Infertility

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I stumbled on to this thread by accident or was it really an accident? I too had to have medical intervention to have my children; fibroid blocking a fallopian tube, hormone treatments, etc. But by the grace of God, I did manage to have two children. I wasn’t young when I had my first, in fact I told the nurse at the dr.'s office that if anyone said “advanced maternal age” to me one more time I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions. 😛 So don’t let anyone tell you that you are too old, too young, or too anything. You do what you know is right. If this means meds and surgeries, and this is right for you, then go for it.

What I want to say is this: take heart, ladies. Do what you can, take care of yourselves and trust in God. And know that you have a cheerleader in me, too. 😉
 
Thanks so much guys for all your encouragement. It means a lot to us all I’m sure.
I love stories where the ending is good:)
 
This is my infertility story and I haven’t had a chance to read ALL the 52 pages worth of posts on here… I wrote this in response to the IVF thread and just writing it made me feel soooo much better. I have read a few posts to feel that what I say here will be taken to heart and might possibly receive more prayers for the end of my infertility issues as I will be praying for all those in the same boat. Good luck to all of you and God bless!

I can definitely say it’s hard being Catholic when you can’t get pregnant naturally. The church teaches you to chart your cycles and that that will increase your chances of getting pregnant. I’ve been charting for over 2 years now with no luck (trying for over 4) - (Side note: by the way, I HIGHLY recommend the charting for all women - there is soooo much you can learn about yourself).
It seems within the last year, it has become very difficult to be around pregnant women and I have noticed I’ve been more depressed. I have a younger sister who is pregnant and not married. This has made me question my faith ALOT. Made me ask why she was given this “gift” and is not married. Isn’t premarital sex against church teaching as well? I’ve seen many of those who are given this “gift” but don’t treat it as a gift (i.e. abusive, neglecting, abortion) and again I ask WHY?. I pray every night that God bless me with a child so that I may fufill my marriage vows to “accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and His Church” and to be a part of the procreating Catholic community.
I would have never thought that I, 3rd oldest of ten, would be sitting, waiting, wondering why I had not been blessed with the gift of children yet. What had I done wrong? I would have never thought I would have to result to any fertility treatments. I come from a family of ten, my dad came from a family of eleven, my mom came from a family of six, my husband’s dad came from a family of 8… it just didn’t seem like we would have ever had ANY trouble getting pregnant.
I don’t know if it was this thread or another I read that someone had said, “The Lord helps those who help themselves…” but I have taken on that saying and have begun to help myself (and husband ) get pregnant through IUI. My husband and I feel that no matter what or not matter how its conceived, our baby (if successful) will be conceived out of love and will be born into love and will know love for its whole life. And I would think God would look on that more positively than those that were given the “gift” and abused it.
 
Dear articflower
I can only say that I understand everything that you feel. The big WHY has been hunting me too. Why others and not me. It truly seems so cynical. However, through it all I have had prayer and laying on of hands of people with the gift of healing. I have prayed on pilgrimmages. It seems I have done everything I can. God knows my wish and I know that he can give me children if He choses. It helped me a lot that through the laying on of hands I have earlier been physically healed from lumps. It was really a huge and tangible miracle. So I know that God CAN heal.
I wish I could give you a talk that helped me a lot. It is from a german man called Johannes hartl. He has the gift of teaching and he speaks with a power that changed my life in a sense. He talked about how we as christians have to be able to live with unanswered questions and still trust in God.
The thought of using IUI and IVF also tempted me at the beginning. But you know what. I found out that Dr. Thomas Hilgers treatment of infertility patients is much more succesful than IVF. So that is the program I have started. I can only recommend to you that you look into that option.
I really wish you all the best and I hope that you will have a baby soon.
Love Amber
 
** In the name of Allah , the Most Gracious , Ever Merciful **

Salaam/ Peace
arcticflower said:
… I have a younger sister who is pregnant and not married. This has made me question my faith ALOT.
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Why is that ? Just because one has kid(s) , it does not mean s/he is more fortunate than you are . Wealth , children , power etc could be blessings as well as great trials for hereafter.

