Interesting experience at Mass :-/

[NewsTheMan]

Hi Folks,

Thought I’d share 2 things that happened to me at Mass, or more precisely, pre-Mass

1. I am usually the first one to arrive, 40 minutes or so before Mass starts, as I like to sit with our Lord, pray, get into a Church frame of mind! Anyway, so I arrived and I was getting my pew organised (leaflets, hymnal, keys, etc). When a middle aged guy walks up to me with this smug look on his face and says “No no, it only starts in 40 minutes, lets get out of here!” He obviously thought Mass started on the hour instead of half past. I mean, I guess it wasn’t laughable of him or wrong or anything. It kinda just made me giggle inside. As if to say, he’s probably thinking, ‘but what’s this 20 year old doing at Mass BEFORE MASS STARTS’. And of course, he left and came back when Mass started. No - he didn’t just say well I’m here anyway might as well stay. Anyway, interesting part happens next.
2. Around 20 minutes before Mass people start coming in, and this is also the time myself and a few others (whoever wants to join) lead a rosary. Anyway, I was kneeling down just waiting, and these two ladies (around 35ish) came in sat in front of me. So anyway, we begin saying the rosary, out loud of course. As I am leading things, these ladies start giving me ‘that look’. You know? The same look you give when someone talks too loud in the cinema. And they were both reading books (novels - not the bible or missal) and acted as if I was disturbing their book reading by praying in a Church. How dare I! Instead of joining in, instead of not reading their novels, they crouched over as if to say ‘I am ignoring you’ and occasionally shot a look. I just found this absolutely absurd.

Anyway. I don’t want to judge anybody, but it made me sad because I think it highlights perfectly how people attend Mass as a matter of protocol and pure schlep rather than to ‘celebrate’ and pray. Sigh

 

[VetA]

Hi Folks,

Thought I’d share 2 things that happened to me at Mass, or more precisely, pre-Mass

1. I am usually the first one to arrive, 40 minutes or so before Mass starts, as I like to sit with our Lord, pray, get into a Church frame of mind! Anyway, so I arrived and I was getting my pew organised (leaflets, hymnal, keys, etc). When a middle aged guy walks up to me with this smug look on his face and says “No no, it only starts in 40 minutes, lets get out of here!” He obviously thought Mass started on the hour instead of half past. I mean, I guess it wasn’t laughable of him or wrong or anything. It kinda just made me giggle inside. As if to say, he’s probably thinking, ‘but what’s this 20 year old doing at Mass BEFORE MASS STARTS’. And of course, he left and came back when Mass started. No - he didn’t just say well I’m here anyway might as well stay. Anyway, interesting part happens next.
2. Around 20 minutes before Mass people start coming in, and this is also the time myself and a few others (whoever wants to join) lead a rosary. Anyway, I was kneeling down just waiting, and these two ladies (around 35ish) came in sat in front of me. So anyway, we begin saying the rosary, out loud of course. As I am leading things, these ladies start giving me ‘that look’. You know? The same look you give when someone talks too loud in the cinema. And they were both reading books (novels - not the bible or missal) and acted as if I was disturbing their book reading by praying in a Church. How dare I! Instead of joining in, instead of not reading their novels, they crouched over as if to say ‘I am ignoring you’ and occasionally shot a look. I just found this absolutely absurd.

Anyway. I don’t want to judge anybody, but it made me sad because I think it highlights perfectly how people attend Mass as a matter of protocol and pure schlep rather than to ‘celebrate’ and pray. Sigh

let them give you ‘that look’ it is their problem if they dont realize what is about to happen and cannot rip themselves away from their worldly lives, they may suffer in their eternal lives for their hardness of heart

 

[Being_Brave]

I’m just learning how to ‘be’ Catholic, and I absolutely admire the people who are there before I get there (I’m always about 15 minutes early). I don’t pray the Rosary yet, but hearing others do so when I walk in is actually a peaceful part of my Sundays. Thank you, and people like you, who teach me by example

 

[Apollos]

Around 20 minutes before Mass people start coming in, and this is also the time myself and a few others (whoever wants to join) lead a rosary… How dare I!

