Inter-religious marriage (Catholic and Non-Denominational Christian)

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jlalonde14

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Hi everyone,

I recently got engaged to my beautiful fiance back in July. We are planning on getting married Spring of 2014. I am Catholic and she is Christian. We are both very faithful in our religions. I believe strongly in the Catholic Church and its teachings. She is very unfamiliar with Catholicism and I have slowly introduced it to her and brought her to mass with me. Anyways, my main concern and question(s) are since we are of different religions, can we have a priest say our wedding even though she is not Catholic and do I receive the sacrament of marriage? Also it has been her dream to have a beach destination wedding. Will a priest do a marriage outside of a Church? Thanks.

John
 
To marry a non-Catholic Christian you need the approval from your bishop, such approval is quite easy to obtain and your priest will take care of it. If you get married according to the requirements of the Catholic Church you marriage will be sacramental for both of you. An handful of big requirements comes to mind: 1- that you get the Bishop approval 2- that you attend the pre-Cana classes on marriage preparation, 3- that you promise to do your best to raise your future children as Catholics, 4- that you get married in the Church, but it can be only the rite of marriage without a Mass (that is quite common when a spouse is not Catholic), 5- that you share your plans with your priest at least six months before the weeding. You will not be able to be married on the beach; however, in some rare cases you could be allowed to be married in Christian church to which one of the spouses belongs.

BTW you are not of two different religions, you are both Christians.👍
 
Thank you for your response. What happens if we choose to raise them Christian and not Catholic?
 
jlalonde14 said:
Thank you for your response. What happens if we choose to raise them Christian and not Catholic?
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If you choose to raise your children in a belief different from the one of the Catholic Church you are endangering your soul, how can you raise your child in a belief that it is not your own is beyond my comprehension because that would imply that deep down you believe that your belief is false. What would a child think of dad’s belief if he sees that he is being taught something different, how would a child acknowledge the father’s authority if the father is not to be trusted on something as important as God.
My suggestion is that you have really serious conversations with your girlfriend in regard to this topic and that you also study the teachings of the Church in more detail. There is nothing wrong not being fully informed now, but usually a lot of problems about faith and marriage come with the children and at that point people are so stuck in a situation that are not willing to make hard decisions. The problems that you choose to ignore now will bite you in the butt a few years later, there is no way out of it. Family planning and the immorality of birth control is something else that you need to address well before getting married, that is another major source of fights later in marriage.
 
Cristiano said:
If you choose to raise your children in a belief different from the one of the Catholic Church you are endangering your soul, how can you raise your child in a belief that it is not your own is beyond my comprehension because that would imply that deep down you believe that your belief is false. What would a child think of dad’s belief if he sees that he is being taught something different, how would a child acknowledge the father’s authority if the father is not to be trusted on something as important as God.
My suggestion is that you have really serious conversations with your girlfriend in regard to this topic and that you also study the teachings of the Church in more detail. There is nothing wrong not being fully informed now, but usually a lot of problems about faith and marriage come with the children and at that point people are so stuck in a situation that are not willing to make hard decisions. The problems that you choose to ignore now will bite you in the butt a few years later, there is no way out of it. Family planning and the immorality of birth control is something else that you need to address well before getting married, that is another major source of fights later in marriage.
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Thank you for the response. I do not understand how I am “endangering” my soul if the children were raised Christian and not Catholic. Do you believe Christians do not go to heaven? The ultimate goal as a father is to get your family to heaven, correct?
 
jlalonde14 said:
Thank you for the response. I do not understand how I am “endangering” my soul if the children were raised Christian and not Catholic. Do you believe Christians do not go to heaven? The ultimate goal as a father is to get your family to heaven, correct?
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The ultimate goal of the father is to share the Truth in such a way that the individual members of the family can choose to accept and live by such a Truth and consequently go to heaven.
Exposing people to incomplete truth is endangering their souls because we deny them the opportunity to properly choose to do what is right.
A person that willingly teaches the incomplete truth is teaching falsities against the truth itself, and considering the fact that Jesus said that he is the Truth you can see that teaching falsities is an insult to God thus sin. A person that knowingly teaches false teachings is really teaching heresies and that is an easy path to hell.
If you read St. Paul you will see that you do not have the capability of ensuring heaven for your family and in the end choosing your own damnation will not do any good, he is quite clear about that.
All Christians by the virtue of their baptism are positioned on the road to heaven. There is Catholicism outside the Catholic Church too. The problem is that protestants start with an handicap that more than often is not their choice, their salvation could be more at risk.
 