As believers , our ultimate goal must be to acheive salvation. It does not matter how painful this earthy life could be , real blessed ones are those who will get success on the Final Day . So , have faith in God & cheer up 🙂

I think , it’s better to pray like this : O God , if this ( say what u want …) is good for my this life & hereafter , then grant it for me and if this is not good for my hereafter , then keep this away from me & grant me what you know is good for me , Amen.
 
arcticflower said:
This is my infertility story and I haven’t had a chance to read ALL the 52 pages worth of posts on here… I wrote this in response to the IVF thread and just writing it made me feel soooo much better. I have read a few posts to feel that what I say here will be taken to heart and might possibly receive more prayers for the end of my infertility issues as I will be praying for all those in the same boat. Good luck to all of you and God bless!

I can definitely say it’s hard being Catholic when you can’t get pregnant naturally. The church teaches you to chart your cycles and that that will increase your chances of getting pregnant. I’ve been charting for over 2 years now with no luck (trying for over 4) - (Side note: by the way, I HIGHLY recommend the charting for all women - there is soooo much you can learn about yourself).
It seems within the last year, it has become very difficult to be around pregnant women and I have noticed I’ve been more depressed. I have a younger sister who is pregnant and not married. This has made me question my faith ALOT. Made me ask why she was given this “gift” and is not married. Isn’t premarital sex against church teaching as well? I’ve seen many of those who are given this “gift” but don’t treat it as a gift (i.e. abusive, neglecting, abortion) and again I ask WHY?. I pray every night that God bless me with a child so that I may fufill my marriage vows to “accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and His Church” and to be a part of the procreating Catholic community.
I would have never thought that I, 3rd oldest of ten, would be sitting, waiting, wondering why I had not been blessed with the gift of children yet. What had I done wrong? I would have never thought I would have to result to any fertility treatments. I come from a family of ten, my dad came from a family of eleven, my mom came from a family of six, my husband’s dad came from a family of 8… it just didn’t seem like we would have ever had ANY trouble getting pregnant.
I don’t know if it was this thread or another I read that someone had said, “The Lord helps those who help themselves…” but I have taken on that saying and have begun to help myself (and husband ) get pregnant through IUI. My husband and I feel that no matter what or not matter how its conceived, our baby (if successful) will be conceived out of love and will be born into love and will know love for its whole life. And I would think God would look on that more positively than those that were given the “gift” and abused it.
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Arctic, I’m so sorry for what you have gone through! :hug1::hug1:

But I must say you shouldn’t let these trials test your faith nor give in to resorting to methods against the Catholic Church.

People that get pregnant out of wedlock did wrong, yes, but God’s Will is Infinite and we cannot see all the “in’s and out’s” so to speak of why God does what He does.

As to the IUI, I know you are tempted and feel like what you are doing is still better than those that get pregnant out of wedlock, but 2 wrongs do not make a right. You should not compare yourself to those women! Also, the ends does not justify the means…you should not abandon the Church when your suffering is great. Try to pray and find some healing. God calls us to the Cross, and for many of us women that cross is infertility. We should carry our crosses like Jesus did and ask for strength along the way.

Now I’m not saying don’t do anything about your infertility! But we should not cross into immoral methods along the way!

Last, have you thought about adopting a baby? There are grants and monies out there for those looking to adopt. We have a thread in the parenting section with those adopting.

Arctic, I don’t want to sound judgemental, I really do feel for you as someone who hasn’t gotten pregnant in 3 years herself. But I worry about you and the sin of IUI. Do not let your grief cloud your judgement, and do not let your faith waiver!

I truly believe God has called good women like you and me to suffer infertility in recompense for those like your sister who abuse their fertility. God often calls the righteous to suffer for the sinful. So do not let your faith waiver. Be strong and know that God is with you so very closely to your struggle. Look into Dr. Hilger’s, he’s a very smart doctor that is Catholic and will take patients that are long distance as well.