In my opinion it’s better to have rosaries up front in one corner of the church (e.g. in the first few pews in front of the statue of Our Lady or the tabernacle if it is off to the side, depending on how your church is set up) instead of scattered. That way people can join or not join without getting annoyed, and nobody will be trapped in front of the prayer-warriors.

 

[puzzleannie]

yes and I got to church early today intending to say LOTH before Mass, not knowing there is a new group that prays the rosary out loud at that time, and in my old age I find it harder to concentrate, so I gave it up. Tried to pray LOTH after Mass, but the OLD rosary group still says it at that time. Why the two groups don’t get together is a mystery to me, but the point it is, it is not my personal private Mass, nor is the time before and after my personal private time, nor have I any right to be disgruntled by how anyone else prays.

 

[NewsTheMan]

Being Brave, hey I’m no example - Mary herself is the example! Good luck on your Journey (and start doing the Rosary, go on, join in )

Apollos - the Rosary is done right up front to the right, closest position to the statue of Our Lady It’s interesting to note that people get annoyed, and read Jodi Picoult instead of a) joining in or b) sitting in silence preparing for Holy Mass. There are plenty of people who file in during the Rosary who like to sit in front, and if they don’t join in they just sit and wait in peace.

Why can’t everyone just join in

 

[Apollos]

Apollos - the Rosary is done right up front to the right, closest position to the statue of Our Lady

In that case, the others are in the wrong. The rosary group is an established custom in your parish, and it is public knowledge. They chose to sit in front of the group and get annoyed.

 

[damooster]

In that case, the others are in the wrong. The rosary group is an established custom in your parish, and it is public knowledge. They chose to sit in front of the group and get annoyed.

What if they were visiting for the first time? Or what if they didn’t know the “customs” of that particular parish?

To get technical about it, there is suppose to be “sacred silence” before and after Mass. It says so right in the GIRM. Granted, praying the rosary is a great thing, but to expect people to like it before Mass, when people are trying to prepare for Mass in their own ways, is irresponsible.

To the OP: if you want to pray the rosary as a group, perhaps you should push it back to 30 minutes before Mass. That way, you can pray as a group but not interrupt the people that are trying to prepare for Mass in their own ways. As already mentioned, some people like to pray the LOTH or even Stations before Mass. Expecting people to change that because you want to pray the rosary as a group is not fair.

 

[NewsTheMan]

Our Rosary is finished by 8.20 - ten minute before Mass. To be honest… I would rather hear the Rosary than the chit chat that happens before Mass. And oh boy, does it happen. And to go off on a tangent - there are people all around me who I can hear all the time during any moment of silence (even during the conscecration and transubstantiation) gossiping- saying things they just can’t hold back until after mass. Ranging from something funny they heard before Mass to the colour of X’s dress. It’s not great

I understand your point damooster and I agree to some extent. But in my parish, there is no stations, or what have you. We pray the rosary, finish within 10 minutes of Mass starting, and then listen to chatter and watch people read Jodi Picoult whilst waiting for Mass.

If people are preparing for Mass in their own ways, of course, its perfectly fine. But am I arrogant for thinking Rosary isn’t that much of a distraction? More of a joyful pre-Mass prayer? If it were me on the outside if anything I’d probably start saying the prayers in my head

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

The “old ladies” have a point regardless of what they were reading. The rosary is a private devotion that is not required of everyone at any time. It can be distracting if someone came into church to pray and a group of people behind them are praying aloud.

 

[NewsTheMan]

The “old ladies” have a point regardless of what they were reading. The rosary is a private devotion that is not required of everyone at any time. It can be distracting if someone came into church to pray and a group of people behind them are praying aloud.

