Infertility

[Convert_in_99]

Just thought I would introduce myself! My husband and I just got married in January and through my NFP charting and a really nice OB we are figuring out exactly what is going on with our fertility or lack there of. My OB thinks I might have Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome and if you could keep my in your prayers, next Monday I am going in to get all of the tests done to confirm this and then we will decide what type of treatment plan we are going to go forward with.

This has been a hard struggle for my husband and I, even though it has only been a few months. We are both young, only 22 so we have many years to figure this out and TRUST GOD (sometimes I have to remind myself)!!! I think it was hardest when I told family and they thought it would be helpful to tell me maybe it is good since our financial situation isn’t the best and I child would be a burden. I know they were just trying to console me but seriously!!!

Welcome! Congrats on your recent marriage! :clapping: I am rather new here too. I am also on the young side, only two years your senior (well, almost three, but who’s counting ) I was 23 when I got married, and my husband and I have been married for 16 beautiful months. We are probably known as the non-NFP users on this forum. You can scroll up for all the reasons/points and particulars.

You’ll be fine! There is SO much hope out there for you. You are young, very young. And your husband is also young (the husband’s age can make such a difference.)

I am so glad you and your husband can afford these diagnostics/treatments. Not to contradict a mother tsktsk but I think that if you can afford these treatments, you could afford a baby. Unless you just have that AWESOME of an insurance provider! Good luck with your treatments!

I will pray for you. Please pray for us too. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 16 months now, and still no baby blessings. But, we believe in miracles! :heaven: Whatever child we conceive at this point (God willing) will be no less than miracle of God!

Well, I look foward to hearing from you. You sound like a wonderful young woman. (If I stress the young enough, can I not turn the big 2-5? )

 

[MegSisk]

Welcome! Congrats on your recent marriage! :clapping: I am rather new here too. I am also on the young side, only two years your senior (well, almost three, but who’s counting ) I was 23 when I got married, and my husband and I have been married for 16 beautiful months. We are probably known as the non-NFP users on this forum. You can scroll up for all the reasons/points and particulars.

You’ll be fine! There is SO much hope out there for you. You are young, very young. And your husband is also young (the husband’s age can make such a difference.)

I am so glad you and your husband can afford these diagnostics/treatments. Not to contradict a mother tsktsk but I think that if you can afford these treatments, you could afford a baby. Unless you just have that AWESOME of an insurance provider! Good luck with your treatments!

I will pray for you. Please pray for us too. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 16 months now, and still no baby blessings. But, we believe in miracles! :heaven: Whatever child we conceive at this point (God willing) will be no less than miracle of God!

Well, I look foward to hearing from you. You sound like a wonderful young woman. (If I stress the young enough, can I not turn the big 2-5? )

Thanks so much for the kind words and encouragement! If were blessed with a child, it is true we would struggle (my husband is apply for med school so we have a long road ahead of us) but we believe it is a sacrifice we are willing to make for such a wonderful blessing from God!

You and your husband are in my prayers! And don’t worry too much about turning 25!! Oh I almost forgot, I am a convert too. I joined the church in 2006! What a blessing!

 

[Convert_in_99]

Thanks so much for the kind words and encouragement! If were blessed with a child, it is true we would struggle (my husband is apply for med school so we have a long road ahead of us) but we believe it is a sacrifice we are willing to make for such a wonderful blessing from God!

You and your husband are in my prayers! And don’t worry too much about turning 25!! Oh I almost forgot, I am a convert too. I joined the church in 2006! What a blessing!

CONVERTS UNITE! :grouphug:

Thanks for your kind words too! I think we are very much in similar boats. I just hope yours gets sailing a little quicker than ours! Twenty five’s not bad, it just sounds old (for me.) But they have been 25 grace filled years, so I can’t complain!

Keep in touch! I am sure you’ll see me around. I check this site at least twice a day! God bless you and your husband. :heaven:

 

[Chovy]

Here’s a question for those of you on this thread- what do you do on Mother’s day to keep your mind off of things? Next Sunday, my DH is going out of town at 1 and I’ll be here alone, and have no friends here. Our former foster baby was born on Mother’s day last year, and though we’ve been invited to her birthday party next weekend (in Nebraska, we’re now in Penn.), I don’t think I can stomach seeing her on Mother’s day when I still have no babies and no possibility of starting the adoption process again until Sept/Oct. Any good tips for having a fun day.

