Internet = Near Occasion of Sin? Please help

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Callisto

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I am out of work due to mental issues and have been for some time. Consequently, I spend a lot of time on the computer. Truly excessive amounts of time since that’s what I do when I’m awake. I feel sluggish most of the time, and I procrastinate a lot when it comes to being more productive. I feel like I’m to blame for my depression for not pushing myself more, and that makes me feel even worse than I already feel. It ends up being this horrible cycle. Anyway, when I’m online (since I’m not exactly a good Catholic at the moment and haven’t been for a while), I gossip, view sinful and impure things, and do other unhealthy things. But at the same time, I talk to good Catholics, read neutral stuff, and learn more about Catholicism. I’m afraid to talk to a priest about this because I’m afraid he’ll say that the Internet is a near occasion of sin for me and then I won’t be able to go online anymore. Like, possibly for a long time or fever, perhaps. If that’s the case, then I will be very limited in talking to my Catholic friends, etc. Plus, it would be inconvenient. Anyway, if a priest tells me it is, then I don’t know what I would do. I would be heavily depressed (even moreso than I am now). If two priests told me two different things, I’d feel like I’d have to follow the advice of the stricter one.

Disclaimer: I have severe, torturous scrupulosity that makes my life a living hell when I try to be a good Catholic (even when I try to just think about being a good Catholic). I’m still technically an agnostic, but I’m leaning towards Catholicism, which to be honest, has caused me a lot more pain than joy at this point.
 
Slowly start to limit the amount of time you spend on the computer. Put a limit of 4 hours daily, so you can have 2 hours in the morning and 2 at night. When you use the computer for excessive amounts of time, you start to get ‘neo-addicted’, as I like to call it. You start to loose your creativity skills, leading you to believe the only thing that is enjoyable at home is the computer. By limiting the amount each day, you can start to do other things instead such as reading books, going for walks, etc.

As for ‘impure things’, I would suggest to split the 4 hour computer usage limit throughout the day. Go on for 1 hour, then take an hour or two break, then have another hour on the computer, etc. This is a very good strategy because you start to use your time more effectively. E.g. You go on a few forums, read a few threads, watch a few videos on youtube and read some blog posts, and the hour is up and you finish. That way your not sitting on the computer for hours on end letting yourself get bored.

God Bless and Good luck!
 
Hi Callisto!

I am sorry that you struggle with scrupulosity - you will find that many CAF members struggle as well. Know that you are in my prayers.

There are several possible practical solutions to this problem. Have you thought about having an accountability partner? The internet can provide a near occasion of sin for a lot of people, especially those living on their own who don’t share computers, but if you have someone to whom you must be accountable, you might find it easier to avoid temptations on the internet. There are even programs you can sign up for that send an email of all the websites you’ve visited to a friend you choose. Alternatively, you could simply ask a friend to check in with you on a daily/weekly/monthly basis to see how you’re doing with proper Internet usage (incidentally, if you are male, this friend should be a male, and vice versa).

I would also encourage you not to hesitate about talking to a priest about this. He will likely offer you some good advice. Furthermore, priests can be really helpful in battling scrupulosity.

You mentioned that you are afraid a priest would tell you not use the internet at all anymore. I wonder if perhaps you have allowed technology to become a kind of false idol - if fear of losing technology is keeping you away from the Church, that’s a sign that you might be too attached to it. Please understand that I am not trying to judge you here, and I of course make no claims to know your heart and mind. However, I’ve had similar personal experiences, and I can say that anything that is keeping you out of the Church or away from Confession because you’re afraid you will lose it is a problem. Nothing is worth losing your relationship with Jesus Christ. At the moment it might seem impossible - it may really feel that if you do stop using the internet (be it for a short or long time), you will be losing something that you need to survive. But once again I say: nothing is more important that your relationship with Jesus! If you think your internet usage is keeping you from Him, then it needs to go. Remember Matthew 5:30: And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Perhaps your feeling of discomfort is a wake-up call - God is calling you back to Him, and asking you for this small sacrifice of giving up internet (for now). Maybe once you have fully returned to the Church, made a good confession, and participated in Holy Communion once again, your spirit will be strengthened and the internet will no longer be a near occasion of sin for you. If you submit yourself to His will, he will give you the strength you need.

One last thing: in case you are not being treated for depression, I would strongly advise you to seek help. Don’t feel as if depression is something you have to cure on your own - there are therapies and medications you can take to help. I have been there and I know how hard it is, so please know that you are not alone.

I hope this helps! Once again, know that you are in my prayers.

Grace and peace,
J
 
I’m bipolar. Although I receive professional care (I haven’t had a manic episode in a long time), I still struggle with depression.

It’s a good thing that you recognize that your Internet usage can be problematic at times, because you can’t resolve a problem unless you know that you have one in the first place.

I can’t say much about that issue because it’s one that I don’t struggle with, however, I would like to say a few things about depression.

One of the things that helps me is to get “out of myself” (so to speak). At times, that can require quite an effort (to the point of almost having to force myself) but unfortunately (with depression) there really is no easy way to overcome it.

I take small steps and do little things. One thing that I am doing is attending mass on a daily basis (I’m writing this as I am getting prepared to go). Going to daily mass requires that I get out of bed at a certain time, it gives me a place to go, and I am using my time productively.

I go for walks on occasion. It doesn’t cost anything, I get fresh air, get in a bit of exercise, and once again… I am using my time more productively.