Catholicism is the fullness of the Christian faith. Only God has the final judgement so we can’t judge whether any Christians will have eternal life or not. However I would encourage you to read scripture before making such a serious decision as to raising your children outside of the Catholic church, specifically John 6:51-58 - usccb.org/bible/john/6
I’m not aware of any other way to receive the real presence of Christ through any other Christian denomination.
 
Just a suggestion, before you consider having kids you should -really- attend some classes over the Catechism. it might help out your understanding, and explain why it is so vitally important to both you and your children that you raise them Catholic.
 
jlalonde14 said:
Hi everyone,

I recently got engaged to my beautiful fiance back in July. We are planning on getting married Spring of 2014. I am Catholic and she is Christian. We are both very faithful in our religions. I believe strongly in the Catholic Church and its teachings. She is very unfamiliar with Catholicism and I have slowly introduced it to her and brought her to Mass with me. Anyways, my main concern and question(s) are since we are of different religions, can we have a priest say our wedding even though she is not Catholic and do I receive the sacrament of marriage? Also it has been her dream to have a beach destination wedding. Will a priest do a marriage outside of a Church? Thanks.

John
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I corrected your post - it’s Mass not mass.

Now, as for your questions…If you believe strongly in the Church and her teachings…You know that marrying outside of the faith will open up difficulties. You MUST promise to raise the children as Catholics. Does she know this? In past times, the non-Catholic spouse had to convert, but this is no longer required. However, with 2 separate faiths, there are going to be issues. I would strongly caution you not to marry until your girlfriend has a FULL understanding of the obligations of Catholics to attend Mass, to receive the sacraments, and to teach our faith to our children. If she refuses, then she will not add to your faith, but tear it down. You will say, “But she is a Christian!” To that I say, “But she is NOT a Catholic.” Many of the non-denominational churches are very ANTI-Catholic. This can end up being more of a problem than marrying, say, a Buddhist or a Hindu. (as far as attitude toward Catholicism. Other issues are made worse.)

If you have not gone through pre-Cana yet (pre-marriage program required by the Church), please go and see your priest ASAP. You will both need to enroll in this before you get married. No, there is no such thing as a Catholic beach wedding since we can’t receive the sacrament of Holy Eucharist on the beach. You must wed your bride in a Catholic Church or you are not in a valid marriage.

Please go and speak with a priest as soon as possible.
 
Before you can be married in the Catholic Church you have to go to your parish and register and sign-up for the mandatory pre-marriage classes. In my archdiocese they are no longer called pre-Cana, but when I was married 30 years ago they were. When you talk to the Liturgical Coordinator about signing up for the pre-marriage classes they will explain everything to you that you will need to do in order to have a Catholic wedding, or rather marriage which is a sacrament. You can then speak to your fiance and decide if you will want to do those things to be married in the Church.

Our pastor will not marry an engaged couple who are not both Catholic. It’s not the same everywhere, some will, some won’t. Listen to some of this very wise advice posted here. I was married in a Catholic wedding, rather I should say I was married in the Catholic Church (with Mass) and my spouse was not Catholic. I am a cradle Catholic and have been a practicing Catholic since a little girl. He went through the pre-Cana process and agreed to raise the children Catholic. We did not have the same belief in the Holy Eucharist and The Holy Catholic Church, rather he did not. When you marry someone who is not the same religion as you are, Catholic, it does cause so many problems and heartache on down the road. Some are lucky and their spouse goes through RCIA and convert. Please find out beforehand. Especially after the children are born it can become most difficult if you both are not of the same committed belief in Catholicism. Your pastor can guide you on this, go talk to him. They have plenty of resources to help you answer anything that want.

