Interfaith Marriage

[jenny621]

Good day – I am looking for general guidance and information, pertaining to the Catholic view of the process of marriage.

My fiance and I are preparing to wed. We were planning a large wedding, 400+ guests, but after the stress and craze of this process, we both realized that we desire something more personal and spiritual. We have chosen to elope, in order to keep our focus on the marriage itself, rather than the frivolous party it was becoming. We will have our closest with us to share in this event, and return to a more informal party with friends and family.

I am Protestant, my fiance, Catholic. While he is not a practicing Catholic, we both feel it important to surround ourselves with our faith for this important step. His family is very devout in their faith, and I wish to do everything necessary to respect the importance of faith in their family. We were to be married in my Church, and have his Priest present. We’re still trying to accomplish this in a different town, but it’s proving next to impossible.

For us wanting to maintain a religious ceremony, rather than civil, we’re finding the churches, Catholic and Protestant, to close their doors on a small, intimate ceremony. My pastor feels anything less than the BIG wedding is not acceptable.

I have chosen not to convert to Catholicism soley for the reason that I’m getting married. It is something I am interested in exploring, but for the right reasons, and the right decisions. But I find it extremely important to make certain our wedding will be recognized, and proper, as we begin a new family, and eventually, children. We will be attending Pre-Cana through his parish, and pre-marriage counseling through my church.

Does anyone have any objective advice that may help us through this journey?

 

[amcalabrese]

I am a Catholic married to a Protestant. When I propsoed, I made it clear to my wife that the ceremony would be in a Catholic church and the children would be raised Catholic. She accepted that (partly because I think although not very churchgoing at the time, she realized it was very important to me, and not quite as important to her).

The diocese where I lived (Brooklyn) sent us to a special counseling session.

We also had to get a dispensation from the Bishop of Norwich (in whose diocese her mother lived and where we got married).

We had a Mass, but no communion.

So far it has worked out fine. The baptism part should not be a problem if you belong to a Protestant church that does not practice infant baptism. But be forewarned that the priest will require the Catholic spouse to agree to raise the children as Catholics.

One thing, at the suggestion of the priest who did our interfaith counsel session, we occasionally go to each other’s churches, but the non-member does not partake in communion.

Good luck and God go with you!

 

[surfinpure]

Greetings, and welcome to the forums! I thought I might suggest that you try posting the same message in the “Family Life” forum for more replies. God bless you and your fiance!

Mary

 

[annemjones96]

I’m surprised that you are having trouble getting them to agree to a small wedding. Ours was in the Catholic church and very small. It was My inlaws and my parents. My sister, my husband’s sister, my best friend and my husband’s best friend (they were our witnesses). WE also had a handful of close friends. We didn’t have the finances or the nerves for a big wedding.

 

[Phil_H]

amcalabrese:

I am a Catholic married to a Protestant. When I propsoed, I made it clear to my wife that the ceremony would be in a Catholic church and the children would be raised Catholic. She accepted that (partly because I think although not very churchgoing at the time, she realized it was very important to me, and not quite as important to her).

The diocese where I lived (Brooklyn) sent us to a special counseling session.

We also had to get a dispensation from the Bishop of Norwich (in whose diocese her mother lived and where we got married).

We had a Mass, but no communion.

So far it has worked out fine. The baptism part should not be a problem if you belong to a Protestant church that does not practice infant baptism. But be forewarned that the priest will require the Catholic spouse to agree to raise the children as Catholics.

One thing, at the suggestion of the priest who did our interfaith counsel session, we occasionally go to each other’s churches, but the non-member does not partake in communion.

Good luck and God go with you!

Why did you find it necessary to live by your religious rules? Why did you force her to “agree” with your demands on how the children were raised? What makes you right and her wrong?

 

[Genesis315]

Phil H:

Why did you find it necessary to live by your religious rules? Why did you force her to “agree” with your demands on how the children were raised? What makes you right and her wrong?

When you belive there is an absolute Truth, you don’t compromise it.