Inter-Religion Relationship

[Nick003]

I realize that we are all Christians. I also am lead to understand that the Roman Catholic religion is the source from where other forms of Christianity have branched off. Is this true?

I’ve met a woman who is Pentecostal. Now, those of you whom have come to know me know that the most important thing to me where a relationship is concerned is that it be a relationship that God will smile upon.

Right from the start, I’ve made it clear that, based on my teaching and belief, she would need an annulment before I could enter into a relationship with her. I have to say it is much easier to lay this requirement on the table up front as emotional attachments haven’t developed.

She is receptive to this requirement.

If she decides to follow through and is granted an annulment, is there anything else I need to know about entering into a relationship with a woman outside Roman Catholic?

 

[robwar]

I think you have a couple of red flags here. While she is Christian, she is not Catholic and if you have read any of the other threads concerning dating and marrying outside of the Catholic Church, you should not be dating with the idea of eventually marrying outside of the Catholic faith. If you were to marry and you wanted to be married within the Catholic Church, she would have to show she was baptized in a trinitarian form and you and she would have to promise the Church you would be raising your children as Catholics. There are just too many issues to delve into here about trying to raise children in mixed faith or faith/no faith homes.
You need to explore a number of threads on CAF to read about the conflicts and prayer requests by others who married a non-Catholic and now are having major conflicts over raising the children in religion and the conflict between the marriage partners. It is best not to go down that road. Likewise, it sounds like she was married before. Whether she was willing to go through an annulment process or needed to, the fact that she was married and then divorced should be a concern and red flag. This doesn’t mean she isn’t nice or doesn’t love God but there are a couple major issues here that it would be better not to go down the dating road with and marry.

 

[Rich_C]

I realize that we are all Christians. I also am lead to understand that the Roman Catholic religion is the source from where other forms of Christianity have branched off. Is this true?

Yes. Most of the groups we know in the U.S. today broke away from other groups, that had broken away from the Catholic Church in the 1500s in a movement called the “Protestant Reformation.” I believe the Pentacostal form of Protestantism arose in the 1800s.

If she decides to follow through and is granted an annulment, is there anything else I need to know about entering into a relationship with a woman outside Roman Catholic?

Ultimately she would have to agree to be married in the Church and to have your children raised as Catholics.

My limited experience with Pentacostals is that they disdain 95% of Catholic beliefs, so you may have trouble convincing her to accept these requirements.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I realize that we are all Christians. I also am lead to understand that the Roman Catholic religion is the source from where other forms of Christianity have branched off. Is this true?

I’ve met a woman who is Pentecostal. Now, those of you whom have come to know me know that the most important thing to me where a relationship is concerned is that it be a relationship that God will smile upon.

Right from the start, I’ve made it clear that, based on my teaching and belief, she would need an annulment before I could enter into a relationship with her. I have to say it is much easier to lay this requirement on the table up front as emotional attachments haven’t developed.

She is receptive to this requirement.

If she decides to follow through and is granted an annulment, is there anything else I need to know about entering into a relationship with a woman outside Roman Catholic?

What about not using contraceptives? Is she completely open to life all the way through her fertile years, not just until she has the number of children SHE wants?

Will she promise to allow you to raise the children as Catholics? Highly doubtful!

Regardless of what she says now, if you were to marry her, what about her family and friends? What about once the kids come and you want them to be baptised?

I would NEVER recommend going into a mixed marriage. The potential for heartbreaking loneliness is too great. The Scripture about being unequally yoked is too true.

Pentacostals are extreme. Talk about her beliefs and you will surely see.

 

[bzkoss236]

and she would have to promise the Church you would be raising your children as Catholics.

Actually, she wouldn’t. This requirement was done away with a long while ago. The only person who has to this is the Catholic party. I also know from personal experience as I have recently married a wonderful and godly non-denominational Christian woman (she leans a little Catholic in more areas than most).

To the OP: While it would be more difficult a situation than if you married a Catholic, it can be done, and has. My brother also married a non-Catholic Christian, and they are currently expecting their first child (due in May). They, as well as me and my (now) wife have done is that before we were even married, we had many sincere talks about our faith differences and what that would mean if the relationship got more serious. I suggest you do that same. You’ll need to talk about how to raise the kids, what kind of church you will go do, where and how you will be married, etc. Remember that if you plan on getting married someplace outside of a Catholic church, you’ll need to get permission and a dispensation to do so. It’s not going to be easy. You may end up having some fights, but if it is God’s will, things will work out for the better.

