Inter-Faith Marriage Letter

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I am preparing to get married to a wonderful man who has never been baptized and does not intend on becoming Catholic. I live in the diocese of Richmond and need to fill out a permission form to send to the Bishop so he can sign off on my wedding, but the form says that “A letter explaining the particular circumstances motivating this request [to marry a non-Catholic] is necessary.” I suppose this means that I need to compose and send in a letter along with the permission form, but I have no idea what this is supposed to look like. I’ve spent a lot of time googling and exploring the diocese of Richmond website but can’t find any examples or tips for how to write a letter like this. Does anyone have any suggestions or examples they could share with me about how to write this? Thanks!
 
I would just say something like “planning to marry so and so, who not a Christian. He understands my obligation regarding possible children and agrees not to prevent them from being raised Catholic.”

You don’t need to write a long letter describing why your fiancé is a good catch or anything.
 
This. You can also ask your priest or deacon for guidance. They make requests for dispensations often enough to have some good ideas.
 
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http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c3a7.htm

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

[1634] Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139

[1636] Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages . Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple’s obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."140 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this “consecration” should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
 
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I think you’ll be alright. Dispensations are handed out pretty easily these days, but they shouldn’t be. The Catechism teaches that dispensation is granted if there is a greater need for unity, like if the other party is anti-Catholic or is against being in a Catholic Church, then a dispensation can be granted. Again, people get this dispensation for very casual reasons. It’s up to each individual Catholic to see how seriously they take it.

But even before thinking about this, you should really pray about your decisions. This man can be wonderful, and could be wonderful for a long time or forever, but if this person isn’t helping you in your spiritual journey to Heaven, then there is a danger that you need to recognize. Maybe you put it really concisely, but when you say “does not intend on becoming Catholic”, it really speaks to me that he doesn’t fully intend on giving himself to you, and more importantly, to God. At the same time, you have the responsibility to help your future spouse find salvation. Don’t fall into relativism where “you do your own thing and I’ll do mine.” It will create rifts you can never imagine right now.
 
Is it common for the Catholic to have to personally petition the bishop for the dispensation?

My diocese has a “Pre-nuptial Investigation” book that contains all the different forms required to prepare a couple for marriage whether they are both Catholic, have a mixed-marriage, or have a disparity-of-cult marriage. My experience has been that the priest or deacon makes sure that all the proper forms are filled in and forwards the book to the diocesan office for the bishop’s dispensation. The couple’s involvement in the dispensation request is limited to signing two forms, under oath:
  1. the Catholic’s form promising that he/she will not defect from the faith and will to everything in his/her power to raise any children in the Catholic faith;
  2. the non-Catholic’s form to the effect that he/she has been made aware of the Catholic’s promise.
The priest adds the reasons why he thinks the dispensation should be granted.
 
Phemie, I would think normally the priest would handle filling out the form, and if he needed specific information from the couple, he would ask them specific questions.

I know when I married my Protestant husband, we did not have to fill out anything ourselves. The priest took care of that. He had an interview with us and we may have had to get a form from the Pre-Cana we later attended and provide that to him. Other than that he filled out everything necessary. Your average person getting married wouldn’t have a clue what the Diocese would expect to see on a form worded like the one the OP describes.
 
Phemie said:
Is it common for the Catholic to have to personally petition the bishop for the dispensation?

My diocese has a “Pre-nuptial Investigation” book that contains all the different forms required to prepare a couple for marriage whether they are both Catholic, have a mixed-marriage, or have a disparity-of-cult marriage. My experience has been that the priest or deacon makes sure that all the proper forms are filled in and forwards the book to the diocesan office for the bishop’s dispensation. The couple’s involvement in the dispensation request is limited to signing two forms, under oath:
  1. the Catholic’s form promising that he/she will not defect from the faith and will to everything in his/her power to raise any children in the Catholic faith;
  2. the non-Catholic’s form to the effect that he/she has been made aware of the Catholic’s promise.
The priest adds the reasons why he thinks the dispensation should be granted.
Click to expand...
Your priest sends the request of dispensation to the bishop for you just as a way to ensure you have talked to a priest. Your Archdiocese should have instructions on obtaining the dispensation, but the priest would know all of it already.
 
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