Infidelity within our marriage

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Okay, ya’ll are forcing me to confess. In this forum, this morning, is the FIRST time I could say “I forgive her!” It has taken me 5 years, but I can finally say it and believe it. And, it was not easy to do. She also knew what she was doing. She knew us, she knew our children, it was “her right” as she said, to have a relationship with my husband. She even told my children, after her and my husband were living together, that if I had just let them be friends their dad would have never left. It was MY fault. I know, I know. It took everything in God’s power for me to stay the better person. I definitely turned the other cheek, more than once, but everything we do in this life has consequences. And, whether we like it or not, “Vengence is mine,” says the Lord. So, I left it in His hands. He handled it way better then I ever could. My husband is home, my family is reconciled and who knows or cares where she is?

Her punishment came in getting back what she gave me. When he came home she acted like I broke up their marriage ( they never married, just lived together). It was him who initiated the reconcilitation. It had to be him. I had to KNOW he was repentant. It doesn’t mean I want to be her friend, but I had to release it all. Her name still tastes like vomit in my mouth, but I forgive her.
 
Charli67 said:
Okay, ya’ll are forcing me to confess. In this forum, this morning, is the FIRST time I could say “I forgive her!” It has taken me 5 years, but I can finally say it and believe it. And, it was not easy to do. She also knew what she was doing. She knew us, she knew our children, it was “her right” as she said, to have a relationship with my husband. She even told my children, after her and my husband were living together, that if I had just let them be friends their dad would have never left. It was MY fault. I know, I know. It took everything in God’s power for me to stay the better person. I definitely turned the other cheek, more than once, but everything we do in this life has consequences. And, whether we like it or not, “Vengence is mine,” says the Lord. So, I left it in His hands. He handled it way better then I ever could. My husband is home, my family is reconciled and who knows or cares where she is?

Her punishment came in getting back what she gave me. When he came home she acted like I broke up their marriage ( they never married, just lived together). It was him who initiated the reconcilitation. It had to be him. I had to KNOW he was repentant. It doesn’t mean I want to be her friend, but I had to release it all. Her name still tastes like vomit in my mouth, but I forgive her.
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God BLess you that had to have been hell. And i give you credit, isnt it funny though how they always come back. It is easy to say to forgive, but i know its harder to do it. Pat yourself on the back, you deserve it. I hope now you can just gain nothing but peace and love now in your life, you deserve it. enjoy and move on., Thank goodness for tommow, and saying goodbye to yesterday!
 
iluvmybabies said:
It’s understandable…It will take time but eventually you will be able to forgive her…As hard as it may seem to do so now…Just keep praying and may God be with you…
I am very sorry for the pain you are going through, I hope you and your hubby get through this terrible test…
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“If God is for us, who can be against us?” 👍
 
I retract the part of my post that said I was sorry you were going through this mrs abbott. 😦
 
mrs_abbott said:
Huh? :confused:
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I feel bad that I felt sorry for you, that is what I am saying.
I have to re-check the forum rules to see if I can elaborate on your thread. You can feel free to ask via pm if you so desire until I can verify if I can reply here.
 
notsmart said:
I feel bad that I felt sorry for you, that is what I am saying.
I have to re-check the forum rules to see if I can elaborate on your thread. You can feel free to ask via pm if you so desire until I can verify if I can reply here.
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That’s fine. Just don’t quite understand what you’re getting at but then again, I am pretty tired today. 😊
 
It was stated by someone in a private message that I am a hypocrit or something to that effect. If you want to know more, pull up the archives and look for a thread of mine entitled “forgiveness”.
God has used this incident in my life with my husband to “see how the other side feels” in the event of an affair. If I could turn back time, I would. It’s my cross to bear until the day I die.
 
duskyjewel said:
WHY would anyone retract an expression of sympathy toward a cheated-on spouse?
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Because I was once in my life the “other woman”, back when I didn’t know God and was about as selfish as a person could be. 😦
 
notsmart said:
I retract the part of my post that said I was sorry you were going through this mrs abbott. 😦
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wow…just wow…:eek:
mrs_abbott said:
It was stated by someone in a private message that I am a hypocrit or something to that effect. If you want to know more, pull up the archives and look for a thread of mine entitled “forgiveness”.
God has used this incident in my life with my husband to “see how the other side feels” in the event of an affair. If I could turn back time, I would. It’s my cross to bear until the day I die.
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I looked up the thread. Don’t beat yourself up, MrsAbbott. I don’t know the particulars about either case. What I do know is that you heartily regret sins in your past and now your husband is causing you pain through his indiscretions. Don’t allow yourself to believe that God is somehow punishing you for something you repented of a long time ago. He may have allowed this to happen to bring you closer to Him…but that is all. You have my full sympathy and support and prayers as you and your DH work through this. :hug1: :hug1: :hug1:
 
kevinsgirl said:
wow…just wow…:eek:

I looked up the thread. Don’t beat yourself up, MrsAbbott. I don’t know the particulars about either case. What I do know is that you heartily regret sins in your past and now your husband is causing you pain through his indiscretions. Don’t allow yourself to believe that God is somehow punishing you for something you repented of a long time ago. He may have allowed this to happen to bring you closer to Him…but that is all. You have my full sympathy and support and prayers as you and your DH work through this. :hug1: :hug1: :hug1:
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Thank you! I have definitely become 10 times closer to God than I ever was. We talk alot more too and have developed a closer relationship. My soul is happy but my heart is still broken. 😦
 
kevinsgirl said:
What I do know is that you heartily regret sins in your past and now your husband is causing you pain through his indiscretions. Don’t allow yourself to believe that God is somehow punishing you for something you repented of a long time ago. He may have allowed this to happen to bring you closer to Him…but that is all. You have my full sympathy and support and prayers as you and your DH work through this. :hug1: :hug1: :hug1:
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Mine too Mrs Abbot (sympathy, support and prayers, that is) There is healing and happiness in your future… really!
 
mrs_abbott said:
It was stated by someone in a private message that I am a hypocrit or something to that effect. If you want to know more, pull up the archives and look for a thread of mine entitled “forgiveness”.
God has used this incident in my life with my husband to “see how the other side feels” in the event of an affair. If I could turn back time, I would. It’s my cross to bear until the day I die.
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What one has done in the past has no bearing on how they feel in the present.

I am sure we can all think of things we have done that are sinful, and when they are done to us we feel the pain that we had others feel. Whether it is gossip or something more serious, we are still allowed to feel pain and be hurt or unsure of why we were presented with the events. It is absurd that because we have made these mistakes at some point we are not allowed to be upset when we are wronged for the same thing.

Just because someone gossips about a neighbor and then they themselves are subjected to being the subject of gossip later in life doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be upset by the words that have been said about them.

Mrs. Abbott, you have my upmost sympathies for your husband’s indiscretions, and I hope that you and he are able to reconcile and find peace.
 
BlestOne said:
Mine too Mrs Abbot (sympathy, support and prayers, that is) There is healing and happiness in your future… really!
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I just picture God saying “I never said it would be easy, I only said that it would be worth it” regarding how to get to Heaven. I’m finally seeing that it’s NOT easy at ALL! :eek: I still have faith, hope and love so we’ll see where that leads. :bible1: :heaven:
 
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