 

[Melchior_1]

Allow me (what a shock) to take a contrary position on this; it very well be difficult to handle an Inter-Religion Relationship, however if she is receptive and is willing to accommodate your Catholicism and the requirements of Catholicism in a loving and charitable fashion, what exactly is the issue with having a relationship with her?

 

[OraLabora]

I think the notion that a Catholic cant marry a non-Catholic Christian is nonsense. I have been married to a wonderful Protestant woman for 25 years. My Catholic mother married, licitly and in the Church, a Protestant man, back in 1955. I was raised Catholic and my Protestant father took that duty so seriously that if my mother was ill, HE would take me to Mass.

Yes there are difficulties particularly with some denominations. To suggest that it’s impossible though, is simple bigotry.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

If you were to marry and you wanted to be married within the Catholic Church, she would have to show she was baptized in a trinitarian form…

This is incorrect. With the permission of the bishop a Catholic can marry a non-baptized person. See the Code of Canon Law #1633-1637.

 

[coachkfan1]

Rather than go into all the details, let me sum up what I have learned from my personal experience with inter-religous relationships-- NO, NO, NO! And then HECK NO!

 

[robwar]

This is incorrect. With the permission of the bishop a Catholic can marry a non-baptized person. See the Code of Canon Law #1633-1637.

I was speaking about baptism only. She would have to show her certificate of baptism to prove this. If she wasn’t baptized or it was non trinitarian, they would need permission of the bishop as you said.

 

[catholicanne]

Ultimately she would have to agree to be married in the Church and to have your children raised as Catholics.

I think this is at the core of the issue. My husband is agnostic yet signed a form when we got our marriage blessed in the church saying he agreed to raise our children in the Catholic faith. If this women would be willing to do the same then I think it would be ok for you to consider a serious relationship with her that might lead to marriage. Just keep in mind that many children learn their faith from their mothers so she would have to be 100% committed to raising Catholic children.

Don’t dismiss her simply because of her Protestant faith. What a good way to evangelize and bring her to the Catholic faith than to marry her! lol

 

[catholicanne]

I think the notion that a Catholic cant marry a non-Catholic Christian is nonsense. I have been married to a wonderful Protestant woman for 25 years. My Catholic mother married, licitly and in the Church, a Protestant man, back in 1955. I was raised Catholic and my Protestant father took that duty so seriously that if my mother was ill, HE would take me to Mass.

Yes there are difficulties particularly with some denominations. To suggest that it’s impossible though, is simple bigotry.

THIS!

 

[robwar]

Actually, she wouldn’t. This requirement was done away with a long while ago. The only person who has to this is the Catholic party. I also know from personal experience as I have recently married a wonderful and godly non-denominational Christian woman (she leans a little Catholic in more areas than most).

To the OP: While it would be more difficult a situation than if you married a Catholic, it can be done, and has. My brother also married a non-Catholic Christian, and they are currently expecting their first child (due in May). They, as well as me and my (now) wife have done is that before we were even married, we had many sincere talks about our faith differences and what that would mean if the relationship got more serious. I suggest you do that same. You’ll need to talk about how to raise the kids, what kind of church you will go do, where and how you will be married, etc. Remember that if you plan on getting married someplace outside of a Catholic church, you’ll need to get permission and a dispensation to do so. It’s not going to be easy. You may end up having some fights, but if it is God’s will, things will work out for the better.

in a sense yes because if he would go down this road and they eventually marry within the Catholic Church, they both together have to see the priest and pre-marriage classes where they do go over the requirements in a promise over him promising to marry includes raising the children in the Catholic faith.

 

[catholicanne]

Actually, she wouldn’t. This requirement was done away with a long while ago. The only person who has to this is the Catholic party. I also know from personal experience as I have recently married a wonderful and godly non-denominational Christian woman (she leans a little Catholic in more areas than most).

Absolutely not true. Maybe in the parish you were married at a form wasn’t required by my husband had to sign one. Not only did he have to sign one but he was also encouraged to attend RCIA classes so he would be familiar with the Catholic faith and help in raising our children as Catholics!

 

[robwar]

I think this is at the core of the issue. My husband is agnostic yet signed a form when we got our marriage blessed in the church saying he agreed to raise our children in the Catholic faith. If this women would be willing to do the same then I think it would be ok for you to consider a serious relationship with her that might lead to marriage. Just keep in mind that many children learn their faith from their mothers so she would have to be 100% committed to raising Catholic children.

Don’t dismiss her simply because of her Protestant faith. What a good way to evangelize and bring her to the Catholic faith than to marry her! lol

Children need both parents, it is not just a “women” thing to teach and model religion in the home. Too many men are not in this picture. Children need both parents, not just one.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I think the notion that a Catholic cant marry a non-Catholic Christian is nonsense. I have been married to a wonderful Protestant woman for 25 years. My Catholic mother married, licitly and in the Church, a Protestant man, back in 1955. I was raised Catholic and my Protestant father took that duty so seriously that if my mother was ill, HE would take me to Mass.

