Infertilty Question

[Alda]

Hi, I hope this is the appropriate forum.

I would appreciate advice. I am a married female, 33 years old with one child. I have been trying to conceive a second child for over a year now. Various tests have revealed that I have secondary infertility due to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Basic treatment involves diet and lifestyle changes plus some medications.

So far the basic changes have not made any difference in the sense that I am still unable to conceive. My doctor, (who I should add is a Roman Catholic and I attend a Catholic fertility clinic), has now suggested treatments to me, which while they are acceptable to the Church (ie Clomid, injection of natural pregnancy hormone), are not acceptable to me in the sense that I would rather not take them. I would rather leave the matter to God and see what happens.

My question is, am I commiting a sin in not accepting all the fertility treatment which has been offered to me, bearing in mind that these are methods acceptable to the Church. Instead I am, in a way, choosing infertility albeit with the possibilty of a pregnancy, but nevertheless, am I negligent in doing so?

My thanks to you and I hope I have explained myself clearly.

 

[Seatuck]

No,I do not believe you are not morally obligated to seek out fertility treatments you personally object to. The choice is yours. You are only limited to choose from morally acceptable choices once you have decided to seek fertility treatment.

Obviously it is in the best interest of your health for you to manage the sympotms of PCOS to the best of your ability. I know many women who have concieved once a significant weight loss and blood sugar regulation was achieved but not all. Since you have been able to concieve naturally before it is possible you can do so again.

Prayers for you as you navigate through these difficult decisions and questions.

 

[Ron_Conte]

I agree that refraining from the treatment is moral.

You accepted the basic treatment, your intention is good, and you cannot be certain that the basic treatment won’t work over time.

 

[LittleOne1]

Yeah, especially since I have heard these are not without risks. Maybe you can also look into other options like surgery that helps. I have heard about a place in Nebraska, PopePaulVI I think, that helps women in a Catholic way and are very good. Maybe talk to them.

 

[ASimpleSinner]

Yeah, especially since I have heard these are not without risks. Maybe you can also look into other options like surgery that helps. I have heard about a place in Nebraska, PopePaulVI I think, that helps women in a Catholic way and are very good. Maybe talk to them.

To be clear, the OP pointed out she does go to a Catholic Doctor who is trained in Catholic thought on this one…

NO, you are not morally obligated to seek this sort of treatment.

But I would ask that maybe you clarify what you mean when you say “…are not acceptable to me in the sense that I would rather not take them. I would rather leave the matter to God and see what happens.”

If I get what you are meaning you are wanting to trust in Providence which is laudible. But we have to be careful that we are not demanding things of God in the sense that we turn from ordinary means we have through Grace from science and demand God work in an extraordinary realm. We have to be careful that we aren’t turning around if He acts differently than we hope or expect to see that as a sign.

There is an old joke about a man and his family that see a weather report that a flood is imminent due to rain and they declare that “We put our faith in God that he will save us!”

As the waters rise a boat floats by their house to rescue them and they say “We put our faith in God that he will save us!”

When they are on the roof to escape flood waters a helicopter comes and offers to evacuate them and they say “We put our faith in God that he will save us!”

The water rises to the point where they are swept away and wash up at the Pearly Gates where somewhat stupified they ask Saint Peter "“We put our faith in God that he will save us, what happened?!?”

Saint Peter replies: we sent you a warning on TV, then sent you a boat, then sent you a helicopter!

 

[kell0618]

Hi, I hope this is the appropriate forum.

I would appreciate advice. I am a married female, 33 years old with one child. I have been trying to conceive a second child for over a year now. Various tests have revealed that I have secondary infertility due to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Basic treatment involves diet and lifestyle changes plus some medications.

So far the basic changes have not made any difference in the sense that I am still unable to conceive. My doctor, (who I should add is a Roman Catholic and I attend a Catholic fertility clinic), has now suggested treatments to me, which while they are acceptable to the Church (ie Clomid, injection of natural pregnancy hormone), are not acceptable to me in the sense that I would rather not take them. I would rather leave the matter to God and see what happens.

My question is, am I commiting a sin in not accepting all the fertility treatment which has been offered to me, bearing in mind that these are methods acceptable to the Church. Instead I am, in a way, choosing infertility albeit with the possibilty of a pregnancy, but nevertheless, am I negligent in doing so?

