Interacting with homosexual family members

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My wife’s aunt is in a gay relationship. Is it wrong or a sin for us to continually invite them (as a couple) into our home as we would do with the rest of our family? Also, her girlfriend is currently babysitting our children while we are away at work every day. Are we comitting a sin by utilizing her babysitting services?
 
Oh I cannot wait to read the feedback on this one. My two cents is that unless they are trying to push their values on you or your children, you are perfectly right to show them charity by inviting them to dinner, and allowing them to do you the service of babysitting without any fear what so ever of it being considered a sin.

In fact I think it would be a sin not to show them charity considering the valuable service they provide you.

You must love the sinner, but you are right to hate the sin.

I spent this past weekend watching football with my fiance, her family, and two friends of her family. You guessed it the two are female companions. I love them dearly, as they are probably the nicest people you would ever want to meet. I hope God is merciful to them at the end.
 
That’s almost the exact situation we find ourselves in. Her girlfriend is the sweetest person and cares for our children in a loving manner, as she does with her own 4-year-old twins (from her previous marriage). My wife’s aunt, however, makes it difficult to love her. While she doesn’t do it around the children, she is loud and crass, and constantly tells foul jokes and describes the “relations” she has with her girlfriend. All things that we DON’T want to hear.

But we have tried to stick to the “hate the sin, love the sinner” way that you mentioned.
 
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SeekerCV:
That’s almost the exact situation we find ourselves in. Her girlfriend is the sweetest person and cares for our children in a loving manner, as she does with her own 4-year-old twins (from her previous marriage). My wife’s aunt, however, makes it difficult to love her. While she doesn’t do it around the children, she is loud and crass, and constantly tells foul jokes and describes the “relations” she has with her girlfriend. All things that we DON’T want to hear.

But we have tried to stick to the “hate the sin, love the sinner” way that you mentioned.
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This is a little more information than your original post. The same rule applies to your wife’s Aunt who is a homosexual, as it would to your heterosexual Uncle Charlie who tells off color jokes, scratches body parts, farts, and describes his pathetic sex life. It is a non-starter…in this case you can do whatever you want, but it would be best to tell her that you love them dearly, but you do not want to hear about the details of their sex life.
 
Oh, believe me, she has been told by MANY more family members than us, that her brand of humor is not welcomed. But her attitude is basically:

“This is who I am. I don’t try to change you, so don’t try to change me.”
 
I’m faced with a similar situation. My raising and teaching my six kids is the first consideration. I must be charitable to my relatives (who are living a homosexual life), because I want my children to learn charity.

Do I treat the homosexual relationship as acceptable, though? Do I treat them as a couple? Invite them over as a couple? Send cards to them as a couple?

Do I teach my children properly if I do this?

Peace.
John
 
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SeekerCV:
Oh, believe me, she has been told by MANY more family members than us, that her brand of humor is not welcomed. But her attitude is basically:

“This is who I am. I don’t try to change you, so don’t try to change me.”
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A silly response if there ever was one. You might easily answer, “You find me intolerant and demanding? That is who I am.”
 
A question I have, as I also have gay members of my family, is how can I hate the sin when I love the partner of my family member and consider her a part of my family? Wouldn’t to hate the sin involve wishing your family member would break off the relation with her partner?

Pax,
Amy
 
John,

I’m not the expert in protocol for homosexuals, but since I’m in this thread, I think charity demands that we extend every courteousy to them that we possibly can. God made them, and loves them, and therefore you should also try to love them. If you can’t love them then try to tolerate them.

Now that being said, nobody need put up with inappropriate actions. If they start kissing in front of your family or you, trust me, you don’t need to invite them back.

The OP with the crude guest has every right not to want them over if he so chooses, but that has less to do with their homosexuality than it does with the persons apparent lack of self control.
 
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a_cermak:
A question I have, as I also have gay members of my family, is how can I hate the sin when I love the partner of my family member and consider her a part of my family? Wouldn’t to hate the sin involve wishing your family member would break off the relation with her partner?

Pax,
Amy
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The first person to appear in front of Jesus at his resurrection was Mary Magdalen. She had 7 demons cast out of her and was a notrious prostitute before her healing. I find it interesting that Jesus would choose to appear to her. He ate with notorious sinners during his life. His actions speak of love. Our actions need to reflect his. Maybe through our love these people will find the way. Maybe it will happen at the end of their life, maybe they will cry “Mercy” Just try to Love them Amy.
 
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FrankR:
John,

I’m not the expert in protocol for homosexuals, but since I’m in this thread, I think charity demands that we extend every courteousy to them that we possibly can. God made them, and loves them, and therefore you should also try to love them. If you can’t love them then try to tolerate them.

Now that being said, nobody need put up with inappropriate actions. If they start kissing in front of your family or you, trust me, you don’t need to invite them back.

The OP with the crude guest has every right not to want them over if he so chooses, but that has less to do with their homosexuality than it does with the persons apparent lack of self control.
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Yes, but I would say that truly loving them may involve a refusal to recognize their relationship.

