Infertility

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Dear everybody.
Thank you.
I know my story of infertility and struggles is short compared to many of yours. But still I know this anger, willsfirecracke is talking about. Sometimes I just feel like I want to scream my lungs out, just to get all this fear, frustration and dissapointment out. But still it hids me when you write that you will never be able to have a baby. I believe in miracles. I believe that some people have a special gift of healing. Where I live there are a few people who tour the country, preach the Gospel and lay hands of people. And there are always many people who get healed. Even infertile couples. They send out a monthly little magazine with testimonies and there are almost always a story from an ex-infertile couple and a picture of a beautiful child. I hope we will not lose hope, and that we will come out of this strenghtened whatever may happen. But I sometimes think that our Church is so focused on the “glory” of suffering that the part about miracles is forgotten. In the Bible it say “and they brought all their sick to Him and He healed everyone”.
I hope I dont offend anyone with this kind of talk. But I was once healed too. It was the strangest thing. And even if my mind will never grasp it I am convinced that Jesus laid His hands on me, through the person who prayed for me, and healed me.
Praised be His Name forever:)
Anni
 
Hi Everyone 👋
I hope you don’t mind me posting here, but I have an infertility-related question… and prayer request.:gopray:

My family just found out that my brother and sister-in-law have been struggling with infertility for a year and a half. 😦

They are still checking her – she is scheduled for an HSG to see if her fallopian tubes are open, and she is very scared – but it turns out at this point, they have found that my brother’s sperm count is zero. 😦

Long story short, my brother needed to have surgery when he was 3 and had to have one testicle removed. The one that was left was undescended and apparently it looks like there is scar tissue there now that is blocking the release of sperm. They’ve checked his testosterone levels and they appear to be fine so they are thinking it is this physical “blockage” issue and not a “production” issue.

I think there is a surgery they are looking into doing to try and “open him up”, but are there any other options available to them? This is all new to them and obviously new to me, so if you have any suggestions, we would sure take them.

And prayers of course are always, always welcome.

It breaks my heart to see what they are going through… and I know you guys are going through it too. I just can’t even imagine. Bless you all for bearing this cross. :gopray2:

Humbly yours,
SBH
 
Praying for your brother, SavedbyHim!

It can be so painful, emotionally, for men to struggle with infertility. I don’t know if some just have so much of their manhood wrapped up in it or what. It could be an embarrassment to talk about it and so they suffer in silence. Only God knows for sure.

My thoughts are probably off-base and might just be rooted in a stereotype. I haven’t had the chance to discuss infertility with that many men. But the ones I have known have been very reluctant to discuss it while the wives and I can talk for hours.

Anyway, praying for your bro! So thoughtful of you to ask for prayers for him.
 
Willsfirecracke said:
Hey everyone, I’m new here. LittleDeb made me join. I am getting married in July. I haven’t been on the most Catholic road, but I am working my way back. My future sister in law just found out she is pregnant. She is unmarried and young. I have PCOS and I want to be excited for my future sister in law. But my jelously and anger are getting in the way.

I cant help but feel that she doesnt deserve this little blessing. She didnt even try to conceive. And she is also no where near ready or responsible.

It just isnt fair that I have to try so hard to conceive. And then on top of trying to get pregnant trying to carry to term. I feel so alone with this.

I keep hearing from other women that they “know what im going through.” Oh do you? You know what it’s like to wake up every morning and one of the first things you have to do is take meds just to TRY and increase your fertility? You know what it’'s like to have to sit on the sidelines while friends and family get to jump in and fully submerge themselves in this wonderful experience? Meanwhile the women saying this have 3-4 kids bouncing off the walls… oh yeah… you totally understand!

When will people around me REALLY understand? I’m in pain… and i’m scared… and I’m mad. And they JUST DONT GET IT!
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Hi Willsfirecracker! 👋

I have PCOS too and just wanted to say that just because you have PCOS doesn’t mean you won’t be blessed with children. You said you aren’t married yet, so if you haven’t started trying, you could very well be one of those lucky girls who get pregnant right away even with PCOS. I really, really hope that you do! 🙂

Unfortunately, I do know what you mean about the “why me?” and “why her?” questions that I always seem to be asking God. I’ve been married for a little over a year and while I seem to be able to conceive, haven’t been able to carry a child past 5 weeks (had a miscarriage in October and another in May). I too have cousins with kids out of wedlock and friends who have two or more children when they really have no business having a family (no marriage, no job, etc.)…

It doesn’t make sense, but there is a reason for it. I know that sounds trite, but it helps me to just keep telling myself over and over again that God has a plan for my life and this is a part of it. Just try not to let it make you bitter.