Don’t know why you put old ladies in quotation marks, I didn’t use that phrase. I don’t know about you, but I was introduced to the Rosary not in private devotion but in group prayer as a 10 year old in Church, in the same situation. I don’t think its purely private.

 

[Bob_Aliano]

What if they were visiting for the first time? Or what if they didn’t know the “customs” of that particular parish?

To get technical about it, there is suppose to be “sacred silence” before and after Mass. It says so right in the GIRM. Granted, praying the rosary is a great thing, but to expect people to like it before Mass, when people are trying to prepare for Mass in their own ways, is irresponsible.

To the OP: if you want to pray the rosary as a group, perhaps you should push it back to 30 minutes before Mass. That way, you can pray as a group but not interrupt the people that are trying to prepare for Mass in their own ways. As already mentioned, some people like to pray the LOTH or even Stations before Mass. Expecting people to change that because you want to pray the rosary as a group is not fair.

I see the GIRM cited in many of these threads. Most Catholics don’t even know the GIRM exists never mind what rules are included! It’s time for the clergy to have weekly instruction on the GIRM as part of their homily since it’s obvious there is a serious lack of awareness among the general congregation.

 

[Cristiano]

Don’t know why you put old ladies in quotation marks, I didn’t use that phrase. I don’t know about you, but I was introduced to the Rosary not in private devotion but in group prayer as a 10 year old in Church, in the same situation. I don’t think its purely private.

Usually the attribute “private” as in the case of the rosary implies that it is not a specific part of a liturgy. In theory all the actions of the Church even when done in the most secret place are public actions.

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

Don’t know why you put old ladies in quotation marks, I didn’t use that phrase.

On that issue, I apologize, I misread.

I don’t know about you, but I was introduced to the Rosary not in private devotion but in group prayer as a 10 year old in Church, in the same situation. I don’t think its purely private.

A private devotion means that its not part of the official public liturgies of the Church and is something that is not required. For example, we are all required to attend Mass and receive applicable sacraments but we are not required to do a weekly holy hour, pray the divine chaplet, meditate upon icons, pray the stations of the cross, attend divine mercy devotions, or pray the rosary.

Imagine you are having some serious problems in life and you go to Mass early to pray and seek God’s grace and guidance. As you try to pray there’s a group of people praying aloud a private devotion that they like and you can’t concentrate.

At the same time, if its an established custom at the parish then perhaps people should know to expect it. But its always good to try and see things from a different perspective.

 

[Apollos]

What if they were visiting for the first time? Or what if they didn’t know the “customs” of that particular parish?

Come on, you’re being unreasonable. If *you *were visiting for the first time, and a rosary group started doing their thing right behind you, you would *automatically *know it was a pre-existing custom at that parish!

At any rate, a half-hour of silence before mass is a good thing. Besides, prayers are more effective after you’re in a state of grace, so rosaries post-mass are better than pre-mass.

 

[LoyalViews]

And they were both reading books (novels - not the bible or missal) and acted as if I was disturbing their book reading by praying in a Church. How dare I! Instead of joining in, instead of not reading their novels, they crouched over as if to say ‘I am ignoring you’ and occasionally shot a look. I just found this absolutely absurd.

HOW DARE YOU! Pray? In a CHURCH? Never have I heard of such absurdity!

Seriously though, don’t mind them. Let them think as they want. It is their problem, not yours. You were doing no harm. Don’t they realize that a church is for praying in? Not for reading novels? Oh well. Just don’t mind them.

 

[Newbie2]

HOW DARE YOU! Pray? In a CHURCH? Never have I heard of such absurdity!

Seriously though, don’t mind them. Let them think as they want. It is their problem, not yours. You were doing no harm. Don’t they realize that a church is for praying in? Not for reading novels? Oh well. Just don’t mind them.

Yeah, I’d agree. Or if it happens again, return “the look” with a smile, and ask if they’d like to join you.