 

[Teakafrog]

I would concentrate on your own mother, either earthly or spiritually (Mary). Do something very special for your mom, or spend the day in prayer to our merciful Mother. She can give me peace even when I feel like there is no peace to be had. I prayed a lot to Our Lady of Guadalupe when dealing with the worst of the depression infertility brings. OLG said “Am I not here, who am your Mother?” I’ll be praying for all of us longing for children, or more children on mother’s day. :grouphug:

 

[Convert_in_99]

Here’s a question for those of you on this thread- what do you do on Mother’s day to keep your mind off of things? Next Sunday, my DH is going out of town at 1 and I’ll be here alone, and have no friends here. Our former foster baby was born on Mother’s day last year, and though we’ve been invited to her birthday party next weekend (in Nebraska, we’re now in Penn.), I don’t think I can stomach seeing her on Mother’s day when I still have no babies and no possibility of starting the adoption process again until Sept/Oct. Any good tips for having a fun day.

I am so sorry that your husband has to go out of town on this day of all days. I am sure, though, it can’t be helped. This day is a tough one for me too. My parents and inlaws both live out of state and several away at that. All of my grandparents are deceased, and I have no children of my own.

Here’s what I usually do. First, I call my parents and in-laws on that day (of course.) As for the rest of the day I try to think of all those parents who are struggling to accept life for a child within the womb (contemplating abortion,) or who are struggling to accept another child from God (contracepting, using NFP selfishly, etc.) I spend time thinking of and praying for these persons. I offer my longing to have a child, but inability to do so for those who are able, but are stubbornly saying no to life (or another life.)

Just a suggestion. I will pray for you. I know its a very hard time and I ask God’s blessings upon you and your husband. Maybe you could give some of your family/friends a call or email them on that day. If that is not possible, I can make sure to hop online sometime after 1:00 so you have someone to talk to. I am sure others would be willing too also. I am also sure that we all know how hard it is too feel alone, let alone actually being alone when husbands have to travel or work. We must stick together and help one another through prayers and support. Please know that I am here for you (well, as much as I can be online)

May God bless you and Mary keep you! :heaven:

 

[dkoinzan]

My daughter Theresa was stillborn last Mother’s Day. I plan to spend the day in my flower garden dedicated to her and Joseph who was born 14 weeks after conception on Nov. 6th. I concentrate on Mary my heavenly Mother alot on Mother’s Day. We gave baby Theresa to her as her gift last year. It is hard, but I know God has something better than ever planned for me on Mother’s Day. What ever happens I will receive the grace to get through it and I will make it alittle closer to heaven.

 

[Chovy]

Thank you for the good ideas everyone. I’m still considering flying home for the weekend so I could spend time with my sisters and mom, but the timing is a bit difficult as my DH and I have had almost no time together and I feel I should stay here until he is leaving at least.

I grieve for all of us, not just myself, and when I think about my heartbreak sometimes it is good to know that there are others out there who are struggling with the same things.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Thank you for the good ideas everyone. I’m still considering flying home for the weekend so I could spend time with my sisters and mom, but the timing is a bit difficult as my DH and I have had almost no time together and I feel I should stay here until he is leaving at least.

I grieve for all of us, not just myself, and when I think about my heartbreak sometimes it is good to know that there are others out there who are struggling with the same things.

I think the flight home to see family would be a good idea. I can’t judge your situation, but I would think that your husband could understand your need to be with family on such a significant, yet difficult day as Mother’s Day. It would be good to see your own mother on Mother’s Day if it is possible. Life is so precious and short, we never know when it could be their last.

Do you work? If not, maybe you can leave when your husband does, and get back when he does. If you do, is work flexible enough to take a day or two off to do the same?

