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Ammi
Guest
I am not implying a priest should reveal information from the Confessional.
It’s true. The purpose of confession is not to force someone to revealing facts about their sins, but to facilitate God’s mercy and forgiveness.
A priest can certainly suggest that the right thing to do is to confess, turn oneself in, etc. But it can’t be a condition of absolution.
God knows the heart of the individual and the individual knows their motives for coming to confession, if those motives are such that they are abusing the sacrament then that would be a different sin altogether, but only God can know that.
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Ammi
Guest
CCC # 1424
“It is called the sacrament of Penance , since it consecrates the Christian sinner’s personal and ecclesial steps of conversion, penance, and satisfaction.”
Depending on the situation, it may already be a condition of receiving forgiveness. So while Absolution does not depend on restitution, contrition/repentance depends on the will to restitution. In a situation where the priest knows that the penitent has no intention of proper restitution, the priest can conclude that contrition is lacking. Obviously priests have different stances on whether they would offer absolution to a person who has no intention of restitution/satisfaction.
Not necessarily. Intentions/motives of the heart can be known, or can be hidden. It’s possible to know motives primarily by the penitents own admission. Tribunals make judgments by scrutinizing behavior and using that as proof of intentions all the time. Though the latter is a more slippery slope, I believe.
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VeryBlessed
Guest
Yes, so go to confession, and please, dwell deeply and at length on the fact that you have been completely forgiven - and by God almighty, no less. I want you to think about something - if God almighty has not withheld forgiveness from you, who are you to withhold forgiveness from yourself? Are you going to hold onto what God has let go of (and even “thrown into the sea of forgetfulness”)? Pray for the grace from God to forgive yourself. You have made some beautiful adjustments and are fortressing your marriage; so you have already allowed God to bring good forth out of that terrible event. Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean minimizing what happened; it means restoring love for yourself. He wants you to love yourself as he loves you. You must try to forgive yourself. Praying for you.
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QwertyGirl
Guest
There is quite a difference, most here would say, between being married and not. You weren’t married at the time of your mistake in judgement, if I understand correctly.
Your wife has said she wouldn’t want to know, hypothetically speaking. There is your answer. Time to figure out a way to leave your past in the past and move on. This kind of thing can take quite a toll on a marriage. Not because of the initial wrongdoing, but because of one spouse allowing the guilt to rob them of living in the present. I would suggest counseling of some type so you can learn to move on. Do you hold on to guilt from other things you have done that are in the past, in this way? Not healthy, at all, to do that. I don’t think it is how God wants you to live, if I think about it in those terms.
Your wife has said she wouldn’t want to know, hypothetically speaking. There is your answer. Time to figure out a way to leave your past in the past and move on. This kind of thing can take quite a toll on a marriage. Not because of the initial wrongdoing, but because of one spouse allowing the guilt to rob them of living in the present. I would suggest counseling of some type so you can learn to move on. Do you hold on to guilt from other things you have done that are in the past, in this way? Not healthy, at all, to do that. I don’t think it is how God wants you to live, if I think about it in those terms.
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Ammi
Guest
The priest has the right and the duty, according to the nature of the sins and the ability of the penitent, to impose salutary and appropriate works of satisfaction. (De fide.)
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TheLittleLady
Guest
EXCEPT anything that would require the penitent to reveal his sins to another person.
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Ammi
Guest
The priest is bound by the seal, not the penitent.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
The priest is not allowed to require the penitent to disclose his sins to another person. We’ve been over this on a whole other thread.
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TheLittleLady
Guest
The penitent may choose to break the seal, however, he/she cannot be REQUIRED to do so.
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Ammi
Guest
The priest isnt required to absolve, if there is reason to doubt contrition, right?
Wouldnt some sins, by the perpetual harm of secrecy it causes require admittance to fulfill contrition and satisfaction?
Wouldnt some sins, by the perpetual harm of secrecy it causes require admittance to fulfill contrition and satisfaction?
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Tis_Bearself
Patron
We have been over this on a whole other thread where at least one priest explained it to you.
Also, there are plenty of past threads on here where people said priests counseled them to not disclose infidelity to a spouse.
Finally, the OP did not commit infidelity to a spouse. He was not married when he had relations with his colleague. He was basically fornicating with the colleague, and also fornicating with his girlfriend, whom he later married. He needs to confess that he fornicated with two women. He does not need to confess cheating or adultery.
Also, there are plenty of past threads on here where people said priests counseled them to not disclose infidelity to a spouse.
Finally, the OP did not commit infidelity to a spouse. He was not married when he had relations with his colleague. He was basically fornicating with the colleague, and also fornicating with his girlfriend, whom he later married. He needs to confess that he fornicated with two women. He does not need to confess cheating or adultery.
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Ammi
Guest
That thread was deleted.
That’s even way beyond not requiring them to fess up. That’s encouraging deceit.
While engaged to his fiance. That is an impediment to the Sacrament to many Tribunals.
ONLY because she established that she would not want to know.
I’m done with this topic, out of respect. Thank goodness I dont need to agree with every practice of some clergy. Though I’m not saying I wont be convinced. The thread was deleted that may have convinced me that the Church absolutely forbids a priest to require at least a willingness to owning up to a perpetually harmful sin before absolution.
That’s all I have to say about it. Peace to all.
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