Inter racial relationships

[learning2live]

I would like some information on how Catholics view inter-racial relationships. My daughter who is white, is very good friends with a black boy. I am praying that nothing comes of this relationship other than friendship but I need some (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[cove]

learning2live:

I would like some information on how Catholics view inter-racial relationships. My daughter who is white, is very good friends with a black boy. I am praying that nothing comes of this relationship other than friendship but I need some (name removed by moderator)ut.

I have no problem with inter-racial relationships. I know some beautiful families at my church who are bi-racial. I would be more concerned if my child was in an interfaith relationship. If she dated a boy who was a good Catholic it would make no difference to me what color his skin was.

 

[jrabs]

learning2live:

I would like some information on how Catholics view inter-racial relationships. My daughter who is white, is very good friends with a black boy. I am praying that nothing comes of this relationship other than friendship but I need some (name removed by moderator)ut.

If this is the man God has selected for her, then you should rejoice and be glad. God always knows best. Pray for God’s will in her life - not your will.

 

[maendem]

learning2live:

I would like some information on how Catholics view inter-racial relationships. My daughter who is white, is very good friends with a black boy. I am praying that nothing comes of this relationship other than friendship but I need some (name removed by moderator)ut.

What is it that you dread about a relationship with your daughter and this young man? Please tell me it’s not that he’s black but that he will mistreat her, that he is leading her away from her faith, or some real reason of concern.

Interacial relationships can be difficult and bring their own set of serious considerations on the part of the couple, but morality doesn’t enter the picture per se at all.

 

[maendem]

learning2live:

I would like some information on how Catholics view inter-racial relationships. My daughter who is white, is very good friends with a black boy. I am praying that nothing comes of this relationship other than friendship but I need some (name removed by moderator)ut.

What is it that you dread about a relationship with your daughter and this young man? Please tell me it’s not that he’s black but that he will mistreat her, that he is leading her away from her faith, or some real reason of concern.

Interacial relationships can be difficult and bring their own set of serious considerations on the part of the couple, but morality per se doesn’t enter the picture at all.

 

[Tom]

cove:

I would be more concerned if my child was in an interfaith relationship. If she dated a boy who was a good Catholic it would make no difference to me what color his skin was.

Ditto

 

[sparkle]

learning2live:

I would like some information on how Catholics view inter-racial relationships. My daughter who is white, is very good friends with a black boy. I am praying that nothing comes of this relationship other than friendship but I need some (name removed by moderator)ut.

Greetings Friend:

In all due respect for your views and you of course, have every right to them, I believe it is much important the morals, beliefs, and religion of this young man rather than merely the color of his skin. I happen to believe this is what the Lord means “do not be unequally yoked”–in faith not in color. For it’s the essentials that will cause the problems for your daughter in these areas not the color of skin differences. Have you inquired from your daughter if they are getting serious? If she’s of marriage age, then it might be nice to have a serious talk about the type of man she will seek for a husband one day. Do they believe the same? Want the same things out of life?

God Bless~~

 

[mlchance]

There is nothing in Catholic Tradition or in Scripture that forbids inter-racial marriage.

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[puzzleannie]

Individual Catholics have as many hang-ups about this as any other marriage issue. The Catholic Church has no position on inter-racial marriage, but strongly advises against mixed marriages, Catholics marrying non-Catholics. A dispensation is still required, especially to marry an unbaptized person.

 

[Lissla_Lissar]

As the child of a mixed marriage, I have to say that the important things isn’t skin colour. Intercultural and interracial marriages are fine; the important thing is that your daughter marries a good man who loves and respects her, and (extremely preferably!) shares her faith.

 

[alyssa]

I have no prolem with inter-racial relationships, however, all the hardships that can come from the rest of society can cause grief.

 

[misericordie]

learning2live:

I would like some information on how Catholics view inter-racial relationships. My daughter who is white, is very good friends with a black boy. I am praying that nothing comes of this relationship other than friendship but I need some (name removed by moderator)ut.