You have other options other than IUI. I will pray for you and your family very much! I know how much you grieve…I get depressed around pregnant woman too…but all the more reason to pray more! :gopray:
 
gam3rchic said:
Arctic, I’m so sorry for what you have gone through! :hug1::hug1:

But I must say you shouldn’t let these trials test your faith nor give in to resorting to methods against the Catholic Church.

People that get pregnant out of wedlock did wrong, yes, but God’s Will is Infinite and we cannot see all the “in’s and out’s” so to speak of why God does what He does.

As to the IUI, I know you are tempted and feel like what you are doing is still better than those that get pregnant out of wedlock, but 2 wrongs do not make a right. You should not compare yourself to those women! Also, the ends does not justify the means…you should not abandon the Church when your suffering is great. Try to pray and find some healing. God calls us to the Cross, and for many of us women that cross is infertility. We should carry our crosses like Jesus did and ask for strength along the way.

Now I’m not saying don’t do anything about your infertility! But we should not cross into immoral methods along the way!

Last, have you thought about adopting a baby? There are grants and monies out there for those looking to adopt. We have a thread in the parenting section with those adopting.

Arctic, I don’t want to sound judgemental, I really do feel for you as someone who hasn’t gotten pregnant in 3 years herself. But I worry about you and the sin of IUI. Do not let your grief cloud your judgement, and do not let your faith waiver!

I truly believe God has called good women like you and me to suffer infertility in recompense for those like your sister who abuse their fertility. God often calls the righteous to suffer for the sinful. So do not let your faith waiver. Be strong and know that God is with you so very closely to your struggle. Look into Dr. Hilger’s, he’s a very smart doctor that is Catholic and will take patients that are long distance as well.

You have other options other than IUI. I will pray for you and your family very much! I know how much you grieve…I get depressed around pregnant woman too…but all the more reason to pray more! :gopray:
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Gamer, all I can say is, “I LOVE YOU!!!” You are such an incredible woman with so much faith, wisdom and charity. What you wrote was so insightful given your heavy cross…wow…I’m in awe!!!
 
Serap said:
Gamer, all I can say is, “I LOVE YOU!!!” You are such an incredible woman with so much faith, wisdom and charity. What you wrote was so insightful given your heavy cross…wow…I’m in awe!!!
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Awww, shucks… 😊😊😊:blushing::blushing::blushing:
Thank you, I was worried I came off too judgemental as I wrote it very early in the morning after I just woke up. But something compelled me to write it after I read her post.
 
Well, I’m having a super hard time right now. Im extremely frustrated with the way things are going. My friend who I have known for years is pregnant out of wedlock… on top of that she is having twins. Im trying to stay posotive about the whole thing but I feel she i rubbing it in my face. Im sure that isnt her intention but that’s all she talks about is how the babies are doing. And she treats me like im dumb and then turns it around and says that that’s how im treating her. :mad:
 
In the name of Allah , Most Gracious, Most Merciful

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Willsfirecracke said:
Well, I’m having a super hard time right now.
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😦

Try to think that it’s a test from God Almighty. You must have faith & show patience. God loves those who have patience .
 
Willsfirecracke said:
Well, I’m having a super hard time right now. Im extremely frustrated with the way things are going. My friend who I have known for years is pregnant out of wedlock… on top of that she is having twins. Im trying to stay posotive about the whole thing but I feel she i rubbing it in my face. Im sure that isnt her intention but that’s all she talks about is how the babies are doing. And she treats me like im dumb and then turns it around and says that that’s how im treating her. :mad:
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Sending lots of prayers your way. :gopray2:

Remember that sometimes when people make a bad choice, they have to do all sorts of things to make it appear like it was a good thing. It sounds like a case of pretending “I meant to do that,” for your friend. She’s probably getting the “you’re dumb” stuff from other sources and you are a safe person to dump on about it. God bless you and your friend. The grace that you handle her, will come back to bless your life in other ways.
 
