Interracial Catholic (Syro Malabar) and Agnostic Marriage Help

[jseman]

I am an Indian Catholic woman from a devout family and I would like some information about marrying an Agnostic (his background is Russian Jewish but neither he nor his family are practicing Jews).

He is very familiar with Catholicism and has no problems attending Sunday mass as a family or allowing our children to be raised Catholic. However, he is extremely uncomfortable about the topic of converting to Catholicism because he does not feel it is right to proclaim a devotion to Jesus without actually believing in Him. He is open to converting if he ever actually believes in Catholic ideologies in the future, but I have a feeling this is HIGHLY unlikely considering negative past experiences that I do not want to specify here.

His mother, while not religious, did request that some Jewish traditions be incorporated into the ceremony and mass. Would this be feasible? I do not think she would be extremely upset if we couldn’t accommodate her request, but I would like to appease her as much as I can since the entire marriage will most likely cater to my family’s beliefs.

I would like information on whether or not this wedding can happen. I would also like (name removed by moderator)ut on the spiritual aspect of this marriage, i.e. what the Bible says about marrying someone who does not believe in Jesus.

 

[1ke]

His mother, while not religious, did request that some Jewish traditions be incorporated into the ceremony and mass. Would this be feasible?

The answer is: maybe.

It depends upon what Jewish traditions she is referring to. These may be things you would need to do at the reception, not during the ceremony.

Pleases also note if you are marrying an unbaptized person, you will not have a Nuptial Mass. You will have the Rite of Marriag Outside of Mass.

I do not think she would be extremely upset if we couldn’t accommodate her request, but I would like to appease her as much as I can since the entire marriage will most likely cater to my family’s beliefs.

Well, you do need to discuss this with your priest to determine what is appropriate at the Rite of Marriage and what is not. Again, Jewish customs may need to be incorporated into the reception rather than the ceremony.

I would like information on whether or not this wedding can happen.

Have you talked at all to your priest? A marriage between a Catholic an an unbaptized person requires a dispensation from disparity of cullt from the bishop. This would be something your priest can discuss with you.

I would also like (name removed by moderator)ut on the spiritual aspect of this marriage, i.e. what the Bible says about marrying someone who does not believe in Jesus.

It is unwise, and the Church does not recommend it. But, the Church does tolerate it if the Catholic insists on the marriage and can give reasonable assurance that there is no chance the Catholic will leave the faith and also that the children will be raised Catholic.

Again, these are things you should discuss with your priest and discern carefully.

 

[TheDoors]

If he is willing to attend Mass, why not start now? It is much easier to begin a relationship once you have been introduced.

 

[robwar]

I am an Indian Catholic woman from a devout family and I would like some information about marrying an Agnostic (his background is Russian Jewish but neither he nor his family are practicing Jews).

He is very familiar with Catholicism and has no problems attending Sunday mass as a family or allowing our children to be raised Catholic. However, he is extremely uncomfortable about the topic of converting to Catholicism because he does not feel it is right to proclaim a devotion to Jesus without actually believing in Him. He is open to converting if he ever actually believes in Catholic ideologies in the future, but I have a feeling this is HIGHLY unlikely considering negative past experiences that I do not want to specify here.

His mother, while not religious, did request that some Jewish traditions be incorporated into the ceremony and mass. Would this be feasible? I do not think she would be extremely upset if we couldn’t accommodate her request, but I would like to appease her as much as I can since the entire marriage will most likely cater to my family’s beliefs.

I would like information on whether or not this wedding can happen. I would also like (name removed by moderator)ut on the spiritual aspect of this marriage, i.e. what the Bible says about marrying someone who does not believe in Jesus.

unless he is willing to convert, you are going to have a difficult marriage, It is not a good idea to marry someone that does not share your faith or even share your devotion to it.
Your faith and belief in God plus the practice of it could never be shared with him. No matter how nice he is or claims that you can do what you want, that may change when children come along. It is a bad idea to marry out of one’s faith and beliefs. If his mother is already pushing for elements of her faith in the wedding, that won’t stop there when children come along and she want religious things done for them. you need to find someone that shares your Catholic faith.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

A mixed marriage can work well but when people are not on the same page spiritually it can be a very lonely experience. It is just not the same when a spouse tolerates your faith and when he shares it. Raising children in the faith is also more difficult when they don’t have a father who practices it and serves as an example. I’m married to a non-practicing Protestant so speak from experience. he is supportive and even goes to Mass with me and the kids. But…

Think very carefully before you get married. God bless.

 

[Greg_N]

I have no idea about your relationship with this man, but know this:

Jeremiah 17:9
9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Sometimes it’s best to think with your mind before you follow your heart… tread carefully sister.

 

[SeekNFind]

The Bible is clear about not being unequally yoked. I have a lot of respect for our Jewish brothers and sisters but I could not see myself marrying someone who denied Christ. Period. Although he says he will agree to raise the children Catholic and go to Mass now, if he doesn’t believe it, eventually he will probably stop going. This will create confusion for the children. I know two half-Jewish/half-Catholic women who identify as Jewish but don’t really practice any religion at all. Good luck and best wishes.

 

[PennyinCanada]

2 Corinthians 6:14-16

Do not yoke yourselves in a mismatch with unbelievers. After all, what do righteousness and lawlessness have in common, or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What accord is there between Christ and Belial, what common lot between believer and unbeliever? Tell me what agreement there is between the temple of God and idols. You are the temple of the living God.

Can you and I comprehend that last sentence? When we walk in grace, we are the temple of the living God. This is what Christ won for us on the Cross.

A man with faith, a man who prays and comes before the throne of God, is priceless. When difficulties come around in life, and there is no end to them, would you not want a man who knows how to come to Christ and intercede for his family? A Christ centered man will lay down his life for his family. He will bring graces into his marriage and into the problems of life. He will be a blessing for his wife and children, and his grandchildren.

An unbeliever cannot comprehend any of these things.

He may promise things to get married but when the children come, but he will be the bad example living with you. He won’t want to go to church and the children will see by dad’s example that Christ is not important. There’s nothing like a good Catholic dad to speak of the virtues to his children, and correct them as they go along. The four cardinal virtues – justice, wisdom (prudence), courage (fortitude), and moderation (self-control, temperance), is something a Catholic dad should be modeling and teaching your children, and that influence will spill into your grandchildren.

Desire more from your spouse and life partner. Good looks fade with years but a solid Catholic husband and father will shine into the generations to come.

If my words are foreign to you, there’s good news. There’s way more to Catholic living then you might realize, and it’s awesome. May God give you wisdom and courage to make smart choices at this point in your life.

If there are home schooling families in your parish, I would encourage you to get to know them. I know some amazing families and they have shown me that there’s more. Way more. God bless.