Interrupting someone while they are praying

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Rae8

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I have had a lady in the church touch me and ask me a question while I was deep in prayer, (obviously in prayer - so not a mistake on her part). The first time I just responded to her question and continued.

The second time this happened was after a miraculous medal novena weekly service. After it is over is when I like to go deeply in prayer with my prayer requests.

I was on my knees, head bowed, hands folded - obviously in prayer - the other night and I felt a slight poke at my back. I didn’t pay it much notice and thought I was imagining things and continued to pray. I then received a harder poke, which was rather jarring and took me out of my meditation. I turned around to see what was happening. Was I having some sort of supernatural experience??

When I turn around its this same lady, standing behind me and pointing to my miraculous medal booklet next to me. She then asked, “did you want to keep that?” (She volunteers to gather up hand outs and booklets at the end of the service and put them away in a little bin) It was my booklet, not the church’s but it shouldn’t have mattered anyway. I was shocked she would “poke” me out of prayer to ask me such a trivial question. I said, “yes, its mine.” She either didn’t understand or didn’t hear and asked again, “so you want to keep that?” I said again, “yes, its mine” and finally turned around to take it tuck it in my purse to make her understand it was mine and she walked away. I tried to go back into prayer but it was difficult as I was so irritated over the incident.

I am going to have to go to confession over this ridiculous incident. I feel this lady should have known better than to interrupt someone in prayer over a .25 cent booklet.

I also want to make sure she never interrupts me in prayer again but am not sure how to tell her without hurting her feelings. I thought everyone knew that you should not interrupt people while they are praying unless its an urgent matter. And the way she poked me was just rude.
 
I like to pray for a few minutes after Mass is over. I’ve had plenty of people over the years come and interrupt me for various reasons (some legitimate, some frivolous). I just kindly respond to them as necessary and return to prayer. No harm done – God is still there waiting for me. 🙂

I would say a prayer for the lady. She has volunteered to be on clean-up duty and is just trying to fulfill that task.

I understand it is annoying and proper etiquette would tend to dictate that we not interrupt those in prayer. I have been annoyed by it before, too. But I figure God probably wants me to respond to the person in front of me. And I don’t want to let it get me angry as that would be a far greater interruption of my prayer than a thirty second hiatus. So I try to let it go.
 
Yes, it is a good idea to say a prayer for her. It seems to me that someone who interrupts a person who is obviously praying, has not yet reached that point in prayer. If she had, she would be aware that you are communicating with the Lord and should not be interrupted… unless it was an emergency, such as a “FIRE”. 🙂
 
Yes, pray for her…and consider her interrupting you which caused you to pray for her as the work of the Holy Spirit to prompt you to fulfill His will that you pray for others.
 
She was picking up books and probably wanted to get done with her job. How long did you expect her to wait?

I am totally bewildered as to why this would constitute a mortal sin? A mortal sin is the only reason you “have” to go to confession.
 
How about next time you stand up, spin around swiftly while continuing to pray as loud as possible with this posture :rolleyes:

 
I don’t understand why you think you have to go to confession over this.
 
adrift said:
She was picking up books and probably wanted to get done with her job. How long did you expect her to wait?

I am totally bewildered as to why this would constitute a mortal sin? A mortal sin is the only reason you “have” to go to confession.
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There is a place for the booklets to be placed. Its not required that she put them away. So how long I expected her to wait would be forever! You don’t interrupt someone in prayer for something like that and you certainly don’t do it by poking them in their back!

I am not saying my irritation is a mortal sin. But I do feel I need to confess when I get irritated or impatient with someone. I go every week.
 
Joe_5859 said:
I understand it is annoying and proper etiquette would tend to dictate that we not interrupt those in prayer. I have been annoyed by it before, too. But I figure God probably wants me to respond to the person in front of me. And I don’t want to let it get me angry as that would be a far greater interruption of my prayer than a thirty second hiatus. So I try to let it go.
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I never thought of that. Or maybe she wanted some interaction with me.

It has helped to vent a little. There is a history with this lady. She has slandered my husband to me and other church members in past with a pretty bad lie and I guess that is the real issue I am trying to forgive.
 
Its difficult to see how poking someone in the back can ever be an appropriate way of interrupting their prayer, I think.

I do find it difficult if I feel I have to interrupt someone at prayer. At first I simply go and sit near them in such a way that they may become aware that someone has come close and they look around.

Re-membering baptism
 
Godric2 said:
Its difficult to see how poking someone in the back can ever be an appropriate way of interrupting their prayer, I think.

I do find it difficult if I feel I have to interrupt someone at prayer. At first I simply go and sit near them in such a way that they may become aware that someone has come close and they look around.

Re-membering baptism
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That is a good way to do it if you need to speak to someone. (She didn’t need to speak to me.)
 
