Interfaith / Mixedfaith Marriage: Questions before Consent & Canon Law 1125

[ophicleide]

I can see this topic has been raised a few times but I can’t see a clear answer so I was wondering if anyone could help?

I am not Catholic (nor Christian); my partner is. When we were planning our marriage, my partner wished it to be in our local Catholic church. I had a look at the requirements for this to be valid. This took me to Can. 1125 which sets out the following:

1/ the Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;

2/ the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time about the promises which the Catholic party is to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party;

3/ both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage which neither of the contracting parties is to exclude.

I was happy with this.

When we visited our parish priest, he said that he regarded himself as having no jurisdiction over me and so he required an agreement from my partner to bring up any children as Catholics. Whilst I don’t think this exactly reflects the requirements of Can. 1125 it is reasonably close to me and I was happy about that.

The part that concerns me is this: at the marriage preparation course we have recently attended, it was set out that the following is part of the liturgy as a “question before consent”:

Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?

Whilst I do not have a problem with:

1. Accepting children lovingly from God; and
2. Agreeing that any children can be brought up according to the laws of the Catholic church,

I am troubled as to how I can promise to bring them up according to Catholic law when I am not subject to it; have no real knowledge of it; and cannot fulfil all the obligations that are required of a Catholic parent, not being Catholic myself.

It also seems hard to reconcile the obligations of Can. 1125 with the question asked in the liturgy: the liturgy seems much stricter than the requirement of Can. 1125.

Might I therefore ask some questions:

1. If the question before consent reflects the true position; why does Can. 1125 not simply say that the requirement is that both parents agree to bring up any children according to the laws of the Catholic church?
2. From looking on this forum, it seems to me that before 1983 the position was as in the liturgy and the requirement was for both parties to promise to bring up the children as Catholic; why was the Canon Law changed by not the liturgy?
3. I note that the question is prefixed with: “the following question may be omitted, if circumstances suggest this, for example, if the couple are advanced in years”: is this another circumstance when it can be omitted?
4. Is, in reality, that question only asked of the Catholic party?

I may be missing something obvious but, if so, that further demonstrates my concern about promising something which I am not able to deliver…

 

[AdamP88]

I think the question in the liturgy is written with Catholics in mind. The Church has always seen the ideal as being two practising Catholics marrying each other.

You may not be able to “raise” them in the faith. But you can promise to do all in your power to help your spouse do so. I.e. not be an obstacle to this end.

 

[edward_george1]

It sounds like you’re overthinking it a bit. The wording in the liturgy naturally wouldn’t bind you to some stricter obligation than the law itself would. It simply means that you agree that you won’t prevent your spouse from raising the children in the faith. That in itself is the way that you can be said to be raising your children in the faith, ensuring that they are.

-Fr ACEGC

 

[ophicleide]

It sounds like you’re overthinking it a bit. The wording in the liturgy naturally wouldn’t bind you to some stricter obligation than the law itself would.

Forgive me if, in my overthinking, I have misunderstood, but I cannot see any obligation on the non-Catholic in Canon Law beyond “being informed”: is that really what the words of the liturgy mean?

I think the question in the liturgy is written with Catholics in mind. The Church has always seen the ideal as being two practising Catholics marrying each other.

Yes: I agree.

But you can promise to do all in your power to help your spouse do so. I.e. not be an obstacle to this end.

It simply means that you agree that you won’t prevent your spouse from raising the children in the faith.

I am afraid I might be repeating the question from my first post (probably out of ignorance, I am failing to understand): but is there a reason why this is not set out in the liturgy for a marriage between a Catholic and non-Catholic. For example, could it not say:

In the case of a non-Catholic:
Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and not to prevent them being brought up according to the law of Christ and his Church?

As it stands, does it not suggest the obligation is that which was present pre-1983?

 

[edward_george1]

It doesn’t really matter what was in the law pre-1983; one of the first canons of the 83 code abrogates all previous laws, universal and particular.

You’re reading too much into the wording of the liturgical text. The reason the wording isn’t as you say is because the question is asked of both spouses. The way in which the Catholic spouse will raise the children in the faith is obviously going to be different from how the non-Catholic spouse would allow that to happen.

-Fr ACEGC

 

[1Lord1Faith]

I am troubled as to how I can promise to bring them up according to Catholic law when I am not subject to it; have no real knowledge of it; and cannot fulfil all the obligations that are required of a Catholic parent, not being Catholic myself

If you’re not satisfied with Fr ACEGC’s answer, the only solution is for you to become Catholic .

 

[Saint_Prince_Caspian]

I am troubled as to how I can promise to bring them up according to Catholic law when I am not subject to it; have no real knowledge of it; and cannot fulfil all the obligations that are required of a Catholic parent, not being Catholic myself.

When you are in marriage, the lady you marry. And I believe she is Catholic, no? Thus, she is the spouse you marry who will raise your children in the faith. Will you not cooperate by this decree in her faith? By adopting the same challenge to raise your children in the faith?

She has the opportunity to teach you the Catholic faith, does she not? And to raise your children the same? Thus, you do this together. Kind of forget the whole reason of marriage as the Church see’s fit: to become one flesh, together. You can cooperate your will with hers. Thus tying the knot together. Not breaking it. Hence, you can promise in your abilities as a husband in the Order of Sacred Tradition in the Church, to cooperate with your wife’s incentive to raise your children the same.

 

[HeDa]

1. When I have been to weddings between a Catholic and one non-Catholic the question is asked to the Catholic spouse. The non-Catholic can not promise to do something he or she doesn’t profess or believe.

 

[ophicleide]

When I have been to weddings between a Catholic and one non-Catholic the question is asked to the Catholic spouse. The non-Catholic can not promise to do something he or she doesn’t profess or believe.

Thanks very much for this. I had assumed that that was what happened (or at least was capable of happening) so it gives me some confidence that I am not going to get blank looks from our local priest when we speak to him about this!

If you’re not satisfied with Fr ACEGC’s answer, the only solution is for you to become Catholic .

I was discussing with my finacée how long it would take for this solution to be proposed!

You’re reading too much into the wording of the liturgical text

I think this demonstrates how far apart different traditons can be: I am pretty sure it is impossible in mine to read too much into the words of the liturgy (or anything else for that matter). I’m not suggesting this is advantageous but the difference is interesting in approach is, for me, rather striking.

Thanks again for the thoughts from everyone.