Interracial marriage and parents?

[Joie_de_Vivre]

No, Shame on you. This girl has met someone she loves. It is not up to parents to arrange who their children will marry. The case you describe is rare, very rare. Arranged marriages are not the norm now, and are way out dated. It has nothing to do with trusting God either.

She needs to marry the person she loves, not the person everyone else wants her to love.

There is no moral obligation to marry someone you love, indeed three hundred years ago that was viewed as weird and irrational in the West.

 

[Allegra]

No, Shame on you. This girl has met someone she loves. It is not up to parents to arrange who their children will marry. The case you describe is rare, very rare. Arranged marriages are not the norm now, and are way out dated. It has nothing to do with trusting God either.

She needs to marry the person she loves, not the person everyone else wants her to love.

She didn’t say that she has met anyone she loves.

 

[Filia_Secunda]

Hey, I’m 15 too! But I think other people have already given the answers: that you should honor your parents, but need not obey them if you’re sure their will isn’t God’s; that you don’t need to worry about your marriage much at this age; and that God’s grace will bring the right ending. Maybe when you pray for your future husband (which is a good idea, by the way; I might start doing that, even though I don’t think I’m called to marriage), you could also ask for acceptance from your parents, and courage in you and your husband.

 

[JCats1]

She didn’t say that she has met anyone she loves.

I’m not in love with anyone at the moment. I don’t even have a boyfriend and I don’t plan on dating until I get to college, because I feel as if dating in High school is somewhat pointless.

 

[JCats1]

Hey, I’m 15 too! But I think other people have already given the answers: that you should honor your parents, but need not obey them if you’re sure their will isn’t God’s; that you don’t need to worry about your marriage much at this age; and that God’s grace will bring the right ending. Maybe when you pray for your future husband (which is a good idea, by the way; I might start doing that, even though I don’t think I’m called to marriage), you could also ask for acceptance from your parents, and courage in you and your husband.

I’ve never thought of that! Thank you!

 

[JCats1]

There is no moral obligation to marry someone you love, indeed three hundred years ago that was viewed as weird and irrational in the West.

According to my standards, I have to marry a person that I love. There are people that say that love will come later in the marriage but I really don’t believe that. I want to have a happy marriage, not one that I was forced into. My parents’ marriage was arranged and they weren’t meant for each other. They never showed affection in front of my sister and I. They never even held hands. There’s so much tension between them and it’s terrible. I don’t want a marriage like that and I don’t want my future children to experience what I have to go through everyday.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

According to my standards, I have to marry a person that I love. There are people that say that love will come later in the marriage but I really don’t believe that. I want to have a happy marriage, not one that I was forced into. My parents’ marriage was arranged and they weren’t meant for each other. They never showed affection in front of my sister and I. They never even held hands. There’s so much tension between them and it’s terrible. I don’t want a marriage like that and I don’t want my future children to experience what I have to go through everyday.

If you look at the West love marriages fail pretty badly too.

One set of my grandparents have an arranged marriage and it has turned out fine as has my other set who were high school sweethearts so both can definitely work out.

 

[djames99]

Not an issue to the Church.(You don’t say you are Catholic.) In my experience though, the relations are more inclined to carry with them religious and cultural differences. Not to be a concern of course since this could occur in every race. I’m just saying not to be surprised issues may develop along those lines. I have a close relative who is married to a Tibetan woman. A wonderful loving mother who raised her sons in the american culture, and we all get along fine. However, it’s just sad the children were raised Buddist, and the Catholic faith is frowned upon.

This decision by her set the stage for the children to discover by chance on their own the true Faith, no help from the parents has Scripture insisted they provide. The graces of being a member of God’s only sanctioned Church will be lost to them possibly for a time, unless the Holy Spirit inspires them. There are cultures that follow hostile sects they call ‘religions’. These may even go so far as to kidnap the children and flee to a home nation, leaving the mother who raised them in despair. This is not an exaggeration, …it happens.

I would suggest you seek to marry within the Catholic faith, and do not sacrifice this by making it optional. This is so important generally today. Actually practice your religion so that when your children are born, you can start introducing them to the new Faith. Many of the family related problems that arrive later can be pin pointed to a wrong choice of mate to start. You may experience much pressure for you to cave on this point. Attractions and infatuations may catch hold, and one may naturally become lost in the ‘magic’ of young romance. Hold fast.

The racial issue?, not important.

 

[JCats1]

Not an issue to the Church.(You don’t say you are Catholic.) In my experience though, the relations are more inclined to carry with them religious and cultural differences. Not to be a concern of course since this could occur in every race. I’m just saying not to be surprised issues may develop along those lines. I have a close relative who is married to a Tibetan woman. A wonderful loving mother who raised her sons in the american culture, and we all get along fine. However, it’s just sad the children were raised Buddist, and the Catholic faith is frowned upon.

This decision by her set the stage for the children to discover by chance on their own the true Faith, no help from the parents has Scripture insisted they provide. The graces of being a member of God’s only sanctioned Church will be lost to them possibly for a time, unless the Holy Spirit inspires them. There are cultures that follow hostile sects they call ‘religions’. These may even go so far as to kidnap the children and flee to a home nation, leaving the mother who raised them in despair. This is not an exaggeration, …it happens.

I would suggest you seek to marry within the Catholic faith, and do not sacrifice this by making it optional. This is so important generally today. Actually practice your religion so that when your children are born, you can start introducing them to the new Faith. Many of the family related problems that arrive later can be pin pointed to a wrong choice of mate to start. You may experience much pressure for you to cave on this point. Attractions and infatuations may catch hold, and one may naturally become lost in the ‘magic’ of young romance. Hold fast.

The racial issue?, not important.

Of course I’m a practicing Catholic! And yes my future husband HAS to be Catholic or at least Orthodox. I wouldnt even consider dating any guy whos not.

 

[LittleRose]

… I feel as if dating in High school is somewhat pointless.

Ha! This is so true!

 

[JCats1]

Ha! This is so true!

Lol yeah. I mean I feel that teenagers aren’t really mature enough to understand what real love is…Most of the feelings we think is “love” is really infatuation controlled by hormones. I believe that if you truly love someone, you are willing to lay down your life for this person. That love is so deep and I’m still trying to understand that love. As a teenager, I know I won’t be able to understand it with wild hormones, and I want to date so I can search for a potential spouse. This is why I want to wait until college to actually “look” for a guy.