May God Guide You Both and Bless you through this decision and process. Listen to Him with an open heart and mind. 🙂
 
TheRealJuliane said:
I corrected your post - it’s Mass not mass.👍 Yes! Thank you for doing this!

Now, as for your questions…If you believe strongly in the Church and her teachings…You know that marrying outside of the faith will open up difficulties. You MUST promise to raise the children as Catholics. Does she know this? In past times, the non-Catholic spouse had to convert, but this is no longer required. However, with 2 separate faiths, there are going to be issues. I would strongly caution you not to marry until your girlfriend has a FULL understanding of the obligations of Catholics to attend Mass, to receive the sacraments, and to teach our faith to our children. If she refuses, then she will not add to your faith, but tear it down. You will say, “But she is a Christian!” To that I say, “But she is NOT a Catholic.” Many of the non-denominational churches are very ANTI-Catholic. This can end up being more of a problem than marrying, say, a Buddhist or a Hindu. (as far as attitude toward Catholicism. Other issues are made worse.)

If you have not gone through pre-Cana yet (pre-marriage program required by the Church), please go and see your priest ASAP. You will both need to enroll in this before you get married. No, there is no such thing as a Catholic beach wedding since we can’t receive the sacrament of Holy Eucharist on the beach. You must wed your bride in a Catholic Church or you are not in a valid marriage.

Please go and speak with a priest as soon as possible.
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jlalonde14 said:
Thank you for the response. I do not understand how I am “endangering” my soul if the children were raised Christian and not Catholic. Do you believe Christians do not go to heaven? The ultimate goal as a father is to get your family to heaven, correct?
Click to expand...
As a Catholic, you have received the fullness of Christian doctrine. All denominations born of the Protestant Reformation are less-than-full to varying degrees. You have a responsibility to raise up your own children in the fullness of the faith. Anything you withhold from that is withholding from the teaching you have received.

[BIBLEDRB]Revelation 22:18-19[/BIBLEDRB]

(Your fiance is not required to teach the fullness of Christian doctrine herself, because she has not yet received it. However, she will be required to not impede your children’s own reception of full doctrine. I.e. she will be required to allow you to raise your children Catholic.)

Back to your original question, you don’t say whether your fiance has been baptized. If she has, then your marriage will be a sacrament. If she has not, then your marriage will be a valid natural marriage and would automatically become a sacrament when she is baptized (no further blessing needed).
 
jlalonde14 said:
Thank you for the response. I do not understand how I am “endangering” my soul if the children were raised Christian and not Catholic. Do you believe Christians do not go to heaven? The ultimate goal as a father is to get your family to heaven, correct?
Click to expand...
Catholics ARE Christian.

Catholics are the original Christians and the Christians with the fullness of Truth that Christ revealed to the World.

Why would you teach your children only parts of the truth? Don’t you want the best for them?

I, personally, could not teach my child only a part of Christianity. I would want to give them the fullness of Truth that the Catholic Church contains.
 
jlalonde14 said:
Thank you for your response. What happens if we choose to raise them Christian and not Catholic?
Click to expand...
You probably will not be able to be married by a priest because if you were to marry her and she did not become Catholic and you wanted to be married in a Catholic church and by a priest, you would need to promise to raise your children in the Catholic faith. If you don’t desire to do this then it would be dishonest of you to promise the Catholic Church one things in order to be married by a priest and do the other. If you are as strong in your faith as you say, you would want to raise them in the Catholic Church. Also, she would need to have some kind of baptism (trinitarian) in order to marry her within the Church. She would need to have a certificate of baptism. Since she is non-denominational, I would think that she wouldn’t have one.
 