 

[RobNY]

Yeah, I’d agree. Or if it happens again, return “the look” with a smile, and ask if they’d like to join you.

Ah, yeah.

I mean, it helps to know the sensibilities of the parish. At college, no one would think twice about students praying a rosary out loud before Mass. But once I did that very same thing with my friends (we were on the last decade sometime within 10 minutes before Mass), and the older couple in front of us rebuked us. All in all, it was a good chance for humility.

What’s sad is that most people don’t pray but instead talk. I think a big group rosary is a good idea, because it is time dedicated to prayer when most people would just be talking. Most people find it much easier to pray in a group than alone. There’s so much mania about doing ‘group projects’ in schools these days, why won’t some of it carry over to prayer.

puzzleannie,

I had a similar experience yesterday at Mass. I was trying to pray the rosary as the choir was trying to rehearse a choral setting of the Ave Maria. I found it so very difficult to pray the same words when they were singing and repeating them slower. I should have just switched to English, but I didn’t think of that at the time.

Apollos:

At any rate, a half-hour of silence before mass is a good thing. Besides, prayers are more effective after you’re in a state of grace, so rosaries post-mass are better than pre-mass.

I will do you one better.

The Eucharist is the well-spring of infinite grace, and our reception of its grace is limited only by our subjective preparation. Is it not better to pray before Mass, then, so as to receive more fully the boundless grace of the Eucharist?

But perhaps this is a silly argument. Pray before Mass and in thanksgiving after Mass.

O Sacred Banquet, in which Christ becomes our food, the memory of His passion is celebrated, the soul is filled with grace, and a pledge of future glory is given to us.

 

[jtodisco]

NewsTheMan,

I’m surprised no one has yet suggested that you talk to these allegedly offended ladies and try to clear the air. If they have an issue with you and your rosary prayer group it would be best to understand why and how you both can find an acceptable resolution to this. Merely talking about this openly may be enough to make them realize they should have spoken to you if they were upset instead of sitting and stewing over it in silence (which you also appear to be guilty of to a certain extent seeing as you noticed all their glances when you should’ve been focusing on your prayers).

There is, of course, the possibility that they may be entirely unwilling to compromise and want you to simply abandon your group prayers. In which case you would be justified in politely declining to do so and continue your prayers with at least the knowledge that you attempted to be accomodating. It really seems as if both you and those women reading novels were being rather harsh judges of each other, which right off the bat puts you both in the wrong before mass. I agree, church is not really the place to be reading a novel, but it’s better than the gossiping that normally takes place prior to mass in most parishes.

In the end though, you should not be concerning yourself with others’ devotion or lack thereof. As Christ said:

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” - Matthew 7.3-5

and also, concerning the judging you both seemed to have been doing:

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” - Matthew 5.23-24

Remember, when we come to mass we are coming together as members of one body in Christ. As members of the same body, and as children whom the Lord loved so much as to die for us, we should not be harming or condemning one another. When this happens in a physical body it’s called cancer, I imagine it is seen in a similar light by God when it takes place in the spiritual body.

On a more positive note, I am so glad you are devoted to the Blessed Virgin’s favorite prayer. It is a wonderful devotion, I hope you stick with it.

 

[TurboVW]

As much as I’d like to encourage recitation of the Rosary, I’d like to point out that before and after Mass should be sacred silence, just as it is proscribed.

However, most parishes suffer from throngs of people yapping away, before and after Mass. Many of the said offenders aren’t children, but adults far past a youthful age, stuck in a bad habit of sitting in the same pew and chatting with Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice, every Sunday.

If anything, silence should be promoted over vocalized devotions before and after Mass. It can be done; at predominantly Polish parishes by me in Chicago, the entire congregation is silent upon exiting as many congregants return to praying after the procession has passed.

However, it’ll take a sea change. When I lived in Rome, even the local parish in my neighborhood installed a sign in the lobby dictating people to remain quiet and not congregate and chat in church as people are praying after Mass.