I thank you for your thoughts! You are so kind! We are all close to the cross of Christ right now. I am always consoled by Jesus’s precious words “blessed are the wombs which never bore, and the breasts which never nursed.” Jesus has a special plan for us too, I am just anxious as all get out to discover what that special something is!

I continue to pray for all of you, and, I am consoled to know that you pray for me also. This is a most special thread, I think you all are great. God bless you and Mary keep you. :heaven:

 

[Giannawannabe]

Here’s a question for those of you on this thread- what do you do on Mother’s day to keep your mind off of things? Next Sunday, my DH is going out of town at 1 and I’ll be here alone, and have no friends here. Our former foster baby was born on Mother’s day last year, and though we’ve been invited to her birthday party next weekend (in Nebraska, we’re now in Penn.), I don’t think I can stomach seeing her on Mother’s day when I still have no babies and no possibility of starting the adoption process again until Sept/Oct. Any good tips for having a fun day.

Chovy,
My heart breaks for you. I remember crying all the way through Mass on Mother’s Day. Father would have all the mothers stand for a special blessing, and it was just so painful.
My suggestion, if you can’t fly in to see your mom and sister, is to spend the day doing things that you love doing. Go for a walk, go shopping, get some good movies to watch. Go to a very, very early Mass so as to avoid as much of the Mother’s Day brouhaha as you can. Remember that Mother’s Day is really a very recent “holiday”. One of those Hallmark type things. Somehow that made me feel better, too.
Also, try very hard to offer your pain for your intentions(becoming a mother) and for those babies who are at peril of abortion. I have also offered my infertility pain for those who contracept or who are having children out of wedlock. That is probably the most helpful of all. Using my pain for the good of others.
On Mother’s Day, I will remember all of you in my prayers and at Mass.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Chovy,
My heart breaks for you. I remember crying all the way through Mass on Mother’s Day. Father would have all the mothers stand for a special blessing, and it was just so painful.
My suggestion, if you can’t fly in to see your mom and sister, is to spend the day doing things that you love doing. Go for a walk, go shopping, get some good movies to watch. Go to a very, very early Mass so as to avoid as much of the Mother’s Day brouhaha as you can. Remember that Mother’s Day is really a very recent “holiday”. One of those Hallmark type things. Somehow that made me feel better, too.
Also, try very hard to offer your pain for your intentions(becoming a mother) and for those babies who are at peril of abortion. I have also offered my infertility pain for those who contracept or who are having children out of wedlock. That is probably the most helpful of all. Using my pain for the good of others.
On Mother’s Day, I will remember all of you in my prayers and at Mass.

Thanks Giannawannabe, you’ll be mine too!

 

[Chovy]

So today I get to go meet with my new/fill-in doctor. I was lucky enough to live in Omaha, home of the PPVI institute up until Jan. of this year, but now I would have to go by plane to see them, so today I get to meet with a doctor trained by my doctor.

This is my 6 week surgery follow-up and I’m really hoping she will remove the drainage wick that I have in my abdomen. I had an infection that didn’t go away by antibiotics, so I had to have part of my incision re-opened, and then Dr. Hilgers put in about 3 ft. of a gauze-like substance, with 1 inch of it hanging out of me. Each day I get to pull it out a little bit more, but I’m so sick of it, and DH can’t stand to look at it, and it’s been a ridiculously long time since we were able to be intimate.

Anything new with anyone here? I am so blessed to have such kind and holy ladies here to boost me up when I am down. My natural reaction to this cross of infertility is just the opposite of what it should be, and your strength seems to make up for what is lacking in me.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Chovy,

I am SO sorry you are so sick right now. I hope the doctor can get you back to normal soon. :console:

Please let us know how the doctor apt. goes today. I will pray for you.

There’s no news here. Still trying. Still no luck. BUT, I am discovering how much I have to be thankful for. I have been visiting this other thread to for “loneliness.” There are so many hurting people out there, and they don’t even have the wonderful spouses that we do to help them through it. So much to be thankful for in the midst of it all!

Take care, and, again, let us know how it went (when you feel up to it.)