I have friends who have let their miscarriages make them bitter to the point that they don’t even see when someone is going through the same pain that they are. It used to be really hard for me to got to the doctor because there were so many pregnant women there, and then I started thinking that maybe these women had struggled to get pregnant as I had. Or maybe they had also gone through the pain of losing a child. It may not always be the case, but I’ve found there are some people who have everything easy in that department, but there are also more people than you may realize around you who are silently struggling or have have struggled as I have.

But aside from all that…I DO understand what you are going through and all that being said, it really, really stinks. You are always more than welcome to PM me if you want to compare PCOS notes. :hug1:
 
LittleDeb said:
Praying for your brother, SavedbyHim!

It can be so painful, emotionally, for men to struggle with infertility. I don’t know if some just have so much of their manhood wrapped up in it or what. It could be an embarrassment to talk about it and so they suffer in silence. Only God knows for sure.

My thoughts are probably off-base and might just be rooted in a stereotype. I haven’t had the chance to discuss infertility with that many men. But the ones I have known have been very reluctant to discuss it while the wives and I can talk for hours.

Anyway, praying for your bro! So thoughtful of you to ask for prayers for him.
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Thank you so much for the prayers!!

And you are so right on about my brother not being very comfortable talking about it. They didn’t tell anyone for a year and a half and suffered through this all alone for that long!! Then, when he first told my mom, he didn’t even want her to tell my dad or me. It’s just a very hard subject for him… for them both. 😦

Anyways, thank you again for the prayers! I will in turn, ask the Lord for special blessings for you! :signofcross:
 
Hi, I just joined this forum.

I plan to become a patient of Dr Hilgers or Dr Stegman.I have sent out my charts to Dr Hilgers and waiting for him to write back to me soon. Is anyone here a Dr Stegman’s patient and had success getting pregnant with treatment with him? Does he have the same exact protocol as Dr Hilgers in laparascopy, ultrasound, HSG and follow up etc.The reason is because I can have an appointment with Dr Stegman in August and surgery perhaps one to two months later but if I were to go to Dr Hilgers I will have to wait until early next year for a lap and time is a big factor for me.Can you be a patient of both Dr Hilgers and Dr Stegman at the same time?

I have been TTC#1 for 3 years and don’t think I can wait very long. I am going to be 39 this year.

I know Dr Stegman is trained under Dr Hilgers but does he do the exact same protocol as Dr Hilgers?

Thanks in advance for any help!
 
I have only used Dr. Hilgers, but I would trust anyone working in his office without any hesitation.
 
As far as I know everyone trained by Dr. Hilgers uses his protocols and also consults with him frequently on patients. I worked with a nurse practitioner he trained, and she sent him faxes of my charts when they would get weird for him to interpret. He is very involved, even if he isn’t the actual one you see. 🙂
 
What about the month long series for bloodwork, will it be sent to Dr Hilgers lab or does Dr Stegman have his only lab? Actually I prefer Dr Hilgers and if I were younger I can wait but am 39 and cannot wait too long, trying for 3 years already, the waiting is very hard.
 
Hi all,

Today has been a particularly trying day for me, so thought I’d post here for support. I usually am genuinely happy for others when they announce they’re pregnant, but lately seeing babies makes my heart ache. Today at the grocery store it seemed every woman in there had a baby with her.

I was diagnosed with PCOS in 1994, and have been married for five years. We haven’t been able to conceive and have never used contraceptives in our marriage. I’ll be 32 in August, and it feels like my time is ticking away. All my friends have children and most are on their second child. When hubs and I go to social events, we are the only ones there without children.

I am saddened that I may never get to know what it’s like to have my own child. That I may grow old and have no family. That if my husband dies before I do, I will be all alone, and vice versa if I go first.

Really I’m just feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in my misery today. Infertility is a heavy cross to bear, and I’m not bearing it well.
 
I’m so sorry beckycmarie. I wish I could offer more comfort, but PCOS is a heavy cross that I don’t bear. I was 33 when I had my first, but we had only tried for 19 months and not 5 years. Celebrate what you can, I guess. My prayers are with you.
 
hey beckycmarie,

Im sorry this took me a while to post. Ive been a little hesitant cause i didnt really know how or what to say when I read your post. I know what it’s like to long for something that you feel is unatainable. I too have PCOS and I am also “surrounded” by pregnant women. So i know how you feel. I am very sorry that you are having to deal with this.

I hope you are feeling better soon.🙂
 
I’m sorry for my fellow Catholic brothers and sisters, many of whom would/will make awesome parents, who are battling with infertility.
According to UN figures, the sperm count in males in the Western world today is 60% down on 1950’s levels. Similarly, in the 1950’s, only about one in eight people died of cancer, now it’s one in three.
Never lose hope. God gifted Sarah with a child at 90 years old. Yes I know the story has allegorical and metaphorical meanings too, but still, God Almighty, Creator of the Universe, can do anything.
 
