Internet affair

  • Thread starter Thread starter converting2024
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

converting2024

Guest
So I am pretty sure my wife is having an internet affair. It may be in person as well but I am not sure. I found some video messages to the guy(I am assuming because the name is Aaron, which could be a name of either sex). I won’t go into detail but there are some sexually explicit videos of her during times I was not home or asleep. I feel like it is my fault. I have done some terrible things during our relationship, not cheating though. We have been having issues regarding children. She has some psychological issues stemming from childhood abuse and she doesn’t want kids. I knew that going in, but hope that therapy can change it. In the meantime I feel like we should be celibate because she is afraid NFP won’t work. Anyway I don’t know how to talk to her. I want to bring it up when she gets home tonight but compounding the issue is that my mom just got here to stay with us for a few days. Should I wait until my mom leaves to bring it up?
 
Yes. Wait.

No houseguest wants to be witness to a fight. Let Mom leave first.

It will also give you a few days to think it through before you start shouting things you’ll regret.
 
Thanks, that is what I thought. I don’t want to make it a fight. Pray for us.
 
I’m sorry for your distress and I am also praying for you and your wife. :hug1:
 
converting2024 said:
So I am pretty sure my wife is having an internet affair. It may be in person as well but I am not sure. I found some video messages to the guy(I am assuming because the name is Aaron, which could be a name of either sex). I won’t go into detail but there are some sexually explicit videos of her during times I was not home or asleep. I feel like it is my fault. I have done some terrible things during our relationship, not cheating though. We have been having issues regarding children. She has some psychological issues stemming from childhood abuse and she doesn’t want kids. I knew that going in, but hope that therapy can change it. In the meantime I feel like we should be celibate because she is afraid NFP won’t work. Anyway I don’t know how to talk to her. I want to bring it up when she gets home tonight but compounding the issue is that my mom just got here to stay with us for a few days. Should I wait until my mom leaves to bring it up?
Click to expand...
On top of all this, it seems you have an invalid marirage. A valid Catholic marriage is one that is (among some other things) open to life.😦
 
ChibiViolet said:
On top of all this, it seems you have an invalid marirage. A valid Catholic marriage is one that is (among some other things) open to life.😦
Click to expand...
She is afraid that she would hurt the child. If she was pregnant she wouldn’t abort nor is she on birth control. I want children but she is afraid to have them because of a psychological disorder, which changes things a bit. I spoke to a priest and he suggested therapy and celibacy as well.
 
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but as you said, you knew these things going into the marriage. It’s a mistake to go into a marriage hoping to change the other. If she has legitimate issues and does not want kids, then kids really might not be for her. I don’t know that she’s going to take kindly to the idea of celibacy either.

I hate to have to sound harsh, but here’s what it boils down to for me:
  1. She told you that she did not want children.
  2. You married her with the hopes of changing her mind.
  3. She did not change her mind.
  4. You’re now to going to deny her sex.
I really don’t think that this will end well.

Of course, I’m not condoning the cheating either. If she doesn’t want to be in the marriage anymore, then she should have the decency to tell you.
 
converting2024 said:
So I am pretty sure my wife is having an internet affair. It may be in person as well but I am not sure. I found some video messages to the guy(I am assuming because the name is Aaron, which could be a name of either sex). I won’t go into detail but there are some sexually explicit videos of her during times I was not home or asleep. I feel like it is my fault. I have done some terrible things during our relationship, not cheating though. We have been having issues regarding children. She has some psychological issues stemming from childhood abuse and she doesn’t want kids. I knew that going in, but hope that therapy can change it. In the meantime I feel like we should be celibate because she is afraid NFP won’t work. Anyway I don’t know how to talk to her. I want to bring it up when she gets home tonight but compounding the issue is that my mom just got here to stay with us for a few days. Should I wait until my mom leaves to bring it up?
Click to expand...
Yes, please wait until your Mom leaves. Waiting will give you a chance to organize your thoughts and devise a way to confront her without being confrontational. My daughter and son-in-law had a HUGE fight while I was visiting with them and it was awful for everyone. This is something that should be kept between the two of you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top