Infertility

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Aurora,

we were going through the infertility thing. I was at a conference for RCIA committee members. I said a prayer “God please let me have another child to love.” A man I didn’t know turns to me and starts telling me the story of how he and his wife adopted their only daughter. I thought it was quite weird that a man I didn’t know was telling me this personal story. It took me several months to figure out that we were to adopt. I think I knew but the urge just kept getting stronger. Turns out the month that this man was telling me the story was the same month that my 1st adopted son would have been conceived. Keep your eyes open for God’s signs.
 
Crack addicts wouldn’t be able to adopt. Nice normal well adjusted married couples can.
 
A separate experience about adoption that I wanted to share: My wife and I were in Orlando when we started to pursue adopting. There was no Catholic Charities office there, but the diocese contributed to a ‘Christian’ adoption agency. We met with them and took their questionairre home. While filling it out, my wife and I realized that some of the questions had been very carefully constructed to ‘weed out’ the Catholics from the other Christians. We answered all questions honestly, which gave us away as Catholics. We were rejected because our religious views were ‘not consistent with the type of family they wanted to place children in’. Wow, that was a personal blow.

In the end, we adopted two healthy, beautiful girls from birth. One will be 12 years old next month, the other will be 3.

In both of these adoptions, the signs from God were there. They needed us, and we were to be there for them.

Dan
 
I have a friend with a similar experience. She and her husband had to get a letter from their priest stating that they were Christians. She said they were questioned constantly by the agency about whether they were Christians. She said it helped her learn more about her Catholic faith. They did adopt with that agency and have a wonderful son.
 
mom2boyz said:
Crack addicts wouldn’t be able to adopt. Nice normal well adjusted married couples can.
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Good point! I was just really feeling sorry for myself yesterday; I can see the good that is going to come out of it. I know we’ll have the family that God intends for us to have. We just have to be patient.

I had my one week check up today and everything looks good. My doc said I’m doing really well and he thinks a large part of that is my attitude (except for those small bouts of self pity, I’m mostly optimistic and greatful). He said that I officially have stage 2b borderline ovarian cancer, so I see an oncologist tomorrow (again, so greatful I could see him so quickly, he is the only gynecologic oncologist in the area). It sounds very treatable, but we’ll find out our options tomorrow.
 
Dan_Grelinger said:
A separate experience about adoption that I wanted to share: My wife and I were in Orlando when we started to pursue adopting. There was no Catholic Charities office there, but the diocese contributed to a ‘Christian’ adoption agency. We met with them and took their questionairre home. While filling it out, my wife and I realized that some of the questions had been very carefully constructed to ‘weed out’ the Catholics from the other Christians. We answered all questions honestly, which gave us away as Catholics. We were rejected because our religious views were ‘not consistent with the type of family they wanted to place children in’. Wow, that was a personal blow.

In the end, we adopted two healthy, beautiful girls from birth. One will be 12 years old next month, the other will be 3.

In both of these adoptions, the signs from God were there. They needed us, and we were to be there for them.

Dan
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That’s a shame they weren’t able to help you! CC in Orlando has been assisting in adoptions for a while… ccorlando.org/general.shtml

But I’m glad you’ve had a positive experience overall and have those two beautiful girls…
 
About the Catholic Charities in Orlando. There is an office now that does assist:)

However, about those particular agencies that were weeding certain people out. I most definitely can imagine it. I work with at risk youth in the Orlando area. We do have several young women who are exspecting. A large number look to keep their children, despite the hardships, but there are some that do seek out adoption. There are a few wonderful agencies, but there is one in particular that I don’t like to contact. They say that they are a christian agency, and I suspect catholic. However, they are soooo rude when my girls and I speak with them.

They berate the girls for having a child out of wedlock, tell them they should get married, and when the girls state that marriage is not an option, they get extrememly pushy about adoption.

It’s to the point, where we avoid them. This is already a difficult situation for these ladies and with that kind of attitude and lack of charity, our girls withdraw.

I do say that in searching for an agency, look for one that is very involved with the mothers, and really extends themselves to the mothers through medical care and concern, housing (if needed), counseling, etc.
 
Just wanted you to know I am still praying for everyone! 🙂 I have been REALLY busy…so I am not up to date on this (or any thread really.) Blessings to all! :gopray2:
 
I just wanted to throw this out because I am in the same boat as some of you in terms of not getting pregnant. We’ve been trying for about 1 1/2 years with no luck. But something I learned recently might be helpful to some of you.

We’re always told what a wonderful food soy is. Little is said about the phyto-estrogens, though, and I’ve come to find out through reading and talking to certain friends that soy is actually 3 to 5 times more powerful than the birth control pill, so if you eat or drink a lot of soy, you may be contracepting without even knowing it. If you have too much estrogen in your body, from whatever source, it’s hard to get pregnant. So throw out the soy and focus on nutrient-dense foods.

Just my 2 cents. God bless everyone!! And good luck!
 
Anna, I read that about soy too. I used to drink soy milk instead of cow’s and ate tofu. I cut all that out b/c of the potential infertility effect. It didn’t help me, but I am an unusual case.