“And the way she poked me was just rude.”

Poking people to get their attention, whether praying or walking down the street, is extremely rude. People who do this to me give me an urge to slap them. I have been known to use a very icy tone to tell total strangers on the street who think a poke is required before asking for directions, whereas people who politely say “excuse me” and keep their mitts to themselves find me very friendly and helpful.

OTOH, a number of years ago when the city of Philadelphia was looking to ease race relations, there were community seminars addressing cultural differences that caused misunderstandings. Among things pointed out was that when Korean shop owners set money on the counter rather than in a customer’s hand, it was not out of a racist unwillingness for them to touch an African-American, it was a Korean cultural way of expressing respect for the customer by taking great care to avoid touching them. The two groups needed to come to appreciate the other’s way of showing respect and accept it as such. It was pointed out that when white people jumped back from a poke on the street by an African American seeking attention to ask for directions, it was not a similar form of racism, but a reaction that they would equally have if a white person poked them. It was the poking itself, not who did it, that was unacceptable. Several years later, I was teaching in a school where racial tensions rose, including a complaint from several white teachers about black ones touching them to seek attention or emphasize a point–not sexually or anything like that. I brought up the story about the city’s previous seminars in a faculty meeting, and it turned out to have been an effective move; both groups talked about it together and came to an understanding; tensions eased after that. If your case is a cross-racial one, it might benefit the entire parish if the priest had a cultural anthropologist address it in a parish meeting.

To interrupt a person’s prayer apart from a real emergency in any way, whether by a rude poke or a polite excuse me is way beyond rude and unacceptable. I think the woman needs to be told in as kind a way as possible that the behavior is simply awful. Perhaps you can ask the priest how to go about it. He might make a general announcement from the pulpit addressed to everybody in general and nobody in particular that could help. If she fails to take note of the announcement, then a personal approach might be needed. If she offends one person, she is probably offending many, and not everybody will be as nice as you.
 
Rae8 said:
I never thought of that. Or maybe she wanted some interaction with me.

It has helped to vent a little. There is a history with this lady. She has slandered my husband to me and other church members in past with a pretty bad lie and I guess that is the real issue I am trying to forgive.
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:eek: In light of that history, I can certainly understand that increasing the irritation factor!

Yes, perhaps you can interpret it as a gentle “poke” from the Holy Spirit to forgive and let go. :o
 
Dorine_Houston said:
“And the way she poked me was just rude.”

Poking people to get their attention, whether praying or walking down the street, is extremely rude. People who do this to me give me an urge to slap them. I have been known to use a very icy tone to tell total strangers on the street who think a poke is required before asking for directions, whereas people who politely say “excuse me” and keep their mitts to themselves find me very friendly and helpful.
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She may have said “excuse me.” She may have said it a couple of times.

According to the OP:
was on my knees, head bowed, hands folded - obviously in prayer - the other night and I felt a slight poke at my back. I didn’t pay it much notice and thought I was imagining things and continued to pray.
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It may be that by the time the woman “poked,” she was tired of saying, “excuse me.”
 
Thank you all for your thoughts.

While even a tap is really unnecessary when you can always say, “excuse me” as one poster above said, at least its a tiny bit better than a poke. But to me, a poke like I experienced is a very minor battery - an unwanted & offensive touching.

I think I might mention it to the priest after all when I go to confession.
 
Rae8 said:
There is a place for the booklets to be placed. Its not required that she put them away. So how long I expected her to wait would be forever! You don’t interrupt someone in prayer for something like that and you certainly don’t do it by poking them in their back!

I am not saying my irritation is a mortal sin. But I do feel I need to confess when I get irritated or impatient with someone. I go every week.
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This is not what you said what you said was She volunteers to gather up hand outs and booklets at the end of the service and put them away in a little bin.

She was trying to do a job by your account. Her interruption of you was reasonable your reaction is not.
 
maryjk said:
She may have said “excuse me.” She may have said it a couple of times.

According to the OP:

It may be that by the time the woman “poked,” she was tired of saying, “excuse me.”
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No, I would have heard her. She was right behind me and I could hear other people who were still in the back of the church.
 
Rae8 said:
No, I would have heard her. She was right behind me and I could hear other people who were still in the back of the church.
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But you said, yourself, that you thought you imagined the first poke. So you weren’t sure someone was physically touching you, but you would have heard if someone spoke to you.
 
adrift said:
This is not what you said what you said was She volunteers to gather up hand outs and booklets at the end of the service and put them away in a little bin.

She was trying to do a job by your account. Her interruption of you was reasonable your reaction is not.
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No one needs to do that. She likes to do it. There is a place to put the booklets as you leave. No one needs her to carry them there. Her interruption was not reasonable by any measure. You want to give her the benefit of the doubt which is great. But I think you’re out voted on this one.
 
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