Cardinal Francis George not so long ago wrote a pastoral on the sin of racism and how it is totally against the virture of Justice and CHARITY. He further went on to say that if a CATHOLIC had such views, the view itself was an obstacle to GRACE, and no matter how frequent the Sacraments, etc there will be NO grace until the hatred is gone.
However, at the same token, one’s tendency CULTURALLY!!! , not racially is to be ablr to bring someone into one’s family who ALREADY knows the CULTURAL habits, etc of one’s family. This is true even within different HISPANIC countries (and they all speak Spanish). For example, a guy from Puerto Rico who is well educated etc and comes from a good family who is deeply Catholic, if he falls in “love” with a well educated girl with a CATHOLIC family too etc. but that is from the Dominican Republic, Cuba, Ecuador, etc, etc, etc, etc, will have a CERTAIN cultural clash. Totally different cultures, especially when for example Puerto Rico is part of the USA, and culturally there is the same thing as mainland USA. However, the other ones I mentioned are in reality totally non-American and well, third world. My family came from Puerto Rico (my parents) to New York City in the early 1950’s, and they have been working and paying taxes here since. They also married in Brooklyn New York in the Roman Catholic Church and have a great marriage(married in 1959). I was born here in 1970 (NY) and my parent’s grandparents and great grandparents CAME FROM the Canary Islands in SPAIN, then settled in Puerto Rico in the 1800’s. I would personally run into some problems (family) if I were for example to date a Dominican woman. BUT not because of racism, but becuase they CULTURALLY VERY!!! Different.

 

[JCPhoenix]

I listened to a Catholic Apologist speak on this recently on the radio and he cited Bible passages indicating that God was actually very angered by those who condemned interracial marriages. I don’t remember the passages so you may want to post a message in the Apologist forum.​

Incidentally, I dated a man for 3 1/2 years who is black and I prayed that he would be my husband. I really loved him. We broke up for several reasons, but race was never a part of it.

Please don’t do to your daughter what my mother did to me. After dating this man for only 2 weeks (very casual), I brought it up to my Mom because I had to know her response. She was shocked, told me my aunt was going to “freak” and that it would never work. I asked her if she’d prefer I get involved with some redneck white trash guy who was into meth and knocked down liquor stores for a living.

She told me, “they’re both bad.”

I continued dating him, of course, but I was therefore in no hurry for her to meet him when she had already judged him signt unseen.

They did finally meet and she was able to put aside her prejudice, even going to far as to buy him Christmas gifts and such.

He and I weren’t meant to be together, but I agree…biracial children are truly beautiful, and interracial couples, if they are of the same faith, values, etc…are the pure example of God’s love crossing boundaries.

I didn’t care that some people didn’t approve…that was their problem. And in fact, his family was very diverse: his brother married a white woman (very German, blonde). His sister married a Jew, and they have a GEORGEOUS little boy with the biggest brown eyes and CURLS! . His other brother married a Native American woman, and you should see their daughters!

It is a beautiful family, but his lack of faith was a boundary I couldn’t cross…then. (He recently asked for a Bible recommendation–I bought him one–and told me that he plans to watch the Passion.)

A part of me still loves him and always will. He is now married–they eloped, and she is white, also. Please pray for them, that they allow God to enter their marriage.

If God leads your daughter to marry someone of a different race, then praise God and ask that you can see the world God created, and the beauty previously hidden from you as a result of the fears of secular society’s prejudices.

 

[tTt]

Lissla Lissar:

the important thing is that your daughter marries a good man who loves and respects her, and (extremely preferably!) shares her faith.

 

[Detroit_Sue]

If you said he wasn’t Catholic, that would concern me more.

My husband is Mexican. I am of Northern and Eastern European descent. His entire family considers ours to be an interracial marriage. The first time I heard my Father in Law say he didn’t want his son to “marry no white girl,” I was stunned. It never even occurred to me that they felt that way. My folks adored my husband from day one, and my mom would always take his side if we squabbled. That was more than 25 years ago. I’m happy to say that FIL loves me now, and is head over heels for my kids. That has not been the case with the rest of his family, and that’s been their loss.

Tread lightly here. Ask yourself:

Is he a good man?
Does he actively practice his faith?
Does he respect your daughter?
Does he have goals and aspirations?

