V
Viki63
Guest
So sorry you are in the midst of this.
My husband didn’t drink but he was bipolar and subject to rages, when he became abusive and violent.
What I did, with the advice of a counselor, was set a boundary. Because things would be good for awhile, then something would set him off, and we’d go through violence and fighting again, and he’d apologize, and things would calm down. So I never felt like it was a good time to leave.
I told him, if you hit me again, I’m leaving. I had a two year old and was seven months pregnant at the time. I told a friend I might ask her to come pick me up with short notice, and she agreed.
A week or two later, he blew up and threw a block of wood at me. It missed my son’s head by a few inches, and hit me in the back because I turned around. I stopped what I was doing, called my friend, and packed a few things in a bag. Meanwhile he was hugging our son and crying, begging forgiveness.
It was tempting to think he was really sorry, and that it wasn’t a big deal, but actually it was. It could have injured my son; I carried the scar where the wood hit me for a year.
I left when my friend arrived, with my son, and only went back once with help to pick up a few things. I stayed with my friend for a week or so, then found an apartment for my children and I and applied for Aid to Dependent Children.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it was not complicated, since I had thought through what I had to do beforehand. And once I got out of the situation I started to heal. I got to ride in a car without fearing I’d be struck if he got angry, I got to be free of fear for my son’s life, and I saw what insanity I’d been involved in.
I hope that you will step back, get help, and take steps to get yourself and your children to a calm and safe life.
.
My husband didn’t drink but he was bipolar and subject to rages, when he became abusive and violent.
What I did, with the advice of a counselor, was set a boundary. Because things would be good for awhile, then something would set him off, and we’d go through violence and fighting again, and he’d apologize, and things would calm down. So I never felt like it was a good time to leave.
I told him, if you hit me again, I’m leaving. I had a two year old and was seven months pregnant at the time. I told a friend I might ask her to come pick me up with short notice, and she agreed.
A week or two later, he blew up and threw a block of wood at me. It missed my son’s head by a few inches, and hit me in the back because I turned around. I stopped what I was doing, called my friend, and packed a few things in a bag. Meanwhile he was hugging our son and crying, begging forgiveness.
It was tempting to think he was really sorry, and that it wasn’t a big deal, but actually it was. It could have injured my son; I carried the scar where the wood hit me for a year.
I left when my friend arrived, with my son, and only went back once with help to pick up a few things. I stayed with my friend for a week or so, then found an apartment for my children and I and applied for Aid to Dependent Children.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it was not complicated, since I had thought through what I had to do beforehand. And once I got out of the situation I started to heal. I got to ride in a car without fearing I’d be struck if he got angry, I got to be free of fear for my son’s life, and I saw what insanity I’d been involved in.
I hope that you will step back, get help, and take steps to get yourself and your children to a calm and safe life.
.