Intimacy with Christ

[Whitacre_Girl]

What does it look/feel like to you?

I only ask because I am on a rather interesting spiritual high right now. I don’t know if it’s Christ drawing nearer to me during a time of intense spiritual attack, or what. I just know that I am loving it. I also dearly want to hear your experiences.

I’ve downloaded a ton of worship music onto my iPod…well, as much as I can afford, which isn’t much…and have taken to singing/praying on my morning commute. (maybe not the best for save driving…but yeah…) I’ve also been finding myself departing from recited prayer and going into a more “meditative” kind of prayer. Where I’ll find an image of Christ, or even visualize him and just talk. Like I talk to my husband, but…well…deeper. I’ve just had this sense of love for Christ overcome me lately that is really intense. I literally have not felt this way for a very long time. I’ve gone through a very bad spiritual desert that has lasted literal years. I just feel like when I look out the window, there is only the thinnest of veils hiding the face of Christ from me, and I find myself looking forward to, rather than fearing, the day that I depart this Earth and find myself face-to-face with him.

I mean, I know I am not guaranteed heaven, and I know I am more than unworthy, but even if I stand before Christ for a split second and see his face only for the briefest of moments, I would feel incredibly blessed. I feel as though even if I were the lowest of creations in heaven, and sat at the feet of the table, I would find my heart’s every wish filled.

Sadly, as part of this spiritual attack, I have been unable to attend mass since this started. I am hoping with all sincere desperation to get myself to mass this weekend, even if it means quitting my job.

Anyway, I’d love to hear from others.

 

[Monica4316]

I think it is likely that this is a grace, because it is drawing you closer to God sometimes He allows us this to encourage us in our faith and to help us love and desire Him more.

that is beautiful imo

I remember reading something in “Divine Mercy in My Soul”… how St Faustina was so overwhelmed with His love for her, and He said it’s only a tiny bit, and that she would not be able to experience all of His love on earth. I really can’t imagine how much He loves us… I just hope I will never ever reject His love! I’m so weak that it would happen if He doesn’t give me grace to always choose Him.

I think prayer, experiencing God’s love, etc, is all part of intimacy with Christ… also the Eucharist, that is the ultimate union we can have with Him on earth…of course we don’t always experience it in the same way, - yet Im sure it always gives us tremendous graces

God bless!

 

[lelhajj]

a lot of times, when i pray the rosary: the divine mercy, i feel so close to Him. I can try to visualize all the pain He has gone through, that sometimes i even cry, because i can not even be or feel nothing close to that pain he willingly accepted.
I had had so many trials in my life and those trials have tested my faith, but, i have realize that for God, nothing is impossible. when i feel so sad or in despair, i just pray and i surrender to the will of our Lord, even if it is hard to accept. I put my trust in Him completely. I know that when i surrender and i really give my trust to Him, i feel free or any anxiety and ready to take my cross whatever it might be.
I have tried to love Him first, above everything, my family, my friends, myself and when that love is felt that way, nothing or nobody can be as important and a strength that our Lord. While i am on this earth, i try to be a better catholic, eventhough frequently i make mistakes, and i try to improve each day while i am here, because i know that when my time comes i want to be near God where everything is peaceful and full of love. I look forward to that day.

 

[lelhajj]

I only know that when i am in deep prayer with my Lord i feel an inmense peace in my soul and a love that nobody can always give. This is a love that nobody can take away from me, and it is always there for me. Family, friends, spouses, children can leave you, but not the love of our Father. He is always there for me,in my good and in my bad times.
May God always be with all of you.
God is my inner strength and my goal.

 

[llblarosa]

Over the past couple of years I have had a few very beautiful experiences in prayer:

1. Last year, I was late for mass because of the time change, so I drove around until I found a mass at a later time. While I was attending mass, I had the sensation that God was embracing me. I could hear what was going on around me, but I was not affected nor disturbed by it. It did not last long, as when mass continued I had to resume activity, but I am certain I will never forget it.
2. Once, in my prayer at home, I had the realization (to some extent) of the depth of God’s love for me. I was so overwhelmed by it, I could do nothing but lay on my bed and cry for the longing of Him. It was after this that I began to conceive of God as a lover, like on Song of Songs! (I used to find this idea kind of creepy.)
3. I have had moments of epiphany in prayer, where all of a sudden I understand some concept, like Beauty or Truth, and it seem so monumentally profound I want to scream it to the world.
4. I have had times in my Morning and Evening Prayer where I have suddenly “seen” the answers to questions of my deepest longings (even though I had read the same passages many times before), and I weep with gratitude.

