Internal forum

[Drlit]

Oh by the way, I do agree that if someone is told “they don’t have to seek an annulment because they can use the internal forum solution” that would be wrong and an abuse of the warm and loving path that the Internal Forum Solution can and should be.

I would recommend that an individual in this position should prayerfully consider (1) their previous marriage and the factors that led to its death – can they be traced to a premarital causal factor? (2) determine why an annulment was denied or why they are sincerely unable to seek one (3) consider the importance of the Catholic Faith and the Eucharist in their lives (4) define in their mind why and IF the present marriage, though not consecrated in a Catholic Church IS a gift of God, a source of spiritual strength and a true sacrament though never declared as such.

These are the things which must be resolved in the well examined conscience.

When that is done, the person should approach as priest and if the priest can be sincerely convinced of the (1) the invalidity of the previous marriage – though he will not formally declare it (2) the devotion of the person to his faith and the Eucharist and (3) the strength and sanctity of the present marriage, then . . .

Without judging the previous marriage null he can offer the same spirit of loving understanding that was expressed by Cardinal Ratzinger (AKA Pope Benedict)

“Can such a faith actually be an encounter with truth? Is the truth about God and man so sad and difficult, or does truth not lie in the overcoming of such legalism? Does it not lie in freedom?” (February 1991 Dallas, Texas)

And tell him that receiving the life-giving Eucharist is now matter between him and God.

Nothing more.

 

[pianoplayingmom]

I think the safest route, when one is still considered married in the eyes of the Church, is NOT to fall in love with anyone, and be obedient to the Church by resolving to live out one’s life chastely (as we are all called to do anyway). When you were living as a married person, you weren’t looking around for another spouse, were you? I believe this is the same. You must not have your eyes on anyone other than your spouse if you are still married in the Church, even though you think you aren’t. THEN, you wouldn’t have to invoke the internal forum clause, which seems like shaky ground at best.

I was turned down when I applied for an annulment. You can imagine how disappointed I was, given my greatest desire was to remarry (with no groom in sight at that point). I had to spend a lot of time in prayer to find a way to accept and do God’s will. My prayer is always to do God’s will, not mine, but it STILL took a lot of energy on my part to be able to completely accept God’s will in this. I cried a lot…and prayed a lot. Finally, I could say to myself that I was willing to live as a single person the rest of my life (or until my husband died), if that was what God was calling me to do. It was suggested that I re-apply using different grounds, which I decided to do. I didn’t think it would hurt to reapply but, if I was turned down again, I would not go any further (i.e. the Rota in Rome). I had come to a peace about the whole thing. The second time, my annulment went through. The irony is I recently met a man on CatholicMatch.com who, I believe, is a soul mate. He and I are on the same page about living in obedience to the Church teachings. However, HE does not have his annulment yet. (The application is in process; he applied before we met.) We both know that this relationship cannot cross the line to romance until his annulment happens. If it doesn’t go through, we will continue to appreciate what we have in our profound friendship. I believe the Holy Spirit is guiding us along so that we will not fall to temptation. And, it helps that he lives in a different city so we are not physically together on a day to day basis.

Anyway, my point is that we are all called to be saints. If our current situation goes against what the Church teaches, we should think about changing it, instead of looking for a way out so that we may do what we want to do. I guess I’m not secure enough in the formation of my conscience to be able to rely on it as a good authority compared to what the Church teaches. I think the safest route to holiness, at least for me, is to be obedient to Her, not to my desires. Anyway, just my two cents’ worth…

 

[Drlit]

I was turned down when I applied for an annulment. You can imagine how disappointed I was, given my greatest desire was to remarry (with no groom in sight at that point). I had to spend a lot of time in prayer to find a way to accept and do God’s will. My prayer is always to do God’s will, not mine, but it STILL took a lot of energy on my part to be able to completely accept God’s will in this. I cried a lot…and prayed a lot. Finally, I could say to myself that I was willing to live as a single person the rest of my life (or until my husband died), if that was what God was calling me to do. It was suggested that I re-apply using different grounds, which I decided to do. The second time, my annulment went through.

Anyway, my point is that we are all called to be saints. If our current situation goes against what the Church teaches, we should think about changing it, instead of looking for a way out so that we may do what we want to do. I guess I’m not secure enough in the formation of my conscience to be able to rely on it as a good authority compared to what the Church teaches. I think the safest route to holiness, at least for me, is to be obedient to Her, not to my desires. Anyway, just my two cents’ worth…

Thank you for a wonderful post. You have my admiration for your continued and finally successful efforts with the tribunal.

I do not and never have advocated for people to make up their own mind in the privacy of the their own skulls. The IFS MUST be a process with a priest. The Internal forum is described many times in the Canon Law and usually refers to the sacrament of Reconciliation. Like that sacrament, an internal forum solution must be completed with a priest and with a procedure. Just as a murderer can’t decide on his own that he is forgiven, a D and R Catholic can’t decide on his own that his previous marriage is Null. But when the tribunal CANNOT be approached for whatever reason, the person should visit their priest.

He should be convinced that the previous marriage is null, though not with the juridical certitude of an Annulment.
He should be convinced that the party cannot apply for annulment.
He should be convinced that the current marriage is a God-centered and sacred one, though not with the implication of Sacramentality.

THEN the IFS can apply.

If he sees an unexamined or poorly conceptualized conscience, he should not offer IFS. It is a pastoral judgement made in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, though involving much more time, even several conferences with the priest.

Not INSTEAD of annulment – just another route for those who cannot apply to the tribunal. I just believe the Church should not coldly cast these people aside.