Interacting with homosexual family members

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tjmiller:
There is no objective moral difference in the interactions w/homos as described in the OP, and the same kind of interactions with heteros who are divorced and remarried…or who practice contraception…etc.
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In theory you are right. However it is a lot easier to exaplain to your young children why their Aunt is snuggling and holding hands hands with another man than it is if she were snuggling and holding hands with another woman. The former realtionship can lead to somethiing good-the latter never can.
 
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tjmiller:
There is no objective moral difference in the interactions w/homos as described in the OP, and the same kind of interactions with heteros who are divorced and remarried…or who practice contraception…etc.
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True, but the OP cited public conduct of this active homosexual lifestyle family member is a cause for scandal. I have to wonder how many heterosexual Catholic couples are openly parading and promoting acceptance of their sinful choices. How many contracepting Catholic couples are conducting themselves in “the same kind of interactions” within their influential interfamily position "…constantly tells foul jokes and describes the form of ABC they are using. All things that we DON’T want to hear"? …or divorced and remarried Catholic couples publically pronouncing and seeking sanction their illicit union "…"This is who I am. I don’t try to change you, so don’t try to change me"? …or etc.?
Originally Posted by SeekerCV
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My wife’s aunt, however, makes it difficult to love her. While she doesn’t do it around the children, she is loud and crass, and constantly tells foul jokes and describes the “relations” she has with her girlfriend. All things that we DON’T want to hear.

But we have tried to stick to the “hate the sin, love the sinner” way that you mentioned.
Originally Posted by SeekerCV
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Oh, believe me, she has been told by MANY more family members than us, that her brand of humor is not welcomed. But her attitude is basically:

"This is who I am. I don’t try to change you, so don’t try to change me."

2284 **Scandal is an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil. **The person who gives scandal becomes his neighbor’s tempter. He damages virtue and integrity; he may even draw his brother into spiritual death. Scandal is a grave offense if by deed or omission another is deliberately led into a grave offense.

2285 Scandal takes on a particular gravity by reason of the authority of those who cause it or the weakness of those who are scandalized. It prompted our Lord to utter this curse: "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea."86 Scandal is grave when given by those who by nature or office are obliged to teach and educate others. Jesus reproaches the scribes and Pharisees on this account: he likens them to wolves in sheep’s clothing.87

2286 Scandal can be provoked by laws or institutions, by fashion or opinion.

Therefore, they are guilty of scandal who establish laws or social structures leading to the decline of morals and the corruption of religious practice, or to "social conditions that, intentionally or not, make Christian conduct and obedience to the Commandments difficult and practically impossible."88 This is also true of business leaders who make rules encouraging fraud, teachers who provoke their children to anger,89 or manipulators of public opinion who turn it away from moral values.

2287 Anyone who uses the power at his disposal in such a way that it leads others to do wrong becomes guilty of scandal and responsible for the evil that he has directly or indirectly encouraged. "Temptations to sin are sure to come; but woe to him by whom they come!"90
 
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FrankR:
Oh I cannot wait to read the feedback on this one. My two cents is that unless they are trying to push their values on you or your children, you are perfectly right to show them charity by inviting them to dinner, and allowing them to do you the service of babysitting without any fear what so ever of it being considered a sin.

In fact I think it would be a sin not to show them charity considering the valuable service they provide you.

You must love the sinner, but you are right to hate the sin.

I spent this past weekend watching football with my fiance, her family, and two friends of her family. You guessed it the two are female companions. I love them dearly, as they are probably the nicest people you would ever want to meet. I hope God is merciful to them at the end.
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I can but not agree with Frank. You are absolutely right. I have just visited my brother in the US with my family members. I told my boys, he is your uncle and you should love him as he loves you. But this is the teaching of the church with regard to homosexuality…my boys love their uncle dearly and prays for him. Compassion and compassion…as my late Bishop, Msgr. Leo Sukoto SJ (The Archdiocese of Jakarta) used to be known as a person who is “Fortiter in re, suaviter in se”=firm in his opinion but full of charity in his action.

My two cents.
 
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JeffDompas:
I can but not agree with Frank. You are absolutely right. I have just visited my brother in the US with my family members. I told my boys, he is your uncle and you should love him as he loves you. But this is the teaching of the church with regard to homosexuality…my boys love their uncle dearly and prays for him. Compassion and compassion…as my late Bishop, Msgr. Leo Sukoto SJ (The Archdiocese of Jakarta) used to be known as a person who is “Fortiter in re, suaviter in se”=firm in his opinion but full of charity in his action.

My two cents.
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I have almost the same situation my niece has a live in girl friend. We are on friendly terms with both. They are very nice folks but according to Church teachings are living in sin.

Do we have an obligation to point this out to them ??? My wife is adamant that we never mention it.

Jesus tell us that we are responsible for admonishing folks who are sinning otherwise we are as culpable as they are.
 