These are just a few, but when I think of what the saints must have experienced to bring them to accept horrible suffering or even martyrdom, I know that that complete SURRENDER to Him in all things is not misplaced.

If you want some truly inspiring music for your prayer times (before, during, or after) try Rachmaninov’s Vespers. When I listen and pray, I feel as if I am being lifted to heaven. I used to think this was artificial, but St. Teresa of Avila says that the point of prayer is not to think much but to love much and to do whatever inspires this love. Rachmaninov’s Vespers will elevate you to this love.

God Bless to All,

Lisa

 

[FightingFat]

I think it is likely that this is a grace, because it is drawing you closer to God sometimes He allows us this to encourage us in our faith and to help us love and desire Him more.

that is beautiful imo

I remember reading something in “Divine Mercy in My Soul”… how St Faustina was so overwhelmed with His love for her, and He said it’s only a tiny bit, and that she would not be able to experience all of His love on earth. I really can’t imagine how much He loves us… I just hope I will never ever reject His love! I’m so weak that it would happen if He doesn’t give me grace to always choose Him.

I think prayer, experiencing God’s love, etc, is all part of intimacy with Christ… also the Eucharist, that is the ultimate union we can have with Him on earth…of course we don’t always experience it in the same way, - yet Im sure it always gives us tremendous graces

God bless!

I like this and identify with what you’re saying here.

For me, it is about the Divine Will. When I am living as He wants me to live I am in tune with the Divine Will and my life hums with a resonance that reflects the living Christ’s risen presence in me. Difficult things are not difficult and all I want is to be immersed in prayer and communion with my God in everything I do and say…In my mind, in my heart and on my lips…

 

[beckycmarie]

Whitacre Girl,

You might be interested in a little book by Venerable Concepcion Cabrera de Armida (also known as “Conchita”) called Seasons of the Soul:

The classics of Roman Cathoic spirituality have often described progress in the spiritual life as an arduous climb to the summit as in The Ascent of Mount Carmel by St. John of the Cross, or as the passage through various mansions until one reaches the abode of God in the inner chamber as in The Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila.

Concepción Cabrera de Armida (Conchita) takes a more cyclical approach and sees the spiritual life as an ongoing maturation through the various seasons of the year which continuously repeat themselves over and over again until the soul has fulfilled its purpose here on earth. From the first Springtime of the soul until it has weathered its last Winter, the Holy Spirit is at work gradually transforming the soul in the image and likeness of Jesus, the Father’s highly beloved and only-begotten Son. A careful reading of these pages will give a very clear insight into the depth of this saintly author’s own growth in holiness. Truly another classic in the area of Roman Catholic spirituality!

Source: albahouse.org/Seasons.htm

It sounds to me that you are experiencing a spiritual springtime after having been through a hard winter.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

It’s been great reading all your repsonses!

I am a big fan of Rachmaninoff’s Vespers, having sung one of the movements in college. GREAT stuff!

I will definatly have to see if I can find that book. I don’t have a lot of time for personal reading because I am in school, and any free time is devoted either to homework, reading textbooks, or exercising, but I will look in to it when things slow down!!

I do like that analogy of a springtime. I think a lot of it is me learning to deal with the effects of PTSD (nasty thing, by the way) and therefore I can be more open, but also I think God is really poruing into me for some reason. I can’t be sure why, but I am fine with whatever the reason. Even though logic tells me it’s because I am headed for a time of extreme external spiritual persecution. My school just has zero tolerance for christians. I think they only let us in so they can try to rip us away from Christ. Too bad that once we are his, no one can take us from his hand unless we choose to walk away, right?

I just hate that my spiritual winter lasted about 5 years. I didn’t think I was gunna make it. I almost didn’t. I almost gave up completely not 3 months ago. I just hope this lasts for a while.