Your main concern should not be about the wedding ceremony, but what the future will be like for you if you both continue to hold to your respective religions. Every time I read about a situation like this I feel compelled to speak up and say something. Speaking from personal experience, I will say that no matter how much you are determined to put aside your religious differences, it is extremely hard, especially if the two of you are as devout as you say. Paul says for us to not be unequally yoked. I am not saying that your fiance is not a sincere Christian, but I am saying that there is a reason that there has been such a divide between Catholics and Protestants over the centuries. Eventually these differences can creep into your relationship causes deep friction and conflict. Additionally, your faith should be THE most important thing in your life, and when you cannot share it with the person whom you love more than anyone on earth, it can become a source of tension and resentment. It’s your decision and your life, but I would think very, very hard about it.
 
jlalonde14 said:
Hi everyone,

I recently got engaged to my beautiful fiance back in July. We are planning on getting married Spring of 2014. I am Catholic and she is Christian. We are both very faithful in our religions. I believe strongly in the Catholic Church and its teachings. She is very unfamiliar with Catholicism and I have slowly introduced it to her and brought her to mass with me. Anyways, my main concern and question(s) are since we are of different religions, can we have a priest say our wedding even though she is not Catholic and do I receive the sacrament of marriage? Also it has been her dream to have a beach destination wedding. Will a priest do a marriage outside of a Church? Thanks.

John
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+J.M.J.
You should NEVER, NEVER marry a Protestant or anyone who is not a Traditional Catholic in a state of sanctifying grace. Such a marriage would never be blessed by the Lord God, and you would be putting your immortal soul in serious danger of damnation. Your Protestant wife will most likely pervert / weaken your Faith, and you may very well lose it. You have misused the glorious title of “Christian” above. While you refer to a Protestant as a “Christian,” she is in fact a heretic who has rejected Papal Infallibility, Transsubstantiation, the Immaculate Conception and Assumption of Our Lady, devotion to the Saints, the Priesthood, the place of Sacred Tradition, and many other INTEGRAL parts of true Christianity, namely the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church etc. and taken in its place all the Sola fide, Sola Scripture falsehoods. No one who “believes strongly in the Catholic Church and its [her] teachings” would do such a thing.

Despite what has been said above - YES, these are two religions : that which was founded by Jesus Christ, His Spotless Bride the Catholic Church - and the perverted heretical shoot-off founded by Martin Luther & company which shamefully and deceitfully calls itself “Christianity,” namely Protestantism.

Remember, outside the Church there is no salvation. There are no “levels” of Grace and Truth in different Protestant religions. It is either Truth or not, either the One True Church or not. You either scatter FOR our Blessed Redeemer or AGAINST Him.

Would you ever even think of bringing up children as Protestants, just to please your Protestant wife ? How shameful and cowardly ! Are we to please men (or women,) especially heretics in a state of mortal sin, or please Jesus Christ ? If you truly loved your wife, you would marry her only on the condition that she:
  1. leaves her false Protestant religion and embraces Traditional Catholicism
  2. agrees to raise your children in Catholic Tradition, including having as many children as God wills, teaching modesty, etc.
If you would so dare as to bow down to your wife in regard to salvation, the most important business of your life as St. Alphonsus says, what you are doing is not manly, not virtuous, and despicable in the sight of the Lord God. Doing this, and then bringing up children in Protestant error will earn them a definite place in Hell - and for you, right at the very bottom. The Catholics who “believe strongly in the Church and her teachings” and then reject them are the ones burning the furthest down in the pit of Hell. They spit in the face of Jesus Christ, Who suffered and died for your salvation. And what about the children ? YOU WOULD BE TEACHING THEM LIES. Remember what Our Lord said to those who led the little children astray - it would have been better to have had a millstone tied around your neck and cast into the sea, still never to have been born…

A marriage like you said would never be blessed by the Lord God or by the Catholic Church. It would be an abomination before His eyes. But remember, Our Lord wills you to be saved ! As a father, you DO need to ensure the salvation of your wife and children as well. If your Protestant fiancée is not willing to leave error, then it is not God’s Will for you to be married. Instead, look for a good Traditionalist Catholic woman, a woman of God and a true daughter of Mary. God will provide, and He will reward you with a special place in Heaven if you obey Him and do His Will. Speaking of which - Who better to ask for help in knowing and doing perfectly the Will of God than the Blessed Virgin Mary Herself ? Run to Her and ask Her for help ! She is Our Mother of Perpetual Help and She WILL help you and all who invoke Her !
 