My thanks to you and I hope I have explained myself clearly.

I am in a similar situation and choose not to do anything though I do long for another child. You are in no way negligent.

Peace

 

[Alda]

Thank you to all who have replied, this has been helpful to me.

Yes, I do in fact see a Catholic doctor who is trained in the Pope Paul VI institute methods. I am very lucky to have access to such treatment.

The treatments I do not want, do have risks and side effects also.

To ASimpleSinner, thank you, yes, it is more that I wish to trust in Providence whilst also accepting basic treatment than anything else. I certainly am not demanding anything from God but I do trust in Him.

 

[graceandglory]

Thank you to all who have replied, this has been helpful to me.

Yes, I do in fact see a Catholic doctor who is trained in the Pope Paul VI institute methods. I am very lucky to have access to such treatment.

The treatments I do not want, do have risks and side effects also.

To ASimpleSinner, thank you, yes, it is more that I wish to trust in Providence whilst also accepting basic treatment than anything else. I certainly am not demanding anything from God but I do trust in Him.

I think it would be very cool to share a copy of Good News for Sex and Marriage with your Catholic fertility doctor. Because then he could explain Catholic teaching to his Catholic patients in layman’s terms.

Are you open to God’s will in every sexual encounter with your husband? Are you open to life? If God wills it, would you accept children lovingly as a result of the marital embrace?

The main reason birth control is a sin is because a couple is not open to God’s will, and are not trusting God with their fertility.
It sounds like you are.

Trusting in God is the heart of Catholic teaching on procreation.

 

[graceandglory]

I would rather leave the matter to God and see what happens.
.

This is the correct attitude. God cares about His relationship with us. It’s not so much rules and regulations. Following His will and letting Him be the provider is what matters to Him.

When a couple leaves God out of the bedroom, that is when sin happens.

The sin isn’t just about birth control pills or illicit fertility treatments, it is really about us and God. That is the heart of the matter.

 

[Alda]

I think it would be very cool to share a copy of Good News for Sex and Marriage with your Catholic fertility doctor. Because then he could explain Catholic teaching to his Catholic patients in layman’s terms.

Are you open to God’s will in every sexual encounter with your husband? Are you open to life? If God wills it, would you accept children lovingly as a result of the marital embrace?

The main reason birth control is a sin is because a couple is not open to God’s will, and are not trusting God with their fertility.
It sounds like you are.

Trusting in God is the heart of Catholic teaching on procreation.

Hi, it was actually at my doctor’s clinic that I was able to borrow a copy of Christopher West’s book, Good News About Sex and Marriage. They have some wonderful Catholic books in the waiting room! So she most definitely will have read that book.

In response to your question, I am most certainly open to life, willing to receive a child should that be God’s will. I am also prepared to accept infertility if that is God’s will.

Thanks for your reply.

 

[wantanother]

hi i don’t think it’s wrong to put things in gods hands i’m a 37 year old with 1 child and been trying for another for 4 years i had endometriosis surgery twice last in october my dr said i should be pregnant within six months still waiting i have prayed since i was 19 for gods will in my life and sometimes i feel like it will happen in gods time than i feel like i should do all i can to make it happen time is not on my side i am 4 years older than you but don’t fool yourself it goes by quick pray about what you should do you don’t want to wake up one day with any regrets i see you said you will acept if gods will is infertility but i’m not their yet even after 4 years and i have a wonderful son who wants a sibling as much as me. hope i give you some thought .

 

[BeluvdLily]

I think you should definitely leave it in God’s hands if that’s what you feel. You are doing all you can to improve your PCOS situation and oftentimes that can lead to pregnancy. You didn’t say if you are taking Metformin or Glucophage but often women with PCOS on these drugs become more regular in their cycles and ovulation and become pregnant with no other intervention needed after some amount of time. Check out some PCOS message boards! Tons of stories there.

I also have PCOS and like you, I am not comfortable intervening too much. I have a 20 year old son (today is his birthday!) and my husband (not my son’s father) and I would love to have a baby. I am taking Metformin for insulin resistance and diabetes and PCOS and I feel that if God wants me to have a baby I will have one. If not, I am happy to proceed on in this manner.

Of course, at 41, I do question if I have the energy level for a baby as I have other health problems but I really feel strongly about leaving it in God’s hands for myself personally.

Good luck to you!

Amie