Yes there are difficulties particularly with some denominations. To suggest that it’s impossible though, is simple bigotry.

It’s NOT bigotry. It’s life experience. I’m glad your experience has been positive, but there are many, many problems in general with marrying outside of one’s faith, especially with certain denominations or cults. Pentacostals tend toward extreme beliefs and extreme practices, and many if not most of them are very ANTI-Catholic.

I can’t imagine that the OP is going to get very far into his discussions with this girl without some of these issues cropping up.

 

[robwar]

I think the notion that a Catholic cant marry a non-Catholic Christian is nonsense. I have been married to a wonderful Protestant woman for 25 years. My Catholic mother married, licitly and in the Church, a Protestant man, back in 1955. I was raised Catholic and my Protestant father took that duty so seriously that if my mother was ill, HE would take me to Mass.

Yes there are difficulties particularly with some denominations. To suggest that it’s impossible though, is simple bigotry.

Your experience is the exception. All you need to do is look on the prayer requests on CAF to find and large number of them where a Catholic married a non-Catholic and now there is strife and conflicts over religion and raising the children.

 

[bzkoss236]

Absolutely not true. Maybe in the parish you were married at a form wasn’t required by my husband had to sign one. Not only did he have to sign one but he was also encouraged to attend RCIA classes so he would be familiar with the Catholic faith and help in raising our children as Catholics!

Then at the very least, it is not required universally any more. It could also do with when you were married, as I was married only recently. My brother was married in a different diocese and his wife didn’t have to sign one either. When were you married?

 

[Chorister1980]

I’m married to a non-practising Protestant. He was brought up Church of Scotland.

We have been married for almost 12 years, we married in the church and had to get dispensation to do so from the bishop, I was told at the time it wouldn’t be a problem as he was baptised in a Christian faith, if he had been unbaptised or of a non Christian religion the dispensation would have been harder to obtain.

When we made our vows I promised to bring any children up in the faith, my husband was not asked the question.

He supports me wholeheartedly in my faith and I am very active in my parish. Our children both were christened, both now attend a catholic school and my son has made his reconciliation, was confirmed last year and will be making his first Holy Communion in May. As my daughter grows up she will also take part in these sacraments.

I think it’s probably easier for me in a way, not as easy as being married to another Catholic, but there are probably less issues with my husband than there would be if he had been involved with his church at all.

 

[CB_Catholic]

I realize that we are all Christians. I also am lead to understand that the Roman Catholic religion is the source from where other forms of Christianity have branched off. Is this true?

I’ve met a woman who is Pentecostal. Now, those of you whom have come to know me know that the most important thing to me where a relationship is concerned is that it be a relationship that God will smile upon.

Right from the start, I’ve made it clear that, based on my teaching and belief, she would need an annulment before I could enter into a relationship with her. I have to say it is much easier to lay this requirement on the table up front as emotional attachments haven’t developed.

She is receptive to this requirement.

If she decides to follow through and is granted an annulment, is there anything else I need to know about entering into a relationship with a woman outside Roman Catholic?

People have given you some sound advice here, but you should also be aware that many of the Pentecostal denominations are not Trinitarian and their Baptisms are not valid in the Catholic Church. So if you marry one of these types and it is done in the CC, the marriage would not be sacramental, only valid. You need to establish which type of Pentecostal she is. The Oneness Pentecostals do not believe in the Trinity and baptize in Jesus’ name only, while the Assemblies of God are Trinitarian and use the correct formula. There are many other Pentecostal denominations also, you have to investigate their beliefs.

So if having a Sacramental as well as valid marriage is important to you, you need to check this out.

Other than that, it has been my experience, having almost become a (Trinitarian) Pentecostal at one time, they are among the worst when it comes to being anti-Catholic, but a lot of that depends on whether they were raised in a home and church that was vehemently anti-Catholic, or if the person is an ex-Catholic, because many of them have grudges against the Church, and can really spread venom. I mention this because there may be extended family problems that develop because of marriage to a Catholic. Of course, one cannot generalize, but this is what I experienced, and was part of the reason I returned to the Church, because of the vehement anti-Catholicism I was encountering. I wanted no part of that. I wanted to worship Jesus Christ, not spend my time trashing another denomination. But, as I said, I can’t generalize about this, one has to check it out themselves, because I also met some very nice and God-fearing people who didn’t have this prejudice.