Intelligent 11 year old says Mass is 'boring'

[Art321]

1. Does his father still take him to mass? Boys will have more respect for church if their father goes.
2. Sign him up for altar service and other volunteer services at the church.
3. If his school is actually telling him things contrary to our faith, his parents need to have a talk with the principal and/or pull him out of that school.

This!

It does work best if fathers take a lead role in the formation of their Faith!

 

[Art321]

Since he presumably knows no Latin, that would IMNAAHO only enforce the boredom factor by forcing him to listen to a strange language.

Just make sure (if you can) that if he is not yet confirmed, that he does CCD somewhere more “orthodox” than his school.

Boredom is a part of life and most kids don’t relate to the need for religion, but it will be learnt, if well-meaning adults don’t push him away from it.

ICXC NIKA

Yes I see your point! Didn’t occur to me until just now!

 

[Anglewannabe]

I’m sure most 11 year olds find Mass to be boring. Just like a lot of kids find school to be boring. He probably views it as something he is simply being forced to do and may not understand the importance of it just yet.
.

I think this is the beginning of the teenage attitude years and he needs to be told there are times in life he has to do things he doesn’t like

Angie

 

[GEddie]

I think some people, well-meaning though they are, are beating the humility horse to death.

The young **need **a high “self esteem.” Their self image is just forming. Life will humble them soon enough. IMNAAHO.

What needs to be learnt is that boredom is normal and is not an excuse not to do things. We are required to do many, many things that are boring. It’s part of life, and going to Mass is part of what we owe God for the privilege of our aliveness.

Children seldom see a need for religion; to understand that, there is no substitute for maturity. The adult task is to get them to learn it for that day. Not to humble them.

Again IMNAAHO!!!

God Bless and ICXC NIKA.

 

[WT1]

My 17 year old daughter was bored at Mass and was starting to find creative reasons for skipping. We stumbled upon a Life Teen Mass at another parish that has fantastic music and that hooked her since live music is one of her favorite things.

My wife and I attend the Sat Evening Mass at our parish and typically one of us goes with our two teenage daughters to the Life Teen one on Sunday Nights. Personally I don’t care where they go, or what type of Mass it is as long as they are going.

 

[oldgraymare2]

I think some people, well-meaning though they are, are beating the humility horse to death.

The young **need **a high “self esteem.” Their self image is just forming. Life will humble them soon enough. IMNAAHO.

What needs to be learnt is that boredom is normal and is not an excuse not to do things. We are required to do many, many things that are boring. It’s part of life, and going to Mass is part of what we owe God for the privilege of our aliveness.

Children seldom see a need for religion; to understand that, there is no substitute for maturity. The adult task is to get them to learn it for that day. Not to humble them.

Again IMNAAHO!!!

God Bless and ICXC NIKA.

I think that you bring up some good points.

I also think that someone may think something is boring, if they don’t understand it, either. This can apply to anyone, not just children. If something happens to be a concept that someone doesn’t understand, they can lose interest in it too, in my opinion.

 

[Rose71]

Thank you for all your brilliant suggestions and advice.

I have no influence over his parents’ choice of school or high school. His father attends Mass with him, but his mother is not a Catholic and has recently begun to point out all the ‘flaws’ (in her opinion) in the Catholic Church’s teachings - which is not helpful to say the least.

I think he would benefit much more from listening to the readings, Gospel and sermon than skipping off to Children’s Liturgy which lasts from after the Opening Prayer to the start of the Offertory. For him, Children’s Liturgy is a chance to be indulged by the leaders, who constantly tell him all his questions are wonderful and his knowledge is amazing. To be fair, he does ask some intelligent questions and he does retain information well and can apply it - sensibly when he chooses, or to deliberately provoke a response too. What he lacks is self control and empathy with others in the group.

For example, this Sunday, we had a brilliant sermon, that he would have enjoyed. The Priest explained that the Quoran had over 100 different names for God, which translated to descriptions like ‘mighty, powerful, all-knowing etc.,’ but only the Christian faith refered to a humble God (a God who 'humbled himself to be born …etc)

I love the idea of a Latin Mass It could go either way: he’ll either be mesmerised, or be grateful for the English Mass, where he can at least understand what is being said

 

[Xantippe]

Thank you for all your brilliant suggestions and advice.

I have no influence over his parents’ choice of school or high school. His father attends Mass with him, but his mother is not a Catholic and has recently begun to point out all the ‘flaws’ (in her opinion) in the Catholic Church’s teachings - which is not helpful to say the least.

I think he would benefit much more from listening to the readings, Gospel and sermon than skipping off to Children’s Liturgy which lasts from after the Opening Prayer to the start of the Offertory. For him, Children’s Liturgy is a chance to be indulged by the leaders, who constantly tell him all his questions are wonderful and his knowledge is amazing. To be fair, he does ask some intelligent questions and he does retain information well and can apply it - sensibly when he chooses, or to deliberately provoke a response too. What he lacks is self control and empathy with others in the group.

