all the rosary mysteries by heart and pray each one with great love and sincerity (one strategy is to say the Hail Marys very slowly, and quote the Scriptural verses before each decade). I go to Mass daily and adoration often.

As for ejaculating involuntarily, this happens to me fairly often. My mom is a nurse and says it happens sometimes when a guy has been sitting down for too long.

It all checks out for me then. I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. Just my opinion though.

 

[Angel7]

It doesn’t seem like this is an action of your will. is it?

I’m not 100% sure, but if you don’t will or want that act which you think is wrong, then it isn’t mortal sin. right?

 

[PAboy57]

I strive to do all things with a pure heart. I detest any illicit attraction, let alone to the Mother of God! I shouldn’t even think of that in my wildest dream! I know all the rosary mysteries by heart and pray each one with great love and sincerity (one strategy is to say the Hail Marys very slowly, and quote the Scriptural verses before each decade). I go to Mass daily and adoration often.

how about adding some variety to your prayer based on your OP.

I am also a fan of the Divine Mercy Chaplet. You may pray on your beads and focus on the passion of Christ.

Another good one is St. Michael’s Chaplet. These two should help bring diversity.

God Bless

 

[JackVk]

It doesn’t seem like this is an action of your will. is it?

I’m not 100% sure, but if you don’t will or want that act which you think is wrong, then it isn’t mortal sin. right?

Well, no it’s not. So I guess I am in the clear! After thinking about it for a little, this attraction to Mary is very likely to be godly and holy. All beauty comes from God, and I find myself praising and thanking God for Mary. Her beauty should remind me of the motherly love she has for me, and ultimately the love that God has for me and His infinite glory.

 

[JackVk]

how about adding some variety to your prayer based on your OP.

I am also a fan of the Divine Mercy Chaplet. You may pray on your beads and focus on the passion of Christ.

Another good one is St. Michael’s Chaplet. These two should help bring diversity.

God Bless

I pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet sometimes too. But I usually do it after the rosary for the day (like I said, I really took the message of Fatima to heart).

 

[HisLamb]

Well, that fact that you think something may be amiss, might just mean something is amiss. I find that when my conscience is pestering me–even vaguely-- that something is not right. Our Lady is a beautiful intercessor and should be given a special place in our hearts. She is our spiritual mother. But remember that it is in Christ that she is our mother. Scripture makes clear that our eyes should be fixed on Jesus.

Although the Rosary is often thought of as a devotional to Mary, it is really all about Jesus. Since you said that you try to do all things with purity of heart, I’ll assume that when you pray the Rosary you are contemplating the mysteries of Christ. Only two of the mysteries are directly related to Mary-- although Mary is present to most of them as she was present to Jesus. Some things to ask yourself as you examine this issue: do you feel that you are contemplating the mysteries with Christ as your focus or Mary? In general, are you thinking about Mary more than you are Jesus? In the images of your mind, your imagination or dreams, is it more Mary or Jesus? If Jesus is the overwhelming focus of these things, I’d say no worries. But if you find that thoughts of Mary overwhelm thoughts of Jesus, you might want to change your devotional life until you can get a handle on it.

 

[JackVk]

Well, that fact that you think something may be amiss, might just mean something is amiss. I find that when my conscience is pestering me–even vaguely-- that something is not right. Our Lady is a beautiful intercessor and should be given a special place in our hearts. She is our spiritual mother. But remember that it is in Christ that she is our mother. Scripture makes clear that our eyes should be fixed on Jesus.

Although the Rosary is often thought of as a devotional to Mary, it is really all about Jesus. Since you said that you try to do all things with purity of heart, I’ll assume that when you pray the Rosary you are contemplating the mysteries of Christ. Only two of the mysteries are directly related to Mary-- although Mary is present to most of them as she was present to Jesus. Some things to ask yourself as you examine this issue: do you feel that you are contemplating the mysteries with Christ as your focus or Mary? In general, are you thinking about Mary more than you are Jesus? In the images of your mind, your imagination or dreams, is it more Mary or Jesus? If Jesus is the overwhelming focus of these things, I’d say no worries. But if you find that thoughts of Mary overwhelm thoughts of Jesus, you might want to change your devotional life until you can get a handle on it.

I always remember that Jesus is the reason she is here for us. I keep a prayer journal, and when I write to Mary, I always make sure the message asks, one way or another, for her to being me to Jesus. I have feared through all of this that I might take my eye off the ball and start worshipping Mary, so I make sure that Jesus is always the focus.