Dear All

I recently came home from Medjugorje, where I presented in prayer all of you women here who struggle with infertility.
I hope God blesses this prayer and that some of you might have children because of it. I of course also prayed with my husband for the gift of children. For many days, even in that beautiful place, the anxiety crept into my heart and occupied my mind too much. So I prayed to Jesus during the beautiful adoration, that He would take this wish and these worries and thoughts away from me. I thought, what is the point in looking at a closed door much of my time, it has taken way too much of my focus and my life quality away this last year. That last evening in Medjogorje, I finally also had a great talk with my husband, where we concretely discussed the topic of adoption. There are so many beautiful children out there. And to my great delight he was very interested in hearing the information I had found on the topic. We agreed that if nothing has happened before the last year of my studies (in 2 years) then we will start the adoption process. This talk and Gods grace filled me with so much consolation. Now more than a week since then, I can say God has performed a miracle. Through my husband He gave me great comfort. But not only that, He completely took away the thought, and the anxiety. My mind has been free since, not even once have I dreamt about babies, which I did every night before.
Praise be to Jesus Christ
Also I recommend traveling to Medjugorje. It strenghtened my faith a lot and had a wonderful unexpected effect on my marriage.
 
So a friend of mine has a theory and I wanted to get some (name removed by moderator)ut. Now mind you I am not seeking personal info or doling out medical advice. Answer if you would like. I am trying to see if my friend’s theory holds water.

Her theory is that those of us (females) with infertility problems have an imbalance of hormones that leads to a higher testosterone level. Ok all well and good. Her other theory is that it is actually testosterone interacting with estrogen that makes our breasts grow large.

What got me thinking to post these questions was a recent post in another thread from, I am almost sure it was, SeekerJen, acknowledging having a “rack of doom.” (If it wasn’t you, please forgive me.) I am wondering how many of us with marginal fertility also have a “rack of doom.” I know I certainly do.

When I was pregnant with my son and producing more testosterone to grow him, my bust got ginormous. With my daughter it stayed more or less just huge. When “Arnie” took his steroids, his breasts were large too, so I don’t think the theory is totally unfounded.

So anyone else here have a “rack of doom” and is willing to own up? Does the theory hold any water? I am also curious to find out if anyone has a “less than A” too. Please feel free to ignore my question if it is too personal. We’ve been quiet around here lately and I have been curious about it.
 
I’ve never heard it put that way, but I’ve got the “rack of doom.” I also have PCOS that causes the hormonal imbalance that your friend describes.
 
me too!!! I have PCOS and a “rack of doom” too!! They seem to always be in the way! LOL
 
I guess I’m gonna screw up the theory…I don’t have a “rack of doom”…but do have PCOS and recurrent miscarriages.😊 🤷
 
Yeah, I’m the one with the “rack of doom”. (I swiped that term from a blog, though. I can’t take credit.) My mom has the RoD as well, but didn’t have problems getting pregnant with me after surgery to remove uterine fibroids. My grandma had the RoD, and had eight children (one died at birth). Her mother also had the RoD and had six children.

I’ve never been tested for PCOS, but I don’t have any symptoms that would seem to indicate it and doctors haven’t ever suggested it as a possiblilty. According to sympto-thermal charts I ovulate every cycle and have very regular cycles. I suspect that our problems are related to luteal phase issues (mine tend to be a bit short, although not abnormally so), endometriosis (runs in the family), or problems on DH’s side. He said something a while back about having an undescended testicle when he was younger, so it’s definitely possible that there’s a problem with sperm production.
 
Thanks for the responses so far. I have endo, not PCOS, myself. I have inadequate luteal phases like you SeekerJen, currently 8 days.

Kevinsgirl, are you by chance an A or smaller? There is the other end of that theory too of lacking necessary testosterone. A B-C would be average. D enters the doom domain. I have another friend with PCOS who is very small busted.

I know Willsfirecracker personally. Your RoD may reach legendary status.

Beckycmarie, I’ve been built this way for so long, I had thought I had heard them all. “RoD” made me laugh. My thanks to the author of the blog that SeekerJen read. My joke is: I used to weigh 110 pounds, 15 of it was bust.

All the gals in my family with Racks of Doom have struggled with heavy cycles and whatnot. Though some could carry many babies, all have had trouble that way. The average gals have had no infertility or heavy cycles. (yes, I asked 😊)

I think I am trying to see if a giant bust or lack of one might indicate cyclical troubles. It’s a theory anyway. Theories are designed to be shot down sometimes.
 
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