I find that engaging in even the smallest activities that occupy my time in a more productive light are a healthier solution to the challenge that I face. Even spending some time reading my bible is advantageous!

Again, all of this takes some effort on my part and it isn’t easy, but I find that taking small steps in the right direction is the best way for me to deal with my problem.

One thing that I have learned is that I can never overcome difficult circumstances unless I really want to. If I’m not determined, then I stay “stuck”.
 
An agnostic suffering scrupolosity. Isn’t that a contradiction of terms. I see that you are bipolar.
I agree with the other person. Get rid of the computer. It is a near occasion of sin. If you eye causes you to sin pluck it out, better to lose one of your members than for your whole body to burn in hell. (Or something like that).

Moses said “Today I set before you life and death, blessing and cursing, therefore choose life.”
Elijah said “How long will you waver between two opinions.Choose either Baal or the Lord”

Give up the Internet. The Internet is a charade. Go out and get work. Pick fruit if you have to. Lay down your life to get work even if it is for no pay.

Give up the computer and go and find work.

Do some scripture studies on work and employment.

Here is a little quiz. Which of these are work and which are not? Why?
  1. Cleaning the bathroom
  2. Reading
  3. Counselling
  4. Watching TV
  5. Praying
  6. Sleeping
  7. Washing dishes
  8. Stamp collecting
  9. Gardening
  10. Browsing the Internet
I will give you the answer. 1,3,5,7,9 are work.
2,4,6,8,10 are not work and are leisure and entertainments.

Therefore I say WORK.

Jesus said “My Father works and I Work”

Therefore I say WORK and rest on Sunday, but not from prayer. Pray without ceasing. 1 Thess 5
 
RastaPasta said:
One thing that I have learned is that I can never overcome difficult circumstances unless I really want to. If I’m not determined, then I stay “stuck”.
Click to expand...
Addendum

Finding the energy for determination isn’t easy either, but if I want to get well, I have to want to get well.
 
Make an appoint and go sit down and discuss your difficulties with a good priest…including your difficulties in Faith. You need to try to fine one that is 1 priest to work with you that you can work with here. Not going to different ones. So seek out one that you personally can work with…then stick with him. Fear not…but rather take this step.

(as for the internet there are various things that can help you there…discuss it with the Priest)
 
petrel said:
An agnostic suffering scrupolosity. Isn’t that a contradiction of terms. I see that you are bipolar.
Click to expand...
I’m not literally bipolar, but I see what you’re saying. I’m not sure if I agree with Catholicism, but when I do entertain the idea that Catholicism is true/try to live like a Catholic, it brings out severe scrupulosity.
 
Bookcat said:
Make an appoint and go sit down and discuss your difficulties with a good priest…including your difficulties in Faith. You need to try to fine one that is 1 priest to work with you that you can work with here. Not going to different ones. So seek out one that you personally can work with…then stick with him. Fear not…but rather take this step.

(as for the internet there are various things that can help you there…discuss it with the Priest)
Click to expand...
Very good and sound advice. Thank you. 🙂 I agree that I need to find a good, understanding priest. As someone with scrupulosity, it can be tempting to go to different priests, but this adds to the madness because they can give you different advice, and that leads to a worsening of the scrupulosity.
 
Callisto said:
I’m not literally bipolar, but I see what you’re saying. I’m not sure if I agree with Catholicism, but when I do entertain the idea that Catholicism is true/try to live like a Catholic, it brings out severe scrupulosity.
Click to expand...
You can’t be a part-time Catholic.
 
Being good not an easy thing especially when you are starting off on something new or are trying to overcome some old habits.

Giving into temptations is always the easiet and most ‘enjoyable’ course to follow. What makes sin so attractive is that it appeals to things that we like or find pleasure in. BUT it is a deception that is short lived and deceiving. The thing is these guilty little pleasures will often lead to more destructive behavior and separation from our intended goal, achieving holiness and being reunited with God in Heaven.

For those suffering from an over active conscience however, the trick is to distinguish between what is truly sinful and what is not. IF you find that using the internet can not be self controlled to where you are not visiting porn or other sinful sites then it really is a source for sin and should be avoided completely. Until you can limit your activities to more legitimate sites then you should avoid it. Restrict its use to just reading your email, and maybe looking up information that you can not get otherwise.

The best thing to do up front is to remove any questionable sites from your list of favorites. Having to type or remember the URLs may help you to not visit them. Limit your time by loging on just in the evening or morning to get your email, use an egg timer if you have to.

Get your resume up to date and make it a priority to check some job web sites every day such as USAJOBS.gov. Your priority should be to job hunt first and then web surf some other time. Before you ever log in you should have checked the classifieds and any job sites for potential leads AND you should have submitted an app to any that have potential.

Being depresssed is tough and in most cases a job for a professional to help with. Keep active, exercise regularly, at least two or three times a day if you are not working. Learn to play a musical instrument (if you do not already know how). Keep your mind occupied, pray or meditate, go for a walk or jog, volunteer to help out somewhere, stay as busy as you can… being idle is the worst thing for someone with depression.

Good luck and God bless you.
 
Maybe get some of this from the herb shop also-

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhodiola_rosea

“Rhodiola rosea may be effective for improving mood and alleviating depression. Pilot studies on human subjects showed that it improves physical and mental performance, and may reduce fatigue.”
 
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