I want to do more than tolerate them–I want to love them. Charity–not politeness–is the overriding consideration here. My refusal to treat what is disordered as if it weren’t may be called for. Not to punish them–quite the opposite.
When they are “a couple”, as made obvious by the day-to-day conduct of their life–their socializing, etc.–it doesn’t matter that they aren’t kissing or carressing in front of us. I will not send, for example, an invitation to the two of them to a formal gathering (any more than I would recognize an incestual relationship in that way).

That is just the aspect regarding their well-being. The formation of my kids’ understanding of the gift of sexuality is another (and bigger one for me). With that in consideration I will tend to accept even less my relatives’ homosexual togetherness.

Peace.
John
 
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FrankR:
The first person to appear in front of Jesus at his resurrection was Mary Magdalen. She had 7 demons cast out of her and was a notrious prostitute before her healing. I find it interesting that Jesus would choose to appear to her. He ate with notorious sinners during his life. His actions speak of love. Our actions need to reflect his. Maybe through our love these people will find the way. Maybe it will happen at the end of their life, maybe they will cry “Mercy” Just try to Love them Amy.
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The idea that Mary Magdalen is the prostitute in Scripture is speculation which, I believe, isn’t taught by the majority of Church Fathers, and certainly not by the magisterium.

Jesus was never just being polite with sinners. If the woman at the well had replied to Jesus’s, “Go and sin no more,” with “Lord, just accept me for who I am,” I doubt Jesus would have said “Okay.” Indeed, he wasn’t at ALL slow to say, “The man you are living with now is not your husband.” Would he have said nothing if she’d been living with a woman?

We are called to love…and that often involves refusing to sugar-coat the truth for the sake of being nice.
Peace.
John
 
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a_cermak:
A question I have, as I also have gay members of my family, is how can I hate the sin when I love the partner of my family member and consider her a part of my family? Wouldn’t to hate the sin involve wishing your family member would break off the relation with her partner?

Pax,
Amy
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If you really love her, you should be wishing and praying that she breaks off the relation. That may or may NOT involve words or action by you. Situations are different.

I’d definitely be praying for them before the Blessed Sacrament, though.

Peace.
John
 
john ennis:
Jesus was never just being polite with sinners. If the woman at the well had replied to Jesus’s, “Go and sin no more,” with “Lord, just accept me for who I am,” I doubt Jesus would have said “Okay.” Indeed, he wasn’t at ALL slow to say, “The man you are living with now is not your husband.” Would he have said nothing if she’d been living with a woman?
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The thing for me is, Jesus knew all about the circumstances of the woman, so he had the ability to judge her. I don’t know all the variables in a person’s life, so I don’t feel I have the right to judge them.

Pax,
Amy
 
john ennis:
A silly response if there ever was one. You might easily answer, “You find me intolerant and demanding? That is who I am.”
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That is a great response that I never thought of! And it’s a fair one, as well. Thank you!

sCV
 
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SeekerCV:
My wife’s aunt is in a gay relationship. Is it wrong or a sin for us to continually invite them (as a couple) into our home as we would do with the rest of our family? Also, her girlfriend is currently babysitting our children while we are away at work every day. Are we comitting a sin by utilizing her babysitting services?
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I have a similar situation in my family. We have made it clear we disaprove of their relationship but we do not exclude them from family functions. They are treated with love and repsect. They likewise respect our views and take no overt actions while around us to express their homosexuality-no kissing or holding hands, etc.

I will have to admit , however,l that if i had minor children at home I might be more restrictive.
 
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a_cermak:
The thing for me is, Jesus knew all about the circumstances of the woman, so he had the ability to judge her. I don’t know all the variables in a person’s life, so I don’t feel I have the right to judge them.

Pax,
Amy
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Amy, I believe your attitude is the right one. Not only do you not have the variables that allow you to judge, you are yourself a sinner and therefore cannot judge.
 
john ennis:
We are called to love…and that often involves refusing to sugar-coat the truth for the sake of being nice.
Peace.
John
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True! My wife and I can definitely be more assertive on this point.

sCV
 
I’m going to offer a dissenting opinion here.

I think there are too many people on the extremes and not enough finding a balance of love the sinner/hate the sin. More often than not, particular types of sinners are ostracized for their behavior. On the other end of the spectrum, people tend to be overly accomodating in an effort to be loving toward the person, and implicitly condone their sins.

Regular dinner invitations and interaction with your children cross the line of common courtesy. you’re going out of your way to give them a semi-public venue for their relationship (your home and your children). The couple should firmly hear that you disapprove of their relationship, that any discussion of homosexual “sex” is absolutely forbidden, and that the general topic is not up for discussion or debate in an effort to keep the peace.

How can you possibly teach your kids that homosexuality is wrong, yet an active, open homosexual person is somehow qualified to spend more time with your kids than you are. It is one thing to allow them over to your house occasionally, but trusting your children, your most precious gifts to their care?? This only normalizes homosexual “families” to them. While it may not be a sin, it just seems highly imprudent.
 
There is no objective moral difference in the interactions w/homos as described in the OP, and the same kind of interactions with heteros who are divorced and remarried…or who practice contraception…etc.
 
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