There are more important qualities to look for than the color of his skin. God bless you all!

 

[misericordie]

misericordie:

Cardinal Francis George not so long ago wrote a pastoral on the sin of racism and how it is totally against the virture of Justice and CHARITY. He further went on to say that if a CATHOLIC had such views, the view itself was an obstacle to GRACE, and no matter how frequent the Sacraments, etc there will be NO grace until the hatred is gone.
However, at the same token, one’s tendency CULTURALLY!!! , not racially is to be ablr to bring someone into one’s family who ALREADY knows the CULTURAL habits, etc of one’s family. This is true even within different HISPANIC countries (and they all speak Spanish). For example, a guy from Puerto Rico who is well educated etc and comes from a good family who is deeply Catholic, if he falls in “love” with a well educated girl with a CATHOLIC family too etc. but that is from the Dominican Republic, Cuba, Ecuador, etc, etc, etc, etc, will have a CERTAIN cultural clash. Totally different cultures, especially when for example Puerto Rico is part of the USA, and culturally there is the same thing as mainland USA. However, the other ones I mentioned are in reality totally non-American and well, third world. My family came from Puerto Rico (my parents) to New York City in the early 1950’s, and they have been working and paying taxes here since. They also married in Brooklyn New York in the Roman Catholic Church and have a great marriage(married in 1959). I was born here in 1970 (NY) and my parent’s grandparents and great grandparents CAME FROM the Canary Islands in SPAIN, then settled in Puerto Rico in the 1800’s. I would personally run into some problems (family) if I were for example to date a Dominican woman. BUT not because of racism, but becuase they CULTURALLY VERY!!! Different.

I do however like women who’s ancestry is from Spain, Ireland, and France.

 

[Joan_M]

I am from Ireland and white. My husband is from Trinidad and he is “sapodilla brown” - a mixture of African, probably Irish, definitely French, Spanish, Portugese and Indian!

We have been married for 35 years. Believe me - inter racial is no big deal. What is important is - having the same beliefs and knowing beforehand how you can expect to be treated. Men and women learn most of what they know about marriage from the experience of their parents. You want to know how your husband is likely to treat you? Look at how his father treats his mother. Now, of course, that, being a generality, there can be exceptions, but it is a good rule of thumb.

Yes, there can be racial problems - not between the couple (after all, if either one was a racial bigot, why would they have got married to each other??!!) but from other people, whether family or not. Now, if it is from those outside the family, who cares!! I did not experience much of that - and any I did, I just let run off of me. If I was asked why I married a black man I would say I married the man I love. He just happens to be black! In fact, when I first met him, that fact didn’t register! A friend asked me who had seen me home from the party where I had met him, if it was the fat black fellow? All I could say was, well, he is a bit fat, but I have no idea what color he is!! The next time I met him (our first date) I looked at him, and said to myself (silently) yes, he is black. Ok.

Inside the family? Well, one of my siblings had a problem with me marrying a black man, and did not speak to me for 16 years. Eventually, she came to realize that there is only one race - the human race - and we are all members of it.

Most of the time, when we shrink from the thought of a relationship with someone of another race it is because of not being used to mixing with such people. Get to know the young man. Judge him only on his heart and how he treats your daughter. Is he industrious? Does he have good morals and beliefs? Open your heart and your mind and see who he is. He may, of course, not be right for your daughter - but not just because he is black!

 

[Trelow]

If he’s a good God fearing, honest, respectable man thats all you need.

My family is as redneck as they come and we have a few interracial marriages. Working great, they are great guys.

 

[kage_ar]

The limit is not to date outside the HUMAN race

In Exodus, the children of Isreal were complaining about Moses’ wife being of a different skin color - God did not look kindly on that bit of racism!

 

[TarAshly]

i dont understand why its so taboo to marry outside of the faith. my friend is a cradle Catholic and shes married to a methodist. both of their church leaders performed their ceremony, it was really beautiful, and you’ve never seen two people more in love (cept for me and my hubby maybe ) i think you should marry who you love and everything else will work itself out in the end. let go and let God right?