 

[aurora77]

Yeah, our insurance would cover all the contraceptive devices and pills we could want, as well as elective abortion. But of course fertility testing is too much to ask. I guess I should be grateful that they at least cover prenatal and infant/child care for those who need it.

Your insurance covers abortion!!! That’s crazy. Ours doesn’t cover infertility, but at least it doesn’t allow for abortions, too.

I understand where you’re coming from with regard to testing. DH and I talked beforehand about what we were willing to spend. We don’t want to spend huge amounts of money just to be told “you’re infertile, we don’t know why” and then not have money for adoptions.

Fortunately, the gyn that I saw worked with us, and wrote my first visit up as having cycle issues (which I legitamately have, I did not want to lie about anything). For good or bad, I haven’t decided which, he did find something that is probably related to our infertility, but is a definite problem whether we want to have children or not, so the insurance so far is doing their part.

I bet everyone here knows this, but just a reminder–doctor’s offices and hospitals will work out payment plans for services. I had another major surgery a couple of years ago (go me, cyst girl ) and went to several doctors and had several procedures done and in every case, they worked out a payment plan. At that point we weren’t making much money and most of our payments were $25 a month. We were spending about $150-$200 a month, broken down into separate $25 payments.

 

[aurora77]

Here’s a question for those of you on this thread- what do you do on Mother’s day to keep your mind off of things?

I don’t recommend this for others, but this mother’s day, I’m hopefully going to be home from the hospital, on painkillers from a semi major surgery (or I’ll still be in the hospital, bored out of my mind and on pain meds). The drugs will keep my mind off of things .

I’m not trying to make fun of a concern, but I’m a little freaked out over this surgery, so I’ve got to crack jokes! I really like the idea of going to visit your mom. I’d also suggest just staying home (go to Mass, of course, but nothing else) and hanging out with DH, doing something fun.

 

[Convert_in_99]

I understand where you’re coming from with regard to testing. DH and I talked beforehand about what we were willing to spend. We don’t want to spend huge amounts of money just to be told “you’re infertile, we don’t know why” and then not have money for adoptions.

This is kind of where we are at too. Adoption is VERY expensive. We are going to put that money straight into adopting. :yup: We hope to start saving more significantly towards this in about two years! Darn college!

I am sorry, I didn’t catch what surgery you were having, nor when. :doh2: One of those brain fart moments I guess! Anyways, I hope you are doing OK.

Let us know the dates of the surgery (again for stupid here) and we will pray for you!

 

[Chovy]

Well a mixed report I guess from the doctor yesterday. She hadn’t had time to read my chart, but I am to come back next Tuesday and she’s hoping that my wick will be finished draining by then. I had high hopes that she would just pull the rest of it out, but at least she didn’t think it looked bad.

Today AF is due so I will be calling for my monthly chart review and to get my prescriptions for this month. We are not on heavy duty meds (well as heavy duty as PPVI prescribes) this month but I’m hopeful that by the end of next week we’ll be able to be intimate again. Surgery and trying to avoid a pregnancy (doctor’s orders) stink, and throwing in our travel schedules has made this a really, really, long 3 months.

 

[MegSisk]

I had my doctors appointment and then my ultrasound and blood work. We have not gotten the results of the fasting glucose, insulin and FSH tests but the ultrasound showed many cysts on both ovaries. Even though I had so many, the doctor was still hopeful that we could eventually conceive. Now we just wait on the blood work.

My gyn. is Catholic and I was telling her about our upcoming trip to Italy. She said well you never know say a little prayer and have alot of fun and maybe you’ll be pregnant when you get back! It made me smile but was also a reminder to keep praying!

 

[dkoinzan]

Last year baby Theresa was born dead on Mother’s Day. She died 31 weeks after conception. I miss her! Could you say a little prayer that I am strong on Mother’s Day. We will be at my inlaws. I would prefer to just stay home, but that’s not an option. I will offer it up for all on this sight.

 

[Chovy]

Dkoinzan I have had you in my prayers since reading your beautiful obituary for your son. My suffering seems so slight in comparison to what you must be going through. I hope that you are able to spend time with your family here with you on earth this weekend and know that your children in heaven are in the arms of their heavenly Mother and Father.