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wcknight:
I have almost the same situation my niece has a live in girl friend. We are on friendly terms with both. They are very nice folks but according to Church teachings are living in sin.

Do we have an obligation to point this out to them ??? My wife is adamant that we never mention it.

Jesus tell us that we are responsible for admonishing folks who are sinning otherwise we are as culpable as they are.
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I think we should be strategic in how we do things. If I contemplate in how Jesus handle things, he gets at you at the right time, His time and not ours. He lives His words, and so should we and when its time to put it on the table then we should, and its with this fraternal spirit, we say the truth… Even that, I was accused a zealot. We had arguments after arguments. He was so sad and couldnt believe what I’ve said. I told him in the end that he is my brother and I love him dearly, my flesh and blood but it is my responsibility, driven by my sincere love to him that made me say what I had to say. Above all, Ad majorem Dei gloriam. He understands and he has now enrolled “faith course”. We can only but pray and become witness but in God’s plan and way.

Lets pray together.

👍
 
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JeffDompas:
I think we should be strategic in how we do things. If I contemplate in how Jesus handle things, he gets at you at the right time, His time and not ours. He lives His words, and so should we and when its time to put it on the table then we should, and its with this fraternal spirit, we say the truth… Even that, I was accused a zealot. We had arguments after arguments. He was so sad and couldnt believe what I’ve said. I told him in the end that he is my brother and I love him dearly, my flesh and blood but it is my responsibility, driven by my sincere love to him that made me say what I had to say. Above all, Ad majorem Dei gloriam. He understands and he has now enrolled “faith course”. We can only but pray and become witness but in God’s plan and way.

Lets pray together.

👍
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??? not sure what you mean by this, when is the right time ? How can you tell when it is time to speak up and when not to mention it ?

I certainly would not say anything in a hurtful way, but it is not a topic that someone just blurts out. Any situation I can think of would be awkward and inappropriate at best. It’s like talking about someone’s sex life (actually it is exactly that). No one asks, because for the most part it is no one else’s business.
 
When is the right time? when you are brought into the subject, when you are asked an opinion…When it is time to speak up and when not to mention it? when its the right time.

I certainly would not say anything in a hurtful way, but it is not a topic that someone just blurts out. Any situation I can think of would be awkward and inappropriate at best. It’s like talking about someone’s sex life (actually it is exactly that). No one asks, because for the most part it is no one else’s business.

I’m not to sure either of your above statement. The subject of this discussions is “Interacting with homosexual family members.” I dont think they are just someone else…
 
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SeekerCV:
My wife’s aunt is in a gay relationship. Is it wrong or a sin for us to continually invite them (as a couple) into our home as we would do with the rest of our family? Also, her girlfriend is currently babysitting our children while we are away at work every day. Are we comitting a sin by utilizing her babysitting services?
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I think there is a risk in having them around your children. Not becasue they will abuse the Children, and not because they are trying to force homosexual ideology on your children. The threat is that if the children are around this sort of behavior, especially such behavior displayed by family members, then they may begin to view it as normal.
 
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LatinCat:
I think there is a risk in having them around your children. Not becasue they will abuse the Children, and not because they are trying to force homosexual ideology on your children. The threat is that if the children are around this sort of behavior, especially such behavior displayed by family members, then they may begin to view it as normal.
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That has actually been our concern, lately. They are not overtly vocal about being gay, but simply in the acts of their day-to-day living, our children see them functioning as a couple in the same way they see mom and dad (me and my wife) functioning in our own home. I’m wondering if this will make gay relationships something normal and accepted in their minds as they get older.

chris
 
JeffDompas said:
When is the right time? when you are brought into the subject, when you are asked an opinion…When it is time to speak up and when not to mention it? when its the right time.

I certainly would not say anything in a hurtful way, but it is not a topic that someone just blurts out. Any situation I can think of would be awkward and inappropriate at best. It’s like talking about someone’s sex life (actually it is exactly that). No one asks, because for the most part it is no one else’s business.

I’m not to sure either of your above statement. The subject of this discussions is “Interacting with homosexual family members.” I dont think they are just someone else…
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Now I’m really confused.

Are you saying that we should not interact with homosexual family members at all ???
 
My comments to latincat’s email: I disagree with your last. Homosexuality is a fact of life, it exist and its in our midst. Our children see them in their daily life as well (school, malls etc.) In our discussions it specifically talks about “interacting with homosexual family members.” Now, how can we not interact, see, talk to them at all?.

I think we should not underestimate our children’s ability to make a distinction between a heterosexual and homosexual relations. Of course they dont get this knowledge at homilies. In my case, I organize small discussions at home with the family (at least once a week). The children are suggested to come up with topics and you can imagine what comes out from the discussions.

I’m sorry if this discussions confuse you even further. I’m Indonesian and English is not our second language like Malaysia or Singapore or Philippines.
 
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