I’m glad you brought this up; I’m starting my menopause symptoms (hot flashes and insomnia, oh what fun, can’t I put this off another 10 years :rolleyes: ). My doc initially said I wouldn’t be able to do hormone replacement therapy b/c of the estrogen and my cancer–I wonder if I have to avoid soy too? Thanks for mentioning this, I’m going to add it to my list of questions. I know this isn’t what you intended when you were posting, but thanks!
 
AnnaTherese said:
I just wanted to throw this out because I am in the same boat as some of you in terms of not getting pregnant. We’ve been trying for about 1 1/2 years with no luck. But something I learned recently might be helpful to some of you.

We’re always told what a wonderful food soy is. Little is said about the phyto-estrogens, though, and I’ve come to find out through reading and talking to certain friends that soy is actually 3 to 5 times more powerful than the birth control pill, so if you eat or drink a lot of soy, you may be contracepting without even knowing it. If you have too much estrogen in your body, from whatever source, it’s hard to get pregnant. So throw out the soy and focus on nutrient-dense foods.

Just my 2 cents. God bless everyone!! And good luck!
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:bigyikes: I guess it’s just carrots and celery for me! 😃

Welcome! I am glad that you have come to join us. My story is just like yours. According to “the ticker” we’ve been married 15 months now. Still no luck for us either. 😦

Thanks for the tip. Lots of foods are supposedly bad for fertility, maybe we should just avoid eating altogether and then see what happens. If nothing else, maybe I can shed those 20 lbs I’ve been wanting to drop! 😉

On a more serious note, I do not believe it is the same as contracepting. The intention is not there. I take lots of steriods for my asthma that mess with my fertility, but are actually quite safe for baby, if only I could get him/her there. But if I don’t take them, I will die and baby will die.

The intention is a BIG factor. However, it IS really good advice…thanks! 🙂
 
I wonder about the soy. The Chinese have been eating it as a major dietary staple for years, and their population is well over 1 billion and growing, even with the one-child policies. And I agree with Convert in 99, people who eat soy aren’t doing it for the contraceptive effects (if there really are any). It would be like accusing child-bearing women who eat blueberries or take hot baths of contracepting.
 
SeekerJan,

What’s the deal with blueberries? Was that a joke or is there a problem with blueberries?

I LOVE blueberries, please tell me they’re okay:)
 
waitngnjyflhope said:
SeekerJan,

What’s the deal with blueberries? Was that a joke or is there a problem with blueberries?

I LOVE blueberries, please tell me they’re okay:)
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I seem to remember reading that they could be a culprit if you’re struggling with infertility/early miscarriage, and if you’re struggling with those issues you might want to lay off eating them during your post-ovulatory phase. But considering that this info came from people who also suggested setting up a fertility goddess shrine above one’s bed, I would take this with a grain of salt (just as I would take the cautions against soy, caffeine, low-fat dairy, etc.) I still eat blueberries. Not eating them had no effect on my fertility. I love them frozen on cereal, topped with soy milk. 🙂
 
SeekerJen said:
I seem to remember reading that they could be a culprit if you’re struggling with infertility/early miscarriage, and if you’re struggling with those issues you might want to lay off eating them during your post-ovulatory phase. But considering that this info came from people who also suggested setting up a fertility goddess shrine above one’s bed, I would take this with a grain of salt (just as I would take the cautions against soy, caffeine, low-fat dairy, etc.) I still eat blueberries. Not eating them had no effect on my fertility. I love them frozen on cereal, topped with soy milk. 🙂
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Great…cause I am not giving them up…nor my skim milk! 😉
 
SeekerJen said:
I wonder about the soy. The Chinese have been eating it as a major dietary staple for years, and their population is well over 1 billion and growing, even with the one-child policies. And I agree with Convert in 99, people who eat soy aren’t doing it for the contraceptive effects (if there really are any). It would be like accusing child-bearing women who eat blueberries or take hot baths of contracepting.
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Actually they don’t each a huge amount of it. They generally only eat about 2 tbsp a day if that much, so it’s not really a major part of their diet. Think of when you go to a Chinese restaurant. How much tofu do you have on your plate? How much soy sauce? Not much, really. It’s usually a small amount crumbled into the dish. Soy sauce is so salty that it’s easy to overdo, so I really don’t believe that about them.

I think I was pretty clear in saying that if you eat a lot of soy you might be contracepting without even knowing it. I’m certainly not judging anyone’s intentions, just pointing out something that might be helpful. Geesh.
 
AnnaTherese said:
Actually they don’t each a huge amount of it. They generally only eat about 2 tbsp a day if that much, so it’s not really a major part of their diet. Think of when you go to a Chinese restaurant. How much tofu do you have on your plate? How much soy sauce? Not much, really. It’s usually a small amount crumbled into the dish. Soy sauce is so salty that it’s easy to overdo, so I really don’t believe that about them.

I think I was pretty clear in saying that if you eat a lot of soy you might be contracepting without even knowing it. I’m certainly not judging anyone’s intentions, just pointing out something that might be helpful. Geesh.
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Hmm, after working with a lot of Chinese people, I wouldn’t consider American “Chinese” restaurants to be accurate representations of traditional Chinese food. My undergrad nutrition professor was from China (immigrated here for college), and told us stories about how making homemade tofu and soy milk were done by every household in her community. Soy was plentiful, meat was expensive, and most of them were lactose-intolerant, so soy was indeed a dietary staple.
 
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