For example, this Sunday, we had a brilliant sermon, that he would have enjoyed. The Priest explained that the Quoran had over 100 different names for God, which translated to descriptions like ‘mighty, powerful, all-knowing etc.,’ but only the Christian faith refered to a humble God (a God who 'humbled himself to be born …etc)

I love the idea of a Latin Mass It could go either way: he’ll either be mesmerised, or be grateful for the English Mass, where he can at least understand what is being said

Oh–he’s going to the children’s liturgy. No wonder he feels like he knows EVERYTHING. He’s a big fish in a little pond. If I were in charge of him, I’d move him to a bigger pond as quickly as is reasonable (maybe after Christmas?). Once he’s sitting through the whole Mass with you, you’ll have better opportunities for discussing the readings later.

How does he do with his peer group? Some of the behavior you mention sounds just a little spectrummy. That also needs to be addressed, or he’s really going to suffer in school the next several years.

Good luck!

 

[pianistclare]

Oh–he’s going to the children’s liturgy. No wonder he feels like he knows EVERYTHING. He’s a big fish in a little pond. If I were in charge of him, I’d move him to a bigger pond as quickly as is reasonable (maybe after Christmas?). Once he’s sitting through the whole Mass with you, you’ll have better opportunities for discussing the readings later.

How does he do with his peer group? Some of the behavior you mention sounds just a little spectrummy. That also needs to be addressed, or he’s really going to suffer in school the next several years.

Good luck!

Yes.

 

[GEddie]

Spectrummy???

 

[ProVobis]

I know I sound harsh - but the culture for relativism, secularism is particularly damaging to young boys like this who are seeking answers on the one hand, but on the other, are constantly being told how ‘brilliant’ their questions are without any values being placed on listening, self-control or humility.

Most schools that I know of place more emphasis on competitiveness and effort. After all, that is the world we live in. We don’t get jobs by being humble. No teacher that I’ve ever had gave me or anyone else points for being “humble.” It’s a nice word to use about people we like but does it really exist at all?

 

[ProVobis]

Since he presumably knows no Latin, that would IMNAAHO only enforce the boredom factor by forcing him to listen to a strange language.

Could also be more challenging. I can see where an English Mass can be banal to a lot of people. I’m bored myself, so how am I supposed to motivate people to go to an English Mass?

When I grew up, I heard Polish at home, English in school, and Latin in Church. Given that it’s taught early enough, nothing is strange.

I see more and more young people attending the EF. They may not come every week because of the distance involved, but at least they are open to a different type of prayer, and it’s not necessarily vocal or recited in insincere cadences.

 

[Rose71]

Most schools that I know of place more emphasis on competitiveness and effort. After all, that is the world we live in. We don’t get jobs by being humble. No teacher that I’ve ever had gave me or anyone else points for being “humble.” It’s a nice word to use about people we like but does it really exist at all?

Yes, I see what you mean, but I was using ‘humble’ to describe a state of mind that is open to listening to advice and able to re-evaluate the situation, as opposed to assuming one is always correct because one is so clever.

 

[ProVobis]

Yes, I see what you mean, but I was using ‘humble’ to describe a state of mind that is open to listening to advice and able to re-evaluate the situation, as opposed to assuming one is always correct because one is so clever.

When you are given "F"s for every paper you write or test you take, you might get a little humble there. Unfortunately you might also develop an inferiority complex. Perhaps I took things to the extreme here but I think the principle holds. I’m not teacher, but I have tutored a few kids. You have to encourage them and stir up their curiosity is about what I’ve learned.

 

[Xantippe]

Most schools that I know of place more emphasis on competitiveness and effort. After all, that is the world we live in. We don’t get jobs by being humble. No teacher that I’ve ever had gave me or anyone else points for being “humble.” It’s a nice word to use about people we like but does it really exist at all?

I think humility goes by different names in the workplace, but it is still valued for many positions. My husband is an academic and in that world, “collegiality” is highly valued (i.e. not making an *** of yourself in meetings and not turning every minor policy issue into WWIII). When a person lacks collegiality, it’s painfully obvious. And given the university tenure system, you may have to deal with them for the next 30+ years. In other industries “being a team player” expresses the same thing.

 

[Xantippe]

Spectrummy???

Behaving in ways characteristic of the autism spectrum, but not necessarily officially autistic.

 

[GEddie]

I think humility goes by different names in the workplace, but it is still valued for many positions. My husband is an academic and in that world, “collegiality” is highly valued (i.e. not making an *** of yourself in meetings and not turning every minor policy issue into WWIII). When a person lacks collegiality, it’s painfully obvious. And given the university tenure system, you may have to deal with them for the next 30+ years. In other industries “being a team player” expresses the same thing.

I’m not sure that that is the same thing as humility, commonly understood as self-effacing and quiet.

 

[Xantippe]

I’m not sure that that is the same thing as humility, commonly understood as self-effacing and quiet.

Well, I think that that definition is open to debate. For example, Jesus was humble, but how quiet was he?

In my husband’s department, it’s noticeable that major administrative responsibility tends to be given to the least arrogant people. The chair is probably the humblest person in the department and the best at keeping the peace. That’s surprisingly common in the academic world–at least at the departmental level, the most power is given to the person least likely to abuse it.