Thank you LittleDeb,

That really helps to understand her a little more. I am trying to be so patient with her. But it is so hard when she is so… flakey and undecisive… and way way way hormonal. :rolleyes:

Willsfirecracker
 
Hi,

I am so glad I find this place. I am a Catholic woman who struggles with infertility.
It has became increasingly challenging for me and my husband. I am willing to believe God has plans for us. But sometimes it just seems so unfair that we could not have a baby. I have PCOS and my husband has low sperm count and abnormal sperms. We have been doing charting since last Aug, but no luck yet…Lately I start clomid, HCG shot, B6,progesterone and etc, but we are not sure what would happen. If the treatment fails, I decide to do ovarian wedge resection at the Pope Paul VI Institute. It is going to be very expensive…Honestly I don’t know how we could afford the operation.

I have became very depressed and could not stand being around pregnant women. Sometimes I think I become a very different person.

We definitely think about adoption. But because of our immigration status (we are green card holders), our adopted child can not enter the US because of the crazy immigration laws. So adoption is out of picture…

Please pray for us.
 
huan0316 said:
Hi,

I am so glad I find this place. I am a Catholic woman who struggles with infertility.
It has became increasingly challenging for me and my husband. I am willing to believe God has plans for us. But sometimes it just seems so unfair that we could not have a baby. I have PCOS and my husband has low sperm count and abnormal sperms. We have been doing charting since last Aug, but no luck yet…Lately I start clomid, HCG shot, B6,progesterone and etc, but we are not sure what would happen. If the treatment fails, I decide to do ovarian wedge resection at the Pope Paul VI Institute. It is going to be very expensive…Honestly I don’t know how we could afford the operation.

I have became very depressed and could not stand being around pregnant women. Sometimes I think I become a very different person.

We definitely think about adoption. But because of our immigration status (we are green card holders), our adopted child can not enter the US because of the crazy immigration laws. So adoption is out of picture…

Please pray for us.
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I pray that you have a beautiful baby! I hope your sad story ends with a baby!
 
Prayers for you, huan0316. :gopray: Your situation sounds really tough. Have faith that God will clear the way! My biggest struggle was in losing hope. I pray that you will be able to keep hope in your heart.
 
Dear Huan
I know how you feel. For a long time I have found it difficult to be happy for others who seem to get pregnant without any problems. Luckily this has changed a bit lately though it is still sometimes there. I am also working with the Creighton model. I might very possibly need an operation from Dr. Hilgers too. But I live in Europe and have no idea how much this stuff costs. Sometimes I just need to take it one day at a time otherwise it gets too overwhelming.
I hope all the best will happen to you.
God bless you
Hugs A:shamrock:
 
Hi,

Thank you for all your encourgement and prayers. Just wonder how you all communicate your emotions/ feelings with your husbands. My husband was really angry at me when I decided not to go to a friend’s baby shower… (the baby shower was several days after we failed our 1st clomid treatment cycle).

It is really tough.
 
huan0316 said:
Just wonder how you all communicate your emotions/ feelings with your husbands.
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I have always talked about wanting children with my husband. Even before we dated that was pretty much all I talked about, wanting to settle down and raise a family.

Me being the overly emotional person that I am, my husband would have to be blind and deaf to NOT understand my feelings. :o He came home to me crying yesterday. :(😊
 
huan0316 said:
Hi,

Thank you for all your encourgement and prayers. Just wonder how you all communicate your emotions/ feelings with your husbands. My husband was really angry at me when I decided not to go to a friend’s baby shower… (the baby shower was several days after we failed our 1st clomid treatment cycle).

It is really tough.
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Don’t feel bad. He just doesn’t understand … men are different.

My sister in law is not able to make a baby and she too doesn’t go to baby showers or birthday parties. I completely understand how hard it would be!!!

Prayers to you!
 
Huan, sorry about your situation. It’s tought dealing with infertility and to top it all, your dh gets mad at you about a shower… my dh did the same thing to me… 😦 and I have lost 2 babies… men don’t feel the same way women do about fertility and the awful slaps in the face we get like when a baby shower comes or things of the like :hug1:

Welcome to the thread even though it’s not the greatest reason to have for joining a thread.
 
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