Infertility + Validity of Marriage

[busymeister]

I’d like to share some of my thoughts regarding marriage and infertility and ask for advice and hints to find the answers to some of my open questions. In particular, I’m interested in Biblical evidence rather than doctrine so pointers to Bible verses supporting any arguments are most appreciated.

Consider baptism as a comparison for a moment. A person is not saved because a preacher pours water on them and declares them members of Christ. A person is saved the moment they accept in their heart that Jesus is their Savior, which happens/should happen before baptism/confirmation. Baptism/Confirmation is simply the ceremony that expresses that commitment publicly; it is not a requirement for salvation. The state of the heart is the requirement.

How far do similar thoughts/conclusions apply to marriage? When does marriage occur? What exactly is marriage at the core? God makes the bond between the man and the woman, which we know because of Matthew 19:6 “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Therefore, a man and woman cannot be married simply because a preacher declares them to be married. So when does the bond form between a man and a woman? If I am talking nonsense here, then I humbly ask for correction.

Furthermore, I cannot see God being forced to make a bond that He does not approve. Who is man to force God to do anything? Thus, I cannot assume that just because a man presents a woman he wants as his wife before an altar that God will necessarily join them. This implies in my understanding then that God already has marriage partnerships planned for us (just like He has particular leaders planned for countries despite what the people may want, such as in the case of Saul and David (1 Samuel 8; 1 Samuel 16)) and therefore, we should be actively looking for that approved partner (as opposed to the contradictory view that we “shop” for the person we want or think we want and then marry them according to our own will). I see parallels here with the politics of the Old Testament. There were kings that God approved to lead the people; the people were free to make a choice against God’s will, which typically resulted in hardships and war until God’s chosen leader was placed in power (as I mentioned regarding Saul and David). Is it safe to make such assumptions about a predestined marriage partner?

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[Vico]

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[1] When does marriage occur?
When the couple makes the covenant, and for the Baptized it is with approval of the Church and is then a sacrament (per Catholic teaching).
[2] What exactly is marriage at the core?
Matrimonial consent is a free act of the will by which a man and a woman mutually give and accept each other through an irrevocable covenant in order to establish marriage – a cooperation, exclusive and lifelong and with openness to children that may occur.
[3] So when does the bond form between a man and a woman?
When it is given (with approval of the Church) and properly witnessed. They become one flesh only when consummated.
[4] Who is man to force God to do anything?
Man does not have power over God, however God gave mankind free will.
[5] Is it safe to make such assumptions about a predestined marriage partner?

 

[Arkansan]

Catholics (and some Protestants such as Lutherans) believe that the sacraments actually confer grace rather than symbolize it.

Whether or not a person ought to marry a given person, once they have then they are married. If the validity of marriages depended on the person actually being called by God to marry a particular person, then no marriage would be certainly valid, and such a situation would cause extremely grave harm to human society.