FilsdelaBVM said:
+J.M.J.
You should NEVER, NEVER marry a Protestant or anyone who is not a Traditional Catholic in a state of sanctifying grace. Such a marriage would never be blessed by the Lord God, and you would be putting your immortal soul in serious danger of damnation. …
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This is an erroneous mix of statements that goes directly against the teachings of the Church. Please provide Catholics references if you want some credibility.
 
My Father was conservative catholic, Mother lutheran, sister Dalia Lama, other sister liberal catholic, brother Christian denomination

anyway it is diversity. 🙂

Tough deal but easy fix. Catholics believe they have ultimate truth and so do Christians. Everyone thinks only my religion makes it to heaven, hmmm

I would celebrate what you have in common with Christ which is so much and so very little on the secondary issue you disagree. Move forward in Christ for the sakes of kids and great family life. God Bless.
 
FilsdelaBVM said:
+J.M.J.
You should NEVER, NEVER marry a Protestant or anyone who is not a Traditional Catholic in a state of sanctifying grace. Such a marriage would never be blessed by the Lord God, and you would be putting your immortal soul in serious danger of damnation. Your Protestant wife will most likely pervert / weaken your Faith, and you may very well lose it. You have misused the glorious title of “Christian” above. While you refer to a Protestant as a “Christian,” she is in fact a heretic who has rejected Papal Infallibility, Transsubstantiation, the Immaculate Conception and Assumption of Our Lady, devotion to the Saints, the Priesthood, the place of Sacred Tradition, and many other INTEGRAL parts of true Christianity, namely the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church etc. and taken in its place all the Sola fide, Sola Scripture falsehoods. No one who “believes strongly in the Catholic Church and its [her] teachings” would do such a thing.

Despite what has been said above - YES, these are two religions : that which was founded by Jesus Christ, His Spotless Bride the Catholic Church - and the perverted heretical shoot-off founded by Martin Luther & company which shamefully and deceitfully calls itself “Christianity,” namely Protestantism.

Remember, outside the Church there is no salvation. There are no “levels” of Grace and Truth in different Protestant religions. It is either Truth or not, either the One True Church or not. You either scatter FOR our Blessed Redeemer or AGAINST Him.

Would you ever even think of bringing up children as Protestants, just to please your Protestant wife ? How shameful and cowardly ! Are we to please men (or women,) especially heretics in a state of mortal sin, or please Jesus Christ ? If you truly loved your wife, you would marry her only on the condition that she:
  1. leaves her false Protestant religion and embraces Traditional Catholicism
  2. agrees to raise your children in Catholic Tradition, including having as many children as God wills, teaching modesty, etc.
If you would so dare as to bow down to your wife in regard to salvation, the most important business of your life as St. Alphonsus says, what you are doing is not manly, not virtuous, and despicable in the sight of the Lord God. Doing this, and then bringing up children in Protestant error will earn them a definite place in Hell - and for you, right at the very bottom. The Catholics who “believe strongly in the Church and her teachings” and then reject them are the ones burning the furthest down in the pit of Hell. They spit in the face of Jesus Christ, Who suffered and died for your salvation. And what about the children ? YOU WOULD BE TEACHING THEM LIES. Remember what Our Lord said to those who led the little children astray - it would have been better to have had a millstone tied around your neck and cast into the sea, still never to have been born…

A marriage like you said would never be blessed by the Lord God or by the Catholic Church. It would be an abomination before His eyes. But remember, Our Lord wills you to be saved ! As a father, you DO need to ensure the salvation of your wife and children as well. If your Protestant fiancée is not willing to leave error, then it is not God’s Will for you to be married. Instead, look for a good Traditionalist Catholic woman, a woman of God and a true daughter of Mary. God will provide, and He will reward you with a special place in Heaven if you obey Him and do His Will. Speaking of which - Who better to ask for help in knowing and doing perfectly the Will of God than the Blessed Virgin Mary Herself ? Run to Her and ask Her for help ! She is Our Mother of Perpetual Help and She WILL help you and all who invoke Her !
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Do not condemn my fiance. No man is to judge another. God is the judge of all men. Keep your opinions to yourself on this matter for you have no right to judge Protestants or any other faith in that manner.
 
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